UKUVEZWA KWEMICABANGO YABALINGISWA NGEMPILO YABATHANDANA NOBULILI OBUFANAYO EZINDABENI EZIMFISHANE NASEMANOVELINI AKHETHIWE ESIZULU. B.B.B. XABA UKUVEZWA KWEMICABANGO YABALINGISWA NGEMPILO YABATHANDANA NOBULILI OBUFANAYO EZINDABENI EZIMFISHANE NASEMANOVELINI AKHETHIWE ESIZULU. NGU BERYL BABSY BONIWE XABA UMQULU WOCWANINGO OWETHULWE UKUFEZA IZIMFANELO ZEZIQU ZE MASTERS IN HUMANITIES ENYUVESI YAKWAZULU – NATAL NGO MASINGANA - 2016 UMELULEKI: Slz. A. M. Maphumulo i ii Amazwi Okubonga Kunabantu ababambe iqhaza elikhulu ekwenzeni lo msebenzi ube impumelelo, ngithi ukwanda kwaliwa umthakathi ku: USolwazi u-A. M. Maphumulo, umeluleki wami ongicushise wangicongisa, ngisho umfula ungenisa ubengiqinisa idolo, manje sengize ngawelela ngaphesheya. Kunezikhathi lapho ebesike sijiyelwe amacebo, imigoqo imile endleleni yethu. UMashimane ebewaphindaphinda amazwi akhe athi, “Kuzolunga”. Ngalezo zinsuku lawa mazwi akhe ebengenayo incazelo, kodwa uma sekuntwela ezansi kanje, ngithi: Unwele olude, Mashimane! Ngidlulisa ukubonga uDkt.uNakanjani Sibiya kanye noDkt. uBoni Zungu ngezeluleko nokungikhuthaza kwabo. Nime njalo! Nina seningabakwethu! Ngeswele imilomo ezinkulungwane ukubonga kumyeni wami uDumisani, amadodakazi ethu uKwandi, uNkhensani, uLerato kanye noNthabiseng ngokungeseka ngothando nangemibono. Unwele olude boShwabada! Ngedlulisa ukubonga odadewethu uSiziwe, uNtombikhona, uSindi, uThulile, uGcinile kanye nomfowethu onguzinyobulala uCelani. MaChunu amahle owenu lo msebenzi! Sengiphetha, ngibonga uMdali ngempilo angiphe yona, ngokungisondeza kulaba bantu abangenhla, nangengqondo angiphe yona yokuqala lo msebenzi uze ufike emaphethelweni. Sonini Nanini singayaphi uma sisuka kuwe? iii Iqoqa Uma kuke kwaphathwa igama elithi, ubutabane abantu babuthisa izinhlonze, bahlahle amehlo. Kungaba isemindenini noma emphakathini kuyefana. Lolu hlobo lwempilo kwabanye lubukeka sengathi isifo noma umkhuhlane othile othathelanayo futhi onobungozi. Esikhathini samanje ukuthandana nobulili obufanayo kuyindlela yokuphila esemthethweni ikakhulukazi lapha eNingizimu Afrika ngoba kuyilungelo elishicilelwe ngisho emthethweni sisekelo wezwe. Nakuba kunjalo imiphakathi eminingi yaseNingizimu Afrika ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo ikuthatha njengohlobo lwempilo oluvela emazweni aphesheya, ikholelwa ekutheni akusiyo indlela yempilo yalapha e-Afrika. Intshisekelo yokwenza lolu cwaningo isuka khona lapho ekutheni iyingcosana imibhalo enale ndikimba esike yashicilelwa olimini lwesiZulu. Le mibhalo ekhethiwe ecwaningwe lapha inhloso yayo ukuvula amehlo esizweni sonke ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Lolu cwaningo lubuye lubheke nezinxushunxushu ezivela emibhalweni ecwaningiwe ezidalwa izifiso ezingasaphumelelanga zalabo abangamalungu omndeni ngenxa yokuthi indodana noma indodakazi yabo isiphumele obala ngesimo sobulili bayo. Ucwaningo lubheka nokuqhekeka kwemindeni okuholela ekwahlukaneni kwabashadile, ekuxabaneni kozalo ngenxa yezinqumo zalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Lolu cwaningo lubheka izizathu ezenza umphakathi ungalwemukeli lolu hlobo lwempilo ikakhulukazi esizweni samaZulu. Ukukhuliswa komntwana ophila le mpilo kungenye yezinto eziphawuliwe kubhekiswa emibhalweni ecwaningiwe. Iqhaza elibanjwe usikompilo nalo liyagqama kulolu cwaningo. Kanjalo nokushayisana kwemiqondo phakathi kwalowo othandana nobulili obufana nobakhe kanye namalunga omndeni noma omphakathi kuyahlaziywa kulolu cwaningo kanjalo nezizathu zalesi simo. Umcwaningi ubheka nokuthi lezi zinqumo ezithathwa abalingiswa abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, zibaphatha kanjani abasondelene nabo. Kubuye kubhekwe nezimo ezinzima abantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo ababhekana nazo kanye nobungozi obuvezwe emibhalweni ecwaningiwe ngokuphumela obala kwalabo abaphila le mpilo.Ucwaningo lonke luhlose ukufundisa ngokuthandana kwabantu abanobulili obufanayo, luphinde luxwayise ngobungozi bokubacwasa njengoba umthethosikelelo wezwe weseka wonke umuntu oyisakhamuzi sakuleli. iv OKUQUKETHWE 1.0 Ukwethulwa Kocwaningo 1.1 Isethulo Socwaningo_________________________________________ 1 1.2 Izinhloso zocwaningo________________________________________ 7 1.3 Izindlela zokwenza ucwaningo_________________________________ 8 1.4 Injulalwazi ephathelene nobutabane____________________________ 13 1.5 Ukuhlelwa kwezahluko_______________________________________ 16 1.6 Ukuchazwa kwamagama_____________________________________ 18 1.6.1 Ubutabane_________________________________________________ 18 1.6.2 Imizwa yocansi_____________________________________________ 20 1.6.3 Imizwa yobulili_____________________________________________ 21 1.6.4 Oncukumbili ______________________________________________ 22 1.6.5 Ufuziso ___________________________________________________ 23 1.6.6 Ubulili nemizwa yocansi______________________________________24 1.6.7 Imizwa nobulili_____________________________________________ 25 1.6.8 Ukuguqula ubulili___________________________________________ 28 1.6.8. 1 Ubulili obuguquliwe_________________________________________ 28 1.6.8.2 Ubulili obuxubile___________________________________________ 30 1.6.9 Inzondo ebhekiswe ezitabaneni________________________________ 32 1.6.10 Ukudideka emizweni yobulili_________________________________ 34 1.6.11 Ukwehluka________________________________________________ 35 1.7 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi kulesi sahluko__________________________ 36 1.8 Isiphetho __________________________________________________ 36 v 2.0 Ukubukezwa kwemibhalo 2.1 Isingeniso_________________________________________________ 38 2.2 Imibhalo eyimiqulu _________________________________________ 38 2.2.1 Umqulu kaNjilo____________________________________________ 38 2.2.1.1. Okuhambelana nombono kaNjilo ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe.____________________________________________ 40 2.2.1.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaNjilo emanovelini acwaningiwe_________ 42 2.2.2 Umqulu kaStobie___________________________________________ 42 2.2.2.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaStobie ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe._____________________________________________ 43 2.2.2.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaStobie emanovelini acwaningiwe.________ 44 2.2.3 Umqulu kaChapman_________________________________________ 46 2.2.3.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaChapman ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe._____________________________________________ 46 2.2.3.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaChapman emanovelini acwaningiwe._____ 48 2.2.4 Umqulu kaBeetar___________________________________________ 49 2.2.4.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaBeetar ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe._____________________________________________ 50 2.2.4.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaBeetar emanovelini acwaningiwe.________ 51 2.2.5 Umqulu kaSwinstead________________________________________ 52 2.2.5.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaSwinstead ezindabeni ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe._____________________________________________ 53 2.2.5.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaSwinstead emanovelini acwaningiwe._____ 55 2.3 Imibhalo engamabhuku______________________________________ 56 2.3.1 Inoveli kaSfiso Mkhize______________________________________ 56 2.4 Amanoveli acwaningiwe_____________________________________ 58 2.5 Okushiwo izindaba ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe___________________ 60 2.6 Amaphephandaba___________________________________________ 61 2.7 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi emibhalweni ekhuluma ngobutabane.________ 63 2.8 Isiphetho ____________________________________________ ______63 vi 3.0 Injulalwazi ephathelene nokuthandana kobulili obufanayo 3.1 Isingeniso _________________________________________________64 3.2 Injulalwazi yobutabane_______________________________________ 64 3.2.1 Imizwa yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo.________________________ 64 3.2.2 Injulalwazi yobutabane ibhekiswe emphakathini __________________ 67 3.3 Okushiwo yile njulalwazi yobutabane emibhalweni ecwaningiwe _____ 71 3.3.1 Injulalwazi yobutabane enovelini Bengithi Lizokuna _______________ 72 3.3.1.1 UNgidi ___________________________________________________ 73 3.3.1.2 UNontobeko _______________________________________________ 73 3.3.1.3 UXolani __________________________________________________ 73 3.3.1.4 UNdumiso_________________________________________________ 74 3.3.2 Injulalwazi yobutabane enovelini ethi, Bayeza Abanqobi ___________ 75 3.3.3 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane ethi, Impohlo __________ 76 3.3.4 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane ethi, Ngeke ____________ 76 3.3.5 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane ethi, Oqotsheni_________ 76 3.3.6 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane ethi, Umhlaba Ushingile__ 78 3.3.7 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane ethi, Amalungelo_______ 78 3.4 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi ngale njulalwazi _______________________ 79 3.5 Isiphetho ________________________________________________ 79 vii 4. 0 Ukuvezwa kwemicabango nezenzo zabalingiswa zobutabane emanovelini acwaningiwe. 4.1 Isingeniso _______________________________________________ 80 4.2 Imicabango yabalingiswa enovelini: Bayeza Abanqobi____________ 82 4.3 Imicabango yabalingiswa enovelini: Bengithi Lizokuna___________ 90 4.4 Ukwehluka kwemibono ngokweminyaka yobudala: Bengithi Lizokuna ______________________________________________ 98 4.5 Izenzo nemicabango yabalingiswa iveza inkathi yamanje ________ 100 4.6 Imibono yabesilisa asebebadala ngobutabane___________________ 104 4.7 Okwethulwa izihloko zamanoveli acwaningwayo ________________ 105 4.8 Ubudlelwano phakathi kwendikimba yobutabane nendikimba yothando emanovelini acwaningiwe __________________________________ 108 4.9 Ukwehluka kwemibono ngokweminyaka yobudala: Bayeza Abanqobi________________________________________________ 118 4.10 Okufanayo ezezweni nasemicabangweni yabalingiswa bamanoveli acwaningiwe ngendikimba yobutabane ______________________ 119 4.11 Okwahlukile ezenzweni nasemicabangweni yabalingiswa bamanoveli acwaningiwe ngendikimba yobutabane _____________________ 121 4.12 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi ngabalingiswa bamanoveli acwaningiwe. __ 124 4.13 Isiphetho ____________________________________________ 124 viii 5.0 Ukuvezwa kwemicabango nezenzo zabalingiswa zobutabane ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe 5.1 Isingeniso _____________________________________________ 125 5.2 Ukwazi ngamalungelo abo: Ezindabeni Ezimfishane ___________ 125 5.3 Bayaphokophela kwabakholelwa kukho: Ezindabeni Ezimfishane__ 133 5.4 Ukudonsisana nokwehluka kwemibono: Ezindabeni Ezimfishane __ 138 5.5 Abazali bayahlukumezeka: Ezindabeni Ezimfishane ____________ 144 5.6 Imisebenzi nemidlalo emiselwe ubulili obuthile _______________ 146 5.7 Izinto zokudlala zabafana nezamantombazane ________________ 148 5.8 Ukwehluka kwemibono phakathi kwabancane nabadala ngeminyaka_ 149 5.9 Umyalezo owethulwa ngezihloko zezindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe ________________________________________ 151 5.10 Okufanayo nokwahlukile ezezweni nasemicabangweni yabalingiswa bezindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe ngendikimba yobutabane.__ 152 5.11 Izimpawu zobufana kumfana _______________________________ 153 5.12 Ubutabane sebungenye yezinhlobo zemisebenzi _________________ 154 5.13 Ulwazi ngempilo ephilwa abathandana nobulili obufanayo ______ 155 5.14 Izindlela zokwakha imindeni yabo laba abathandana nobulili obufanayo ____________________________________________ 155 5.15 Izimfundiso emphakathini ezizuzwe ngalolu cwaningo _________ 156 5.16 Okuzuzwe ucwaningo ngezigigaba ezidaleka ekuthandaneni kobulili obufanayo _____________________________________________ 156 5.17 Ulwazi oluzuzwe ocwaningweni____________________________ 159 5.18 Izinto ezibe nomthelela ekwandeni kwabaphila impilo yobutabane esikhathini samanje ngokwemibono yomcwaningi ____________ 164 5.19 Okungenziwa ngabantu abangenalwazi ngale mpilo __________ 169 5.20 Ubunzima bempilo kulabo abanemizwa yobutabane___________ 170 5.21 Isiphetho ________________________________________________ 171 ix 6.0 Isiphetho socwaningo 6.1 Isingeniso __________________________________________ 172 6.2 Iqoqa locwaningo ____________________________________ 172 6.3 Izincomo neziphakamiso ______________________________ 173 6.4 Ucwaningo olungenziwa ngokuzayo _____________________ 174 6.5 Ukuhlaziya okutholakele ______________________________174 6.6 Ukuphetha isahluko nocwaningo lonke ___________________ 175 1 ISAHLUKO 1 ISETHULO SOCWANINGO 1.1 Isingeniso Izimo esibhekana nazo nsuku zonke emiphakathini yizona eziba yizindikimba ababhali bobuciko abazisebenzisayo. Njengazo zonke–ke izindikimba, eyobutabane iseyinkinga emindenini, emiphakathini nasesizweni sonkana. Yingakho uhulumeni wethu wentando yeningi esawashicilela emthethweni sisekelo wezwe amalungelo okuzikhethela ubulili ongathanda ukuzwana nabo. Nakuba imibhalo yesiZulu enale ndikimba yobutabane ingeminingi, leyo ngcosana esinayo isiveza sigqame isithombe umphakathi obhekene naso ngobutabane. Kulesi sahluko kwethulwa izinhloso zocwaningo, izizathu ezidale ugqozi nentshisekelo yokwenza lolu cwaningo, izindlela ezizosetshenziswa uma kwenziwa lolu cwaningo, injulalwazi ephathelene nobutabane, nokuthi izahluko zihlelwe zahlukaniswa kanjani. Kubuye kwachazwa namagama asetshenziswe ocwaningweni. Ugqozi lokwenza lolu cwaningo luqale emva kokufunda amanoveli nezindaba ezimfishane ezinendikimba yobutabane. Umcwaningi ube esevuleka amehlo ngalolu hlobo lwempilo wabona kukuhle enze ucwaningo ukuze:  Lolu cwaningo lufundise ngale mpilo yobutabane.  Lweluleke labo abaphila le mpilo kodwa ababhekene nenkinga yokuphumela obala ngoba besaba ukucwaswa nokubulawa.  Luhlinzeke ngolwazi kubazali abanabantwana abaphila le mpilo. Indlela umuntu acabanga ngayo incike ezintweni eziningi. Kungaba indlela umuntu akhuliswe ngayo, indawo akhulele kuyona, izingqinamba ahlangabezana nazo empilweni nokunye. Engakamiswa amalungelo abantu eNingizimu Afrika ucansi phakathi kwabantu abawubulili obufanayo lwaluyicala elibomvu, futhi kuyisenzo esilichilo. Izitabane zazishaywa, zikhokhiswe imali yokugqiba ihlazo lazo ukuze lingaveli ngoba lolu hlobo lwempilo lwaluthathwa njengechilo. Ngenxa yokungabibikho komthetho ozivikelayo, izitabane zazihlukumezeka kakhulu. 2 Nasemazweni aphesheya kwakwenzeka okufanayo nokwenzeka kuleli kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo. KuComstock (1991:137) kuyavela ukuthi: In New York City in the 1950s gays and lesbians experienced police brutality and raids in their bars. Ubika athi naseMelika izitabane zaziboshwa amaphoyisa uma nje zike zatholakala zibonisa imizwa yazo noma ngandlelani esidlangalaleni. Ngisho lokhu zikwenza ezindaweni ezisetshenziswa yizona zodwa njengezindawo zazo zokucima ukoma. Umthethosisekelo waseNingizimu Afrika waba owokuqala emhlabeni wonke jikelelele ekubhekeleleni amalungelo abantu bobulili obufanayo abathandanayo, njengoba kwamanye amazwe amaningi izitabane namanje zisacwaseka. Kuleli lungelo lokulingana kuyavela ukuthi kufanele kuhlonishwe ukuzikhethela komuntu nomuntu ukuthi uzothandana nomuntu wabuphi ubulili. Nakuzo izitabane yiso lesi sikhathi soshintsho eNingizimu Afrika esadala ukuthi zikwazi ukuphathwa ngendlela eyiyo nesemthethweni. Lawa malungelo ezitabane okuzikhethela abonakala kweminye imindeni kanye nemiphakathi egxotshagxotshwa, abantu abaqhubeka nokuzicwasa izitabane. Esikhathini samanje ukuthandana nobulili obufanayo sekuyindlela yokuphila esemthethweni ikakhulukazi lapha eNingizimu Afrika ngoba kuyilungelo elishicilelwe ngisho emthethweni sisekelo wezwe. Nakuba kunjalo imiphakathi eminingi yaseNingizimu Afrika ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo ikuthatha njengohlobo lwempilo oluvela emazweni aphesheya, ikholelwa ekutheni akusiyo indlela yempilo yalapha e-Afrika. Imibhalo ecwaningiwe engamanoveli nezindaba ezimfishane iveza ukumila uhlevane kwamalunga omndeni nomphakathi uma ophila le mpilo ephumela obala. Le mibhalo ecwaningiwe ibuye ibheke nezinxushunxushu ezidalwa izifiso ezingasaphumelelanga zalabo abangamalunga omndeni ngenxa yokuthi indodana noma indodakazi yabo isiphumele obala ngesimo sobulili bayo. Ucwaningo lubheka nokuqhekeka kwemindeni okuholela ekwahlukaneni kwabashadile, ekuxabaneni kozalo ngenxa yezinqumo zalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo. 3 Ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo akusiyona into entsha, isimo esasikhona ngisho emandulo. Lokhu kufakazelwa yizahluko ezitholakala ebhayibhelini. Incwadi ibhayibheli elingcwele kuLevitikusi 18:22 lithi: Ungalali nowesilisa njenganowesifazane, kuyisinengiso. Lapha kuyavela ukuthi ukulala kowesilisa nomunye wesilisa, nokulala kowesifazane nomunye wesifazane kuyisinengiso phambi kobuso bukaJehova. Lokhu kuyinkolelo yamaKristu. Kweminye imibhalo ecwaningiwe kuyahlaluka ukuthi ukwenza kwabanye abalingiswa kuveza inkolelo yobuKristu kanti abanye bakholelwa emasikweni esintu njengamadlozi. Kube noshintsho olukhulu emibhalweni yezilimi eziningi sekuphethe uHulumeni wentando yeningi, lapho indikimba eveza ukuthandana kwabanobulili obufanayo ibe seyisetshenziswa ngokukhululeka. Lokhu akuchazi ukuthi ibingekho imibhalo enendikimba yobutabane kodwa kuchazwa ukuthi emva kwenkululeko ibisivama kakhulu. UBettar (2011:3) uphawula athi: The combination of peoples, cultures and histories has placed South Africa in a unique space in relation to identity politics. Discourses of sexual identity are bound to discourses of race, economic background, cultural influence and geographic location. It has been a goal of the post-apartheid administrations to unite all citizens under the all-encompassing rainbow nation South African identity, which theoretically encompasses those who claim a ‘gay identity’. Lapha uBettar ugqamisa imiphumela yokuxubana kwezinhlanga ezahlukene ezindaweni zasemadolobheni nomthelelela wokunyonkelana ngemikhuba namasiko alezo zizwe ezihlala ndawonye. Ubalula uthi inhlosongqangi kahulumeni wentando yeningi ubumbano ezizweni zaseNingizimu Afrika okube nomphumela wokuthi isizwe esithile esihlala nesinye sigcine sesenza okwenziwa yilesi esinye isizwe. Uveza nokuthi nayo le mpilo yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo akulona ichilo kwesinye isizwe kanti kwesinye kuyilona. Yingakho nemibhalo yesiZulu ecwaningiwe izoveza imizwa yabalingiswa ngalolu daba lokuthandana kobulili obufanayo, kuvele nokwehluka kwemibono yabalingiswa. Uqhube wathi isizathu sokuhlala 4 ndawonye kwalezi zizwe kudala ukuthi isizwe esingayishayi ndiva le ndlela yempilo siphakamise izinhlonze uma esinye isizwe siyikhahlela ngazo zombili le mpilo. Kuyahambelana noBeetar okutholakala kule mibhalo ecwaningiwe engeyolimi lwesiZulu, ngoba ifundwa ikakhulu abantu abangamaZulu, ngakho-ke okushiwo kule mibhalo ngobutabane kuveza inqubo namasiko esiZulu engqubuzana nobutabane. Abazali babantwana abayizitabane emibhalweni ecwaningiwe balindele ukuthi abafana babo baganwe, bathole abantwana. Kanjalo nabamantombazane balindelwe ukuthi bayokwenda bafika bandise umuzi la begane khona. Ngokuka O’Donnell (1992:2) imizwa yakho yezocansi incike ekutheni uyakwazi ukuqaphela izinto ozithandayo, ezichaza ubuwena kanye nofisa ukuzenza ngenxa yendlela odalwe ngayo. Lolu cwaningo luthinta kakhulu izenzo zabazali balabo bantu abasha abaphumela obala ngobulili abathandana nabo. Okuchaza ukuthi u-O’ Donnell (1992) ugqamisa ukuthi laba abasha abaveza imizwa yabo basuke bengenandaba ukuthi abomndeni bazizwa kanjani ngalokho okuyimizwa yabo yezothando. Umcwaningi unokuthandabuza ephuzwini lika- O’Donell elingenhla lokuthi abanendaba nokuthi abantu bathini. Isizathu sokungavumelani naye ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi abayizitabane basuke beqhutshwa imizwa abanayo noma abayizwayo, hhayi ngoba bengenandaba. Lolu cwaningo lubheka izizathu ezenza umphakathi ungalwemukeli lolu hlobo lwempilo ikakhulukazi esizweni samaZulu njengoba kuvezwa abalingiswa bemibhalo ecwaningiwe. Kuzophawulwa nokwehluka kwemibhalo yesiZulu eshicilelwa manje kuleyo ebishicilelwa kungakabusi uhulumeni wentando yeningi. Imibhalo yesiZulu ibigxile kakhulu emasikweni nasemikhubeni yesizwe samaZulu, ngakho-ke izindikimba ezifana nale yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo beziseyindlala. Umcwaningi uzobheka nokuthi lezi zinqumo ezithathwa yilaba abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, zibaphatha kanjani abasondelene nabo. Ubuye futhi yena u-O’Donnell (1992:169) abalule okuthile ngesiko athi liwumgudu okufanele umntwana awulandele lo wokuthi uma umntwana kungowesifazane kulindeleke ukuthi agane, kanti uma kungowesilisa kulindeleke ukuthi athathe inkosikazi. Uyihlaba esikhonkosini-ke lapha oka-O’Donell ngoba siyakubona lokhu kungqubuzana emibhalweni ecwaningiwe ukuthi kudalwa yisiko elichazwa u-O’Donnell ngenhla. 5 Umcwaningi ubheke nezimo ezinzima abantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo ababhekana nazo kanye nobungozi obuvela ngenxa yokuphumela obala kwalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo obuvezwe emibhalweni ecwaningiwe. Kanti yena u-O’ Donnell (1992:2) ubeke wathi kuhle ukuhlukanisa ubuyena bomuntu, lokhu kwenza ahluke kwabanye, nezidingo zakhe, kanye nalokho okumlawulayo. Ubeka kahle uma ethi okumlawulayo, ngoba kwesinye isikhathi izitabane zisuke zingazenzi futhi ziyazenzisi kepha zenziswa imizwa ukuphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Kuyahlaluka ukuthi abalingiswa banezimo ezibaphoqayo, izidingo zabo, kanye nobubona obuhlukile okwenza bathathe izinqumo zokuphila impilo yokuthandana nabantu bobulili obufana nobabo. UNjilo (2014:3) esingenisweni socwaningo lwakhe yena uphawula athi: Ukhona yini oye akucabange ukuthi umuntu angazalwa abe nobulili obubili kodwa obunye bube obucashile bese kuthi ekhula bese bugqama lobu obucashile. Imvamisa abazali babantwana nodokotela abaze bangazihlupha ngalokho ngoba bazi ukuthi uma umuntu ezalwa uba nobulili obubodwa. Ngaleyo ndlela inkinga iqala lapho ngoba akuvamile umzali acabange ukuthi nakuba ingane eyizele ingumfana noma yintombazane, kusengenzeka ibe nobulili obubili obusobala nobucashile. Ukuhlaziya kanje kukaNjilo ocwaningweni lwakhe kugqamisa ukuthi akuvamile ukuthi umzali othole umntwana kungaba owentombazane noma owomfana acabange ukuthi umntwana wakhe angake azizwe engubulili azalwe engesibona. Lokhu kwenza sigqame kahle isimo ababhekene naso abazali balaba bantwana abangabalingiswa abasemibhalweni ecwaningiwe, Indlela abenza ngayo uma bethola ukuthi izingane zabo zithandana nobulili obufana nobazo, ziveza izimo ezinzima ababhekana nazo ngesimo esibehlelayo abangasilindele futhi abangakaze basicabange ezimpilweni zabo, okusho ukuthi uNjilo uyihlaba esikhonkosini. UReid (2013:275) uchaza athi: The celebrity status of some gay hairstylists is indicative of the way in which a hyper-feminine 6 persona can generate popularity and fame – in an economy, such as hairstyling. When it comes to hairstyles, they are experts. Emikhakheni iyonke abantu abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo basika ukhasi kowokucwala izinwele. Eqhuba uReid (2014) uthi umkhakha wokucwala izinwele yiwona lolu hlobo lwabantu olusakhululekile ukusebenza kuwo. Lokhu kuyavela enovelini ecwaningwayo ukuthi uMhlengi/ Mahlengi uvula indawo yokucwala izinwele ngenkathi esebuye eKapa ukuyoguqula ubulili, eseyisiphalaphala sentokazi. Okuchaza ukuthi kuyiqiniso lokhu okubekwa uReid ngomkhakha wokucwala izinwele nobutabane. Siselapho-nje emanovelini acwaningiwe, umcwaningi uthanda ukuveza ukuthi enovelini kaSibiya ethi, “Bengithi Lizokuna” umlingiswa osemqoka uMhlengi/ Mahlengi abanye bathi akangeni khaxa ohlotsheni lwabathandana nobulili obufanayo ngoba yena uyabuguqula ubulili abe owesifazane, kodwa umcwaningi ubona eyilo lolu hlobo ngoba inoveli iqala engumfana (uMhlengi) aguqule ubulili, ashintshe indawo ahlala kuyo, nepasi lakhe abe uMahlengi bonke abanye abalingiswa bengazi. Aqale impilo yakhe kabusha nabalingiswa abasha, nabo abangenalo ulwazi lokuthi wake waba umfana ngaphambilini. Lokhu kuwubufakazi bokuthi wazalwa engumfana kodwa yena wazizwa enemizwa yentombazane akangatshela muntu emndenini wakhe ukuthi uzizwa ngale ndlela. Wasebenza emva kokuqeda eMangosuthu wabekelela imali iminyaka emihlanu ukuze kube yiyona ayisebenzisela ukuguqula ubulili. Okuchaza ukuthi abafana abaningi abanesimo sikaMhlengi nabo bangaziguqula babe abesifazane, inkinga kungaba imali ngoba kuthiwa kumba eqolo. EkaMngadi yona inoveli nayo ecwaningiwe ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi” iveza abafanyana abahlala emgwaqeni abazaziyo ukuthi bangabafana kodwa abadayisa ngomzimba kubantu besilisa. Lokhu kuveza ukuphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo kodwa akuveli embhalweni ukuthi babebizwa ngezitabane noma izinkonkoni. Okwenza sibabuke njengazo izitabane ukuthi abadayiseli abesifazane ucansi kodwa badayisela amadoda afana nabo. Nakuba kule mpilo yalaba bafana kunemigomo yokuthi akusilo uthando kodwa wumsebenzi, okusemqoka ukuthi benzisa okwazo izitabane. 7 Ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe ukuthandana nobulili obufanayo bugqama buthi bha ngoba abalingiswa balimisa ngembaba ukuthi banemizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobabo. 1.2 Izinhloso zocwaningo Okuyiyona nhlosongqangi yalolu cwaningo ukuthola izizathu ezenza ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo bungamukeleki emiphakathini ngokwemibhalo ecwaningiwe. Lapha umcwaningi ubheka abalingiswa abangahambisani nale mpilo uma izingane zabo zibazisa ukuthi ziyayiphila. UPhelan kuJenali ka (2009) uthi inzondo ebhekiswe kubantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo isiyande kakhulu. Laba abaphila le mpilo bathi akufanele kugxekwe bona ngoba abazidalanga. Lolu cwaningo lubuye lunike izifundo noma izeluleko ezakhayo eziqondiswe kubafundi bemibhalo ecwaningiwe. Nabanye abantu abazofunda lolu cwaningo kukhona abangakuhlomula ngalolu hlobo lwempilo. Lolu cwaningo luhlole nokwehluka kweminyaka yabantu mayelana nokwamukela lolu hlobo lwempilo njengoba kuvezwe ngabalingiswa abasetshenziswe emibhalweni ecwaningiwe. Lubheke iminyaka yalabo abangafune nakuyizwa le ndaba yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo, lwabuye lwabheka neminyaka yalabo abaphumela obala ngale mpilo. Iqhaza elibanjwe yisiko lokugana nokuganana eliwumgogodla ekutheni abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo bangamukeleki nalo licwaningiwe. Okunye okubhekwe yilolu cwaningo yizinselelo zabaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, kanye Indaba Emfushane Umlingiswa onemizwa yobutabane Umhlaba Ushingile UBafana Oqotsheni UThabile no- Ayanda Impohlo UThemba Ngeke USabelo Amalungelo UThabani 8 nokuthi lesi sinqumo abasithathile sokuthandana nobulili obufanayo sizilimaza kanjani izimpilo zalabo balingiswa abasondelene nabo. UNjilo (2014:11) ukhuluma ngengcindezi ababhekana nayo laba abathandana nobulili obufanayo bengakaphumeli obala. Uthi: Abanye baye bafise ukuphumela obala kodwa babuye besatshiswe ukuthi bazothi bangaphumela obala bese benziwa isilo sengubo beshaywe okanye bathukwe ngezinhlamba. Kuye kubenzima ngisho ukutshela abantu abasondelene nabo ngoba basuke bengazi ukuthi uma bezwa ngesimo sabo ngeke yini bahambe befafaza izindaba ngabo. Kuliqiniso elingephikwe lokhu okushiwo uNjilo ukuthi le mpilo iyabalimaza kakhulu abayiphilayo ngenkathi kusengumzwangedwa kubona. Nakho ukuphumela obala kwabanye abalingiswa akuyixazululi inkinga yokungaganwa kwabo kodwa kuchitheka gula linamasi, kudale izilonda ezingapholi emalungeni emindeni yabo ikakhulukazi abazali babo. Izinhloso zalolu cwaningo ukuveza zonke lezo zingxenye zempilo yabalingiswa bemibhalo ecwaningiwe. 1.3 Izindlela zokwenza ucwaningo Lolu cwaningo lusebenzise ikhwalithethivu okuyindlela ehambisanayo nokucwaningwayo ngoba lolu hlobo lubheka imicabango, izimvo, ukwenza namasiko abantu abawasebenzisa endleleni yabo yokuphila. Uhlaziyomibhalo luhamba phambili uma kuhlaziywa imibhalo. Akukho muntu ophila le mpilo yobutabane okuxoxixwane naye kulolu cwaningo njengoba ligcile emabhukwini kuphela. Ocwaningweni lwezenzo zabantu abasetshenziswe njengabalingiswa, umcwaningi uhlaziye umbhalo ngamunye wabheka ukuthi ngabe zenzo zini ezethulwa umbhali ngabalingiswa abasebenzisile. Umcwaningi ubuye wabheka nohlobo lwabantu abethulwa umbhali egxile esizweni samaZulu, nokuthi kungabe baveza imibono yokuhambelana noma yokuphikisana nale mpilo yobutabane. Ubuye wabheka negalelo lemfundo kubalingiswa, wahlaziya ukuthi inawo yini umthelela ekubeni izitabane, kanjalo neminyaka yabo yobudala. Umcwaningi ubheke nendawo abahlala kuyo labo balingiswa nezinye izizathu eziholela ekubukeni ubutabane ngaleyo ndlela abethulwe ngayo. 9 ULeedy (2010:137) echaza lolu hlobo lwempilo uthi: Homosexuality is about citizens who live their lives differently. ULeedy (2010) uma esho kanje ugcizelela khona ukuthi izitabane ziyafana nabathandana nobulili obungafani, umehluko ukuthi zona zithanda ubulili obufana nobazo. Ngalokho uqonde ukuthi ziphila impilo engajwayelekile, yiwona mehluko ezinawo. Ikwalithethivu njengoba ivumbulula amaqiniso enjengoba enjalo futhi igxile ezenzweni nasezinkolelweni zezizwe ezahlukene, uLeedy uthi abanale mizwa bayakwazi ukuzichaza ukuthi bangobani futhi bazizwa kanjani ngoba ikhona into abayizwayo emizimbeni yabo ekhomba ukuthi bahlukile ebulilini abazalwe beyibo. Uthi okunye okuhle ngale ndlela yocwaningo ukuthi kuhlanganiswa amaphuzu atholakele kwakhiwe umqulu onemikhuba yabantu ngalokho abakholelwa kukho. Ephawula ngekhwalithethivu uGreenstein (2003:49) kanye naku: 52 uthi: This research method is well suited for the study of attitude and behaviours in their natural setting, the focus is on being naturalistic – reflect a concern with the normal course of events and the importance placed by qualitative researchers on being as non-intrusive, non-manipulative and non-controlling as possible. Okubekwa uGreenstein (2003) ngekhwalithethivu ukuthi ihlaziya imicabango nemidlinzo yabantu eholela ezenzweni zabo, abakholelwa ukuthi imvelo yabo ebaphoqa ukuthi bazenze. Uthi le ndlela iyakuphoqa ukuba ubhale lokho okungamaqiniso, awukwazi ukudidiyela nemibono yakho njengomcwaningi. Aqhube athi kuGreenstein (2003:52): The goal of this research method is to try and capture what is happening (homosexuality) without being judgemental, present people on their own terms, and convey their feelings and experiences from their own perspectives. UGreenstein (2003) ngenhla uthi ikhwalithethivu indlela yomcwaningi ebuka imvelo nemvelaphi yenkolelo neqhaza enalo ekwakheni inqubo yaleso sizwe. Njengoba umcwaningi engafakanga uvo lwakhe kulolu cwaningo kepha uhlaziye ukwenza kwabalingiswa emibhalweni ayihluzile, ufakazela lokhu okushiwo uGreenstein ukuthi awahluleli kulolu 10 hlobo locwaningo kodwa uholwa imicabango nemibono yabalingiswa egxile kulokho abakholelwa kukho. Njengoba yena uGreenstein (2003) enza isibonelo sabo ubutabane uthi kule ndlela yokucwaninga umcwaningi akahluleli, abantu ubethula ngalokho abayikona, imizwa yabo, izingqinamba asebeke bahlangabezana nazo, konke ukwethule ngendlela bona abazizwa ngayo. Lolu hlobo lokwenza ucwaningo lungene khaxa kulolu cwaningo lobutabane ngoba konke umcwaningi akucwaningile kuyimizwa yalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo, indlela abenza ngayo izinto nendlela abazizwa ngayo. NgokukaMathewman (2007:40) uthi le ndlela yokwenza ucwaningo eyikhwalithethivu isiza kakhulu ngoba: (i) Ithombulula inqubo elandelwayo. (ii) Ipeketula obekufihlakele nokungalindelekile okungagcina sekwethule ulwazi olusha. (iii) Ihumusha izinhlelo nemigudu elandelwa imiphakathi ngamasiko awo. (iv) Ibeka uvo, yehlulele ekufanekiseni naseqinisweni. (v) Iveza ukujula kokuhlolwa kwezimo imiphakathi ephila ngaphansi kwazo. Lokhu okushiwo uMathewman (2007) kungumgogodla walolu cwaningo ngoba luzokwethula izinqubo zabathandana nobulili obufanayo. Izimfihlo abanaso ngalolu hlobo lwempilo, nokushayisana kwayo namasiko, nokungezwani emindenini nasemiphakathini kube umnyombo walolu cwaningo. Kulolu cwaningo umcwaningi ubheka izizathu zokungemukeleki kwalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo emibhalweni ayikhethile, abuye athole nezindlela ezingasiza ekufundiseni imiphakathi ngokwamukelwa kwalaba abaphila le mpilo ethathela kokwenziwa abalingiswa emibhalweni ecwaningiwe. Zikhona izifundo amalungu omphakathi angazifunda ngobutabane. Umcwaningi ubone kuyilaba abazozuza kakhulu ngalolu cwaningo:  Abaphila le mpilo yobutabane.  Abazali babantwana abayizitabane.  Izinhlobo nemindeni yabo.  Umphakathi kanye nesizwe sonkana. 11 Ngenkathi umcwaningi enza lolu cwaningo ubuye wabheka nezinselelo ababhekana nazo abathandana nobulili obufanayo, kanye nomthelela lezi zinqumo zokuthandana nobulili obufanayo ezinawo kubantu abasondelene nalaba balingiswa abaphila le mpilo. Lapha umcwaningi usebenzisa indlela yokucwaninga okuqukethwe ngesizathu sokuthi angeke axoxe nabantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo, ngokuhlonipha ilungelo labo, kanye nezimfihlo ngempilo yabo. Nantu uhlelo olulandelwe umcwaningi kulo msebenzi: 1.3.1 Ukufunda imibhalo ecwaningwayo. 1.3.2 Ukuyihluza ngokubheka indikimba yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. 1.3.3 Ukubuka izenzo zabalingiswa ngokweminyaka yabo yobudala. Lapha kuzohlukaniswa phakathi kwalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo kanye nalabo abayizihlobo nabangani babo. 1.3.4 Ukuhlaziya izihloko zemibhalo ecwaningwayo ukuthi zihambelana kanjani nendikimba. 1.3.5 Ukuhlaziya umthelela wezinqumo ezithathwe abathandana nobulili obufanayo empilweni yabantu abasondelene nabo. 1.3.6 Ukubheka iqhaza elithathwe isizinda, ekuvezeni le ndikimba yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Imibuzo ebuzwe yilolu cwaningo iphendulwe ngokusebenzisa imibhalo yobuciko ekhethiwe, alukho olunye ulwazi olwethekelwe kubantu noma kubabhali bayo le mibhalo. Imibono ebhalwe ngasemaphethelweni ocwaningo lonke, ingeyomcwaningi uqobo. Lokhu okushiwo uLeedy kuyafakazelwa izenzo zomlingiswa osemqoka uMhlengi/Mahlengi enovelini kaSibiya (2008:13) lapho achaza khona ukuthi uMhlengi wayekholelwa kangakanani kule mizwa ayenayo, eyayifana nephupho leminyaka elabe selizofezeka njengoba lo mbhalo uqala esenze wonke amalungiselelo okuyoguqula ubulili bakhe eKapa. Kuyahambisana nemibono kaLeedy (2010) ngoba uMhlengi wayeselwenzile ucwaningo mayelana nokuguqulwa kobulili wethekela nolwazi ku-inthanethi mayelana nalolu hlobo 12 lokuhlinzwa waze wafunda nangabanye abantu ababebhalile besho ukuthi basizakale kanjani (Sibiya 2008:12). Ukuqoqwa kolwazi kanye namaphuzu ngempilo yabantu abayizitabane kuyosiza kakhulu ekufundiseni imiphakathi ngalolu hlobo lwempilo njengoba kuyimpilo engakemukeleki kahle emiphakathini eminingi. Ucwaningo njengoba lungagxilile emikhubeni nasezinqubeni eziqhutshwa umphakathi umcwaningi uzoqoba amaqatha aqalazayo emikhubeni kodwa agxilise ucwaningo kokwenziwa abalingiswa ngokungalandeli inqubo njengokuphawula kukaGreenstein. KuSibiya (2008:25) uMhlengi akaguqulwa isimo sakhe sangaphandle somzimba kuphela okungubuso, ikhala, izihlathi, isilevu kanye negilo, kodwa kusetshenziswa namahomoni (hormones) athile ukuze kumile amabele kanye nezinye izicubu zomzimba ezivame kubantu besifazane. Umcwaningi ubalula lokhu nje yingoba noMngadi (2012:29) unomlingiswa onguNkosana othi uhambe ekhaya wazohlala emgwaqeni ngoba uyise ubengafune nakuyizwa nje le ndaba yakhe yokuthandana nabantu besilisa. Kuyavela nakuNtombela (2004:29) uBafana uqunga isibindi amethule kubazali bakheuLindelani njengomuntu asethathe isinqumo sokushada naye. KuSibiya (2007:16) endabeni emfushane ethi, “Ngeke”, uSabelo wethula uThemba Shange kubazali bakhe njengomlingani wakhe asehlose ukuhlala naye impilo yonke. Bonke laba balingiswa bazidela amathambo ngenxa yento abakholelwa kuyona abacabanga ukuthi iyimvelo kubo angeke bakwazi ukuyiguqula. UGreenstein (2003:49) uqhuba athi ikhwalithethivu iyindlela ekuphoqayo ukuthi ubhale lokho okungamaqiniso, awukwazi ukudidiyela imibono yakho njengomcwaningi. Kunjalo ngempela, umcwaningi angeke ahlawumbisele ngobunjalo kanye nokwakheka komzimba wabalingiswa abaphila impilo yobutabane kodwa ucaphuna okushiwo ngabo emibhalweni ecwaningwayo. USibiya (2008:14) uchaza uMhlengi njengomfana onebala elikhanyayo, oyiqhathanzipho, unobuso obunesikhumba esithambile, esibushelelezi. Esilevini yayingakaze imile intshebe, nehwanqa engenalo. Okuchaza ukuthi njengokusho kukaSibiya, uma ezibuka esibukweni naye uMhlengi akabuboni lobu bulisa ayibo, kepha uzibonela intombazane eyajika endleleni. 13 KuMngadi (2012:30) uNkosana uguqulwa igama abe uNkosazana, afakwe amacici, apendwe nomlomo ukuze abe isiphalaphala sentokazi lesi athi uzizwa eyiso. Njengoba umcwaningi engafakanga uvo lwakhe kulolu cwaningo kepha ehlaziya ukwenza kwabalingiswa emibhalweni ayihluzayo, efakazela okushiwo uGreenstein (2003:52) kokuthi awahluleli kulolu hlobo locwaningo kodwa uholwa imicabango nemibono yabalingiswa egxile kulokho abakholelwa kukho. Le ndlela yokucwaninga eyikhwalithethivu umcwaningi uyibona ishaya emhlolweni impela, ingena khaxa ohlotsheni locwaningo alwenzayo. 1.4 Injulalwazi ephathelene nobutabane Umphakathi uba nenqubo ethile oyilandelayo njengesizwe. Uma kukhona abenza okuphambene naleyo nqubo bahlahlelwa amehlo ngoba bathathwa njengabantu asebelahle amasiko nobuzwe babo. Injulalwazi esetshenziswe kulolu cwaningo ithiyori yobutabane (Queer Theory). Ingqikithi yale njulalwazi ukwehluka kwempilo yabathandana nobulili obufana nobabo, okuchaza ukuthi ibheka ukwenza into ehlukile kuleyo eyenziwa abanye abantu. Ku-Allan (2005:3) ethula injulalwazi yobutabane uthi: Have you ever thought that you and your parents live in separate worlds? Your parents may listen to your favourite band and say, “Why are they screaming? That’s not even music.” They might point to the “beautiful voice” of their favourite singer and tell you, “Now that’s the way singing is supposed to sound: that’s music. In other words we never directly experience the world: we encounter it through our perspective. Echaza ngenhla u-Allan (2005) uthi thina nabazali bethu siphila emihlabeni emibili ehlukene. Uze afakazele lokhu ngomzekeliso womculo, lapho athi uma umfanyana oyibhungu ecula iculo elimhlaba umxhwele, kuzwakale umzali ememeza sakuthetha ebuza ukuthi nhloboni yomculo le esingaze imsanganise umfana? Kanjalo nakumfana yiso sona leso uma elalele umculo othandwa abazali bakhe kuthi akavale izindlebe zakhe ngoba akezwa bumnandi. 14 Uqhubeka achaze ukuthi kuya ngokuthi uzwani, ubonani futhi ume kuphi. Ngokuma uchaza imizwa oyizwa ngaphakathi hhayi isimo somzimba wakho ngaphandle. Le njulalwazi iyakuveza futhi ukuthi usikompilo luthi, ukuze ukholwe noma ube nobuqiniso bento akudingi ukuthi uyithinte noma uyizwe. Kholwa yilokho okushiwo asebeke bayibona noma bayizwa leyo nto. U-Allan (2005:4) ubuye akhulume nangendalo yomuntu lapho athi ukudalwa kwabantu bungezindlela ezahlukene. Lapha ubalula ukuthi abantu bacabanga ngezindlela ezingafani, baqonda imvelo nempilo ngezindlela ezingafani okuholela ekutheni nezenzo zabo zingafani. Le njulalwazi yeyeme kakhulu ocwaningweni olwenziwa umcwaningi ngoba lolu cwaningo lugxile ekuhlukeni kwabantu ngokuzikhethela indlela engajwayelekile engeyokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. U-Appelrouth (2011:2) ephawula ngayo le njulalwazi uthi: Our behaviours are not the product of any one principle: instead, they can be driven interest, altruism, loyalty, passion, tradition, or habit, to name but a few factors. Uchaza ukuthi izenzo zabantu zincike ezintweni eziningi eziyindlela abazinqumele yona ekuphileni impilo yabo. Uchaza athi indlela aphila ngayo ingaqhutshwa ukuyithanda leyo mpilo, ukuthembeka, imizwa, isiko noma umkhuba awejwayele. Uze enze isibonelo ngomdwebo athi uma wazi kabanzi ngemidwebo kuningi okubonayo kanti ngakolunye uhlangothi lowo ongazi ngemidwebo angeke abone lutho kulowo mdwebo bese kuba sengathi lo owaziyo ngemidwebo uphanjanelwa ikhanda. Nakuyo imibhalo ecwaningiwe abalingiswa abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufana nobabo bazi futhi bezwa okuthile okungaziwa futhi okungezwiwa yilabo abangaphili le mpilo. Umzekeliso womculo nalowo womdwebo yomibili iyamene nemizwa okuyiyona nsika yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Emibhalweni ehlaziywayo kuvela izingqinamba nezinselelo zalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo okuyindikimba yayo le mibhalo. Ucwaningo lubheka nezimo abaphila ngaphansi kwazo labo bantu abangahambisani nokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Ngakho-ke injulalwazi ethinta ukuhluka kwabantu kwabanye iyahambisana nalolu cwaningo. Udaba lobutabane udaba olubucayi kakhulu, lunjalo nje luthinta imindeni, izithandani, imiphakathi kanye nesizwe jikelele. Ababhali abaningi bebeyishalazela le ndikimba 15 ngezizathu zabo ezehlukene. Okunye obekudala lokho amasiko kanye nendlela esikhuliswe ngayo ikakhulukazi thina maZulu, lolu hlobo lwempilo alungeni khaxa esintwini. Ezinye zezizathu zalokhu kungayizwa kahle le ndaba yobutabane ukuthi ubutabane bunomthelela ekwehlukaniseni kwabagcagcile, ukuxabana kwemindeni ingaphinde ingenelane kanye nokuzikhunga kwalabo abangamukeleki emindenini yabo uma sebephumele obala. Le njulalwazi iyayiveza nemibuzo ethile ngokuhluka kwemvelo noma kokudalwa kwabantu ukuthi: • Izinto eziwumgogodla wesizwe ngabe azilimali yini ngenxa yokwehluka? • Ukwehluka kunamthelela muni ezinqunyweni abantwana abangazithatha ezingagcina zinemiphumela engemihle ezimpilweni zabo, emindenini yabo, kanye nasemiphakathini abayakhele. • Yini esingafundisana yona ngokwahluka kokudalwa nokubheka izindlela esikhulisa ngayo abantwana bethu? Singabhekana kanjani nezinkinga ezifana nezifo ezidala ukuthi izingane zikhule ngaphandle kwabazali, ukwehlukanisa kwabazali ingane ikhule nomzali oyedwa, nokunye okungaba nomthelela ekwandeni kwabantu abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo. • Ekwakheni nasekubulaleni ikusasa labantwana bethu ngendlela abaziphatha ngayo uma bekhula ngenxa yokuthi sebekufake kakhulu emqondweni ukuthi behlukile. Le njulalwazi njengoba ikhuluma ngokwehluka kwemvelo okusho ukuthi udalwe awangafana nabanye ithi ayiwudide umqondo womntwana osakhula ngoba uyezwa nje kukhulunywa ngokwahluka kodwa akazi ukuthi yena uhluke ngani kwabanye. Useyoyifuna-ke le nto ahluke ngayo agcine esegcobhoza kuzo zonke iziziba zempilo ezama ukuzithola ubuyena, ngoba unale nto yokuthi uhlukile, kwezinye angene kwesikaMaminzela kube nzima ukuphuma. Abaqambi bale njulalwazi abafana naye u-Allan baveza nokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi umntwana enze amaphutha enziwa yizo zonke izingane ngesikhathi zizithungatha. Uphinde abalule neqhaza labazali ekukhuliseni abantwana ngendlela eyiyo ukuze bakwazi ukuzazi noma ukuzithola ukuthi bangobani. Kunendawo yomuntu ngamunye kulo mhlaba ukuze akwazi ukuhlala ngokukhululeka ngokungacwaswa noma engabandlululwa. 16 Ngenkathi ephawula ngalokhu kwehluka u-Allan ukwenza kugqame ukuthi uma wehlukile angeke uhambe uxoxela wonke umuntu ukuthi wehluke ngani, kuba ukwazi kwakho wedwa futhi uyaye ungathandi ukukugqamisa ngoba abanye abantu bangakuthatha njengokuzenza ngcono. Nakho ukuzenza ngcono lokho bakubona ngoba bona bengazizwa ngendlela wena ozizwa ngayo. Akekho umuntu onekhono lokuchazela omunye umuntu imizwa yakhe lo ochazelwayo agcine eyizwe njengalo ochazayo into echazwayo, ngakho imizwa ingumzwangedwa. 1.5 Ukuhlelwa kwezahluko Lolu cwaningo lunezahluko eziyisithupha Isahluko Sokuqala - Isethulo socwaningo Lesi sahluko singenisa ucwaningo, lapho umcwaningi aveza khona izizathu nentshisekelo yokwenza lolu cwaningo. Okunye okuvelayo izinhloso zomcwaningi ngalo msebenzi wakhe, lapho okugqama khona nabantu abazozuza ngalolu cwaningo. Kuso lesi sahluko umcwaningi wethula nezindlela enze ngazo ucwaningo kanye nezincazelo zamagama awasebenzisile kulolu cwaningo, kugcine ukuphetha isahluko. Isahluko 2 - Ukubuyekezwa kwemibhalo Lesi sahluko sihlaziya eminye imibhalo ekhuluma ngale ndikimba yokuthandana kwabanobulili obufanayo. Lapha kuhlukanisiwe imibhalo eyiphrozi, kanye nemiqulu esishicilelwe. Kulesi sahluko kubhekwa okufanayo kule mibhalo kuqhathaniswa nemibhalo ecwaningiwe. Nalokho okungefani kule mibhalo umcwaningi uyakuhlaziya. Lapha kuhlukaniswa nemibhalo leyo engamaphrozi ukuthi imveza eluhlobo luni umlingiswa lowo, ngoba impilo yobutabane yehlukene kanje: (i) Umfana ophila njengentombazane (ii) Intombazane ephila njengomfana (iii) Othandana nabo bobubili ubulili 17 (iv) Oguqula ubulili, njalo njalo. Kulesi sahluko kubuye kubhekwe neminye imibhalo esike yashicilelwa ekhuluma ngabantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Kukhona abantu esiphila nabo asebephumele obala ngempilo yabo, okubhalwa ngabo emaphephandabeni, kulesi sahluko sizobheka nokushiwo amaphephandaba namaphephabhuku ngabo, nangomphakathi jikelele mayelana nale ndikimba yokuthandana kwabanobulili obufanayo. Isahluko 3 - Injulalwazi ephathelene nalesi sihloko Lesi sahluko sigxile kuthiyori yobutabane ehambisana nale ndikimba yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo umcwaningi aveze ukweyamana kwayo nemibhalo ecwaningiwe. Kulezi zinjulalwazi kubhekwa indlela umphakathi obaphatha ngayo laba bantu, nabo uqobo kubuye kubhekwe indlela abaziphatha ngayo, izimo ababhekana nazo, kanjalo nomphakathi izimo obhekana nazo ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Njengoba le njulalwazi yeyeme emphakathini, ibuye iye esizindeni somphakathi okungumndeni, lapho labo abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo basuka khona. Izimo ezibazungezile nazo ziyahlaziywa kule njulalwazi, okungukuthi bazalwa emindenini enabazali abaphelele, (umama nobaba basaphila na?), bangabantu abanjani bona abazali, bazikhulisa kanjani izingane zabo, ngabe balandela amasiko? Nokuthi bahlala endaweni enjani nokunye. Isahluko 4 – Ucwaningo lwabathandana nobulili obufanayo emanovelini acwaningiwe Lesi sahluko sigxile enovelini kaMngadi ethi Bayeza Abanqobi nekaSibiya ethi Bengithi Lizokuna umcwaningi ebheka izimo eziholela ekuphileni le mpilo nomthelela le mpilo enawo kubantu abasondelene nalaba asebephumele obala. Kuzovela nezinkinga abalingiswa abahlangabezana nazo empilweni eziholela ekuthandaneni kobulili obufanayo. Ahlaziywa ngokuhlukana amanoveli lapha, umcwaningi ebheka inoveli ngayinye nezimo ezihambisana nezenzo zabalingiswa abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Lapha kubhekwa okwethulwa umbhali ngabalingiswa abaphila le mpilo kubuye kuhlaziywe imicabango nezenzo zabo abalingiswa. Amalunga omndeni wabathandana nobulili obufanayo nawo kuyabhekwa ukucabanga kwawo ngale ndikimba njengoba kuvezwa emibhalweni. 18 Isahluko 5 – Ucwaningo lwabathandana nobulili obufanayo ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe Lesi sahluko sigxile ezindabeni ezimfishane ezinhlanu ezikhethelwe lolu cwaningo ezinale ndikimba yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Kulesi sahluko kuhlaziywa nomthelela wale mpilo kubantu abasondelene nalabo asebenqume ukuba yizitabane. Nazi lezi zindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe: • Umhlaba Ushingile • Oqotsheni • Impohlo • Ngeke • Amalungelo Lapha umcwaningi uhlaziya indaba emfishane ngayinye ebheka bonke abalingiswa abathintekayo endikimbeni yobutabane eyethulwa indaba emfishane.Kuso lesi sahluko namalunga emindeni yalaba abaphumele obala nayo iyahlaziywa. Umcwaningi ubuye aveze namaphuzu avezwa yindaba emfushane ngayinye kulezo ezicwaningiwe. Lawa maphuzu asonga okuzuzwe emanovelini nasezindabeni ezimfishane ngobutabane. Isahluko 6 -Isihlaziyo, izincomo nesiphetho Kulesi sahluko kufingqwe izahluko zonke ngokulandelana kwazo. Umcwaningi uvumbulule nezinye izihloko ezingacwaningwa ezihambelana nendikimba yobutabane. Ekusongeni ucwaningo kuphoswa inselelo kuwo wonke umuntu ukuze kuhlwayelwe ulwazi ngale mpilo yobutabane. 1.6 Ukuchazwa Kwamagama 1.6.1 Ubutabane UMazibuko (2008:1) uthi: Uma sikhuluma ngobutabane noma ubungqingili kushiwo umuntu wesilisa othandana nowesilisa noma umuntu wesifazane othandana nomunye wesifazane. 19 Maningi-ke amagama abantu abawasebenzisayo njengoba uMazibuko eveza amabili nje adumile ababizwa ngawo labo abaphila le mpilo, abanye bababiza ngezinkonkoni noma ongqingili. Isichazamazwi sesiNgisi i-Oxford (2011:218) sithi ubutabane: Is to be sexually attracted to people of your own sex. Isichazamazwi sithi ubutabane ukuba nemizwa yezothando yobulili obufana nobakho, okungukuthi uma ungowesilisa uba nemizwa yothando yowesilisa, kanti uma ungowesifazane uba nemizwa yothando yobulili besifazane. UNjilo (2013:1) uyabahlukanisa njengokubizwa kwabo, ubhala athi ama gaysabesilisa abathandana bodwa, kanti ama lesbians abesifazane abathandana bodwa. Kule mibhalo ezohlaziywa kuyavela nokwehluka kwabesilisa abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo kanye nabesifazane abathandana nobulili obufanayo. UPhelan (1997:58) uthi: There’s certain amount of overlap in sexual practice between the catergories “lesbians” and “bisexual women”; this overlap might be presented by examples of a lesbian who sleeps with men on occasion and a bisexual woman who is monogamous with her woman lover. Ubutabane bowesifazane othandana nowesifazane abuye athande owesilisa uPhelan (1997) ngenhla ukuhumusha njengesimo esinobudlelwano obumatene noma obutetene. Lapha ngenhla uPhelan uyakuveza ukuthi owesifazane oyisitabane angabuye alale nabesilisa, kodwa ebe eyiso. Uchaza athi bakhona nabathandana nabo bobabili ubulili, kepha bazinqumele ukugxila kulobo bulili ababukhethile. Echaza ubutabane besifazane uqhuba athi: A lesbian is a woman who only fucks other woman. That would include bi women who’re monogamously involved with other woman. A woman who does n’t fuck men? That would include celibate straight women. A woman who would never get seriously involved with men? Rules out lesbians who’ve been married in the past. A woman 20 who never has sexual thoughts about men? That excludes dykes who are into heavy and complex gender play, who get off on gay men’s porn, or who are maybe just curious, (Phelan, 1997:59) Echaza lapha uPhelan (1997) uthi kwabesifazane abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo kunezinhlobo eziningi lapho athi kukhona:  Abangathandani nobulili obufana nobabo futhi abangazihlanganisi nabesilisa.  Abathandana nabanye besifazane.  Abazanelisa ngokubuka amabhayisikobho abesilisa abanenezana bodwa.  Abazenelisa ngokushaya indlwabi basebenzise nezitho ezixhunywayo nezisetshenziswa ngesandla ukuzigculisa bona uqobo lwabo. Nakuyo le mibhalo ecwaningwayo kuyavela lapho imizwa yomlingiswa eba yizinto eziningi kuye ngesimo asithandayo ngaleso sikhathi. Enovelini ecwaningiwe ethi “Bayeza Abanqobi” abafana laba abalala nabesilisa emgwaqweni yasePhoyinti uma bethuke bezithela kowesifazane naye abamyeki bayamdlwengula. Lokhu kufakazela okushiwo uPhelan ngenhla ukuthi kuya ngesimo umuntu akuso ngaleso sikhathi sokuthi ufisa buphi ubulili. Okunye okudala lokho kule mibhalo ukuthi ezinye izitabane zisuke zesaba ukuphumela obala, bese zenza sengathi ziyathandana nobulili obuhlukile kanti zifihle induku emqubeni. 1.6.2 Imizwa yocansi Uthi umuzwa wothando uyehluka kumuntu nomuntu, akusiyo into engethwaswa noma iqagelwe omunye umuntu ngokubona ubulili bese ecabanga ukuthi lowo mfana kufanele athande intombi, noma leyo ntombi kufanele ithande insizwa (Bieber, 1996:207) Kanti uMaddison (2000:65) yena uthi ukulangazelela ucansi akuyona into ezimele esiqhingini nje, kodwa kulawulwa ubumnandi okuyinjabulo umuntu ayizwayo yena yedwa okungaba nzima ukuyichazela omunye umuntu. Lobo bumnandi bocansi buyawudunga umqondo wokuthi kukhona obunye ubumnandi bocansi obudlula lobo osuke wabuzwa noma obaziyo. Ngalokho uchaza ukuthi uvele ucabange ukuthi abukho ubumnandi obedlula lobu wena owake wabuzwa, kanti akunjalo. Okufakazela lokhu akushoyo ukuthi vele ucansi 21 olokujabulisana hhayi ukuthola abantwana. Uma kwenzekile nathi nijabulisana kwavela abantwana kulungile lokho kodwa ucansi alungathathwa njengengqikithi yokuthola abantwana. UMaddison ufisa ucansi luthathwe njengokudla kwemizwa, njengoba umculo ungukudla komphefumulo. 1.6.3 Imizwa yobulili UBieber (1996:89) uchaza athi imizwa yobulili yilokho umuntu akuzwa ngaphakathi okumtshelayo ukuthi ngakube ungumfana noma uyintombazane. Lapha ososayensi bachaza ukuthi akuzona izitho zangasese ezichaza ubulili ukuthi umntwana ungumfana noma uyintombazane. Lokhu okushiwo uBieber (1996) kuyafakazeleka uma umama ethole umntwana, umbona ngaso isitho sangasese umntwana ukuthi umntwana muni. Ngaleso sikhathi akwenzeki umama akucabange ukuthi umntwana wakhe angaba isitabane. Okwenza umzali acabange kanje ukuthi: • Akulula ukubona ukuthi umntwana uyisitabane uma esemncane. • Izingubo agqokiswa zona umntwana ziba nombala ohambisana nobulili bakhe. UWoodward (2000:57) yena uchaza imizwa yobulili ngezenzo zomntwana esemncane engakafiki ebangeni lokukhula. Uthi kuzifikela kuyena ngaphakathi ukuthi aziyamanise nobulili obuthize ngaphandle kokuthi kube khona umuntu omtshelayo ukuthi ungumfana noma uyintombazane. Uthi ziningi izindlela zokubona ubulili obukhethwa ingane, izinto edlala ngazo, indlela ehamba noma ekhuluma ngayo, nezimpahla zokugqoka nokunye. Uze abalule ukuthi uma inakekela kakhulu abanye, ikhombisa ubufazane kanti uma ikhonze ukudlalisa abanye kabuhlungu ikhombisa ubulisa. Uqhubeka athi indaba yobulili ijule kakhulu ngoba uma umntwana esekhethile lobo bulili azibona eyibo, usuke esefake amahhanisi, okungukuthi kunzima ukumguqula umqondo. UFrancis kuWoodward (2000:59) uthi kufanele abantwana basebenze ngokuzikhandla ekwakheni nasekugcineni ubulili babo, kodwa phezu kwalokho akungabi ukuthi sebezibophezele kulokho abakukhethile, awashiywe amathuba engeziwe okuguquka kwasebekukhethile. Ngalokhu uchaza ukuthi ubulili asebukhethile abungabi isimbelambela, umntwana angabe esakwazi ukuguqula umqondo ngobulili bakhe uma ethanda. 22 UMaddison (2000:68) uthi: Sexual difference does not describe or constitute gender but rather inscribes maleness and measures womanhood as the distance from that maleness and as a function of it. Ebeka uthi kunzima ukukala ubude obuveza umehluko phakathi kokuba owesilisa nokuba ngowesifazane ngoba kugcina kubhekwa umsebenzi wobulili kungabhekwaukuthi ubufazane noma ubulisa buyini. 1.6.4 Oncukumbili Abantu abayilolu hlobo ngokuchaza kukaBieber (1996:309) bazizwa benemizwa yobudlelwano babesilisa nabesifazane. Indlela abazibiza ngayo bathi bangama double adapter okungukuthi badla nxazombili, kuye ngokuthi bathanda luphi uhlobo ngaleso sikhathi. Ngokwencazelo kaDent (1969:22) uthi: Uncukumbili ukuba nabo bobubili ubulili besilisa nobesifazane esilwaneni noma embalini. Nasemibhalweni ecwaningwayo kuyabonakala abalingiswa abangabafana beveza imizwa yokuba amantombazane, kanjalo nabangamantombazane beveza imizwa yokuba abafana, lokhu okusho ukuthi banemizwa yabo bobubili ubulili. UDuPree (2002:87) ukhala ngempicabadala okwamanje esabahlula ngisho ochwepheshe bezesayensi ukuyixazaulula, le yokuthi zikhona zombili izitho zangasese eziveza ukuthi umuntu uphakathi nendawo, akasiye owesifazane ngokugcwele, kodwa futhi akasiye owesilisa ngokugcwele. Lapha uze aveze nokuthi enye ingane ayibi nazo lezi zitho zombili zibonakale kodwa uzwa abantu beyibuka ebusweni bese becabanga ukuthi yenziwa noma izenza ubulili engesibona. Kulokhu ubala ukuthi umntwana womfana abe nobuso obubushelelezi, obuthambile nezihlathi ezigcwele angamilwa ngisho nangamadevu nentshebe njengoMhlengi, (Sibiya 2008:14) UChristina kuPhelan (1997:59) uthi: “For me, being bi means mostly like to fuck women, and also like to fuck men’, meaning that she’s 23 attracted to both men and women regardless of who she is or is n’t humping. Lapha ngenhla uphawula uthi ubutabane nobuncukumbili okunye kuyagaxela kokunye, okungukuthi omunye umuntu uke uthole ukuthi uthanda ubulili obungafaninobakhe, abuye athandane nobulili obufana nobakhe. UPhelan (1997) uthi le ngxubevange eyenziwa imizwa yomuntu oyedwa iveza ukuthi lobu bulili bobubili bukhona kuwo wonke umuntu, ukuthi obunezimpawu eziningi bugqiba obunezimpawu ezincane. Kwesinye isikhathi abantu bake bathi kukhona ukuba “bi” lapho baqonde ukuthi akakhethile uthanda abesilisa, abuye athande nabesifazane. Kanti ochaza ubuncukumbili athi: In the current sexual and gendered imagination, bisexuality is always the middle ground between sexes, genders and sexualities, rather than being asexuality, or indeed a gender or sex in itself (Hemming, 2002:2) Ekhuluma ngabo uHemming (2002) uthi bungubulilli obuphakathi nendawo kwesilisa nesifazane. Ukuchaza njengesimo sokuba sesidididini uma ngaleso sikhathi uthanda ubulili obufana nobakho kwenzeke futhi waneliseke, kanjalo uma uzwa unemizwa yobulili obuhlukile kwenzeke futhi waneliseke. Lolu hlobo oluchazwa uHemming ngenhla lukhona ngempela. Lokho ngikusho ngoba omunye umuntu uke uthole ukuthi uganiwe unonkosikazi nabantwana, kodwa futhi abuye anenezane nabesilisa esithe. Kokunye kube owesifazane, abe nomyeni nabantwana, kodwa futhi aphuthazane nabesifazane futhi. 1.6.5 Ufuziso NgokukaToynbee (2007:8) ufuziso ulibofuzo (DNA) phakathi komzali nomntwana, okungaba izenzo, ubunjalo bomzimba noma indlela yokucabanga. Kanti u-Ikeda kuToynbee (2007:8) uthi kudingeka ulwazi olunzulu ekuqondeni ukufuza nokufuzisa ngoba konke kuncike emvelweni nakho okungenasiqiniseko sokuthi ulwazi uluthola ngakho konke yini, ngoba ukwazi ngofuzo nofuziselo kungaphezu kokuqonda kwesidalwa esingumuntu. 24 Umbhali ongenhla uchaza kahle ngoba ngisho abakholelwa ekutheni ubutabane buyinto engekho, bame ngokuthi indlela ejwayelekile yokuthandana kowesilisa nowesifazane iyonayona, kodwa nayo abanalo ulwazi lokuthi yaqala kanjani. Ubeka athi ubutabane ulibofuzo olusuka ezizukulwaneni ezandulele leso sizukulwane kodwa kuhluke ngoba umuntu ngamunye wahlukile angefaniswe namuntu ngisho owozalo uqobo. Uqhuba athi yindlela imvelo esuke idale ngayo umuntu ngenkathi akheka esibelethweni sikanina. Uqhuba athi ekhasini elilandelayo, uma owesilisa nowesifazane bedalwa, noyisitabane udaliwe njengabo (DuPree 2002:90). 1.6.6 Ubulili nemizwa yocansi UGiddens (2001:106) ubuza ukuthi: How can you identify between a male and a female? One can point out genitals as the difference between the two. Ubuza ukuthi ungamchaza uthi uyini umuntu wesilisa nowesifazane? Uqhuba athi omunye angacabanga ukuthi ubulili buncike ezithweni zangasese ozalwe unazo, kanti imvelo yobulisa nobufazane akulula ukuyihlaziya ngoba abanye bakholelwa ekutheni bazalwe nemizimba engahambisani nemizwa yabo. Lokhu-ke okushiwo uGiddens kuyabakhiya ngisho ochwepheshe abangososayensi ngoba basuke bengasazi ukuthi imizwa isiphanjaniswa yini nobulili umuntu azalwe eyibo. Sebeyothungatha-ke bezama ukuthombulula leyo nkinga esingathi nje, iyimvelo okunzima ukuyicubungula. EkaSibiya inoveli ethi “Bengithi Lizokuna” iyakuveza lokhu ngoba uMhlengi aze ayoguqula ubulili nje, yingoba usehlulekile ukuphila impilo angayithandi yobufana, miningi le minyaka elindile ukuphila le mpilo osekunesikhathi eside ayifisa (Sibiya, 2008:13). Kulo leli khasi uGiddens ukhuluma ngokuthi imvelo isuke yenze iphutha ngokuthi umuntu athi engumfana kodwa azalwe eyintombazane noma athi eyintombazane azalwe ewumfana. Uthi-ke lo muzwa wokuphila impilo yobunye ubulili awufi noma awupheli kumuntu. Abanye basuke bezalwe nawo, athi angafika esikhathini sokuthomba, kube yilapho ehluleka khona ukuwuziba, akuveze obala ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. 25 Kanti-ke omunye uyaphumelela ukufihla ukuthi unesimo esinje semizwa, kube ukwazi kwakhe kuphela. Kwesinye isikhathi aphile impilo ejwayelekile, afihlele abozalo ngisho nalowo athandana naye. Kanti uBeasley (2005:233) yena uthi: Here masculinity is merely an identification, it is not tied to sexed body and apparently escapes the biological. Echaza ngenhla uBeasley (2005) uthi kuyimvelo ukuthi umumo womzimba wowesifazane uveze izakhiwo zomuntu wesilisa. Uthi lokho akusho ukuthi akaseyena owesifazane noma useyindoda kodwa kuveza okungaphezu kokuqonda komuntu ngesidalwa esiwumuntu. Ukuhlaziya lokhu okungenhla nje, kuyimvelo ukuba owesilisa abe nemizwa yokuthanda omunye wesilisa, kanjalo nowesifazane abe nemizwa yokuthanda omunye wesifazane. Uqhubeka ahlaziye lezi zimo njengezingajwayelekile uma ziqhathaniswa nothando lowesilisa nowesifazane, uthi kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi lezi izimo ezingenzeki. Ukhala ngokusaba kwabantu abaphila le mpilo ukuphumela obala ngemizwa yabo yocansi, athi kuholela ekutheni abaningi bagcine befele phakathi okwebutho lakwaZulu. 1.6.7 Imizwa nobulili UGiddens (2001:106) uhlukanisa inhloko nesixhanti phakathi kwalokhu kokubili kanje: • Okwahlukanisa phakathi komfana nentombazane okufana nokuthi umuntu wesifazane unozwelo, okungukuthamba kwenhliziyo sidalwa sakhe. Kanti owesilisa kudaliwe ukuthi unamandla kunowesifazane, umzimba wakhe uqinile, unamamasela. • Bese ubulili ebuchaza ngezitho zangasese ukuthi umfana unani kanti nentombazane inani. Uyaqhubeka uGiddens (2001) achaze ukuthi nemisebenzi eyenziwa abesilisa nabesifazane ukwahluka kwayo nakho kuyindlela yokwahlukanisa phakathi kobulili, njengokuthi abesifazane bazala izingane, abesilisa bayazondla lezo zingane bazingele ukudla kwazo bazivikele ngangokuthi kube yibona abaya nasezimpini. Okwemisebenzi-ke kuthanda ukuba umthwalo impela ngoba uma ubheka lokhu okushiwo uGiddens kokuya empini, kulesi sikhathi samanje asekhona amasotsha esifazane alwa izimpi. Mhlawumbe yilokhu kokuthola abantwana ngoba kuthinta izitho ezithile ezisetshenziswayo. 26 Lapho-ke akulula ukuthi owesifazane enzise okowesilisa, kanjalo nowesilisa kungabi lula ukuthi enze okwenziwa owesifazane. UScherer (1971:71) ubika athi: A relationship between a tradition and sexual roles confuses people. Ebalula ngenhla uthi ubulili abuncikile emasikweni noma esithweni somzimba sangasese onaso. Lapha uze achaze nokuthi kunowesilisa obhajwe emzimbeni wowesifazane, nowesifazane obhajwe emzimbeni wowesilisa. Uchaza athi yingakho-ke imizwa kuba sengathi iyashayisana noma ayihambisani nobulili umuntu azalwe eyibo. UWoodward (2000:46) wenze uhla lapho aveze khona izimpawu nezimiso zowesifazane noma zowesilisa wase efaka nezimiso eziphakathi, ubunjalo bowesifazane nowesilisa okungukuthi kungaba izimpawu zowesilisa noma nowesifazane ezingachemile nobulili obuthile. Ngezimpawu eziphakathi nendawo kuqondwe ukuthi lokho kungatholakala kowesilisa noma owesifazane. Zihunyushwe umcwaningi kanje: Izimpawu Zowesifazane Izimpawu Zowesilisa Izimpawu Eziphakathi nendawo Unevuso Ubukhephukhephu Ukuhlaba esikhonkosini Ukusebenzisana Ukuqholosha Ubumnene/ isihe Ukuthamba Ukuqinisela Isizotha Unesihawu Izikhwepha Ukwenama Ukuzibonela/ukuzizwela Ukwengamela Ubunxusa Umnene Ubuluhlaza Ukuhlonipheka Uyabekezela Ukunquma Ukukhululeka Uyaziveza Ukuzimela Ongenasimilo Uba nesibopho ngento Ukuzenzela Onomona Unobuchule Ukuziqhayisa Onenhlanhla Unobunono Ubukhondlakhondla Onamahloni Unovalo Ukweluleka Oncokolayo Ubucayi Ukungazweli Ongenamusa 27 Ngokuka Woodward (2000) uthi pho yini engabamba ukuthi angabi khona umuntu ophakathi nendawo uma kukhona izimiso eziphakathi nendawo? Akusho ukuthi uma unalezi zimpawu uyilobo bulili obubonakala ngalezi zimpawu. Uphawula ukuthi akekho umuntu owazi ingaphakathi lomuntu. Lokhu okushiwo uWoodward kufakazelwa incwadi engcwele iBhayibheli kuJeremiya 1: 5 lapho uNkulunkulu asiqinisekisa khona ukuthi uyena owazi umuntu ngamunye, wamazi ngaphambi kokuba ambumbe esiswini sikanina. Kanjalo uma ubheka kuzo izimpawu ngenhla uyabona ukuthi kwezabesilisa kuyenzeka umuntu wabesifazane abe nazo, kanjalo nezabesifazane kuyenzeka owesilisa abe nazo. Lezi eziphakathi nendawo izimpawu ziqinisekisa khona ukuthi bukhona ubulili obuphakathi nendawo njengoba ebeka uWoodward. Khona lapho uWoodward uthi umphakathi kanye namasiko kuyabuchaza ubulili bomuntu kulandela izenzo zakhe, indlela aziphatha ngayo kanye nezimpawu ezichazwe ngenhla (Woodward 2000:46). UBeasley (2005:14) uthi: Writers who justify the usage of the term gender as against sex or sexuality do so as a means of identification that the differentiation of men and women is not a simple direct expression of eternal nature. Echaza ngenhla uBeasley (2005) uyakucacisa ukuthi ubulili behlukanisa phakathi kowesilisa nowesifazane kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi umuntu useyoze afe eyisimbelambela salobo bulili aba yibona ezalwa. Wenaba athi njengoba isitho sangasese singasho ubulili bomuntu kuyenzeka isitho sowesilisa sakheke singapheleli, lokho okuholela ekutheni sibe sincane kakhulu ukuthi singenza umsebenzi olindelekile. Lokho uthi kuyamnika igunya umnikazi waso ukuthi aphile njengowesilisa noma njengowesifazane, usuke eyibuphi ubulili-ke lowo muntu, ebuza uBeasley? Phela lo mbuzo uwubuziswa ukuthi uzothi ungowesilisa kanjani ngoba akakwazi ukunelisa abesifazane? Uzothi ungowesifazane kanjani ngoba abanaso isitho somzimba sowesifazane esinomsebenzi othile esiwenzayo wobulili? 28 Ngakolunye uhlangothi ubuka ingxenye yobulili buhambisana nokulangazelela ucansi lapho achaza khona ukuthi umuntu usuke engazibuki yena qobo lwakhe ukuthi ubulili buni kodwa usuke egxile ohlotsheni oluzokwanelisa lokho akulangazelela ngaleso sikhathi (Maddison, 2000:37). Ukuhlaziya lokhu okuchazwa umbhali ngenhla, uthi indoda ayilokhu izibheka yona ukuthi kambe mina ngiyindoda, noma kambe ngiyinsizwa, kodwa imizwa isuke ithi nathi itshitshi yeshela, noma ganwa. Lapha kugqama ukuthi akukhathalekile ukuthi ubulili buphi, uma ungowesilisa ufuna ukunenezana nowesilisa noma ungowesifazane ufuna ukunenezana nowesifazane makungabi bikho zithiyo ezizokuvimbela ukuthi wenze njalo. 1.6.8 Ukuguqula Ubulili Lobu buchwepheshe obusezingeni eliphezulu kangaka buyinto okungekudala kakhulu yenzeka noma yenziwa. Siningi isikhathi esichithwe abasebenzi bezempilo belwa nekhambi nona nendlela abangayisebenzisa ukuguqula umfana abe yintombazane nokuguqula intombazane ibe wumfana. 1.6.8.1 Ubulili obuguquliwe NgesiZulu uma sithi into isuke kade ingenjalo bese ishintshelwa kwesinye isimo.Ukuguqulwa kobulili yinto eyenzekayo, kepha kunezibhedlela ezimiselwe lokho, nohlobo lodokotela abakwazi ukuguqula ubulili. Ngenxa yokuthi umuntu uzizwa engesibo ubulili azalwe eyibo, lokho kuholele ekutheni ubulili azalwe eyibo, abuguqule agcine esengobunye ubulili. UBeasley (2005:161) uchaza lobu bulili kanje: Transgender refers in this case to those who have rejected their gender of social assignment, but refuse to occupy an invisible or conformist place in the men/women gender binary. Transgender people remain in trans-it, ambiguos or “impure”. Uchaza ubulili obuguquliwe njengobuphambene obuyimpambankwici, ngoba uthi abuhambisani nalokho umntwana azalwe eyikho. Uze akubize ngobulili obusaqhubeka ( in- 29 trans-it) eveza ukuthi uma kuyintombazane isuke ingafinyelelanga emaphethelweni okwakhiwa njengentombazane phaqa, kanti uma kungumfana naye ukwakhiwa kobulili bakhe busuke buphelele endleleni. Lawo manenjana asilele ekutheni kube ngumfana noma intombazane ephelele abalulekile ngoba yiwona ahlukanisayo ukuthi ubulili buni. Uqhuba athi lobu bulili bethula ubulili obusha obuveza ukuba phakathi nendawo, okuwukuthi uba umfana mhla uthanda ube intombazane futhi mhla uthanda. Uthi lokhu kwaziwa njengomfana noma njengentombazane kuphekwe kwavutshelwa umphakathi kubantu ube wona umphakathi unganalo ulwazi lokuthi lowo muntu uzizwa engumfana noma eyintombazane. Wona umphakathi uzibonela akugqokile bese ucabanga ukuthi uyikona.Umuntu okulesi simo agcine ngokubuguqula ubulili abe yilokho imizwa yakhe ehambelana nakho. Echaza ngalobu bulili obuphakathi uBeasley (2005:155) ubuza ukuthi: Why does our society allow only two genders and keep them polarized? Ebuza ngenhla ukuthi kungani kufanele kube khona ubulili obubili kuphela? Lokhu kuba phakathi nendawo kuyinto ekhona ngoba kulolu hlobo sithola umuntu wesifazane onesitho sangasese sowesilisa, kanye nowesilisa onesitho sowesifazane. Okuyinkinga ukuthi noma ngabe laba abachazwa uBeasley ngenhla banazo lezi zitho zomzimba eziphambene, akulula ukuthi bahambe bememezela emphakathini ukuthi banezitho ezingahambisani nobulili babo. Kuba ukwazi kwakhe yedwa, mhlawumbe-ke nabazali bakhe. Ungasimemezela kanjani isimo esibucayi kangaka? Kati uMeyerowitz (2002:9) uhlaziya imizwa yabo athi: Those who identify as transsexuals often describe their quest to change sex as deep, longlasting, irresistible, longing, an irrepressible desire to live and appear as the other sex. Lapha ngenhla ukhuluma ngomuzwa umuntu asuke enawo wokushintsha isitho sangasese anaso ukuze athole noma afakelwe esobunye ubulili. Uqhuba athi abanye bagcina beyile ukuyohlinzwa kanti abanye bagcina bengaziguqulanga. Uthi lo muzwa akusiyo into oyicabanga namuhla bese uyakholwa yiyo, kodwa yisimo esikubeleselayo, sikunakashele 30 ngendlela engabekezeleki. Lokhu okusuka ngaphakathi kumuntu usuke eziphupha eyilobu obunye ubulili kungasavumi ukuthi azibambe, esengenza noma yini nokufaka impilo yakhe engozini ukuze leli phupho liphumelele. Kuzwakala sengathi usuke enembeleselane embeleselayo ukuthi kufanele kube khona akwenzayo ukuze aphume kulesi simo esicindezele ubunjalo bakhe. Lo mbhali uchaza ukuthi le mizwa yenza lo othanda ubulili obufanayo abe nesibindi esiyisimanga ngoba eqhutshwa akuzwa ngaphakathi. Siyasibona lesi sibindi esichazwa ngenhla kwenye yamanoveli acwaningwayo, lapho uMhlengi emelana nezimo ezinzima ezifana nokwazisa uyise uNgidi ukuthi uyisitabane, maqede aphikelele eKapa eseyoguqula ubulili. Umbhali wenoveli akazange asho enovelini ukuthi kwaba umsebenzi olula ukuguqula uMhlengi abe yintombazane, uthi kwathatha unyaka nesigamu ukuthi lifezeke iphupho likaMhlengi. Umuntu usengacabanga-ke ubuhlungu adlula kubo kususwa isitho sakhe sangasese siguqulwa sibe esowesifazane. Lokho kuhlinzwa, okwakwenziwan kancane kancane, kwakudinga sona isibindi sephupho esichazwe uMeyerowitz ngenhla. 1.6.8.2 Ubulili Obuxubile Ngenxa yokulangazelela ukuba owesifazane uma ungowesilisa noma ukuba ngowesilisa ungowesifazane, abanye bagcina ngokugqoka nje izimpahla zobulili ababulangazelelayo kanti abanye sebeyakwazi ukuziguqula ubulili umuntu abe yilokho akulangazelelayo. UMeyerowitz (2002:36) uthi: Some described their quest to change sex as a desire or longing. Sometimes they labeled themselves inverts, homosexuals, transvestites, or eonists. Some located the problem in their bodies. They envisioned themselves as hermaphrodites or, in the vernacular, “morphadites”, with an emphasis placed on unseen internal orgarns, or they mentioned their body build or a glandular disturbance to refer to an anomalous physical condition. Echaza njengokusho kwabantu abanale mizwa bathi izitho zangasese ezifakazela lokhu abakuzwayo zisuke zikhona yikho nje ukuthi zisuke zingabonakali. Lokhu kungabonakali kwazo lezi zitho ngamehlo enyama akusho ukuthi azikho, zikhona. 31 Ngokochwepheshe abacwaninga imizimba babona kungeke kwabanzima ukuhlinza labo abakufunayo ukuze bayenze imizimba yabo ibe yilokho abazizwa beyikho. Iqiniso elimsulwa ukuthi noma kwenzeka ukuguqula intombazane ibe ngumfana, kuseyinselelo enkulu kochwepheshe, kungafani nokuguqula umfana abe intombazane. Phela kumfana kuyasuswa isitho sowesilisa bese kuyalungiswa kanti kowesifazane kufanele kuxhunywe isitho sowesilisa. Uqhuba athi uMeyerowitz (2002:40): Medical testimony assured him that, “the strange transformation from a man to a woman was genuine and permanent”. Njengoba kuqinisekiswa ukuthi uma usuguquliwe sekuwubulili oyoze ufe uyibona, lokhu kuveza ukuthi isinqumo sokuguqulwa akusiwona umdlalo kamagenda wezingane. Okunye ukuthi ubulili bomuntu buguqulwa kungasali ngisho umkhondo wokuthi wake waba ubulili obuhlukile kulobo asuke eseyibo. Lokhu kuhambelana ngqo noMhlengi kuSibiya (2008:26) enovelini ecwaningiwe lapho okuvelayo khona ukuthi waba isiphalaphala sentombi esanganisa izinsizwa emva kokuhlinzwa kwakhe esibhedlela esinobuchwepheshe nodokotela abanobuchwepheshe eKapa. Uqhuba athi uMeyerowitz (2002:50) uthi: The fundamental question raised by sex change surgery; what makes a woman and a man a man? Lo umbuzo othi yini eyenza owesilisa abizwe ngokuthi ungowesilisa, nokuthi yini eyenza owesifazane abizwe ngokuthi ungowesifazane yiwona osiza odokotela abaguqula ubulili ngoba basusa okwenza abe umfana bafake okwenza abe intombazane. NgokukaMaddison (2000:40) uthi isitabane sizalwa siyisitabane. Ubunjalo bomuntu uthi bulawulwa isimilo sakhe naso esilawulwa imizwa yakhe. Ngesimilo akasho ukuziphatha kodwa usho imvelo yakhe, indlela adalwe ngayo. Echaza lokhu wenaba athi emizweni 32 kukhona ukuqiniseka, impokophelo kanye nentshisekelo. Umcwaningi uwachaza kanje lawa magama :  Ukuqiniseka - yilokhu okulokhu kuthi wena ungumfana noma wena uyintombazane noma uzalwe ungubulili oyibona.  Impokophelo – yilokhu okukutshela ukuthi kumnyama kubomvu iphupho onalo liyoze lifezeke.  Nentshisekelo – yisimo sokungalilahli ithemba, nokugqugquzeleka okungaphakathi kokungapheli amandla. Lapha lo muntu ozizwa kanje uwa evuka lize lifezeke iphupho analo.Yingakho lo ozizwa eyisitabane kulula ukuthi aye kohlinzwa aziguqule ubulili. Kanti ophawula ngabantu athi basemngceleni wokuba izitabane kanye nokuba abantu abajwayelekile (Johnson 2005:58) uthi kukhona ubuntombazane nobufana kumuntu oyedwa. 1.6.9 Inzondo ebhekiswe ezitabaneni UMazibuko (2008:1) uthi: Iningi futhi inkulu inzondo ebhekiswa kubantu abaphila impilo yobutabane, yingakho kuyinselelo ababhekene nayo nsuku zonke ukwesabela izimpilo zabo. Uthi isizathu salokhu ukuthi izitabane kwesinye isikhathi ziyabulawa, ezamantombazane zidlwengulwe, kanti ezinye ezisengabafundi zigcina seziyizidakwa ngenxa yokucindezela imizwa yazo zisaba ukuphumela obala. Lokhu okuchazwa uMazibuko kuyisiminya ngoba siyathola ukuthi nezidakamizwa ziyasetshenziswa kakhulu abantu abaphila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufana nobabo. Lokho akusho ukuthi abaphila impilo ejwayelekile abazisebenzisi izidakamizwa, kodwa ukuthi ubutabane nezidakamizwa kuyahambisana isikhathi esiningi. Isizathu sokuhambisana kwezidakamizwa nobutabane sisobala. Phela impilo ayilula futhi ayimnandi kulo ozalwe engumfana kodwa onemizwa yokuba owesifazane, noma lo wesifazane ozizwa engumfana. Ukuze umqondo udungeke kancane ake akhohlwe izinsizi zokungaphili impilo ayifisayo, izidakamizwa zenza lowo msebenzi. Abanye bayakwazi nokuphumela obala uma sebemnandi (sebedle izidakamizwa). Phela zisuke seziqede amahloni nokuzenyeza. UWoodward (2000:52) uthi inzondo ebhekiswe ezitabaneni ubuntamo lukhuni mayelana nobulili, okudalwa ukungabi nalwazi lokuthi nabo ubufazane nobulisa bunezinhlobo zabo. 33 Ngokwakhe uWoodward uthi ziningi kakhulu izinhlobo zabesilisa kanjalo nezabesifazane. Pho kungani abantu bangemukelani benjengoba benjalo? Uqhuba athi uWoodward (2000:53) konke kungumvuzo wokwahlulelana, siyehlulela singazazi izinqinamba umuntu aseke wabhekana nazo yena eyedwa. Uthi umuntu ngamunye uyilunga lomphakathi akasiwo umphakathi, ngakho akemukelwe ngayedwana, hhayi ngokuthi uhambisana kanjani neqembu elithile labantu noma ukuthi uyahambisana yini nezinqumo zomphakathi. UMaddison (2000:72) echaza isizathu senzondo ebhekiswe kwabayizitabane uthi: Males are embarassed if one of them is failing to offer what is expected of them as males, for an example homosexuality. Ukungagculiswa kwabesilisa ukubona omunye owesilisa ephila impilo yobulisa engaphelele. Ngokwabo basuke benokuthi lokhu kudicilela phansi ubudoda babo, bese bengamnambithisisi lowo oyisitabane. Isithunzi kubantu besilisa siyinto enkulu. Uma olindeleke ukuthi abe owesilisa esenza njengabesibhuda, bambona ehudula isithunzi sabo phansi. Okuchazwa uMaddison ukuthi kubalulekile ukuthi umuntu aziphilele impilo yakhe angaphoqwa ukuphila ngendlela efunwa abathile, umndeni noma umphakathi. Ukufakazela lokhu okubalulwa ngenhla ukuthi njengoba abantu bembona ewumfana noma eyintombazane balindele ukuthi aziphathe njengalobu bulili abamazi eyibona. Kanti lokho abakubonayo kuyashayisana nemizwa yakhe. Lapha uHarper kuJohnson (2005:108) echaza ngezehlakalo ezivelela abathandana nobulili obufanayo uthi: One of our neighbors has never spoken to us…. When we go out, he goes in. But we don’t know if that is just the way he is or if it’s because we are lesbians. Izitabane ezinomakhelwane abaphila impilo ejwayelekile, zithi ngenkathi ziphuma endlini omakhelwane bayangena okuchaza ukuthi abafuni ukuhlangana nazo ongazi angathi zinesifo esithile esithelelanayo ezizobathelela ngaso. Lokhu kuveza inzondo enkulu ebhekiswe 34 kwabathandana nobulili obufana nobabo. Abanye basuke bengenaso nesizathu esinqala abangathi yisona esenza ukuthi bangazithandi izitabane, ukungayithandi impilo eziyiphilayo kuphela. 1.6.10 Ukudideka emizweni ngobulili UBieber (1996:312) uthi ukudideka emizweni ngobulili isimo lapho umuntu ezizwa ewubulili obuhlukile kulobo azalwe eyibo. Uqhuba athi lowo muntu uzwa enemizwa yentombazane uma ewumfana, noma azizwe enemizwa yomfana eyintombazane. Ngokusho kukaBieber ngenhla uyakubalula nokuthi kubuhlungu kangakanani nakuzo izitabane ukuba nemizwa enjena. Njengoba negama lisho ukuthi ‘ukudideka’, nakuzona kuyaba khona ukuthi ‘azizidalanga’ ukuthi zibe kulesi simo. Umbuzo oveza ukudideka kubona uqobo, yilo wokuthi kanti bona babulili buni? Kanti uKorang (1989:748) uthi kwabesifazane maningi amathuba okudideka ngemizwa yabo ngomunye wesifazane ngoba bayazwelana, baxoxelane usizi, baduduzane okukhombisa ukukhonzana njengabangani hhayi njengezithandani. Omunye umuntu angaze ayididanise imizwa yobungani neyokuthandana. Ukufakazela lokhu okushiwo uKorang (1989) ngenhla, umcwaningi njengowesifazane uyawazi umehluko phakathi kothando lomngani nothando lomuntu onemizwa naye. Entsheni esazifuna kwezothando kungenzeka igcine isiluphambanisa lolu hlobo lothando. Ngenkathi ehlaziya lokhu umcwaningi uthi, umngani umkhonzile awumthandi, uyamzwela awunamizwa yakhe, kanti onobudlelwano bothando naye uyamthanda futhi unemizwa eyenza nifise ukuthintana. Kanti uRobbin (2000:107) usikhumbuza umzekelo obekwa uFreud mayelana nokulangazelela ukuba nobulili ongebona. Uchaza athi usuke usikhanukela leso sinene kodwa hhayi ukuthi onaso akujabulise ngaso kodwa ukuthi sibe kuwe, usisebenzise kwabanye. Lapha ngenhla uRobbin uchaza ukuthi usuke ulangazelela ukuba nesitho somzimba somfana uma uyintombazane, noma ulangazelela esentombazane uma ungumfana. Kuyiqiniso lokhu akushoyo ngoba abafana abanemizwa yabesifazane ubabona segqoke amabhulukwe 35 amampintshayo isitho sangasese singasabonwa nangokhalo. Ukuthi basuke besicindezele kanjani akekho owaziyo. Kusolakala ukuthi basisa ngemuva basishutheke ezinqeni. Yonke le migilingwane ngikholelwa ekutheni umuntu angeke ayenze nje ngoba ezidlalela noma echitha isizungu. Ngempela kusuke kukhona okumqhuba ngemuva, engasakwazi ukubekezela nokuzibamba. Kuyafakazeleka lokhu okushiwo uRobbin (2000) ngoba uMhlengi enovelini ecwaningiwe uthi engumfana afise ukuba umuntu wesifazane. 1.6.11 Ukwehluka Ngokuka Dent (1969:338) ukwehluka ukungafani nabanye. Lapha kuvela umuntu owenza okuphambene nokwenziwa abanye, okuchaza ukuthi umphini uphambana nembazo. Lokhu kwehluka kulolu cwaningo kuqonda ukuthi umfana owenza okuhlukile kokwenziwa abanye abafana, kanye nentombazane ehlukile eyenza okungafani nokwamanye amantombazane. Sekuphethwa izincazelo kucashunwe imibuzo emibili esetshenziswe uWoodward (2000:23) ethi : IsiZulu IsiNgisi 1. Ungubani? Who are you? 2.Ufuna ukuba ubani? Who do you want to be? Lapha uWoodward ugqamisa ukuthi awukwazi ukuphila impilo ephilwe abazali bakho, ngakho yiba yilowo muntu othanda ukuba nguyena, ungabi yilokho abanye abantu abathanda ukuthi ube yikho. Uchaza ukuthi kwabona abazali abanalo ilungelo lokuphoqa abantwana babo ukuthi babe yizinto abangezona. Abazali banenselelo yokukhulisa abantwana ngoba ayikho incwadi abayilandelayo ekhuluma ngokuthi umntwana ukhuliswa kanjani. Ngakho umbono kaWoodward uyangabazeka. Njengoba ingekho indlela okuyiyona yona elandelwa abazali ukukhulisa izingane zabo, nabo benza ngendlela bona abakhuliswa ngayo. Pho bangayeka kanjani ukhulisa izingane zabo njengoba nabo bakhuliswa? 36 Emibhalweni ecwaningiwe kugqama ukuthi abazali babantwana abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, bala ukhasha uma izingane zabo ziphumela obala ngempilo eyilungelo lazo, futhi esezizikhethele yona. Lokhu okushiwo uWoodward kuyafakazeleka kule mibhalo ecwaningiwe ukuthi kuyinzukazikeyi, okungaziwa ukuthi iyoxazululeka kanjani. 1.7 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi kulesi sahluko Lesi sahluko njengesendlalelo socwaningo sikuvezile ubumqoka bocwaningo, sathi thasi kancane nasezimweni abaphila impilo yobutabane ababhekana naso kanye namalunga abo omndeni. Umcwaningi akuphawule kulesi sahluko ngenkathi kuchazwa amagama ahambisana nalolu cwaningo ukuthi:  Abaphila le mpilo yobutabane bathwele kanzima ngesimo ababhekene naso. Kangangokuthi nokuhlinzwa baguqulwe ubulili nakho akulula, kuyawukhandla umzimba, umoya kanye nomphefumulo walowo ohlinzwayo.  Nakubazali ziyima emthumeni uma bethola ukuthi umntwana wabo uyisitabane.  Kunezenzo ezidalwa isimo ababhekene naso sokuba izitabane baze: - Bazimbandakanye nezidakamizwa - Baphile impilo yokuzenzisa, nokunye. 1.8 Isiphetho Lesi sahluko esiyisendlalelo socwaningo sethule izinhloso zocwaningo, okuyizizathu ezenze umcwaningi waba nentshisekelo yokwenza lolu cwaningo. Kubuye kwabhekwa izindlela zokwenza ucwaningo nazo ezichaziwe kuso lesi sahluko kanye nenjulalwazi ephathelene nocwaningo. Ukuhlelwa kwezahluko kanye nokuchazwa kwamagama asetshenziswe ocwaningweni nakho kube yingxenye yalesi sahluko sokuqala. Esahlukweni sesibili kuzobe kubuyekezwa imibhalo ephathelene nendikimba yobutabane esingabala kuyo imibhalo yemfundo ephakeme, iHonazi, amadezetheshini, amathisizi, amanoveli ashicilelwe nangashicilelwe, izindaba ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe, namaphephandaba. Le mibhalo ihlaziywe ukuthi yona ithini ngobutabane. Kubuywe kwabhekwa nokuthi le mibhalo ihluke ngani ocwaningweni olwenziwayo nokuthi ihambelana kanjani nalo. 37 ISAHLUKO 2 UKUBUYEKEZWA KWEMIBHALO 2.1 Isingeniso Inhloso yalesi sahluko ukubuyekezwa kwemibhalo esiyenziwe mayelana nendikimba yobutabane. Kulesi sahluko kuhlaziywe imibhalo ebhalelwe imfundo ephakeme okungama – athikili akwaHonazi, amadezetheshini namathizi. Kubuye kubhekwe ama-athikili amajeneli nezincwadi ezikhuluma ngale ndikimba yobutabane. Namaphephandaba asetshenzisiwe nawo ukuthola imibiko nemibono ngale ndikimba yobutabane. Kube sekubhekwa nokuthi le miqulu yehluke ngani ocwaningweni olwenziwe nokuthi yini okufanayo kule miqulu nemibhalo ecwaningiwe. Ephawula uNjilo uthi ababhali-ke babhala ngezinto abazibona zenzeka emiphakathini njengoba nabo beyingxenye yawo umphakathi, (Njilo 2014:128) Ngakho-ke kungaba umbhalo wephephandaba noma amabhuku ashicilelwe, okubhalwe kuwo izimo umphakathi obhekana ngendikimba yobutabane nsuku zonke. 2.2 Imibhalo eyimiqulu Lapha umcwaningi uzosebenzisa imiqulu eyethuilwe ukufezekisa iziqu ezinhlobonhobo enendikimba yobutabane ukuthi yona ithini. 2.2.1 Umqulu kaNjilo Aluluningi kakhulu ucwaningo lwesiZulu oselwenziwe mayelana nendikimba yabathandana nobulili obufanayo. Idezetheshini kaNjilo enesihloko esithi, Ucwaningo Ngokuvezwa Kwabalingiswa Abanemizwa Yobulili Obufanayo Ezincwadini ZesiZulu Zamabanga Aphezulu Nokufundiswa Kwazo Esikoleni SaseMpangeni kuyona uphawula athi : Ukukhishwa inyumbazane kwalaba bafundi ngothisha kanye nabanye babafundi, ukwenza kothisha nabafundi ngalolu hlobo kudale ukuthi umfundi engabe esenza kahle ezifundweni zakhe okukanye umfundi abe nodlame ngenxa yengcindezi asuke ebhekene nayo. Abanye bagcina belaxaze phansi ngisho isikole. Abanye baye bafise ukuphumela obala kodwa babuye besatshiswe ukuthi bazothi bangaphumela obala bese benziwa isilo 38 sengubo beshaywe okukanye bathukwe ngezinhlamba uNjilo (2014:11) Ekhuluma ngokufundiswa kwemibhalo enendikimba yobutabane ezikoleni ezimbili eziseMpangeni uNjilo ubuka indlela othisha abenza ngayo uma befundisa lezi zindikimba. Kulolu cwaningo uxoxisane nothisha abayifundisayo le mibhalo enale ndikimba, baveza izimvo kanye nemizwa yabo. Lolu cwaningo olwenziwa umcwaningi luhlukile kolukaNjilo ngoba lona lugxile ekwethulweni kwabalingiswa abathandana nobulili obufanayo emibhalweni ecwaningwayo. Lapha umcwaningi uhlaziya imizwa yabalingiswa abathile kule mibhalo ecwaningwayo ebheka izenzo zabo nemicabango yabo ngokwemibhalo. Kanti uNjilo yena uyakuveza ukuthi abanye abafundi abathandana nobulili obufanayo bayahlukumezeka ezikhungweni zemfundo lapho abafunda khona. Ukufakazela umbono kaNjilo lokhu kuyavela enovelini ecwaningwayo lapho uMhlengi elaxazwa abangani bakhe eMangosuthu lapho ababefunda khona emva kokusola ukuthi usethandana nobulili obufana nobakhe, (USibiya 2008:94). Lokhu kutholakala lapho uMandla owayengumngani kaMhlengi uma uNgidi ebuzwa ukuthi baxatshaniswa yini. Simthola uMandla eze ebipha uma esho ukuthi uMhlengi wayeseqale ilifestyle emxakayo nje esikhaleni (USibiya 2008:94) yena Mandla wathatha isinqumo sokungabe esazihlanganisa noMhlengi ngoba leyo lifestyle akhuluma ngayo kuyabonakala ukuthi yayimnyanyisa. Khona lapho uNjilo uqhuba athi abanye abathandana nobulili obufanayo baze basishiye phansi kwasikole leso. Kanti nokuphumela obala akusisona isixazululo ngoba basuke besaba ukwenziwa isilo sengubo, okungukushaywa noma bathukwe ngezinhlamba, (UNjilo 2014:11). Omunye angathi kungangcono ukuthi laba abathandana nobulili obufanayo batshele amalunga emindeni yabo kuphela. NgokukaNjilo (2014: 12): Kuye kube nzima ngisho ukutshela abantu abasondelene nabo ngoba basuke bengazi kuthi uma bezwa ngesimo sabo ngeke yini bahambe befafaza izindaba ngabo. 39 Ngokwakhe uNjilo ubona ukutshela umndeni kungesona isixazululo enkingeni ababhekene nayo abathandana nobulili obufanayo, kodwa kusuke kuwukuqala enye inkinga ngoba basuke bengazi ukuthi lawo malunga omndeni azoluthatha kanjani lolu daba lokuthi bathandana nobulili obufana nobabo. Nakuye uMhlengi ongumlingiswa osemqoka enovelini ecwaningiwe akuzange kube lula ukwazisa uyise uNgidi ukuthi uthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe, wadla amazambane ashisayo, washwathiza eqala ngemibuzo ayibhekise kuyise ebuza ukuthi umthanda ngempela yini? Uthando analo lu- unconditional na? UNgidi uma ekopolota ukuthi yini leyo afuna ukuyisho, uMhlengi uthi lokho azokusho is going to test the unconditional love athi umthanda ngalo, (USibiya 2008:23) Eqhuba uNjilo (2014:9) uthi: Umfana uma esekhulile kulindeleke ukuba ashele, aqonywe aganwe owesifazane, ngokunjalo nowesifazane kulindeleke ukuthi aqome agane owesilisa. Yingakho emanovelini nasezindabeni ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe kunenkinga ngoba abalingiswa okucwaningwa ngabo abenzi njengoba uNjilo (2014) esho ukuthi yini elindeleke kubona. Abalingiswa abangabafana emibhalweni ecwaningwayo baletha abanye abafana ukuzobethula kubazali njengabalingani babo abazimisele ukushada nabo. 2.2.1.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaNjilo ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe: (i) Endabeni emfishane ethi, “Umhlaba Ushingile”, etholakala eqoqweni likaNtombela (2004) abazali bakaBafana babelindele intombi ezoshada noBafana, njengoba akasheli ntombazane, abazali bakhe bayasho ukuthi akakaze abonakale emise isiketi, futhi nasekhaya akakaze athethiselwe amantombazane njengabanye abafana. Ovuthondabeni ufika noLindelani azomethula njengomuntu azoshada naye, bagcine beshadile. Kule ndaba emfishane abazali balindele owesifazane, ngoba bona bazi ukuthi uBafana wazalwa engumfana. Nakhu nabo bamqambe lona igama elisho ubulili bakhe. Yikhona kanye lokhu okuchazwe uNjilo ngenhla. 40 (ii) Endabeni emfushane ethi, “Ngeke”, uSabelo ulindwe ngamehlo amnyama ukuba afike nentombi azoshada nayo, bese ethatha ubukhosi emva kukayise uNzuza uma eseganiwe. Nango-ke naye kuvuthondaba esefika noThemba Shange okuwumfana awumngani omkhulu wakhe, amethule njengobambo lwakhe azoshada nalo. (iii) Kulena ethi “Amalungelo” uThabani akalethi muntu wesifazane, kodwa-ke akakwenzi lokhu okulindeleke kumfana njengoba kuchaza uNjilo, kodwa uphuma umkhankaso wokulwela amalungelo abantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo, ahlanganyele emashini ephethe izingqwembe ezikhalazela amalungelo ezitabane. Nakuyo le ndaba emfishane kuphinda amasumpa sona esikaBafana. Izifiso zabazali zokuthi uSabelo aganwe athathe ubukhosi, azale elinye iphosakubusa alisafezekanga. Umbono kaNjilo awubeke ngenhla wokuganana okujwayelekile umuka nomfula futhi. (iv) Kanti kule ndaba emfishane ethi, “Impohlo”, uThemba useze wabizwa ngaleli gama elisho umuntu wesilisa osedlulelwe isikhathi engaganiwe. Yikhona lokhu okuhambisana nephuzu likaNjilo. Phela uze abizwe ngaleli gama nje yingoba ulokhu ebhala ecisha engabe uyaganwa. Lokhu kushiwo omakhelwane, uMaZulu ongumakhelwane kaMaNtombela ongunina kaThemba agcine esemluma indlebe unina kaThemba ngalezi zinsolo zokuthi mhlawumbe uThemba uthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe. Nakuba kuvuthondaba efika nayo intombi azoshada nayo, kepha omakhelwane ngokuthi abamazeli muntu kwabesifazane, naye wayengenzi lokhu okulindeleke kumfana njengoba kuchaze uNjilo ngenhla. (v) Kweyokugcina indaba emfishane ecwaningwayo ethi “Oqotsheni”, u-Ayanda okunguyena ophila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, kuyavela ukuthi wamkhonza ngale ndlela exakile umakoti kamfowabo uThabile. Nakuyena Ayanda ndini lo akukho kuqoma, kugana okwenzekayo kuyena njengokuchaza kukaNjilo okulindelekile kubantwana uma sebekhulile. Lapho umbono kaNjilo wokugana ovela khona, yilapho uThabile okungumkaMandla egana khona. Kodwa ukugana kwakhe kuwumbuzo noma kunombuzo ngoba nangu esebanjwa oqotsheni noThabile, bese uMandla ebabulala bobabili o-Ayanda noThabile. 41 2.2.1.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaNjilo emanovelini acwaningiwe: (i) Enovelini ecwaningwayo ethi, “Bengithi Lizokuna”, kuvela ukuthi emva kokuthi uMhlengi eshaye ucingo, wazisa uyise uNgidi ukuthi uyeza ngoba kunodaba afisa ukuba baluxoxe, uNgidi uyacabanga ukuthi ngabe daba luni lolu oluzokwethulwa uMhlengi. Emqondweni wakhe kwenzeka lokhu okuchazwa uNjilo, ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uzomazisa ukuthi usefuna ukuganwa (Sibiya 2008:23). Ukufika kukaNontobeko ezothungatha uMhlengi kumvusela ithemba uNgidi lokuthi bazomthola uMhlengi esaguquka kulokhu ayethe uyikho alobole ashade noNontobeko (Sibiya 2008:63). UNgidi ubuyelwa ithemba esebona uNontobeko. Leli themba elokuthi uMhlengi wabe enokudideka kwesikhashana nje ngenkathi emtshela ukuthi uyisitabane. Uma esephinde ebona uNontobeko inyama iyivuka ogqokweni. Zonke lezo zifiso zikaNgidi ziyahambisana nokushiwo uNjilo. (ii) Enovelini ecwaningwayo ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi”, akuveli lokhu okushiwo uNjilo ngenxa yezimo laba bafanyana abalalana nabanye abafana abahlangabezana nazo emigwaqeni yasePhoyinti. Kunezimo zendlala nokuswela imali ye glue nokunye abaphila ngakho lapha emgwaqeni bagcine bedayisa ngomzimba bedayisela abanye besilisa. Ngakho umbono kaNjilo wokuganwa awuhambisani nokushiwo uMngadi enovelini yakhe. Isizathu salokho ukuthi akukho thando oluqhubeka kulaba besilisa abalalanayo, kwenziwa imali. Abantu abaganayo, nabaganwayo abathandanayo. 2.2.2 Umqulu kaStobie Olimini lwesiNgisi kunethesizi eyenziwe uStobie enesihloko esithi: Somewhere in the double rainbow : representations of bisexuality in post-apartheid novels. Kukhona lapho acaphune khona iphephandaba likhuluma ngokuthi: Homosexuals are the ones provoking us. They are upsetting society. We shall not allow these people to challenge society (Stobie, 2007:50) 42 Emanovelini nasezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe kuyafakazeleka lokhu okushiwo uStobie (2007) ngoba abalingiswa abayizitabane bayehlukana ngemibono namanye amalunga emindeni yabo.Ngalo mlayezo ongenhla ufakazela ukuthi ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo buhlakaza imindeni, imiphakathi kanye nesizwe uqobo.Ngokusho kukaStobie 2007 abantu abaphila impilo ejwayelekile bathi yizona izitabane ezibachukuluzayo. 2.2.2.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaStobie ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe Endabeni emfishane ethi, “Ngeke” uNzuza ulwa nokuganwa kukaFalakhe iNdiya ngoba ebona ukuthi isizwe sizowotha ubomvu ukuba nendlovukazi engolunye uhlanga. Inhliziyo nethemba likaNzuza selikuSabelo. Naye uma esefika noThemba Shange ethi nguyena ozoba “unkosikazi” wakhe, usebindwa isidwa uNzuza. Lesi sizwe uma kukhothama inkosi yaso enguNzuza, siyohlakazeka ngoba sixakwe indovukazi eyindoda. Ukuwotha ubomvu kukaNzuza okokuphelelwa amandla, ithemba nokungakholwa ukuthi umfana wakhe amzala ewumfana (ngokwakhe ukwazi) uthandana nomunye umfana. Yikhona kuhlakazeka komndeni ngenxa yobutabane okushiwo uStobie. Ukuhlakazeka komndeni okushiwo nguStobie kuyavela endabeni emfishane ethi, “Oqotsheni” ngoba uMandla ubulala umkakhe uThabile ngoba embambe oqotsheni nomunye umuntu wesifazane belele embhedeni wabo endlini yabo. Noma indaba emfishane ingavezi ukuthi kwenzekani emva kwalokhu kodwa kulindelekile ukuthi abakubo kaThabile bangaphinde bazihlanganise nomndeni kaMandla Sibisi ngoba ebabulalele indodakazi yabo. Owakubo-ke umndeni uMandla lo awuchazelayo ukuthi kwenzekeni ngenkathi ebulala uThabile ne “soka” lakhe. Leli soka akade engazi ukuthi lingudadewabo u-Ayanda. Akulula ukuthi ucabange ukuthi kwenzekani kuwo ngoba laba bantu okuwuMandla no-Ayanda bazalwa sisu sinye. Kungaba khona abahambisana noMandla kube khona abangasithandi lesi senzo sakhe khona ozalweni. Ngakho uqhekeko lomndeni oluchazwa uStobie siyalubona kule ndaba emfishane. Ngakho-ke ucwaningo luyahambisana nombono kaStobie kule ndaba emfishane ngoba uMbatha ukwenza kucace ukuthi kwaba isinengiso kangakanani kuMandla ukubhadama 43 uThabile nomuntu wesifazane besembhedeni. Aze ababulale pho? Okunye okwadala ukuthi ababhokode ngommese ababulale kungaba yikhona ukuthi yinto ayengayilindele uMandla le, yamehla ngaphezulu, wagajwa ukwenyanya. 2.2.2.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaStobie kumanoveli acwaningiwe Enovelini kaSibiya ecwaningiwe ethi, “Bengithi Lizokuna”, kuningi okumlahlekelile uNgidi empilweni yakhe ngoba esebeke impilo kaMhlengi kuqala ngaphambi ngisho nakweyakhe. UNgidi umkhulise ngokuwazisa umndeni uMhlengi njengoba naye anikela konke ukuze uzinyobulala wakhe akhule engaswele futhi engahlupheki. Uma uMhlengi esebekelele imali yanela yokuguqula ubulili uya entombini yakhe uNontobeko ukuyoyazisa ukuthi kuphelile phakathi kwabo kepha isizathu angasisho. Okuphawulekayo ukuthi uma esekuyise uNgidi, nakuba kunzima ukuthi amtshele ukuthi u ‘gay’ uyasho ngoba igazi lakhe leli. UNjilo (2014:11) uthi kwabanye kunzima nokutshela amalunga omndeni ngoba lo ophila le mpilo usuke engazi ukuthi uzoyithatha kanjani le ndaba lowo osetsheliwe. Okunye okwesabekayo ukuthi indaba izofafazwa izwe lonke ukuthi uthandana nobulili obufana nobakho.UMhlengi wayengenayo leyo nkinga yokuthi uyise uNgidi uzomenekela izwe lonke, nakhu ngenkathi sekufike uNontobeko, akasho kuyena ukuthi akakhohlwe uMhlengi ngoba wamtshela yena ukuthi uthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe, kepha uyamfihlela uNontobeko. Nangenkathi behamba bethungatha uMhlengi oNgidi noNontobeko, uMandla umngani kaMhlengi ucishe alibhobose ithumba asho ukuthi iyiphi le lifestyle kaMhlengi eyamenza waziqhelelanisa naye, kodwa uNgidi uyamvimba, athi akangabatsheli izindaba zabo bobabili, lezo ezabangani, (Sibiya 2008:94). Engithanda ukukuveza lapha ukuthi abanye abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufana nobabo bayawethemba amalunga abo omndeni kunabantu bangaphandle, njengoba kwenza uMhlengi ongamtshelanga uNontobeko isizathu sokuhlukana kwabo kodwa uNgidi ngoba enguyise uyamazisa. Kepha abanye ngokubona bengamukelekile emndenini bagcina sebencamela ukwazisa bona abantu bangaphandle, ikakhulukazi labo asebeke bahlangabezana nesimo esifana nesabo. 44 Kwezinye izindawo sekukhona amaqembu abhekelela ukuthi izitabane azihlukumezeki, ngokuzeseka nokuzifundisa ukuthi zingabhekana kanjani nesimo sokungamukeleki. Zicijiswa nangendlela ezingaphila ngayo ukuze zihhlale zithokozile. Ngakho-ke uSibiya uhambisana nombono kaStobie mayelana nokungazwani okuba semndenini walowo oyisitabane. Ukufakazela lokhu uTroiden kuHerdt (1989:60) uphawula athi: Self definition as homosexual may occur just before, at the same time as, or shortly after first social contact with other homosexuals. Ngokwakhe uHerdt (1989) akuvamile ukuthi ukuzemukela okuphelele kube khona kumuntu oyisitabane ngaphambi kokuthi ahlanganyele nezinye izitabane. Ukuba mdibi munye nezitabane kwakhe kuba nomphumela wokuzazi ukuzemukela kukunike nesibindi. Enovelini kaMngadi ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi” nayo ecwaningiwe akukho okufihlwayo lapha mayelana nokwazisa abasondelene nalaba abaphila le mpilo ngoba emgwaqeni isendaweni eyihlane, ayikho into eyihlazo ngoba vele akulona ikhaya. Nabalingiswa abaphila le mpilo abanabo abazali okuyibona abangaba nenkinga ngale mpilo yokuthandana nabanobulili obufanayo. Ezinye zezizathu zokubaleka emakhaya kwalaba bafana abahlala emigwaqeni yasePhoyinti yikhona ukuba umhlambi kazalusile vele, bazibuse baphume ngaphansi kwesandla sabazali. Isibonelo nguyena uNkosana lo okusho kugcwale umlomo ukuthi uphume ekhaya ngoba ubesephelile induku abazali bakhe bemshayela ukuthi uziphathisa okwentombazane, (Mngadi 2012:29). Lezi ezinye izinkunzi ezingo Dermon noAdonis zikwenza ngokukhululeka ukulala nabantu besilisa ngenxa yokuzama imali, hhayi ngoba kuwukuthi bathandana nabo labo bantu besilisa, (Mngadi 2012:48). Kuze kubangwe nokuthi ubani osesebenze imali eningi kunomunye ngenkathi kudayiswa umzimba kulaba besilisa abathenga ebafaneni abahlala emgwaqeni. 45 Ngakho-ke ukwazana kwezinkunzi lezi ezihlala emgwaqeni akusikhona ukuthi zizocijana ukuthi kuphilwa kanjani njengezitabane kodwa zisebenza imali ngokudayisa umzimba. UMngadi wehlukile kowakhe umbono. 2.2.3 Umqulu kaChapman Esahlukweni sikaChapman encwadini esihloko sithi: SA LIT beyond 2000 uChapman (2011: 337) yena uphawula athi: Homophobia is rife and state-sanctioned in many societies; in the case of Africa, for instance, the appellation ‘un-Africa’ is used as a means of controlling variant sexualities and punitive behaviour includes beating, rape and even murder, although discretion about sexual difference is usually rewarded with tolerance. Echaza ngenhla uChapman (2000) uthi inzondo ebhekiswe kubantu abathandana nabanobulili obufana nobabo isuswa ukuthi imiphakathi eminingi ekholelwa ekutheni ukubahlukumeza yiyona ndlela yokucindezela lolu hlobo lwempilo ukuze lungabhebhetheki emphakathini. Uyakuveza nokuthi le micabango iholela ekushayweni, ekudlwengulweni nasekubulaweni kwalabo abaphila le mpilo. Nakuba lokhu okushiwo uChapman (2000) kungenzeki emibhalweni yonke ecwaningiwe, ukubulawa kukaThabile no-Ayanda bebulawa uMandla kuveza wona umbono kaChapman. Isenzo sikaMandla sokubabulala siveza ukuthi ngesingaye akubafanele ukuphila. Ubona kungesiyo inqubo yabantu base-Afrika le mpilo yobutabane abayiphilayo. 2.2.3.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaChapman ezindabeni ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe Endabeni emfushane ecwaningwayo ethi, “Amalungelo”, uThabani ubona kuyisona sodwa isixazululo anaso lesi sokuthi avele ahambe phambili emashini ekhalazela amalungelo abathandana nobulili obufanayo, ukuze nonina uMaSithole ezozifundela kwezakhe ogqwembeni lwesikhalazo azobe eluphethe. UNjilo (2014:13) ucaphune isigameko lapho athi: 46 Isigameko sikaMadonsela siyinkomba ngempela Ukuthi abazali nabo bayayidala ingcindezi kubantwana babo ngoba uma umxosha lowo mntwana usuke uthi makayephi. Lapha ngenhla uNjilo uyakuveza ukuthi kwabona abazali bayayidalela ingane yabo ethandana nobulili obufanayo ingcindezi emqondweni ngokungayemukeli. Lokhu kuhambisana nenzondo eyethulwa uChapman kanye nokubhedla inkani kukaNzuza endabeni emfishane ethi, “Ngeke” eshaya phansi ukuthi ngeke uSabelo ashade noThemba Shange, wuyena lo ofunga agomele ngalesi sihloko sendaba emfishane. Okuphawulekayo ukuthi uNzuza ucabangela isithunzi sakhe esizweni sakhe njengoba eyinkosi nje. Akanandaba ukuthi uThemba uzizwa kanjani. Ukuganwa enye indoda komfana wakhe kuyamlulaza. Endabeni emfishane ethi, “Umhlaba Ushingile” nakhona uMkhabela umlethela ingcindezi enkulu uBafana ngokumshusha ukuthi alethe intombi azoshada nayo.Nangalo usuku lokuletha “umalokazana” uwotha ubomvu uma efika noLindelani okungukuthi ikhona yona inzondo yabaphila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, ikakhulukazi kubona abazali babantwana. Kuyo le ndaba emfushane kuvela namazwi amumethe inzondo laphaya kuNtombela (2004:29) lapho uMkhabela athi khona akabonge uBafana ngoba usazibambile akakamthungi izibilini ngomkhonto wakhe. Lokhu kuveza ukufisa ukuyibulala ngezakhe izandla indodana yakhe ngoba ithandana nobulili obufanayo. Lena uma kungesiyo inkomba yenzondo, kungabe ukuthukuthela okuhambisana nokuphoxeka komzali. Lokhu ukusho ngoba echaza ukuthi akasafune nakuyibona ingane yakhe, ayisuke phambi kwamehlo akhe. Nakuba uBafana egcine eshadile noLindelani, ukubakhona kukamngani kaMkhabela uSithole obelokhu ewubhula umlilo obusushisa ubuhanguhangu kuMkhabela kusizile. USithole njengoba engazalwa nguyena uBafana, kulula ukuthi abuke lolu daba kuzo zombili izingxenye. Ngakho-ke uNtombela uyavumelana noChapman uma ethi kuba nenzondo ebhekiswa kubantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Lolu cwaningo lukaChapman (2011) luyahluka kulolu cwaningo olwenziwe ngoba aluvezi inzondo yabantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo bezondwa amalunga omndeni noma omphakathi, kepha lwethula isimo sonke umndeni nomphakathi obhekana naso njengoba kuvezwe emibhalweni ecwaningiwe. 47 Ubeka kahle uChapman uma ebeka kanje ngoba uyaxwayisa emiphakathini ngezingozi zokukhombisa inzondo kwabathandana nobulili obufana nobabo. 2.2.3.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaChapman emanovelini acwaningiwe Enovelini kaSibiya uma uMhlengi etshela uyise uNgidi ukuthi u ‘gay’ uNgidi uyethuka maqede asidedele ngokushesha isandla sikaMhlengi kube sengathi uqathaza ilahle elishisayo, (Sibiya 2008:24) ngenkathi ephumela obala ngesimo sakhe sobulili. Uyamxosha emzini wakhe, asho nokuthi akafune kuphinde ambone. Uma ezama ukuchaza uMhlengi, uNgidi akasafune kuzwa kodwa uthi akamsize aphume aphele emzini wakhe futhi angaphinde awubeke umconjwana wakhe la, angaze amsakaze ngenhlamvu. Lokhu kuyahambisana nokushiwo uChapman noNjilo ngenhla. Ingcindezi iba kubo bobabili, uNgidi naye uMhlengi. Siphinde sithole ukuthi kuzo lezo zinsuku uNgidi ukhala ezimathonsi izinyembezi ezibuza ukuthi ngabe wayoneni kodwa uMhlengi aze amenze nje, (Sibiya 2008:42). UNgidi uze aye nasethuneni likamama kaMhlengi eyokhala khona ukuthi engabe wamshiyelani nalolu sizi olungaka. Uyamfisa ukuthi ngabe ukhona yikhona bezobonisana ngale nkinga kaMhlengi yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Umcwaningi akahambisani nezenzo zikaNgidi zokuxosha umntwana okungukuphelakwakhe kanjalo nje. Kepha lesi senzo sikaNgidi ngakolunye uhlangothi siveza: • Ukuphoxeka • Ukwethuka • Ukuphelelwa ithemba • Nokuphelelwa amandla ehlelwa isehlo akade engasilindele. Uma siqhubeka isikhathi kuNgidi iyabuya inkumbulo kanye nothando lomntwana wakhe, aze acabange nokuthi sewaguquka kule mpilo amtshela ukuthi uyayiphila. 2.2.4 Umqulu kaBeetar Idesetheshini kaBeetar esihloko sithi: From Homo “Gay Identity” amongst young white men in contemporary South Africa yona ibeka kanje : 48 A challenge in South Africa has been to move towards an understanding of the existence of gay identities across all race and economic groups (Beetar 2011:3) Ngokwakhe uthi sekufike isikhathi lapho iNingizimu Afrika osekufanele iguqule indlela ecabanga ngayo ngendaba yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Uqhuba athi kufanele isizwe sazi ukuthi bakhona abantu abaphila le mpilo, kuzo zonke izinhlanga nakuwo wonke amazinga empilo. Kuleli phuzu likaBeetar (2011) lokuguquka kwendlela ababukwa ngayo abayizitabane, inselelo ebheke ikakhulukazi abazali balabo bantwana. UBeetar ukusho kahle lokhu ngoba akalwazi usikompilo lokugana nokuganwa lwethu thina sizwe esimnyama. Umcwaningi ukubalula lokhu ngoba kulokhu okushiwo uBeetar uyakuphawula ukuthi lokhu kuguquka kwendlela okucatshanngwa ngayo ngobutabane kufanele kwenzeke kuzo zonke izinhlanga. Imibhalo ecwaningiwe iyahambisana nokushiwo uBeetar eminye ayihambisani. Kulolu cwaningo ehambisanayo noBeetar yile enabalingiswa abafana noSithole ongumngani kaMkhabela, ozinika isikhathi abheke nezizathu eziholele ekutheni uBafana athandane nobulili obufana nobakhe. Lolu hlobo lwempilo njengokuthandana kwabesilisa bodwa nabesifazazane bodwa, uBeetar uthi kuya ngemizwa yomuntu, kube ukuthi yena qobo lwakhe ufisa ubudlelwane babuphi ubulili. Ukhuluma ngokuzithungatha komuntu ezihlwaya ubuyena ngokuthi agcobhoze kuyo yonke imizila yempilo aze azithole ukuthi umiphi. Abazali babalingiswa kule mibhalo ecwaningwayo abanalo ulwazi ngobunzima abantwana babo ababhekene nabo ngokuba izitabane. Kubona babona sengathi abantwana babo bazithandela le mpilo ngoba ihlukile noma iyimfashini. Kanti iqiniso elingephikwe ukuthi basuke beqhutshwa imizwa yabo. UBeetar (2011:4) Ubalula ukuthi ngenkathi ezithungatha umntwana kungenzeka anqwamane nezithiyo abanye abantu aphila nabo abazobona sengathi udicilela phansi inqubomgomo namasiko omndeni noma esizwe sakhe. Lokhu-ke akuphawula lapha ngenhla uBeetar yikona okwenzekayo kule mibhalo ecwaningiwe. Obaba babalingiswa ikakhulukazi, yibona 49 abashaya phansi ngonyawo ukuthi abafana babo soze baganwe abanye abafana. UBeetar ubabiza ngontamo lukhuni abangalwamukeli nhlobo lolu hlobo lwempilo ngenxa yokuthi bakholelwa ekutheni ukuphila kanje kulimaza usikompilo lwabo. 2.2.4.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaBeetar ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe Abazali kulezi zindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe abayizwa kahle indaba yokuthi abantwana babo abangabafana bathandana nobulili obufana nobabo. Njengoba laba bafana sebeyizinsizwa eseziqinile nje, bona balindele omakoti abazovusa imizi batholele nabazukulu. Laba bazali ngokukaBeetar bakholwelwa esikweni lokuganwa nokuzala izizukulwane. Indaba yokuthandana kwamadodana abo nobulili besilisa abafune nakuyizwa. Yisona lesi sizathu sokungatholi abantwana esenza abazali babonakale engathi bawumqansa ezimpilweni zabantwana babo abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Nantu uhla lwabalingiswa bezindaba ezimfshane ezithintekayo kokushiwo uBeetar ngenhla: Indaba emfishane Abazali :Ubaba noMama Indodana/Indodakazi ne”ngoduso” Umhlaba Ushingile UMkhabela noMaMnisi UBafana noLindelani Oqotsheni UMandla nomndeni U-Ayanda noThabile Ngeke UNzuza noMaZungu USabelo noThemba Kuyagqama ukuthi usikompilo lugcizelelwa ebafaneni kakhulu. Akusho ukuthi amantombazane athandana nobulili obufanayo wona awatshelwa ngesiko lokugana, kepha ikakhulukazi ebantwaneni babafana abazali babona ingathi ababakhulisanga ngendlela eyiyo yokuba amadoda aphelele amadodana abo yingakho egcina esephila le mpilo. Okunye ngabafana ukuthi yibona abathwele isibongo somndeni ngokwabazali uma konakele ebafaneni kusuke sekubhede kakhulu. Kulezi zindaba ezimfishane ezimbili “Umhlaba Ushingile nale ethi Ngeke” balokhu bekhunjuzwa njalo abafana ngokugcina usiko lokuganwa.Akukho lapho sithola khona endabeni ethi, “Oqotsheni” abazali baka-Ayanda bemumpintshele ekhonenibembuza 50 ngokuthi beza nini abakhwenyana abazomlobola. Lokhu engikuchaza ngenhla kugqamisa ukuthi ingcindezi yokuganwa isebantwaneni babafana kakhulu. Ngalokhu umcwaningi akaqondile khona ukuthi abesifazane ababalulekile, kodwa intombazane kuthiwa iyahamba iyogana ngakho ivusa umuzi wakwesinye isibongo.Leso sizathu bese senza kungakakeki kakhulu ukuziphatha kwamantombazane njengabafana.Engani wona aze abizwe ngeganyana nje elisasidlaliso kuthiwe, ama tomboy. 2.2.4.2 Okuhambisana nombono kaBeetar emanovelini acwaningiwe Enovelini kaSibiya ecwaningwayo, uNgidi kuzwakala enovelini eyindoda efundile. Ukuthi unomuzi endaweni yasemaphandleni akuvezi ukuthi akazazi izinto kangako.Indaba yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo akusiyona into aqalayo ukuyizwa, kepha kubonakala eqinisa imihlathi okungukuthi yinto angayifuni emzini wakhe le. Angahlala kanjani uNgidi angaqinisi imihlathi bakithi ngomntwana wakhe wokuqala nokuphela? Uma uMhlengi eseyisitabane kanti umuzi wakoHlomuka usuyovuswa ubani? Lokhu kufakazela okushiwo uBeetar ngenhla ukuthi akusikhona ukungabi nolwazi ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo okwenza laba bazali bashaye phansi ngonyawo, kodwa ukuzonda impilo yobutabane. Enovelini ethi “Bayeza Abanqobi” okungenye yamanoveli acwaningiwe, kuthi kukwamazibuse emgwaqeni abafanyana laba bezenzela umathanda ngezimpilo nemizimba yabo, kodwa uMusa akafune nakuyizwa le nto yokulalana kwabesilisa. Omunye umuntu angathi isimo abhekana naso ngenkathi egcwelezwa uNcamuncamu esafika kule ndawo esimenze akangayinambithisisa le mpilo. Usephumile uMusa ngaphansi kwesandla sokuphathwa izinsasa azifice sezimnkatsha ubomvu emgwaqeni, kodwa akayizwisisi le ndaba yokuthi uthi uyindoda ulale nenye indoda. Lokhu okuchazwa uBeetar ngenhla kuyahambisana nomqondo kaMusa. Kunalezi zinhlobo ezahlukene zabantu abaphila le mpilo: • Abanye babantu abayizitabane kuyiqiniso ukuthi bazizwa kanjalo (baholwa imizwa yabo). • Abanye abaphila le mpilo yingoba bafuna ukuzifanisa nabathile abayiphilayo ababathandayo. 51 • Abanye abayizitabane abazivezi baze bafe bengakaze baphumele obala. Izizathu ezenza kungabi lula kubazali balaba balingiswa abayizitabane, zidingidwa ngokuphelele ezahlukweni ezimumethe ucwaningo ezilandelayo. Kuliqiniso ukuthi kudinga abantu baguqule indlela abacabanga ngayo ngezitabane, njengoba ebeka uBeetar. Ngasephuzwini labazali abangemukeli ukuthi abantwana babo bayizitabane, yingoba balindele ukuthi abantwana babo baphile impilo ephilwe yibo. Bazibona beyisibuko okufanele abantwana bazibuke kuso, kwazise nesisho esithi ‘indlela ibuzwa kwabaphambili’ siyabavuna abazali mayelana nendlela abantwana okufanele bakhuliswe ngayo. 2.2.5 Umqulu kaSwinstead Lolu cwaningo luzobheka nendlela yokukhuliswa kwabantwana ukuthi kunawo yini umthelela ekuphileni le mpilo. USwinstead kudesetheshini yakhe esihloko sithi: Toy(ed) Soldiers: Constructions of White Adolscent Masculinity in Mark Behr’s Narrativesubalula athi: Recent academic research has focused on constructions of masculine identity and the ways in which young men are moulded by father figures. By this, I mean that fathers often present exaggerated caricatures of hegemonic masculinity, and therefore deny their sons expressions of alternative modes of masculine identity. Unfortunately, these models are not necessarily the healthy ones and can lead to a conflict between young man’s internal desires and external or social expectations (Swinstead 2007:1) Uchaza athi abafana kufanele bakhuliswe amadoda ahlwayela izimo nenqubo yabantu besilisa. Uthi kuba nokungqubuzana phakathi kwemizwa yalowo ophila le mpilo nalabo abalindele ukuthi abe yindoda enomuzi wayo. Uqinisile ngoba abazali bavuka inja ebomvu nje, yingoba babona amadodana abo ephambuka kakhulu ngokuba yizitabane. USwinstead (2007:10) ucaphune uStobie ethi: Kids are brought up within the constructs of what it means to be a ‘real’ man and a ‘good’ woman. Cheryl Stobie 52 points out that they have been socialised by their parents “repeating pithy aphorisms which draws a line between the acceptable and the unacceptable”. Echaza ngenhla uveza ukuthi abazali uma bekhulisa umfana bayakugcizelela ukuthi akabe yindoda yangempela, uma kuyintombazane ibe qotho. Ubuye achaze ukuthi umzali nguyena odweba umugqa empilweni yomntwana ukuze umntwana akhule ezazi ukuthi ungumfana noma uyintombazane. Uze asho nokuthi abazali bamfundisa umntwana indlela yokuphila yabafana nendlela yokuphila yamantombazane. Emibhalweni ecwaningiwe yibona abazali abawotha ubomvu uma abantwana babo bephambana nezimiso ezibekelwe indoda yangempela noma intombazane eqotho. Lokhu kuphazanyiswa ukuthi laba balingiswa abacwaningiwe abaphili impilo efiswa abazali babo. Ukufakazela noma ukuphikisana kwezenzo zabalingiswa nalokhu okushiwo uSwinstead ngenhla nakho kuhlaziywe kahle ezahlukweni zocwaningo ezilandelayo. Lapho kubhekwe izinto thina maZulu esijwayele ukuzisho nokuzenza kubantwana babafana nabamantombazane. Siyasho uma benze okuthile sithi, umfana akakwenzi lokhu, noma sithi intombazane ayikwenzi lokhu. Lawa mazwi ahlwayela kona kanye ukuthi kufanele noma kulindeleke ukuthi baziphathe kanjani, lokhu okuchazwa uSwinstead. 2.2.5.1 Okuhambelana nombono kaSwinstead ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe. Endabeni emfishane ethi, “Umhlaba Ushingile” uSithole ongumngani omkhulu kaMkhabela ukhala ngokuthi abakwenzanga oMkhabela noMaMnisi ukudweba umugqa empilweni kaBafana ukuze akhule ezazi ukuthi ungumfana noma uyintombazane yini, okuhambisanayo nombono kaSwinstead mayelana nendlela ingane ekhuliswe ngayo. UBafana unabo abazali bobabili bayaphila, kodwa kuzwakala endabeni emfishane engathi indaba yonakale endleleni akhuliswe ngayo. Okungukuthi kunenselelo ebhekene nabazali ekukhuliseni abantwana babo. Umbuzo uthi ngabe kufanele bakhuliswe kanjani noma ngandlelani ukuze balandele ubulili abazalwe beyibona? 53 Kulesi sikhathi esiphila kuso, ngithanda ukuphawula ukuthi akuselula ukuthi kubantwana kuhlwayeleke izifiso zabazali. Izizathu zalokho ziningi. Ezinye zezizathu ukuthi abantwana abasahlali nabazali, isikhathi esiningi basichitha ezikoleni. Emandulo kwakwaziwa ukuthi ekwaluseni abafana banontanga yabo, kukhona nabantu abadala. Kulula ukuhlwayela imfundiso nenkambiso okumele bayilandele. Kanti ezikoleni lapho abafunda khona bahlangana nezinhlanga ezahlukene. Laba bantu banamasiko nezinqubo zabo. Ngokusondelana kwabo nabantwana bethu noma kanjani kuzoba khona ukukopelana ezenzweni zabo. Endabeni emfishane ethi, “Amalungelo”, kuyona uMaSithole uyikhulisa yedwa indodana yakhe uThabani. Akekho uyise washona kudala wasala yedwa uMaSithole ekhulisa uSipho noThabani. Mhlawumbe lokhu okushiwo uSwinstead kuyahambisana nezingqinamba eziholele ekutheni agcine esephila le mpilo uThabani. NgokukaSwinstead ukungabi naye uyise ozohlahla indlela yokuziphatha komfana mhlawumbe kube nomthelela empilweni ephilwa uThabani. Nokwazi ngamalungelo akhe, njengoba nesihloko sisho, lokho kunegalelo elithile endleleni aphila ngayo uThabani. Endabeni emfishane ethi, “Impohlo” abantu bayasola ukuthi uThemba uthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe, kodwa akukho abakwaziyo, ngaphandle kokukhononda ngokuthi usedlulelwe isikhathi sokuganwa. UMaNtombela noMzimela bayaphila bobabili. Uma bezizwa lezi zindaba bakhombana ngeminwe omunye usola omunye ngesimo sikaThemba. Lokhu kuveza ukuthi ayikho indlela ebhalwe phansi eqondile yokukhulisa umntwana, umzali nomzali wenza ngendlela abona ngayo kube yikho-ke ukuthi akaziboni uma kungukuthi useyanhlanhlatha. Ukwesabela ukuthi kungenzeka umntwana abe yisitabane, isimo esincincelwe yiwona wonke umuntu ongumzali. Kungani uMaNtombela engazange awaphikise lawa mahlebezi okuthi uThemba uyisitabane? Yingoba nabo abazali abasathembi lutho kubantwana babo. Nasendabeni emfishane ethi, “Ngeke” bayaphila bobabili abazali bakaSabelo. Inkinga ukuthi babona sengathi baqalekisiwe nje ngokuzala izingane zabo zombili zabafana eziphuma eceleni okukajosaka. Indodana endala uFalakhe uganwa iNdiya, bese uSabelo akade sebethembele kuye uzobalethela omunye umfana. Kule ndaba emfishane kwenzeke lokhu 54 umcwaningi asephawulile ngenhla kwezingane zethu ezikopela okwenziwa ezinye izinhlanga ezikhungweni zemfundo. Kanjalo nasendabeni emfishane ethi, “Oqotsheni” nabazali baka-Ayanda bayaphila bobabili. Endabeni kuzwakala sengathi abanendaba kakhulu nezenzo zika-Ayanda eziveza ukuzenza umfana ngenkathi ekhula, okuphawulwa indlela ayegqoka ngayo okwabe kuwukuthanda izingubo zabesilisa ebe engowesifazane. Isizathu sokuthalalisa kwabazali ezenzweni zika- Ayanda kungaba yileli phuzu eliphawulwe ngenhla lokuthi intombazane iyahamba iyogana, ivuse umuzi wakwesinye isibongo, ngakho ayinakwa kakhulu. 2.2.5.2 Okuhambelana nombono kaSwinstead emanovelini acwaningiwe. Enovelini kaSibiya ecwaningiwe uMhlengi ukhula enganaye unina okutholakala ukuthi wamshiya emhlabeni mhla embeletha. Iqhaza elibanjwa abazali bobabili ekukhuliseni umntwana elichazwa uSwinstead alikho empilweni kaMhlengi. UNgidi uzibambele konke ekukhuleni kukaMhlengi, nalokho okudinga owesifazane kubheke yena. UNgidi umkhulisa eyedwa nje kungekho muntu wesifazane abambisene naye, kukhona isikhala sikanina empilweni kaMhlengi. Okuvelayo ukuthi nje kwabe kukhona o-‘anti’ abasizayo yibona ababelekelela ekukhuleni kukaMhlengi. Ngokujwayelekile laba basizi abazikhulisi izingane zalapho abasebenza khona njengezabo. Kuba khona ukuzitotosa lezi zasetohweni, phela kusemsebenzini kubo. Ubudlelwane wayenabo uMhlengi no-anti abasiza kubo kodwa lokho ngeke kuvale isikhala sikamama wakhe omzalayo. Ukufakazela lokho, siyathola njenkathi uMhlengi etshele uNgidi ukuthi uyeza ekhaya ngoba kunodaba afuna balubhunge, u-anti osizayo wacela kuNgidi ukuba aphathele uMhlengi iblackforest yaseWoolworths ngoba wayemazi ukuthi uyazifela ngayo (Sibiya 2008:21) Lokhu kuveza ukuthi bayezwana kakhulu u-anti noMhlengi, wazi nezinto azithandayo. Isikhala sikanina kuMhlengi sikhulu. Kunale mpilo angakaze ayizwe, uthando angakaze aluzwe lomuntu wesifazane. Lokhu kuyanezelela emizweni yakhe yokulangazelela ukuba umuntu wesifazane, (Sibiya 2008:13) 55 Lapha kuvela ukuthi uMhlengi wayesenesikhathi eside enaleli phupho lokuziguqula ubulili. Kwabe kuyisifiso seminyaka kuyena ukufisa ukuba umuntu wesifazane. Kunezimo ezibalwe ezahlukweni zocwaningo mayelana nebala lobuso, isimo somzimba kaMhlengi eziphawulwe uSibiya okuyizona ezimenza azibone engowesifane. 2.3 Imibhalo engamabhuku 2.3.1 Inoveli kaSifiso Mkhize ethi, “Ubani-ke Onecala” Lo mbhali unenoveli aseyibhalile enendikimba yobutabane kodwa engakashicilelwa. Kule noveli enesihloko esithi, “Ubani Onecala”, ukhuluma ngowesilisa nowesifazane abasanda kuganana. UShumi noFundile bawuqala kahle umndeni wabo bathole abantwana. Kuyenzeka uShumi aphelelwe umsebenzi, izimo zezimali emndenini wakhe zingabe zisahamba kahle. UFundile ukhumbula uNomsa okungumuntu wesifazane othandana nobulili obufana nobakhe owayemeshela bengakashadi. Okwenza amkhumbule kangaka ukuthi wayengumuntu onemali, engeswele nhlobo. Bayahlangana okokuqala eRichards Bay uNomsa ebhukhile ehhotela, babe ndawonye-ke kuyizikhathi zasemini. Ntambama uNomsa amhambise uFundile emzini wakhe eMtubatuba. Omakhelwane bayaqala ukushaya amakhala ngemoto ewunyanyavu eletha uFundile njalo emzini wakhe ngezikhathi zantambama. Kuyafinyelela lokhu ezindlebeni zikaShumi ukuthi uFundile uyaphinga. Akafuni ukulwisa umkakhe ngalolu daba engakazibambeli yena mathupha. Okunye okwenza afele phakathi okwebutho lakwaZulu ukuthi nasemzini wabo isimo sesingconywana sekukhona ukudla ngoba uFundile uma ehambile ubuya eqiqingile. Isikhwele sikaNomsa sithande ukumxaka uFundile manje, ngoba akusabi mnandi uma uNomsa ezomshiya ekhaya uma kade emvakashele. Phela uNomsa ndini lo ugcizelela ukuthi nguyena owamthanda kuqala uFundile besafunda ndawonye, kwakudalwa yini ukuthi angamqomi, aze agane uShumi. UNomsa ubaleka noFundile ngemoto, babe sengozini bephikelele eThekwini kanti uShumi uqashe imoto yokulandela umkakhe ukuze azibonele ngawakhe. Bangeniswa esibhedlela 56 balaliswe egunjini elilodwa. Kuvuthondaba kufika uShumi ezobona uFundile, afike ashaqeke-ke ethola ukuthi umkakhe uphinga nomuntu wesifazane. Okuphawuleka kule noveli ukuthi abanye bayagana noma bayaganwa ukuze bakufihle kahle ukuthi imizwa yabo ithanda abanobulili obufana nobabo. Indaba yonakala khona emishadweni yabo leyo ngoba ubunjalo bomuntu busuke sebufuna ukuvela bungasafihleki. Abanye baba nengcindezi yabazali, bese begana noma beganwa ukuze bajabulise abazali babo. Lokhu okwenzeka kule noveli kufakazelwa uFreud kuSelden (2005:245) ochaza ukuthi ingaphakathi lomuntu lizwiwa nguyena kuphela, abanye abantu bakwahlulela ngalokho abakubona ngaphandle okungubulili, kanti umuntu uyena ozizwa indlela adalwe ngayo bese imphoqa ukuthi aphile ngokwemizwa yakhe. Uyakusho nokuthi ingaphezu kwamandla nokuqonda kwanoma ngabe yimuphi umuntu indaba yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Kunemibuzo ejwayele ukubuzwa abantu abathandana nobulili obungafani nobabo engengale:  Yini esuke ibonwa indoda kwenye indoda?  Babona nini kanjani ukuthi banemizwa yobulili obufana nobabo?  Akwenzeki ngesinye isikhathi bafise ukuthanda ubulili obuhlukile? Le mibuzo engenhla abayibuzi zona izitabane ngqo, kodwa basuke bezicabangela nje, ongukuthi engabe! Nomcwaningi ocwaningweni lwakhe lwabalingiswa bemibhalo, kukhona lapho anemibuzo khona ngezenzo zabo. Izimpendulo akulula ukuzithola ngoba abalingiswa bemibhalo laba abayizitabane, akacwaningi abantu ngqo. Ebeka uPhelan (1997:16) uphawula athi: Social constraints, taboos, prohibitions, and threats of punishment operate in the ritualised repetition of norms, and this repetition constitutes the temporalised scene of gender construction and destabilization. Echaza ngenhla uPhelan uthi ubulili bumbozwe izinto eziningi ezinye ezicindezelayo kulowo onale mizwa njengemisebenzi eyenziwa ubulili obehlukene, ukwenqatshelwa ukuphila ngendlela ozizwa ngayo, ukungamukeleki, ukwesaba, ukujeziswa nokuba nogcobho othile emphakathini. 57 Lapha uPhelan (1997) uchaza ukuthi indaba yobutabane ingundabamlonyeni nje yingoba abantu banomcabango othi uma uyisitabane uvele uvuke ekuseni usuthi usuthanda ubulili obufanayo, kanti akunjalo, iningi lisuke liholwa yimizwa. Ukufakazela lokhu okushiwo uPhelan ngenhla emibhalweni ecwaningiwe kuyavela ukuthi ziningi izingqinamba abathandana nobulili obufanayo ababhekana nazo. Ezinye zazo ukwesabela izimpilo zabo, ukuphila impilo yokuzikhohlisa, ukuba undabuzekwayo, nokunye. Okuphawulwa umcwaningi kodwa okungesiyo ingxenye yalolu cwaningo ukuthi sekukhona izitabane eziningi eziyizangoma. Ezama ukubheka isizathu salokhu umcwaningi, kufike lokhu okushiwo uPhelan ngenhla kwe operate in the ritualised repetition of norms. Uma isitabane sesiyisangoma ubani ongabe esakuthandabuza ukuthi ubutabane buyahambisana nesiko? Phela isiko nedlozi umumba nedlelo esizweni samaZulu. Nayo le mizwa kusuke kuyinto lo ozizwa kanje osekuthathe isikhathi eside eyizwa sekuyikho ukuthi akusavumi noma ayisalawuleki. Yilapho-ke lowo ophila le mpilo avele athi khona, azilime ziye etsheni. 2.4 Amanoveli acwaningiwe Inoveli kaMngadi ethi “Bayeza Abanqobi” KuMngadi (2012:16) ongenye yamanoveli acwaningiwe uNcamuncamu uhlala uMusa ngobhongwane ngenkathi emnukubeza, isizathu sokwenza lobu bubi kumfana omncane onguMusa odlwengulwa insansa endala ehlala emgwaqeni ukuthi ithi iyamfundisa ukuze uma eboshwa kube ukuthi usejwayele ukwenziwa isimame. Lo mcabango wokwenziwa kwabafanyana abantu besifazane uqhubezela phambili ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Lokhu okungenye yezintshisekelo zalolu cwaningo. UKorang (1989:730) ecaphuna uBessie Head kuQuestion of Power lapho athi khona ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo buthathwa njengendlela yokwahlukanisa noma yokuhlakaza imiphakathi njengoba kuphikisana nendlela yempilo ejwayelekile le yokuthi owesilisa uthandana nowesifazane nowesifazane athandane nowesilisa. Ubuye aphawule nangezimo abantu abahlangabezana nazo eziholela ekutheni bazithokozise bona uqobo ngokwesinene njengokushaya indlwabi, konke lokho kuwukuphila ungasiboni isidingo sokuba nentombi noma nesoka ngokukaKorang (1989:731). Uqhubeka athi nakuba 58 le ndlela yokuphila kungesiyo into eqala manje, umehluko ukuthi manje konke obekuyimfihlo ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo sekuphumele obala. Ubutabane kule noveli buvela lapho;  UNcamuncamu edlwengula uMusa emenza intombi yakhe ngenkathi efika ukuzohlala emgwaqeni. Izizathu zokwenza lokho enganeni ziyimidlinzo nemicabango yalo baba. Naye uMusa ukuthatha kanjani lokhu kunenezana kwabesilisa bodwa?  U-Adonis nomngani wakhe uDemon Damon bagcina sebedayisa ngomzimba bedayisela amadoda ayizinhlanga ezahlukene azothenga khona la ePhoyinti.  Umfanyana uNkosana ubaleka ekhaya kubo azohlala emigwaqeni yeTheku ngoba abazali bakhe bengakwazi ukwamukela ukuthi uyisitabane.  ULinda ongudadewabo ka-Adonis uya kohlala endaweni evulwe umlungu wesifazane njengesikhungo sokugcina izintandane, kanti uzosebenzisa lezi zingane zamantombazane njengamayengandoda, naye qobo lwakhe ulala nazo. Inoveli kaSibiya ethi, “Bengithi Lizokuna” KuSibiya (2008:94) uMandla obengumngani omkhulu kaMhlengi uma uNgidi embuza ngesizathu sokuphela kobungani babo, uyasho ukuthi impilo eyabe isiphilwa uMhlengi yayingasahambisani naye. USibiya uveza nokunyipha ebusweni kukaMandla okugqamisa ukuthi le mpilo kaMhlengi wayeyinengwa kangakanani. Izizathu zokuthandana kobulili obufanayo ngokwemibhalo ecwaningiwe:  Izimo ezifana nokungabi bikho komunye wabazali.  Ukungazisondezi izingane kwabazali ukuze bazi okwenzeka ezimpilweni zazo ukusuka nokuhlala.  Ukushada kwabantu ngoba befuna ukugculisa labo bazali abangayizwa indaba yokuthi umntwana wabo uthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe.  Ukungamukeleki, nokuxoshwa emndenini kwalabo abaveza imizwa yabo yokuthanda ubuili obufanayo. Yingakho uGiddens (2001:106) ekhuluma ngobulili ethi: 59 What is to be a man? What is to be a woman? You might think that being a man or woman is ultimately associated with the sex of the physical body we are born with. Ephawula ngale nzukazikeyi yobulili ubeka athi imvelo yobulisa nobufazane akulula ukuyihlaziya ngoba kwesinye isikhathi lobu bulili ozalwa uyibo ngaphandle usuke ungeyibo ngaphakathi. Ezindabeni ezimfushane ezicwaningwayo abazali bazi ukuthi bazele abafana, kodwa uma sekufanele baganwe akwenzeki lokhu abakulindele kubo. Yikhona ukungaqondakali kwale ndlela yokuphila okwenze umcwaningi wanentshisekelo yokubuka izenzo zabalingiswa bezindaba ezimfishane namanoveli acwaningiwe. Okuhle ngalolu cwaningo ukuthi lubheka izenzo nemicabango yabalingiswa abavela emibhalweni eyahlukene. Ngakho noma kukhona okufanayo, kuningi okuhlukile. Isibonelo salokho ukuthi abanye abayizitabane babonakala ngezenzo, abanye babonakala ngezingubo abazigqokayo nokunye. Ngakho lo mbuzo kaGiddens (2001) ongenhla wokuthi ubonakala ngani owesilisa, ubonakala ngani owesifazane uyaphenduleka. Nokuthi umntwana wazalwa ebulili buni, kulindeleke ukuthi aziphathe kanjani, kuyatholakala ezahlukweni zocwaningo lwemibhalo ezahlukweni ezilandelayo. 2.5 Okushiwo Izindaba Ezimfishane Umhlaba Ushingile UNtombela (2004:17) uyakuveza okungamaphupho abazali ngezingane zabo zabafana ezithi zingakhula bacabange ukuthi zizoganwa zivuse umuzi. Kule ndaba emfishane uMkhabela noMaMnisi babesola ukuthi uBafana unenkinga njengoba eyishaya indiva indaba yokuletha intombi azoshada nayo bazoyibona, kodwa abakaze bakucabange ukuthi uzoletha uLindelani (omunye wesilisa). Okusho ukuthi noma enayo inkinga, abakaze bakucabange ukuthi eyobutabane. Oqotsheni USibiya (2007:29) yena uveza enye ingxenye yesimo lapho owesifazane oseganile uThabile ogane uMandla, ebanjwa oqotsheni nguyena uMandla esendlini yabo yokulala enomunye umuntu wesifazane, endabeni emfishane ethi, “Oqotsheni”. Kule ndaba emfishane akabe esachitha sikhathi uMandla uphuthuma ekhishini abuye nommese afike ababonde ngawo oThabile nesithandwa sakhe okutholakala ekugcineni ukuthi, isithandwa lesi u-Ayanda ongudadewabo kaMandla. 60 Ngeke USibiya (2007:9) endabeni emfishane ethi “Ngeke” uxoxa ngendaba yabazali bakaSabelo oNzuza noMaZungu abaphoxeka kuphele nasozwaneni ngenkathi uSabelo oyithemba labo lokugcina, efika noThemba Shange ezomethula kubazali bakhe njengomuntu azimisele ukushada naye. Impohlo UNtuli (2001:168) endabeni emfishane ethi “Impohlo” abazali bakaThemba osephothule iziqu zobudokotela kwezomthetho bakhathazekile ngokungaganwa kwakhe. Bacabanga ukuthi uthandana nabanye abantu besilisa, lokho kufakazelwe isithombe esiqathake kuye somuntu wesilisa. Esiphethweni kwehla amaphaphu uma uThemba ebethulela intokazi engudokotela nayo, uNosipho Sibiya okunguyena azimisele ukumenza umalokazana wakhe. Amalungelo KuMbatha (2011:90) endabeni emfishane ethi “Amalungelo”, uMaSithole ongumama okhulisa uThabani yedwa uzwa kuthiwa kunemashi ehlelwe edolobheni, uThabani uthi uzobe ehamba phambili kuyo.Kuyamkhathaza lokhu uMaSithole aze aziyele mathupha ukuyobona abantu abamashayo, nempela nanguya uThabani phambili, baphethe izinqwembe ezibhalwe ukuthi “Amalungelo Ezitabane”, ashayeke phansi uMaSithole aquleke. 2.6 Amaphephandaba Iphephandaba Ilanga lomhla lulunye kuya mhla zintathu kuNhlaba wezi-2014, liyakubalula ukuthi umthethosisekelo waseNingizimu Afrika uyakuveza ukuthi bonke abantu banelungelo lokuzikhethela indlela abafuna ukuphila ngayo futhi kukubona ukuthi bakhetha ukuzihlanganisa nobudlelwano obunjani. Lize libike ekhasini lesithathu ngomshado kaSimphiwe Memela waseXobho noPrince Ramaselele waseGoli asebeneminyaka emine bethandana, base benquma ukubopha ifindo lomshado. Kuyavela-ke nokuthi nakuba bengabesilisa bobabili uSimphiwe nguyena indoda kanti uPrince ungu “makoti” njengoba sekukhishwe nelobolo nje kwaRamaselele. Iphephandaba iSunday Sun lomhla ziyisumi nanye kuNhlaba 2014 lona libika ngomgijimi odumile wesifazane uCaster Semenya ophezu kwamalungiselelo okuthatha intombi yakhe uViolet Raseboya amenze unkosikazi. Ngokwephephandaba amalungiselelo aseya 61 ngasemaphethelweni ngoba imindeni isihlangene yomibili abakwaSemenya bakhipha nelobolo kwaRaseboya. Abanye bayaye baphawule ngokuthi amadlozi awakwazi ukwamukela umuntu wesilisa engeniswa njengomakoti bathi lokho akukhona okwase-Afrika. UReid (2013:230) ukhuluma ngezangoma eziphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Uchaza athi izangoma abantu abaxhumene kakhulu nedlozi. Uma ukuthandana nobulili obufanayo bungamukelwa abaphansi, pho izangoma eziphila le mpilo zisebenza kanjani ngoba zisebenza ngabo abadala? Kanti iphephandaba Ilanga lamhla lulunye kuNhlaba wezi-2014 licaphuna embhalweni ongcwele kwabaseRoma 1:26-27. UPhawuli Ukhuluma ngokuguqula okwemvelo, owesifazane ethandana nowesifazane, nowesilisa ethandana nowesilisa ukuthi kuyisinengiso, nechilo. UPhawuli uveza nomvuzo oyisijeziso sabedukile abayosithola sebehlulelwa uNkulunkulu. Kulo leli phephandaba lomhla lulunye kuNhlaba 2014 kuyahlaluka ukuthi indaba yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo iyinzukazikeyi engaxazululeki ngoba abaningi bathi akuwona umkhuba omdala lo, kepha yinto entsha. Liqhuba lithi akulona iqiniso leli ngoba ukuba yinto entsha le, ngabe eBhayibhelini akubhalwanga ngeGomora neSodoma. Lize lengezele ngokuthi ngisho isenzo sokuthandana kobulili obufanayo sabe sesibizwa ngokuthi i “Sodomy” ngesiNgisi okuyigama lelinye lamadolobha lapho lo mkhuba owawudlangile kulo. Kanti iphephandabeni lomhla zingamashumi amabili nambili kuNhlangulana libika ukuthi uSomizi Mhlongo obethula uhlelo oluthi, “The Front Row” elwethula noBonang Matheba, uhlelo lwabo lumisiwe. Isizathu sokungaqhutshwa kwalolu hlelo yilesi siteshi seMetro FM ukuthi abaphethe isiteshi bathe abanaso isikhala sezitabane ezinhlelweni zabo. Ebuzwa ukuthi kumphethe kanjani lokhu uSomizi uphendule wathi baningi abantu beqashwa bedilizwa. Kungani uma sekwenzeka kuye bese kuba sengathi into entsha? Uqhube wathi uhlelo alusekho kodwa yena usekhona, futhi ukuphela kohlelo akusho ukuphela kwezitabane. 62 2.7 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi emibhalweni ekhuluma ngobutabane Imibhalo yolimi lwesiNgisi evakashelwe eyimiqulu eshicilelwe ukufezekisa iziqu zabafundi iyakweseka ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Kuyona kuvela nokuthi akulona ichilo ukuphumela esidlangaleni kwalabo abaphila le mpilo. Umcwaningi wethekele okuningi kule miqulu okufundisa : • ngokwamukela abathandana nobulili obufanayo • ukubeseka ngaso sonke isikhathi • ngendlela abaphathwa ngayo emiphakathini eminingi 2.8 Isiphetho Iqoqa lakho konke lokhu asebekuphawulile ongothi abangenhla kungasongwa ngalawa maphuzu; • Abaphila impilo yobutabane abakemukeleki. • Abazali babantwana abayizitabane bavuka inja ebomvu, abafune nakuyizwa eyokuthi abantwana babo bayizitabane. • Izitabane ziba nengcindezi ngenxa yokucwaswa nokungemukeleki. Imibhalo ebuyekeziwe okungamabhuku nemiqulu eshicilelwe namaphephandaba kuyahambisana nesihloko socwaningo. Amanoveli nezindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe kuyayiveza imizwa nemicabango yabalingiswa abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Kanjalo kule mibhalo kuyavela nokuthi abasondelene nabathandana nobulili obufanayo banayiphi imibono. Injulalwazi okuyiyona eyakhe uhlaka lwalo msebenzi yethulwe esahlukweni sesithathu. 63 ISAHLUKO 3 INJULALWAZI EYAMENE NOBUTABANE 3.1 Isingeniso Injulalwazi yakha uhlaka okuyilona ucwaningo olwakhelwa phezu kwalo. Injulalwazi iyahambisana nesihloko esikhethiwe. Inhloso yalesi sahluko ukuphawula ngenjulalwazi ephathelene nokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Ngizochaza injulalwazi yobutabane bese ngiyilumbanisa nesihloko socwaningo nemibhalo ecwaningiwe. 3.2 Injulalwazi yobutabane Le njulalwazi yasungulwa yizona izitabane ngenxa yokubona izinselelo abaphila le mpilo ababhekene nazo nsuku zonke. Ibizwa nge Queer Theory isebenza njengesisekelo sempilo izitabane eziyiphilayo. 3.2.1 Imizwa yothandana nobulili obufanayo Injulalwazi yobutabane yiyona ewuhlaka umcwaningi alusebenzise ukwakhela kuyo ucwaningo. UChapman (2011:335) ephawula ngale njulalwazi uqala ngokuthi: An interesting turn in the post-apartheid era is the handling of the trope of bisexuality, which opens up a potentially useful domain for considering sexuality and national identifications beyond the constrains of binary models. Lapha ngenhla ubalula iqhaza elabanjwa uhulumeni wentando yeningi ekukhululeni oncukumbili. Uthi lokhu kwavula amathuba okwamukela ukuthi akunazithiyo kunoma ngubani zokuba yinoma yibuphi ubulili abuthandayo, engaphoqwa ubulili azalwe eyibo. Ukufakazela uChapman emibhalweni ecwaningiwe akukho lapho abalingiswa abayizitabane bethiywa ubulili abazalwe beyibo. Kuvela belandela imizwa yabo yobutabane benganendaba ukuthi abazali babo, abangani nalabo abakade bethandana nabo ngaphambilini bazothini noma bazophatheka kanjani. UStobie (2007:22) uchaza injulalwazi yobutabane (Queer Theory) kanje: Queer practises, orientations or preferences include intersex, androgyny, cross-dressing, drag transgender, gender blending, genderfuck and genderqueer. 64 Lapha ngenhla uchaza izenzo zobutabane ngokuhlukana kwazo ebala ubudlelwane bobulili obubodwa, ukugqoka izingubo zobulili ongebona, ubulili obuxubile nokunye. Uchaza athi konke lokhu kwakha uhlaka impilo yobutabane encike kulo. Emibhalweni ecwaningwayo kuyavela ukuthandana kwabantu abawubulili obufanayo, UMngadi (2012:30) uveza uMbawula esezitholele “intombi” kuNkosana athe eqala nje ukumbona wambiza ngomfana-ntombazane okusho ukuthi kukhona akade ekubona kuNkosana okuwubuntombazane. Uze amfake amacici amtshele ukuthi kusuka namuhla usezoba intombi yakhe, yena Mbawula. Kanti ku “Journal of Bisexuality” ka (2009:214) uCallis uthi: Queer describe something that is somehow out of ordinary or not quite right. A queer identity implies “that not everybody is queer in the same way….a willingness to enable others to articulate their own particular queerness. Ephawula ngenjulalwazi yobutabane u-April Callis ngenhla uthi ubutabane impilo ehlukile omunye umuntu angathi impilo engalungile. Ngokungalungile uqonde ukuthi le mpilo ayifani nempilo eyejwayelekile ngakho abantu bayibona bayibuke njengempilo engalungile. Uqhuba athi nabo ubutabane buhlukene. Lokhu akushoyo kufakazela uStobie ngenhla. Emibhalweni ecwaningiwe kuvela uMhlengi eguqula ubulili eba yisiphalaphala sentombi esinguphumalanga sikothe (Sibiya 2008:26) enovelini esihloko sithi “Bengithi Lizokuna”. Endabeni emfushane esihloko sithi, “Oqotsheni” u-Ayanda ozalwe eyintombazane ugqokisa okomfana, uphuza utshwala aphafuze nogwayi, ugqoka nodangara besilisa, ufaka nesiqholo sabesilisa i’Hugo Boss” (Sibiya 2007:34) Lezi zenzo zabantu abayizitabane abakule mibhalo engenhla bafakazela okushiwo u-April Callis ukuthi ubutabane behlukene ngezinhlobo zabo. Abanye bathanda ukugqoka izingubo zobulili abangebona kodwa bangaziguquli ubulili, kanti abanye bagqoka izingubo zobulili abazalwa beyibo kodwa baziphathise okobunye ubulili, njalonjalo. ULauren Berlant ku “PMLA Journal” (1995:345) uthi: 65 And without forgetting the importance of the hetero- homo distinction of object choice in modern culture, queer work wants to address the full range of power – ridden normativities of sex. This endeavor has animated a rethinking of both the perverse and the normal: the romantic couple, sex for money, reproduction, the genres of life narrative. Echaza ngenhla uthi kunomehluko phakathi kokuthandana kobulili obufanayo nokuthandana kobulili obungafani. Uthando lowesilisa nowesifazane lunemiphumela engafani neyothando lwabesilisa bobabili noma abesifazane bobabili. UBerlant ubalula izinto ezifana nokuzalwa kwabantwana, ukudayisa umzimba nokunye. Emibhalweni ecwaningiwe kuyavela ukuthi abazali babantwana abathandana nobulili obufanayo baguliswa ikakhulu ukuthi angeke basabathola abazukulu ngenxa yalolu hlobo lwempilo oselukhethwe abantwana babo. Lokho kufakazela okushiwo uLaurent ngenhla. UDragon useyamukele nempilo yokwenziwa uDermon isigqila sakhe socansi. Bobabili bakhokhelwa ngocansi abesilisa ezindlini zangasese zomphakathi, emihubheni, imali abayikhokhelwa ngokudayisa umzimba iphelele ezidakamizweni (Mngadi 2012:41). Iqiniso elishiwo ngenhla lokudayisa ngomzimba kwezitabane liyavela kule noveli. USpargo (1999:8) uthi i “Queer Theory”: Describes a diverse range of critical practices and priorities: readings of the representation of the same sex desire in literary texts, films, music, images; analyses of the social and political power relations of sexuality: critiques of the sex-gender system; studies of transsexual and transgender identifications of sadomasochism and of transgressive desires. USpargo (1999) uzethule zonke izinhlobo zobutabane njengokuvela kwazo emibhalweni yobuciko, emculweni, emafilinini, nasezithombeni. Le njulalwazi isetshenziswe ngoba ubutabane buveziwe kule mibhalo ecwaningiwe futhi kuyiyona njulalwazi encikene kakhulu nobutabane. Kule mibhalo ecwaningiwe kukhona umlingiswa uguqula ubulili (uMhlengi enovelini kaSibiya ethi Bengithi Lizokuna), lolu hlobo ulubalulile uSpargo ngenhla. Ezindabeni ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe abafana abangabalingiswa bathatha isinqumo sokuphumela obala ngemizwa yabo noma abazali babo bengahambisani nakho. 66 3.2.2 Injulalwazi yobutabane ibhekiswe emphakathini Ku-athikili kaTurcotte (2000) kuyavela ukuthi injulalwazi yobutabane: In queer theory, sexuality is made into basis for sexual relations of sex when in reality, it is social relations that define sexuality. In other words, the affirmation of many forms of sexual practises is not likely to endanger the relations of power since it allows heterosexuality to pass as only a form of normative sexuality without foregrounding its connections to the social organization of power. Echaza ngenhla uTurcotte uthi ukusetshenziswa kwendlela ejwayelekile yokuthandana kowesilisa nowesifazane abantu abaningi kwenza ukuthi ezinye izindlela kube sengathi azikho noma azivumelekile. Ngakho injulalwazi yobutabane yelapha imicabango efana naleyo kubantu. Kuyahlaziyeka ubunjalo benjulalwazi yobutabane ngokukaTurcotte (2000) lapho ethi: It appears that the queer trend is both a desire to unite all of those who want the deconstruction of gender by new sexual practices other than heterosexual. It is the affirmation of a sexual identity that differs from the dominant sexuality of heterosexuality. This affirmation creates new relations between gay men and lesbians based this time on their similarities on the basis of a different sexuality and a desire to deconstruct and to question gender. Impicabadala yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo, kubukela le njulalwazi isungula obunye ubulili kunalobu bulili obujwayelekile. Uqhuba athi ukubambisana kwabesibhuda nabesilisa abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo, kwenza babuke okufanayo nokungafani ezimpilweni zabo. Okunye okufanayo phakathi kwabo ukwethula ubulili obusha emphakathini. Umphakathi uvame ukucabanga okuhlukile kunalokho okucatshangwa umuntu othandana nobulili obufana nobakhe. Le njulalwazi i“queer” igxile entweni eyodwa vo, ukwehluka komuntu kwabanye. Ichaza ukuthi abantu abafani, bathi bedalwe ngokufana ngokwemvelo, kodwa bahlukene futhi bahlukile. Okuphawulekayo emibhalweni ecwaningiwe ukuthi 67 abantwana baphila esikhathini esehlukile kwesabazali babo. Le njulalwazi iveza ukuthi ubunjalo bomuntu buhlukene kabili:  Yilokho umntwana azizwa eyikho.  Yilokho abantu abacabanga ukuthi uyikho. Kulezi zinhlobo ezimbili zobunjalo bomuntu ngokwale njulalwazi kuvela ukungqubuzana phakathi komuntu othandana nobulili obufana nobakhe kanye nasondelene nabo okungaba umndeni wakhe noma umphakathi. Iphuzu lokuqala ngenhla liveza ukuthi basuke bezizwa bengabantu abanjani, kanti elesibili liveza ukuthi amalunga omndeni wona asuke elindele ukuthi baziphathe kanjani noma asuke ecabanga ukuthi babulili buni futhi bazizwa kanjani. Le njulalwazi iyakuveza futhi ukuthi usikompilo luthi, ukuze ukholwe noma ube nobuqiniso bento akunasidingo sokuthi uyithinte noma uyizwe. Kholwa yilokho okushiwo asebeke bayibona noma bayizwa. U-Allan (2005:4) uqhuba athi: Think about when and what you eat, for an example. Biologically we are all driven to eat. But when and what to eat is socially and linguistically ordered. Ubuye akhulume nangendalo yomuntu lapho athi ukudalwa kwabantu bungezindlela ezahlukene. Lapha wenza umzekeliso wokudla ukuthi sonke siyadla ngoba siyayizwela indlala, kodwa ukuthi sidlani nini, lokho kuncike kumuntu nomuntu. Lapha ubalula ukuthi abantu bacabanga ngezindlela ezingafani, baqonda imvelo nempilo ngezindlela ezingafani okuholela ekutheni nezenzo zabo zingafani. Le njulalwazi yeyeme kakhulu ocwaningweni olwenziwe ngoba lolu cwaningo lugxile ekuhlukeni kwabantu ngokuzikhethela indlela engajwayelekile yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Abuye uSpargo (1999:59) aphawule athi: Within queer theory, the critique of naturalised binary gender classification has extended in work on transsexuals and transgender. 68 Uchaza ukuthi uSpargo le njulalwazi yobutabane iyakufukamela ukuthi kungayi ngokuthi ungumfana noma uyintombazane kodwa kuvezwe futhi kwamukelwe nokunye ukudalwa kwemvelo okungobunye ubulili ngaphandle kwalobu obujwayelekile. Ezibonelweni zale ncazelo ubala nokuguqula ubulili. Enovelini kaSibiya ecwaningwayo kuyavela ukuguqulwa kobulili kukaMhlengi lapho athi ebuya eKapa emva kokuhlinzwa wabe eseyisiphalaphala sentokazi esinguMahlengi eyayisisanganisa izinsizwa. UTurner (2001:4) ephosa esivivaneni ngale njulalwazi uthi izinhlobo zobudlelwane zibaluleke ukwedlula ubudlelwane uqobo. Izinjulalwazi ezifana nale zithombulula lokho okuyimfihlo ngokwehluka kwezinhlobo zobudlelwano imiphakathi enazo. Ukhuluma ngokwehluka komuntu oyedwa emndenini, okungadala ukuthi nomndeni wonke ugcine usukwamukele waze wahambisana nendlela aphila ngayo. Uveza ukuthi ukwamukelwa umndeni kuholela ekwamukelweni umphakathi agcine esamukelwe isizwe sonkana. Le njulalwazi iyahambisana nendikimba yokuthandana kwabanobulili obufanayo ecwaningiwe, ngoba akusibona bonke abantu emndenini abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo, kodwa kuba oyedwa nje ophuma iqhubu aziphilele le mpilo. Kanjalo noGoodman (1971:31) ubalula athi le njulalwazi yobutabane ihlukanisa inhloko nesixhanti phakathi kwento, umsebenzi wayo, kanye nenqubo elandelwayo. Uthi konke lokhu akuzimele kodwa, kepha kudidiyelwe ndawonye. Uma kungumntwana wentombazane, akangahlanganiswa nomsebenzi okumele awenze, kanye nenqubo noma indlela okufanele aziphathe ngayo. Le njulalwazi iyihlaba esikhonkosini mayelana nezifiso zabazali, ngoba yizona lezi ezenza ukuphoxeka, ukuvuka inja ebomvu, nokufa olwembiza emalungeni omndeni uma esethola ukuthi abalingiswa bemibhali ecwaningiwe bayizitabane. UFoucault kuCalhoun (2012:293) uthi ucwaningisise ubulili kanye nomzimba womuntu, ukwenza komphakathi kanye namasiko awo. Uphawula ukuthi amandla okwengamela okungaba umndeni (umzali) noma isikhundla esithile emphakathini, sinomthelela ekuphoqeni abantu benze futhi baphile ngendlela wena owengamele ocabanga ngayo. Lokhu kuyahambisana nabazali nokucabanga kwabalingiswa abaphila impilo yobutabane emibhalweni ecwaningwayo. 69 UBourdieu kuCalhoun (2012:332) uthi la okungenamthetho khona kungaba kwampunzi edla emini, bese izizukulwane ezilandelayo zigcine zinhlanhlatha ngoba inyathuko ingacentwanga kahle abadala. Nakuba kunjalo uthi akufanele abantu baphoqwe ukuthatha izinqumo ezingahambisani nempilo abafuna ukuyiphila. Naye usahambisana nayo le njulalwazi ebheka ukwenza nokucabanga komuntu ngayedwana kushayisana nezindlela zomphakathi. USmith ku-Appelrouth (2011:319) uthi: He uses a notion of standpoint to emphasize that what one knows is affected by where one stands in a society. Uphawula uSmith (2011) athi, le njulalwazi incike ekutheni ukhetha liphi icala. Uthi uma uwedwa isimo usibuka ngendlela eyodwa kanti uma abantu bebaningi babuka ngamehlo ahlukene. Ubuye aphawule ngokuthi izimo zemihla ngemihla abantu abahlangabezana nazo empilweni abazithathe njengesendlalelo solwazi olusha hhayi njengenkinga edinga ukuxazululwa. Naso isimo sobutabane lesi uchaza ukuthi asibe ulwazi olusha abantu abangalusebenzisa ekwazini okuthile abebengenalwazi lwakho. USmith uqhuba athi ngaleyo ndlela sebeyofunda lukhulu ngempilo ngoba banesisekelo abasebenzela phezu kwaso ekuzuzeni ulwazi. USmith ugcizelela ukuthi imizwa yobutabane yenza umuntu aphokophele ukuveza indlela adalwe ngayo yena uqobo engaziqhathanisi namuntu. Uchaza ngokuthi imicabango yakhe isuke ingancikile kweyomunye umuntu. UPhelan (1997:37) uthi: The uniqueness to which lesbian theorists allude as “true”, “original”, or “genuine” depends, for Winnicott, upon installation and maintanance of facilitating enviroment. Ehlaziya lokhu kungafani uPhelan (1997) ngenhla ukubheka athi kuyisiqiniseko esivela kahle sigqame bha uma isimo simvumela lowo othanda ubulili obufana nobakhe. Lapha uPhelan uchaza ukuthi ukungafani kuyagqibeka kungaveli uma lowo enokwesaba ukuthi angase abe sengozini uma eziveza. Kwabanye uma kuqhubeka isikhathi ekhula kubuye kuvele lokhu kungafani kanti kwabanye uze afe engakaze aziveze. 70 Bonke laba babhali bavumelana ngazwi linye ukuthi abantu abafani. Ngokwabo bakholelwa ekutheni samukelane futhi kungabi bikho impilo engcono kunenye, akube ubumbano ekwahlukaneni. I-athikili kaTurcotte (2000) ithi ithiyori yobutabane ibheka ubutabane: Queer gives me politics for things I’ve always been interested in- like how I feel as a woman who’s mistaken for a man, who’s intrigued by men and gay male sexuality and as a lesbian and a feminist connecting to my affinities with men’s struggle around sexuality. Injulalwazi yobutabane uTurcotte uyibheka njengenqola eyethula noma ethwele iqiniso eliyisisekelo kwabaphila impilo yobutabane ukuthi bacacelwe ukuthi kungani ethi engowesifazane kepha azizwe engowesilisa. UTurcotte uqhuba athi: “Both in culture and politics, queer articulate a radical questioning of a social and cultural norm, notions of gender, reproductive sexuality and the family”, since as she later says, this normal society, “posits the homo perspective as bad and annihilates the spectrum of sexualities that exist”. Le njulalwazi iyakuveza ngokusho kukaTurcotte ukuthi ezombusazwe namasiko kuyababandlulula abaphila impilo yobutabane ngoba kunesisekelo sobulili bokwandisa imindeni. Ngakho ubutabane bubukwa njengesimo esibi esizodunga lokho okuyisiko. 3.3 Okushiwo yinjulalwazi yobutabane emibhalweni ecwaningiwe Kuningi okuhambelana nenjulalwazi yobutabane kule mibhalo ecwaningiwe.Ngaphambi kokuphawula ngakho umcwaningi wethula inoveli ngamafuphi. Kafushane ngale noveli ethi, Bengithi Lizokuna ecwaningiwe: UMhlengi ongumlingiswa osemqoka enovelini kaSibiya ecwaningiwe kuyavela embhalweni ukuthi wayiphila impilo yokuthandana nabesifazane, siyezwa eshiya uNontobeko intombi yakhe akade esethandene naye izinyanga ezine. Okunye okwamnika ithemba uNontobeko ngokuthi uMhlengi angagcina emthathile amenze unkosikazi ukuhamba naye ngenkathi eya kubo eGcilima, besanda kuthandana, (Sibiya 2008:60). 71 Kanjalo noMandla owayengumngani kaMhlengi besafunda eMangosuthu uyasho ukuthi umngani wakhe wavele washintsha esikhaleni nje waphila i lifestyle eyenza ukuthi aziqhelelanise naye (Sibiya, 2008:94). 3.3.1 Injulalwazi yobutabane enovelini ethi Bengithi Lizokuna Le njulawazi njengoba igqamisa okuyimizwa yomuntu kanye nalokho abantu abacabanga ukuthi uyikho, iyahambisana nalo mbhalo ngoba: UNgidi wayecabanga ukuthi uzele umfana ozokhula abe indoda, aganwe athole abantwana, (Sibiya 2008:41). Kuvela ezibuza eziphendula ukuthi yini le uMhlengi azomazisa yona le athi angeke bakwazi ukuyixoxa ocingweni? Yena uNgidi ulindele ukuthi umfana wakhe njengoba esekhule kangaka nje, uzomazisa ngokuthatha unkosikazi. UXolani uhlangana noMahlengi emhlanganweni wosomabhizinisi abasafufusa, azibonele isiphalaphala esimsanganisayo aze akhohlwe nawukushayela umkakhe uLungile ucingo amtshele ukuthi uzophuza ukubuya, (Sibiya 2008:27). Akazi ukuthi lobu bulili abubonayo kuMahlengi abusiyo le nto acabanga ukuthi buyiyo, bukhona ubunjalo bukaMahlengi obaziwa nguyena kuphela uMahlengi. Nesoka likaMahlengi lezinyangana ezimbalwa elinguNdumiso kukhona ubuqiniso bempilo kaMahlengi elingabazi. Lize lishaye uXolani ngoba libona ukuthi useyidide umqondo intombi le enguMahlengi, (Sibiya 2008:83). Laba balisa bobabili babanga umuntu abacabanga ukuthi ungowesifazane ngokudalwa kwakhe, abazi ukuthi uyindoda eguquliwe. Ngakho lokhu okuchazwa u-Allan (2005) ngenhla kuyafakazeleka. UMathewman (2007:20) echaza injulalwazi yobutabane uthi yenzelwa ukuthi abantu baqonde kangcono impilo jikelele nempilo abayiphilayo bona uqobo lwabo. Uqhuba athi lokhu kuqondwa kubhekiswe emphakathini nakuye umuntu ngayedwana. Uthi imizwa yomuntu, izenzo kanye nenqubo aqhuba ngayo kungaholela ekulimazeni izimpilo zabanye abantu asondelene nabo. Lokhu siyakubona kulaba balingiswa: 72 3.3.1.1 UNgidi Umuntu omdala bandla udlula ezimweni ezinzima ewa evuka akhela umntanakhe uMhlengi ikusasa elingcono. Nempilo yakhe ima nse angaganwa ukuze athole lonke uthando aludingayo uzinyobulala wakhe. Athi angakhula ngokwanele uMhlengi amtshele ukuthi uthandana nabanobulili obufana nobakhe. Uyaphuka umoya kaNgidi ephulwa isinqumo sikaMhlengi. 3.3.1.2 UNontobeko UMhlengi uyayilimaza impilo kaNontobeko, uziphosa emotweni nje imlimaze yingoba uMhlengi umalile akangasisho isizathu sokwehlukana kwabo. Ngenhlanhla noma ngebhadi uNontobeko ushayiswa imoto eshayelwa uNkululeko, omphuthumisa esibhedlela, kanti bazogcina sebethandana. UNkululeko uba ngumlingiswa ozama ukophula uNontobeko ezinhlungwini zothando lukaMhlengi. UNontobeko uhlukana noNkululeko kuzosa kube usuku lwabo lomshado. Isizathu sikaNontobeko sokuhlukana kwabo ukuthi uyobheka uMhlengi bazame ukukhuluma balungise izinto, babuyelane. UNkululeko uyazilengisa ngebhande lebhulukwe esihlahleni ashone. Ubuhlungu abuzwayo esethola izindaba zokuthi uNkululeko uzibulelele ngenxa yakhe uNontobeko buhlula ukwenza. Konke lokhu kuhlala ethembeni ebhekana nezivunguvungu kuphela kalula kanjalo kuvuthondaba? Kuvuthondaba uNontobeko uthola ukuthi uMhlengi waziguqula ubulili nguyena lo esyisiphalaphala sentombi angasamboni. Yingakho ethi wangenza Mhlengi! Ubona ekugcineni kuvuthondaba uNontobeko ukuthi ulahle okukhona ngokungekho ngokushiya umshado wakhe noNkululeko aye kothungatha uMhlengi, ngenkathi emfica eseziguqule ubulili esenguMahlengi. 3.3.1.3 UXolani Naye lo mlingiswa uyathinteka kubantu abalinyazwe isinqumo sikaMhlengi sokuthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe ngoba yena wazi ukuthi umuntu wesifazane lo athandana naye. Ubesesithathile isinqumo sokudivosa uLungile (Sibiya 2008:37) lapho esebona sengathi waphuthuma ngokusheshe aganwe. 73 Okubuhlungu kakhulu ukufelwa izingane zakhe, nomshado wakhe uphele kanjalo ngoba ethembe ukuthi usezoshada uMahlengi kanti usho umuntu owake waba indoda? UMhlengi uwuhlukumezile umndeni wakwaMpanza ngesinqumo asithatha sokuguqula ubulili. 3.3.1.4 UNdumiso Nalo mlingiswa isinqumo esathathwa uMhlengi sokuguqula ubulili aphile njengomuntu wesifazane sibe nomthelela ekulimazeni impilo yakhe. Wayengeke ayobamba inkunzi eGcilima uNdumiso ukuba wayengasanganisiwe uthando lukaMahlengi. Kwaze kwafa nesilima senkosi uNyambose ngezimanga zakhe uMhlengi/ Mahlengi. Eqhubeka uMathewman (2007:20) echaza injulalwazi yobutabane ubalula nemfundiso ephathelene nesimilo ehlwayeleka kumntwana ngesikhathi ekhula. UMhlengi waba neshwa lokungakutholi konke lokhu ekukhuleni kwakhe ngoba ekhuliswa uyise uNgidi kuphela, unina engasekho emhlabeni. Kanjalo naye uNdumiso akukho lapho okuvela khona enovelini ukuthi wayenabazali. Bonke laba balingiswa abangenhla bayakufakazela lokhu okushiwo uMathewman (2007) ngale njulalwazi yobutabane ngoba abathandana nobulili obufanayo kwesinyeisikhathi nabo uqobo iyabadida le mpilo abayiphilayo. Inoveli ethi, Bayeza Abanqobi Kafushane ngale noveli ethi, Bayeza Abanqobi Ekuqaleni kuvela isiphethu senzondo phakathi kwabamnyama nabamhlophe, lapho uAdonis Drake eshonelwa abazali bakhe ababulawa izigebengu ezibangenela ekhaya. Kanti unina kaMusa ozisebenzela emajalidini abelungu uzobonwa yilo mfana u-Adonis esagcwele intukuthelo ngokushonelwa abazali bakhe bese emusasazele ngezinja ezimnqamula uqhoqhoqho ashone. Injulalwazi yobutabane ezimisweni zayo kukhona nokulwa nenzondo ebhekiswe kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo. Okuhlukile kule noveli ukuthi inenzondo phakathi kohlanga olumnyama nohlanga olumhlophe. Laba bafana bagcina behlala emgwaqeni ngenxa yezimo ezinzima zempilo ababhekana nazo bengasenabazali, abanye babo bagcine sebedayisa ngomzimba kwabanye abesilisa. Nabo 74 balalana bodwa, kusetshenziswa indluzula namandla kulabo abasebancane, abasandakufika emgwaqeni nabakhiwe baba nesigubo sabesifazane. 3.3.2 Injulalwazi yobutabane enovelini ethi Bayeza Abanqobi Kule noveli babili kuphela abalingiswa abahambisana nezimo zenjulalwazi yobutabane. Njengoba kusho uMathewman (2007:20) echaza injulalwazi yobutabane ethi yenzelwa ukuthi abantu baqonde kangcono impilo jikelele nempilo abayiphilayo bona uqobo lwabo. Uqhuba athi lokhu kuqondwa kubhekiswe emphakathini nakuye umuntu ngayedwana. Uthi imizwa yomuntu, izenzo kanye nenqubo aqhuba ngayo kungaholela ekulimazeni izimpilo zabanye abantu asondelene nabo. Lo mphakathi owethulwa yile noveli ulimele wona uqobo lwawo. U-Adonis wakwaDrake uzonda abantu abamnyama ngoba omalume bakhe bahlaselwe babulawa izigebengu ezimnyama ebezisebenza engadini khona kwaMcGregor. U-Adonis uyabazonda abamnyama. Ngakolunye uhlangothi uMusa noLungile abayizingane zikaKaMathonsi zisala dengwane emva kokuthi u-Adonis esasazele unina wazo uKaMathonsi ngezinja zamnqamula uqhoqhoqho. Nazo lezi zingane ziyabazonda abamhlophe. Kanti uBertrams (2000:105) uthi: Other expresssions of adversity which may anchor the life stories of gay men and women include an early history of physical and sexual abuse, problems in establishing and maintaining intimate partnerships, and, within present cohorts of gay men and women, the impact of the AIDS epidemic. Nakuba kungabalulwanga kule ncwadi kaMngadi ukugula ngesifo sengculazi kwabalingiswa kodwa ukunenezana kwabafana laba abahlala emgwaqeni namadoda lawa abawadayiselayo kungaba nomphumela walesi sifo. Elinye iphuzu elibalulekile eliphawulwayo ngenhla imuva lomuntu okungaba ukuthi wake wadlwengulwa omunye onobulili obufana nobakhe, bese egcina esenemizwa yobulili ayibona. Lokhu kuyatholakala kule noveli kaMngadi. 75 3.3.3 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane: Impohlo “Ukwehluka” okushiwo yile njulalwazi okwesekelwe kuyo lolu cwaningo iyabonakala ngenkathi uThemba ezithathela isikhathi sakhe ekutheni aganwe. Abazali bakhe uMzimela noMaNtombela babheka izinsizwa zakweminye imizi ukuthi sezithathile amakhosikazi kodwa yena akakaganwa. Phela ukwehluka yikhona lokho ukuthi ungenzi into eyenziwa abanye abantu, noma uyenza kodwa uyenze ngesikhathi sakho, hhayi ngesikhathi abayenza ngaso bona. Abazali bakaThemba abayizwisisi le ndaba yakhe yokufunda aze athole iziqu zobudokotela engaganiwe. 3.3.4 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane: Ngeke Amadodana kaNzuza noMaZungu ahlukile. Ukuhluka kwawo kwenza ukuthi aphile impilo engafani neyabanye abafana, uFalakhe uthanda umuntu wesifazane kodwa okungeyena owohlanga olumnyama, kanti uSabelo yena uthandana nomuntu onobulili obufana nobakhe. Le njulalwazi yobutabane ku-Allan (2005) ekhuluma ngokwehluka iyahambisana nokwenzeka kule ndaba emfushane. Akusho ukuthi njengoba laba bafana bezalwa uNzuza noMaZungu kufanele benze okwenziwa yibona abazali, kufanele bathande uhlobo oluthandwa yibona abazali. Yingakho isibonelo somculo esichazwe u-Allan ngenhla singena khaxa ekuthandeni izinto ezingafani okudalwa ukuthi asifani sihlukene. 3.3.5 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane: Oqotsheni Kubukeka sengathi abomndeni ka-Ayanda abanendaba ukuthi uyintombazane kodwa ugqokisa okwabafana. Lolu hlobo lwamantombazane luze lubizwe ngokuthi ama tomboy. Uma uMandla eziganelwa uThabile abakuphawulayo njengomndeni ukuthi u-Ayanda uyazwana noThabile okuyinto engajwayelekile ngoba u-Ayanda ovame ukungazithandi izintombi zomfowabo. 76 Le njulalwazi yokwahluka iyabonakala nangenkathi uMandla exakwe ukuthi azisahambi kahle izinto phakathi kwabo noThabile uya kudadewabo u-Ayanda ayofuna iseluleko ngokwazi ukuthi bakhonzene kakhulu u-Ayanda noThabile. Nangalo lolo suku uMandla umfica engesinye nje isimo udadewabo, uhleli njengendoda ugxamalazile, uphuza utshwala ubhema nogwayi. Konke lokhu akuzwakali endabeni emfishane kuyinkinga kuMandla. Omunye angathi mhlawumbe kwakwenziwa ukuthi naye uzizele ngezakhe izinkinga ngeke anake ezinye. Nalokho kusaveza ukwehluka, u-Ayanda intombazane engafani namanye amantombazane, ngenkathi exoxa uMandla kuyabonakala ukuthi abazali bakhe iyabethusa le mpilo ka-Ayanda exoxwa uMandla. UPhelan (1997:55) ukhuluma ngamatemu asetshenziswa abaphila le mpilo uma bekhuluma, bathi “bona” uma besho abathandana nobulili obungafani, bese bethi, “thina” uma bezisho bona. Lokhu kuveza ukuthi ngaphandle kokucwasa ngabantu abaphila impilo ejwayelekile, nabo bayazihlukanisa kwabanye abantu. Lokhu kuvela sengathi bazibona bebalulekile kunabaphila impilo eqondile. UComstock (1991:47) uthi: Finding that the most valuable literature on homosexuality murder victims and offenders has been provided by freelance writers and journalists. Where as knives were used in 18% of all reported homicides in the United States in 1976. Lapha uchaza athi izintatheli ezingaqashiwe ngokuphelele yizona ezazike zibike ngezehlakalo zokubulawa kwabantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo eMelika ngonyaka we- 1976. Lapha ubuye abale izinhlobo zezikhali ezivame ukusetshenziswa lapho kubulawa abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Uqhuba athi ummese yiwona osetshenziswa kakhulu uma kusocongwa laba bantu abaphila le mpilo, nempela siyabona kuSibiya (2007:29) uMandla exova uThabile no-Ayanda ababambe oqotsheni belele embhedeni wakhe ngawo ummese. Ngenkathi eqhubeka uMandla echaza indlela isibhicongo sokufa kukamkakhe uThabile nodadewabo u-Ayanda esenzeke ngayo, uphawula ukunuka kukagwayi okumbingelele engena emnyango, izingilazi ezimbili zewayini azifice endlini yokudlela, izingubo zabo zokugqoka ezicishe zamwisa ephaseji, okubonakalayo ukuthi zikhunyulwe kusheshwa, bese 77 ebafica begonene embhedeni wakhe, yilapho angabange esabuza khona, wababhokoda ngommese wababulala. Nakuye uThabile kukhona ukwehluka lokhu okushiwo yile njulalwazi, ukugana ube nomkhwenyana kodwa futhi ube nayo eminye imizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobakho, nakho kuwukwehluka. 3.3.6 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane: Umhlaba Ushingile Abazali bakaBafana bakuqaphelile ekukhuleni kwakhe ukuthi uhlukile ngoba bayasho ukuthi ngisho esafunda lapha esikoleni samabanga aphezulu akukaze kuzwakale ukuthi ubemise intombazane. Selokhu kwathi nhlo abamazeli muntu kwabesibhuda njengoba kwenzeka kwabanye abafana abaze bashaywe emakubo ngezindaba ezithinta abesifazane. Le mpilo ehlukile ephilwa uBafana kade bayiqaphela abazali bakhe, kodwa akukaze kubafikele emiqondweni yabo ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi umntwana wabo uhlukile, uthanda abanobulili obufana nobakhe. Kukodwa nje abakwaziyo noma ngithi asebeke bakuqaphela ukuthi akahlukani nomngani wakhe uLindelani. Inzima-ke indaba yokwamukela isimo sokuthi umntwana wakho uhlukile. Umshado kaBafana noLindelani wawungeke ube khona ukuba wayengekho uSithole umngani kaMkhabela owayelokhu emkhalime njalo umngani wakhe uma esefuna ukususa uthuthuva ngale ndaba yokuthandana kukaBafana nobulili obufana nobakhe. Babambisene njengabangani kulolu sizi lukaMkhabela nasesiphethweni sendaba emfushane bazwakala bexoxa bobabili. 3.3.7 Injulalwazi yobutabane endabeni emfishane: Amalungelo Izingane zabafana zikaMaSithole zihlukene noma azifani. USipho washona ebulalwa amaphoyisa emashini eyabe iwumbhikisho noma isiteleka. Kwawulimaza kakhulu umqondo nomoya kaMaStihole wafunga wagomela ukuthi emndenini wakhe akusoze kwaba khona umuntu oyophinde angenele imashi. UThabani akafani noSipho uhlukile. Lokhu kuhluka kwakhe akakwazi unina uMaSithole. Uma ethi uya emashini, futhi uzobe ehamba phambili emashini yabo yamalungelo, uyagula 78 uMaSithole ngoba ukhumbula ukushona kukaSipho. UThabani uthi le mashi ihlelwe inhlangano yabo, akayazi uMaSithole ukuthi nhlangano yini le yoThabani. Ukuthi uhlukile uThabani akafani nabanye abafana ukuveza ngokulwela amalungelo abathandana nobulili obufanayo, futhi akafuni ukuba semdibini noma emsileni wale mashi kodwa ufuna ukuba phambili. Kule njulalwazi u-Allan (2005) nabanye ekhuluma ngokwehluka komuntu komunye okudalwa imvelo adalwe ngayo kuyabonakala nakule ndaba emfushane ngoba uThabani uyayilwelwa into akholelwa noma acabanga ukuthi uyiyona noma unina angamvimba kanjani. 3.4 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi ngale njulalwazi Umcwaningi uzuze ukuthi abantu bahlukile omunye komunye, nendlela abadalwe ngayo ayifani nhlobo. Ukucabangela ukuthi njengoba umntwana egqoka izingubo zabesilisa ungowesilisa, nogqoke ezabesifazane ungowesifazane yikhona okwenza sibambelele ekutheni bubili ubulili. Kanjalo nakumzali ukuthola umntwana ubone isitho sakhe sangasese bese ukholwa ukuthi ungumfana noma uyintombazane kuyinkinga. Kwesinye isikhathi isitho sangasese asisho ubulili ayibo. Osolwazi asebecwaningile ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo, basivula amehlo mayelana nezinhlobo zabantu, nezinhlobo zothando ezikhona emhlabeni. 3.5 Isiphetho Injulalwazi yobutabane yiyona eyakhe uhlaka okucwaningelwe phezu kwalo ngoba ithintana ngqo nokuthandana kobulili obufanayo kanye nezenzo zabalingiswa okucwaningwe ngabo.Kulesi sahluko kucutshungulwe okushiwo yile njulalwazi kanye nokuthi yeyemene kanjani nendikimba yobutabane esemibhalweni ecwaningwayo. Le njulalwazi yakhe uhlaka impilo yobutabane encike kulona. Isahluko sesine sibheka okwenziwa abalingiswa abathandana nobulili obufanayo njengoba kuvela emanovelini acwaningiwe. 79 ISAHLUKO 4 UKUVEZWA KWEMICABANGO NEZENZO ZABALINGISWA ZOBUTABANE EMANOVELINI ACWANINGIWE. 4.1 Isingeniso Uhlaziyomibhalo okuyindlela okwenziwe ngayo lolu cwaningo ibheka imicabango yabalingiswa emanovelini amabili akhethiwe. Lesi sahluko sichaza ngokuvezwa kwabalingiswa enovelini kaSibiya ethi, “Bengithi Lizokuna” nekaMngadi ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi”. Lawa manoveli ahlaziywe ngayinye njengoba kuyindlela esetshenziswe kulolu cwaningo. Kulesi sahluko kuchazwe ngemicabango yabalingiswa kuwo womabili amanoveli. Kuchazwa ukuthi izenzo nemicabango yabalingiswa iyiveza kanjani inkathi yamanje. Umcwaningi ubuye adingide okwethulwa yizihloko zamanoveli acwaningiwe. Ubheka nobudlelwano obukhona endikimbeni yabathandanayo bobulili obufanayo kanye nendikimba yothando. Lapha kubhekwe indlela abaziphatha ngayo abalingiswa bale mibhalo ecwaningiwe nemiphumela yezenzo zabo zobutabane kubantu abasonndelene nabo. Okuphawulwa ababhali ngobulili kumntwana esemncane: UBlumenfeld (1992:24) ubika athi: A social role is any pattern of behaviour to which an individual is expected to conform, a gender role any social role linked with concepts of musculinity and feminity. People are thus squeezed into gender envelopes. Ephawula uBlumenfeld (1992) ngenhla ngendaba yobulili uthi le ndaba yobulili uyifanisa nokuvalelwa ekopini, akubiza nge “queezed into gender envelopes” athi uma usuvalelwe phakathi awukwazi kunyakaza. Ingane yentombazane isuke isithengelwe onodoli neyomfana izibhamu nezimabuli. Lapha uthi akusekho ukukhetha, lokhu akubona kungukwenziswa izinto zalobo bulili ngenkani. Umcwaningi uyavumelana nokusiwo uBlumenfeld 1992 ngenhla. Amanoveli acwaningiwe abaveza njengabantu abaphoqelekile ukuphila impilo eyejwayelekile, okungukuthi njengoba 80 bezelwe bengabafana sekufanele baphile njengabafana. Lokho-ke akuhlukene nokuvalelwa emvilophini yobulili njengoba kusho umbhali ngenhla. Ukuba khona kukamama womntwana empilweni yomntwana wakhe nakho kunegalelo elithile ebulilini azoba yibo. Uma engekho maningi amathuba okuthi loyo mntwana womfana aphenduke noma azenze intombazane. Kunesikhala sikanina empilweni yakhe. UBailey (2003:11) uthi: The psychiatrist told Danny’s mother that his (Danny’s) feminine behaviour was a direct consequence of her being unavailable to him during his first year - that because she was an absent mother. Danny had reconstructed a substitute woman in himself. Echaza uthi unina kaDanny waqeda ukubeletha maqede wabuyela emsebenzini, akangahlala nosana lwakhe. Ochwepheshe bezengqondo (Psychologists) baphawula bathi isenzo sikaDanny sokuthanda ukuba owesifazane sisuka ekutheni akakaze aluthole uthando lomuntu wesifazane ongunina ngenkathi esemncane kakhulu. NoBailey (2003) okhuluma ngeqhaza likamama ekukhuliseni umntwana unabo ubufakazi emanovelini acwaningwayo ngoba omama babantwana abahlala emigwaqweni yasePhoyinti enovelini kaMngadi abazikhulisanga lezi zingane zabo. Isizathu ukuthi bashona lezi zingane zisencane kakhulu. Kuyafakazeleka nokushiwo uBailey (2003) nakwekaSibiya inoveli ngoba unina kaMhlengi uyashona emva kokumbeletha. Okungukuthi kuyiqiniso ukuthi umama unalo igalelo ekukhetheni ubulili umntwana wakhe azoba yibo uma ekhula. Kanti uBailey (2003:175) uthi: “I am a woman in a man’s body” and “a man in a woman’s body” Lapha ngenhla ukhuluma ngendoda ebhajwe emzimbeni wesifazane kanye nowesifazane obhajwe emzimbeni wesilisa. Lapha uveza ngokusobala ukuthi lobu bulili obubonakala ngaphandle kulaba bantu kusuke kungahambelani nendlela abazizwa ngayo. 81 Abalingiswa abafana noMhlengi enovelini kaSibiya ecwaningiwe bayahambisana noBailey (2003) ngenhla. Isizathu salokho ukuthi nangu eguqula ubulili abe yintombazane ngoba kusho khona ukuthi uyintombazane ebhajwe emzimbeni womfana. Ababhali bamanoveli acwaningiwe basebenzise abalingiswa abehlukene ngeminyaka, abasemazingeni ahlukene ezemfundo, abahlala ezindaweni zasemakhaya, abanye bahlala ezindaweni zasedolobheni. Lokhu kuveza indlela abantu bemiphakathi eyahlukene engamaZulu abacabanga ngayo ngokuthandana kwabanobulili obufanayo ngoba abalingiswa bayisibuko somphakathi. 4.2 Imicabango yabalingiswa enovelini Bayeza Abanqobi UGombela noNcamuncamu KuMngadi (2012:16) uNcamuncamu uhlala uMusa ngobhongwane ngenkathi emnukubeza ngokocansi. Laba abesilisa bobabili. UMusa njengomfana osemncane ofica izinsansa zamadoda amadala lapha emgwaqeni, kufanele aphenduke isimame soyedwa walawa madoda ukuze athole ukuvikeleka ekunukubezweni amanye amadoda. UJohnson ephawula kujenali ethi “Homosexuality: Nature or Nurture uthi umuntu ophila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe kugqama ngalesi sikhathi ethomba. Ngokujwayelekile umntwana uma ethomba usuke engakaze azimbandakanye nocansi, ngakho noma ulwazi ngocansi enalo, kodwa usuke engakaze alwenze. Uthi ngakho yena uyakholelwa ekutheni indlela umntwana akhuliswe ngayo ingamenza aphile le mpilo yobutabane. Uma sibheka enovelini ecwaningwayo, akukho lapho okuvela khona uMusa enentombi, okungukuthi njengoba enukubezwa uNcamuncamu nje, akayazi le nto emehlelayo, yena wazi ukuthi ungumfana, kumele aqonywe owesifazane ngakho lesi simo esibuhlungu esimehlelayo siyawulimaza umqondo walo mfana. Lapha uMusa akayithandi le nto emehlakalelayo, akayifuni ngenhliziyo yakhe yonke, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi uNcamuncamu uyakuthokozela lokhu kuzenelisa kwakhe ngezingane zabafana ezisanda kufika lapha emgwaqeni. UMusa uyabazi ubuhlungu bokunukubezwa ngoba wayezwa udadewabo uLungile ekhala enukubezwa umalume wabo uGombela (Mngadi 2012:6). 82 Kuyavela futhi kuyo inoveli ukuthi uMusa noLungile baze bayohlala nomalume wabo nje ukuthi abasenabo abazali. Ubuhlungu, intukuthelo, nemibuzo izingane eziyizintandane eziba nayo ngobuntandane bazo. UMusa wabe eseba nenhliziyo enamahlule. Isizathu salokho ukungabi nabazali, nakhaya uGuerrero (2005:10), athi yizimo esibhekene nazo nsuku zonke emiphakathini yethu eziholela ekutheni abantwana bagcine beyizisulu zokunukubezwa ngokocansi emadolobheni kanjalo nasemakhaya. Idolobha laseThekwini endaweni yasePhoyinti yilona eliyisizinda sale mikhuba kule noveli. Lokho okubalulwa uGuerrero kuyahlaluka ngoba uma kuke kwaphathwa leli gama lendawo “iPhoyinti” umuntu olaziyo iTheku usuke esazi ukuthi ukhuluma ngendawo enjani, ehlala abantu abanjani. Abantu abaningi abafisi ukuzimbandakanya noma ukuvakashela le ndawo. Nakho ukufika kukaMusa kule ndawo yasePhoyinti umuntu ongazi ngosizi abhekene nalo, angacabanga ukuthi uyingane ebalekele umthetho wabazali ekhaya ngoba ifuna ukuzilawula kanti akunjalo, izinkinga nezingqinamba zokweswela isiqondiso somzali. Ngokwe-website www.nmha.org efundwe mhla ziyisi-5 kuNtulikazi kuyavela ukuthi ubuqhwaga nokwesabisana okwenziwa izingane uma zizodwa (bullying) kuholela ekutheni zidle izidakamizwa kanye nasekwenzeni ucansi olungavikelekile. Lokhu siyakubona emigwaqeni yasePhoyinti lapho abafana abancane asebeqembuke kabili kukhona abayiqembu labelungu elizonda abamnyama, kanye nelabamnyama elizonda abamhlophe (Mngadi 2013:80). Balwa kucishe kuphume isidumbu oMusa no-Adonis ngenxa yenzondo abanayo. UWright kuyena uGuerrero (2005:14) uchaza ngenkinga ebhekene nelunga elilodwa lomphakathi ukuthi igcina isiyinkinga yomndeni wonke ize ibe inkinga yomphakathi wonkana. Kuyafakazeleka lokhu ngezingane zikaKaMathonsi uMusa noLungile ezingasenakhaya ezingasenamzali ukuthi ukuyohlala kwamalume wazo kwenza uGombela abone ukuthi zimbiwe insele yazishiya anukubeze uLungile, (Mngadi 2012:7). Khona lapho kuvela indlela umndeni ocabanga ngayo ngokunukubezwa kukaLungile. Ubuye achaze uMusa ukuthi lobu buhlungu babuyisinkwa semihla ngemihla kuLungile ngisho udaba sebelubika kumalumekazi wabo nomndeni, kwakumbandazwa, athethiswe nje lokhu okungasho lutho umalume wabo uGombela, ayalwe nangokuthi angaphinde. Kwakuthiwa kufihlwa ichilo lomndeni indaba iphelele lapho. Okwechilo yikho lokhu okwamumilisa izimpiko zempukane umalume, elokufihla ichilo kwaba igunya lokuqhubeka nokudlwengula ingane. (Mngadi 2012:17). 83 UBrockman (1995:04) ekhuluma ngamasiko uthi inqubo elandelwa isizwe iyaguquka nezikhathi. Indlela yokucabanga yabantu ababegcina usikompilo lwabampisholo noma isizwe samaZulu, babezigwema zonke izinkinga ngokunqanda amanzi engakangeni endlini. Nazo izimo zezingane ezihlala emigwaqeni zazingakhalinywa ngandlela thize, omunye angathi kwalulula emandulo ngoba ingane kwabe kungeyomphakathi futhi ikhuliswa umphakathi. Lokhu okubekwa uBrockman ngenhla kuyashayisana nokwenzeka enovelini kaMngadi ecwaningiwe. Abantu abadala okuyibona okumele babe yiso ebantwaneni abayintandane, yibona ababahlukumeza ngokocansi. ONcamuncamu noGombela bazitholela idili likaMkhipheni (Mngadi 2012:16) kulaba bantwana. Pho yimuphi umphakathi ongabavikela? UBrockman (1995:33) uphinde ahlaziye ukuguquka kokucabanga kwabantu njengesimo sezulu esesishisa kakhulu noma sibande kakhulu (global warming). Abantu bebengayinakekeli imvelo izinto zilokhu zonakala kancane kancane. Manje ngoba isimo sezulu sesinje akusabuyeleki emuva. Baningi abakhala bezithulisa ngokushaya indiva imvelo bangayivikela. Izimo zempilo yethu eNingizimu Afrika zonakala kudala kancane kancane, uMngadi (2012:1-5) ubalula ubandlululo, ukusebenza kwabamnyama emajalidini emakhishini nasezingadini, kwahlwayela ukuthi izingane zabelungu zimbone engelutho umuntu omnyama noma emdala kunazo. Umcwaningi uyameseka uBrockman (1995) ngenhla. Lokhu konakala kwezinto okuchazwa ngenhla kunzima ukulungiseka kufana nayo indaba yokunukubezeka kwemvelo. UJohnson ephawula ku-athikli yakhe uthi ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo buyinhlanganisela yemvelo nokukhuliswa (nature and nurture) okungadala umonakalo ongeke usalungiseka. Kanjalo ukonakala kwezimo emindenini, emiphakathini nasesizweni sonkana, into izoqala yonakala kancane kancane kuze kufike izikhathi lapho isimo singasakwazi ukuhlehlela nyovane. Indlela abacabanga ngayo abesilisa abanukubeza izingane iyavezwa uMngadi (2012:17) ngenkathi uNcamuncamu ethi uyamfundisa uMusa ukuze azi ukuthi uyokwenzenjani uma eseqonyiwe. UNcamuncamu uthi uMusa ukuba akakufuni lokhu akwenza kuye ngesokuhlwa ngabe kade afuna umfana ozomelama, bese ephumula. Uyakugcizelela nokuthi uyamcija uMusa uma emnukubeza ukuze afike ejele eseneziqu ashaye umthetho khona esenolwazi oluphelele lwalezi zinto (Mngadi 2012:17). 84 Umcwaningi uyazibuza ukuthi nhloboni yemfundiso le ehambisana nobuhlungu obungaka? Lo thisha onguNcamuncamu akanazwelo ngisho umfanyana ekhala ngokuthi uyamlimaza? Kuvela ukuzicabangela yena nje uNcamuncamu, okungukuthi uma enelise inkanuko yakhe, kuphelile. Ukuthi laba bafana ubalimaza kangakanani engqondweni nasemzimbeni akudokwe eligayelwe yena lelo. Uyazikhalela uMusa emnukubeza okokuqala nokwesibili, esho nokuthi uyathunukala. Yena uphendula ngokuthi indoda ayihlatshwa ngomkhonto munye, (Mngadi, 2012:16). Lobu buhlungu budala ulunya nezinhliziyo ezilukhuni kubantwana abahlukunyezwe ngocansi. Abafana ababhekana nalesi simo mihla namalanga lapha emgwaqweni yasePhoyinti baphendula izilwane ezingasenanembeza. UNkosana Kuyavela nokuthi abafana abahle laba emgwaqeni babizwa ngamantombazane, (Mngadi 2012:18) lapho uNcamuncamu athi ubuhle babafanyana laba abafikayo emgwaqeni bubaklelisa emgqeni wamantombazane. UNkosana yena uzithathele isinqumo sokuba isitabane ngoba uyasho kuMngadi (2012:29) ukuthi ekhaya kubo ubalekiswe ukuthi bebengafuni athandane nabanye besilisa. Uchaza athi wayefa isibhaxu eshaywa uyise uma eke wamfica egqoke izingubo zabesifazane. Nangaleso sikhathi uMagwegwe ephuca uNcamuncamu intombi enguNkosana asebeyiqambe ngoMakhosazana ubamba umuntu wesifazane inkunzi abaleke nesikhwama sakhe. Kuleso sikhwama kutholakala amacici amasha ceke awafaka uMakhosazane bese emphaqula nangezimonyo zowesifazane ukuze aphenduke isiphalaphala sentombi yakhe, (Mngadi 2012:30). U-Adonis noDermon Laba bafana bazithola emigwaqweni yasePhoyinti, lapho okulindeleke ukuthi baziphilise ngokuthola ukudla kanjalo nokuzizamela indawo yokufihla amakhanda. Isizathu sika-Adonis sokuba lapha ePhoyinti ukubulawa kwabazali bakhe bebulawa izisebenzi ezimnyama ezazisebenza kubo. Lokhu kwenzeka emncane kakhulu u-Adonis waphoqeka ukuyohlala nobabekazi wakhe naye ongenelwa izigebengu zimbulale (Mngadi, 2012:37). 85 Ufika-nje la ePhoyinti usenokudideka emqondweni ngobulili. Okwenza umcwaningi abone kanjalo ukuthi alikho ikhaya elinabazali abaphelele akhulele kulo. Ngakho maningi amathuba okuthi athatheke noma ahuheke kalula kunoma ngabe iyiphi impilo. UPlummer (1981:68) uthi: Because the errotic preferences usually reveal themselves at puberty, it is often assumed that they were instilled by a first sexual experience at that time, or caught from exposure to errotic pictures, books or films an assumption that is responsible for much of today’s judicial panic about pornography. Ephawula uPlummer (1981) uthi kubantwana kujwayelekile ukuthi lolu hlobo lwempilo luvela ngesikhathi befika ezingeni labo lokukhula. Uqhuba athi ezinye izinto ezenza bacabange ukuthi bayilolu hlobo lwabantu:  Izimo abake bahlangabezana nazo bekhula, okungaba ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi umuntu onobulili obufana nobakhe.  Izithombe zocansi (pornography) aseke wazibona.  Amabhuku ocansi namabhayisikobho nokunye. Umcwaningi uyavumelana noPlummer (1981) ngoba kule noveli ecwaningwayo kaMngadi lezi zimo abantwana abahlala emigwaqeni yeTheku abahlangabezana nazo, nalezi zimo zidalwa ukuhlukunyezwa yilabo abadala kunabo. Kanti labo abangahlali emigwaqeni abanamakhaya bakhonze lezi zinto zobuchwepheshe ezifana nomabonakude nomakhalekhukhwini lapho abazitika khona ngezithombe zocansi. Yingakho lo mbono kaPlummer umcwaningi eweseka. U-Adonis ubaxoxela ukuthi ezintandaneni indoda eyayibaqapha yayibenza amanina bonke abafana eyayingumelusi wabo, (Mngadi 2012:37). Ephendula lapho uMadimoni (Dermon) uthi akufanele o-Adonis bamzonde umalusi wabo, kodwa abambonge ngolwazi asebanike lona ngoba wayebacebisa ukuze bakwazi ukubhekana nomhlaba. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uDragon (Adonis) usekwamukele ukuba isigqila sikaMadimoni socansi. Bobabili base bekhokhelwa ngokwenza ucansi nabesilisa ezindlini zangasese zakhona lapha emigwaqeni yasePhoyinti. 86 KuMngadi (2012:48) umbhali uchaza impilo yasemgwaqeni njengeSodoma lapho izingane zesilisa nezesifazane ziphila ngokudayisa umzimba bese kuthi ezamantombazane ziqomane nezinye zamantombazane ezikhona la emgwaqeni nabafana nabo banenezane bodwa. Negama elithi iSodoma liyahambisana nokwenzekayo ngoba lithathelwe encwadini engcwele iBhayibheli, lapho okukhulunywa khona ngezenzo ezinyantisa igazi ezazenzeka kulelo zwe. UMngadi (2012:58) uthi kunamadoda amabili afike la emgwaqeni ahalela ucansi abe eseyengela abafana ababili ocansini ebethembise ukubakhokhela kanti azozenelisa maqede abafake unyawo. Kwenye ingxenye uDragon ubuya esibhedlela emva kokugwazana noNgwazi esesulekile ngoba kade ephoqwa ngokugeza. UMadimoni akumphathi kahle lokhu uze athi umngani wakhe uDragon abesilisa sebezombanga ngoba usemuhle, yena aswele abazothenga kuyena (Mngadi 2012:66). UReid (2013:34) ephawula naye uthi: Fashion is seen to embody the anticipation of new possibilities generated by rapid and continuous social change. Ngemfashini uReid uchaza ukuthi nempilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo kungenye yezindlela zemfashini kwabanye. Lokhu kushintsha kwezimo zempilo okuchazwa uReid (2013) umcwaningi ukubona kuhambisana nesikhathi samanje lapho sekuvumelekile ukuthi abantu bathandane nobulili obufana nobabo. Leli gunya balisebenzisa ngoba besekwa uMthethosisekelo waseNingizimu Afrika, lokhu okuveza ukuhluka kwezikhathi njengoba echaza ngenhla. Eqinisile uReid ngenhla ngoba laba bafana bazwakala bephila impilo ejwayelekile kodwa le mpilo yokulala nabanobulili besilisa bakwenzela ukuthola imali. UMusa eseqonywe uLinda ongumlungu khona emgwaqeni yasePhoyinti umxoxela ukuthi wakufundiswa kanzima nakabuhlungu lokho ayokwenza entombazaneni uma eseqonyiwe efundiswa uNcamuncamu (Mngadi 2012:82). Kuyamkhathaza uMusa lokhu ngoba yena ngenkathi egcwelezwa uNcamuncamu akakaze abuzwe ubumnandi, manje noLinda uzozwa le nto ayizwa? Kubukeka kunokushayisana phakathi kwezenzo zikaNcamuncamu kanye nayekusho ngenkathi egcweleza uMusa. Kuyahlaluka ukuthi izimo umntwana ahlangabezana nazo esemncane kwezocansi ziyamlimaza ebudlelwaneni bakhe bezothando uma esekhulile. 87 Ingcindezi ekubangani nayo inomthelela ongemuhle ekuziphatheni kwabantwana abasakhulayo. UBlumenfeld (1992:97) ucaphune intombazanyama eneminyaka eyi-14, ikhuluma ithi: “I’d have sex just to prove I was straight” Yona yaqala ukwenza ucansi ngenxa yokuthi abangani bayo babeyibelesele ngokuthi iyisitabane yingakho ingalali nesoka layo. Ichaza ithi yagcina isiyenza ucansi ukuze kuvele ukuthi iphila impilo eqondile ayithandani nobulili obufana nobayo. Laphaya emigwaqeni yasePhoyinti kuyafakazeleka lokhu ngenkathi u-Adonis Drake noDermon Damon bephenduka amathe nolimi bangakhuzani ekwenzeni izinto ezingalungile ezifana nokudayisa ngomzimba, ukubamba inkunzi, ukulwa nokubulala abamnyama. Lokhu akushoyo uBlumenfeld (1981) ngenhla kuyafakazeleka. Abangani lapha baholelana ophathe. Aphinde aqhube athi uBlumenfeld (1981:97) athi: Young people have sex for many reasons: fun and pleasure, to defy parents and other authority figures, for love, money, status among their peers, out of boredom, because they are under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, for attention, affection, and intimacy, and to prove that they are normal (heterosexual). Nakulesi siqeshana kuyavela ukuthi ziningi zizizathu ezenza abantu abasha bazimbandakanye nocansi. Njengoba zibaliwe ngenhla izizathu zokwenza ucansi kwabantu abasha, izizathu ezifana nemali, isizungu, ukuba ngaphansi kokuqhutshwa uphuzo oludakayo, ukunakwa, ukwaneliseka, ubudlelwano bokuqinisekisa ukuthi awuyiso isitabane. Ngempela lezi zizathi zokuzimbandakanya ocansini azibalulayo uBlumenfeld (1981) ziyavela kulaba bafanyana basemgwaqeni abadayise ngocansi emadodeni azothenga ePhoyinti. Kubona nowafika engazi lutho ngokulala nabesilisa uyafundiswa, agcine esejwayele, naye esekwenza lokhu ukuze: • Athole imali. • Abe nabangani ahambisana nabo. (ukwamukelwa eqenjini) • Athenge futhi adle izidakamizwa. • Abambe inkunzi. 88 UPlummer (1981:19) uphawula ngendlela yokuziphatha kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo, ubeka athi: Labelling produces deviants and deviant behaviour. Uchaza athi indlela abaphathwa ngayo abathandana nobulili obufanayo kugcina kuyishintsha nendlela bona abaziphatha ngayo. Uqhuba athi uma sekufakwe isitembu sobutabane kumuntu akubi lula ukuthi angabe esaziphatha ngale ndlela abantu abambuka ngayo. Lokhu siyakuthola kuMngadi ukuthi abafanyana abafike emigwaqeni yasePhoyinti bayadlwengulwa abadala kunabo, babafundise ukubamba inkunzi nokugwazana ngemimmese, bagcine sebeyimidlwembe. U-Adonis ufika engayazi yonke le migilingwane, bese efundiswa uDermon ukuthi kuphilwa kanjani kule ndawo. Lapha uPlummer ukhuluma ngomuntu ongenayo imizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe, kodwa abantu belokhu bembiza ngamagama okubizwa ngabo laba bantu mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi umzimba wakhe udalwe wafana nowobulili angesibona noma bethathela endleleni aziphatha ngayo, noma aphila ngayo. Uma engajwayele ukwenza lokhu okwenziwa abantu bobulili obufana nobakhe bese evele ebizwa ngesitabane. Le mpilo yethulwa ababhali njengempilo okungelula ukuyemukela kwakuye lowo onale mizwa. Uma naye engakaziqondi kahle, bese abantu besho lokhu kuye kuyamholela ekutheni agcine eyikhethile le mpilo. Kanti uHerdt (1989:23) uchaza athi: Youth must deal with the increasing disparily between their own inner desires and desired external objects- romantic partners, new cultural roles – and a working through of the preconceptions that increasingly frustrate and even strangle them. Njengoba sazi ukuthi ubunjalo bobulili bomntwana buvela kahle ngenkathi efika ebangeni lokuthomba. NgokukaHerdt yisona sikhathi lesi lapho umntwana azizwa ngaso ukuthi imizwa yakhe ithanda abe nobudlelwano babuphi ubulili. Uma enemizwa yobutabane yilapho okuba khona ukushayisana phakathi kwemizwa yakhe nalokho okulindelwe kuye njengokobulili azalwe eyibo. 89 Umcwaningi uyavumelana nokushiwo uHerdt (1989) ngenhla ngesimo sokuthi u-Adonis noDermon bangamabhungu, yisona sikhathi lesi lapho abakwazi khona ukuzwisisa okuyizidingo zemizimba yabo kwezobudlelwano. Kube ukuthi umuntu uyazikhethela ukuthi uba nobudlelwane bothando nabafana noma namantombazane. Abalingiswa abafana no-Adonis no Dragon nakuba bezazi ukuthi bangabafana kepha isimo sempilo sigcina sibenza bazithole sebedayisa ngomzimba ukuze baphile, bangabe besakwenza lokhu okulindeleke ebafaneni ukuqonywa amantombazane, konke kufakazele ukuphawula kukaHerdt. Lezi zenzo zabo zibaveza njengezitabane, bese bengena khaxa kulolu cwaningo olwenziwe. 4.3 Imicabango yabalingiswa enovelini: Bengithi Lizokuna Abazali bangakwazi ukuqaphela izenzo zomntwana wabo uma zinakho ukuzenza ubulili angazalwanga eyibo. Lokhu bangakubona ngendlela ahamba ngayo, izinto adlala ngazo, okukugqoka nokunye. UBailey (2003:5) ukhuluma athi: A two and a half year old Danny discovered in his sisters room, playing with her dolls, dress up clothes, pretend make-up kit. Ebeka uBailey (2003) ukhuluma ngomfanyana oneminyaka emibili ogama lakhe uDanny athi njalo otholakala endlini kadadewabo uMary eziphaqula ngezimonyo zikadadewabo, azipende nomlomo aze agqoke nezingubo zikadadewabo. Okuvelayo kuBailey ukuthi bashesha abazali bakaDanny ukuqaphela izenzo zakhe ezinobuntombazane. Uma ubheka imibhalo ecwaningiwe, ikakhulukazi umbhalo kaSibiya awuvezi ukuthi uNgidi kukhona ake wakuqaphela kumfana wakhe uMhlengi esemncane. Mhlawumbe ukuba wayekhona unina kaMhlengi engashonanga ngenkathi embeletha wayeyokuqaphela lokhu uMhlengi esemncane. Phela unina womntwana wuyena okwazi ukubona lonke ushintsho oluba khona kumntwana ngenkathi ekhula. Yingakho lokhu kwenza kukaMhlengi esemdala kumethusa uNgidi njengoba ebhoboza ithumba akade engazi uyise ukuthi likhona, leli lokuba isitabane. 90 Nakuba le noveli kaSibiya ingethuli ubutabane obujwayelekile noma-ke lobu esibaziyo bokuthi umntwana ozelwe engumfana aziphathise okwentombazane, noma ozelwe eyintombazane aziphathise okomfana, kodwa iveza indikimba yobutabane ngoba uMhlengi uziguqula ubulili ngoba ezwa imizwa yakhe ingahambisani nobulili azalwe eyibona okungubufana. Kunabalingiswa abamazi engumfana, bese kuba nabalingiswa abamazi eseyisiphalaphala sentokazi esho ngezwi eliyisihosha. Umlingiswa osemqoka uMhlengi uSibiya (2008:12) uthi amaphupho akhe eminyaka ayesezofezeka, aphile impilo okwase kuyiminyaka ayilangazelela, le yokuba intombazane uma eseguqulwe ubulili. Akasho ukuthi yisimo sokudalwa ayeyiso uMhlengi kodwa uthi impilo akade eyilangazelela. Lapha uSibiya ugcizelela ukuthi kwakuyiphupho likaMhlengi ukuba umuntu wesifazane. Ilungelo lokuphila impilo oyifisayo walibamba ngazo zombili uMhlengi, wazibekela nemali ukuze afeze iphupho lakhe. UMhlengi akumthikamezanga ukuthi umndeni nomphakathi ulindeleni noma ulindele aphile mpiloni kodwa isinqumo sakhe sabe singujuqu engalindele muntu ukuthi afake isigxivizo kulokho akuhlelayo. KuSibiya (2008:12) kuvela ukuthi kukhona lolu hlobo lomuntu uMhlengi ayefisa ukuba uyena, umuntu wesifazane. KuSibiya (2008:13) usitshela ukuthi uMhlengi wayesehlele konke ngokuguqula kwakhe ubulili, enze nesiqiniseko esikhulu sokuthi akasebenzisi imali kayise kodwa usebenzisa ephume ezithukuthukwini zakhe ukuze ekugcineni aziqhenye ngenkululeko yakhe futhi abe neqholo lokuthi akakweleti muntu ngempilo yakhe entsha azoyithola emva kwakho konke lokhu kukhandleka. Imicabango kaMhlengi yokuthi uyintombazane ebhajwe emzimbeni womfana nomqondo wokuziguqula wawusugxile kakhulu engqondweni yakhe. Wabe esesusa zonke izinto ezingaba isiphazamiso ezinhlelweni zakhe njengokuhlukana noNontobeko, (Sibiya 2008:18). Ngenkathi uSibiya ebhala le noveli uyakuveza ukuthi uMhlengi wayenjani ebusweni nomzimba wonkana. Lokhu ukwenzela ukusakhela isithombe salo mfana kodwa onezimpawu zabesifazane. KuSibiya (2008:14) uchaza athi uMhlengi wayempofu ngebala kungakaze kumile ntshebe emihlathini, enesikhumba esihle esithambile. Amashiya emahle emancanyanyana sengathi acweliwe, izinwele eziyimiyeko ezelukwe kahle ezicwazimulayo 91 okukhomba ukuthi ziyanakekelwa. Lesi sithombe esakheka emiqondweni yabafundi benoveli siyamethula uMhlengi njengesitabane. Ubuye abalule izinto azenzayo njengokuzibuka njalo esibukweni, ukuziphephetha ngeduku elimhlophe qwa nokuhamba atshikize, kanye nokuziqhola ngesiqholo esibizayo esigqamisa isithombe somfana oyiqhathanzipho ngokweqile (Sibiya 2008:14). USibiya (2008:22) ugqamisa imicabango kaNgidi uyise kaMhlengi ngendodana yakhe aseyithengele ipulazi, athi uma ingalithandi mhlawumbe umkayo yena uyothanda ukuba umlimi. Naye uNgidi uzikhumbula ezotshela abazali bakhe ukuthi usefuna ukuganwa, uthi kwakungelula neze, ngakho nokubindwa isidwa lokhu okubelesele uMhlengi ukucabanga njengento efanele ngoba mhlawumbe uzobika khona ukuthi usefuna ukuganwa (Sibiya 2008:23). Kanti ushaye phansi kwashunqa akukona eze ngakho uMhlengi lokhu akucabangayo. Kanti uHollibaugh (2000:55) ubalula athi: People are really terrified of having sexuality, especially children’s sexuality, discussed as a primary issue. Ebalula ngokwesaba ukuxoxa ngezindaba ezithinta imizwa yobulili uHollibaugh (2000) uthi akusiyona nto evamisile ukuxoxa ngayo emindenini yethu, ikakhulukazi izindaba ezithinta ubulili nokuziphatha kwezingane zethu. Uthi nakho ukuxoxa ngakho, uma unayo le mizwa kunzima ukuthi uyibike kubazali nakwabanye abantu osondelene nabo. KuNgidi akungeni emqondweni ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi uMhlengi athi uyisitabane? Kanjani ngoba yena wazala umfana? Indlela acabanga ngayo iyagqama uma esethi uMhlengi akathathe amasakana akhe aphume aphele emzini wakhe, (Sibiya 2008:24). UNgidi uze amethembise ukumsakaza ubuchopho ngenhlamvu uMhlengi. Umlingiswa ongumngani kaMhlengi ababefunda naye eTekhnikhoni uMandla ukhala ngendlela yempilo kaMhlengi avele wayikhetha esikhaleni nje, eyenza ukuthi bangabe besazwana kuSibiya (2008:94) uchaza maqede anyiphe uMandla okukhombisayo ukuthi nale ndlela akhuluma ngayo kaMhlengi yayimcika. Kuhlaluka ukuthi akahambisani nobutabane uMandla ngoba wabachazela oNgidi ukuthi ubungani babo baphela kanjalo. Ephawula ngokuhlukumezeka kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo uComstock (1991:38) uthi: 92 Specific kinds of physical violence include objects thrown, chased or followed, spit at, punched, hit, kicked or beaten, with the exception of the university campuses where these incidents were not reported. UComstock (1991) ngenhla uchaza athi abathandana nobulili obufanayo babejikijelwa ngamatshe, bejahwa uma bebonakala noma balandelwe isinyelela ukuze bashaywe, bakhahlelwe noma balinyazwe ngezikhali, abanye babakhwife ngamathe. Uqhuba athi ezikhungweni zemfundo ephakeme aziziningi izigameko zokuhlukunyezwa kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo. Lokhu okushiwo uComstock kuyafakazeleka enovelini kaSibiya ngoba uMhlengi ukuthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe kugqama uma esefunda eMangosuthu, lapho abangani bakhe abangahambisani nalolu hlobo lwempilo abanjengoMandla bathatha isinqumo sokuziqhelelanisa naye. Njengomcwaningi ngibuka ukuthi ezikhungweni zemfundo ephakeme yini le edala ukuthi abaphila le mpilo baziveze ngokukhululeka khona uma kuqhathaniswa nemiphakathi abaphuma kuyo? Impendulo yombuzo ongenhla isekutheni ezikhungweni zemfundo ephakeme akekho umuntu onesikhathi somunye, wonke umuntu uzinakele utaku lwakhe, okuyizifundo. Isikhathi sokubheka ukuthi ubani uqonywa abafana noma amantombazane akunakeki kangako. Nasemiphakathini kungaba njalo umuntu nomuntu azinakele izindaba zakhe, ukuze kube khona ukuthula, umuntu anganaki impilo ephilwa ngomunye. UBailey (2003:23) ugcizelela ngokuthi abafana abayizitabane abasithandi isitho somzimba sabesilisa abadalwe benaso ngenxa yokuthi emqondweni yabo kuyabelesela ukuthi fanele ngabe bangamantombazane. Yingakho-ke izenzo zabo zokugqoka okwabesifazane, badlale ngamathoyizi amantombazane kanye nokuhambisa okwabesifazane kuvamile kubantwana abakulesi simo. Lokhu abanawo amandla okukwenza ukuze baziveze ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, bayakwenza. Labo abanawo amandla okuguqula ubulili bayakwenza lokho ngoba ngempela basuke bengasidingi isitho sangasese abazalwe naso. 93 UNgidi ubiza le ndlela yempilo kaMhlengi ngamanyala lawa amxoshela wona emzini wakhe (Sibiya 2008:113). UNgidi ucabanga ukuthi kwakungukudideka kwesikhashana okwakuhlasele umfana wakhe. Uma eseyomfuna ehamba noNontobeko unethemba lokuthi yinto engasekho emqondweni wakhe le yobutabane amtshela yona. Ovuthondabeni lwale noveli kuhlaluka ukuthi isinqumo sikaMhlengi sokukhetha impilo yobutabane waze waguqula ubulili, salimaza izimpilo zabalingiswa abaningi (Sibiya 2008:148). Kubalingiswa abalinyalelwa zimpilo zabo ngesinqumo esathathwa uMhlengi siyamfaka naye uqobo ngoba impilo yokuba owesifazane yahamba kahle ekuqaleni emva kokuguqula ubulili kodwa ngasemaphethelweni yamxaka. UMhlengi / Mahlengi Kulo mlingiswa ngisebenzisa lawa magama omabili ngoba uSibiya usethulela yena engumfana onguMahlengi ekuqaleni kwenoveli, bese eya koguqula ubulili eKapa abe nguMahlengi oyintokazi. UMcbribe kuJohnson (2005:69) bathi kungakuhle kube khona abantu abakhulumela izinkulungwane ngezinkulungwane zabantu abaze bafe nezimfihlo ngobulili babo obuyiqiniso. Uqhuba athi ukuzenzisa kuveza ukungabi naqiniso kuwena uqobo. UMhlengi akakuvumelanga lokhu kufela phakathi okwebutho lakwaZulu okwenzeka kwabanye abantu njengokuchaza kukaJohnson. Waqala ngakho impela ukuthandana nobulili obuhlukile engathi uphila impilo ejwayelekile ngoba siyezwa endabeni ukuthi wayethandana noNontobeko, kodwa lokho wathatha isinqumo sokukushintsha ngenkathi eseguqula ubulili bakhe. Ube nayo imicabango emihle yodwa uMhlengi ngempilo azoyiphila uma eseguqule ubulili, (Sibiya 2008:130) lapho ayesenqume wahlela, walungisa konke ngempilo yakhe entsha. Omunye umfundi wale noveli angathi ayekuphupha ngempilo yakhe entsha uMahlengi akufezekanga, kodwa umcwaningi ubona konke kwafezeka. Kwahamba kahle konke ekuhlinzweni kwakhe, wabuya eThekwini wazoqala ibhizinisi lokucwala izinwele, esebenzisa ithuba elalivulwe uHulumeni lokuxhasa abesifazane abanamabhizinisi amancane ukuze bathuthuke. Kanjalo nezesheli zase zikhona, nesoka elinguNdumiso esenalo. 94 U-Isaacs (1992:40) ukhuluma ngomonakalo ongadaleka empilweni yomuntu othandaubulili obufana nobakhe. Uchaza le mpilo njengempilo egcwele ukwesaba. Okufakazela okushiwo u-Isaacs, nangu uMhlengi edla amazambane ashisayo uma kufanele alwethule kuNgidi lolu daba, kuSibiya (2008:23) lapho ethi: “Baba uyangithanda? Ukuthi lokhu engizokusho is going to test the unconditional love othi ungithanda ngayo” Akulula ukuthi avele alubhadlaze lolu daba olubucayi kangaka. Isizathu sokwesaba ukuthi uMhlengi akazi ukuthi uyise uzoluthatha kanjani lolu daba. Ukuguqula ubulili uMhlengi wabona kuyindlela engcono ngoba uzokhululeka angabi umfana ozenza intombazane kodwa abamazi eseguquliwe bamazi eyintombazane. Eqhuba incazelo yakhe u-Isaacs uthi othanda ubulili obufana nobakhe angasaba:  Ukulaxazwa umndeni, izihlobo nabangani uma esephumele obala.  Ukulwiswa yilabo abangahambisani nokuthandana kobulili obufanayo.  Ukusaba ukuphila ngenxa yezinselelo ababhekana nazo, aze afise ukuzibulala.  Ukungakwazi ukuzibamba (angakwazi ukufihla imizwa yakhe yokuthanda ubulili obufanayo) Lokhu okushiwo u-Isaacs (1992) akahlangabezani nakho umlingiswa onguMhlengi kule noveli. Isizathu salokhu ukuzimela, uyazisebenzela, imali azoyisebenzisa ukufeza leli phupho lakhe ayiphumi komunye umuntu kodwa izithukuthuku zakhe. Uma uNgidi esemxoshile, unquma ukuqala kabusha impilo yakhe esengomunye umuntu, abantu abakade bemazi kuqala esenguMhlengi uyabagudluza yena qobo empilweni yakhe, hhayi ukuthi kuze kube yibona abamlaxazayo njengoba kuchaza u-Isaacs. Ovuthondabeni simthola esezisola ngokweqile ngesinqumo asithatha sokuguqula ubulili, udliwa unembeza uma sekufike qathatha uNontobeko, uNgidi noXolani efulethini lakhe. Lokhu kufakazelwa u-Isaacs (1995:45) lapho athi khona kwesinye isikhathi kusuke kungasekho ukubuyela emuva umuntu aguqule isinqumo asithatha. NakuMhlengi / Mahlengi isimo sasesinjalo esiphethweni senoveli. Kanti uBertram (2000:87) kuvela ukuthi: 95 If parents are aware that their son is different and they make presumably well-intentioned efforts to steer him into the kind of activities expected of “normal” boys his age. UBertrams uqinisile ngoba abazali bayakwenza lokhu bengaboni ukuthi sebeyamphoqa umntwana wabo ukuthi abe yile nto angesiyona. Lokhu siyakuthola kuNgidi uyise kaMhlengi eba namathemba angekho okuthi uMhlengi usaguquka kulokhu amtshela khona yingakho emlethelele uNontobeko ukuze amgane, esiphethweni sendaba. UNontobeko Buningi ubunzima ayesedlule kubo uNontobeko ngothando ayenalo lukaMhlengi. Ukushayiswa imoto ehamba edwanguza emva kokwaliwa uMhlengi angasisho isizathu sokuhlukana kwabo (Sibiya 2008:44). Usizi lokushiya uNkululeko kuzosa bashade, ichilo nehlazo akuthele emndenini wakhe, ngoba uma umakoti eqe kuzoshadwa kubukeka sengathi abazali bakhe basuke bengamkhulisile kahle. Ukweqa kwakhe akumnandi nakuyena, (Sibiya 2008:64) Kulo lolo sizi lokuhamba ethungathana noMhlengi uthola ukuthi uNkululeko usezibulele. KuSibiya (2008:101) uNontobeko uyazibeka icala ngokufa kukaNkululeko njengoba ezikhungile emva kokuhamba kwakhe eyocinga uMhlengi. Uma amaphupho kaNontobeko esefezekile umseshi ozimele uShezi esemtholile uMhlengi wakhe akade emfuna bandla, uzithela phezu kwengwadla yokuthi uMhlengi usaziguqula ubulili waba isiphalaphala sentokazi (Sibiya 2008:148). Ashabalala okwamazolo ebona ilanga amaphupho kaNontobeko okuthola uMhlengi babuyelane bashade, wafa olwembiza. Isinqumo sikaMhlengi sokuguqula ubulili ngoba enemizwa yobulili obufana nobakhe siyamlimaza kakhulu uNontobeko kuze kufe noNkululeko ngenxa yakhe. Siyafunda ukuthi izinqumo esizithathayo ngezimpilo zethu zinawo umthelela ekulimazeni izimpilo zabantu abasondelene nathi. Okunye okuphawulekayo ukuthi UMhlengi eyakhe impilo yayingamile ngenjekaNontobeko. Yena uMhlengi wayesekhululekile esephila njengentombazane. UNontobeko yena wahluleka noma ethi uyazama ukuqhubeka nempilo emva kokwaliwa uMhlengi. 96 UNgidi USibiya (2008:22) usitshela ngenjabulo ababenayo oNgidi benonina kaMhlengi ngenkathi bezwa ukuthi uzothola umntwana womfana. Yonke leyo njabulo yaphazanyiswa ukushona kukamama kaMhlengi ngenkathi embeletha. Yonke le micabango iphithene ekhanda likaNgidi njengoba uMhlengi esekhule waze waba ngaka wafunda waze wasebenza. UBailey (2003:11) wethula umbiko kaSonhlalakahle oweluleka ngokwengqondo unina kaDanny uthi: Danny’s feminine behaviour was a direct consequence of her being unavailable to him during his first year – that she was an absent mother, Danny had constructed a substitute woman in himself. Ubeka athi uBailey (2003) lokhu kwadalwa ukuthi unina kaDanny akahlalanga naye uDanny esanda kumbeletha, yingakho elambele ukuba owesifazane kangaka ngoba akazange abuzwe ubumnandi bokugonwa, ancele afukanyelwe unina ngonyaka wokuqala ezelwe. Umbono kaBailey uyahambelana nokwenzeka kuMhlengi. Lo mfana ukhule engalwazi uthando lukanina njengaye lo ongenhla okuthiwa uDanny. Ukuhlawumbisela nokululangazelela uthando lukamama kwadala ukuthi uMhlengi abuzwe enabo ubufazane ngaphakathi kuye. Konke lokhu akakwazi futhi akakuzwa uNgidi, kungumzwangedwa kaMhlengi. UNgidi uphinde acabange nangesikhathi sakhe asichitha kuSibiya (2008:20) ehlala engaganwa emva kokushona kukamama kaMhlengi ngoba esabela ukuthi kungenzeka aganwe uhlanya lwenkosikazi engagcina ihlukumeza uzinyobulala wakhe. Impilo kaNgidi yama nse emva kokuzalwa kukaMhlengi, okuyinto engajwayelekile kakhulu kubantu besilisa uma beshonelwe. Uyasho uNgidi ukuthi konke lokhu ayekwenza, amabhizinisi, amapulazi, ukungaganwa wayekwenzela yena uMhlengi, (Sibiya 2008:42). UNgidi ngenkathi ethola ucingo lukaMhlengi emazisa ukuthi uyeza wayelindele ukuthi uzomazisa ukuthi usefuna ukuganwa, (Sibiya 2008:23). Yiwona mqondo abazali ababa nawo uma umfana wabo esefike ebangeni lokuganwa. NoNgidi-ke akehlukile kubo, ngingathi nje 97 uveza kona ngqo okwenzeka emiphakathini yethu lapho abazali abazishaya isifuba khona sebebona izithelo ezinhle zokukhulisa kahle abantwana babo, owesifazane esegana, nowesilisa eganwa. Siphinde simbone uNgidi engayikholwa kahle le ndaba yobutabane bukaMhlengi. Uma sekufike uNontobeko ehamba efuna uMhlengi eseshiye phansi umshado wakhe noNkululeko, (Sibiya 2008:63) uNgidi akasenawo lowa mqondo wokwesula uMhlengi empilweni yakhe, uphuma uphumo athungathane noMhlengi enethemba lokuthi uma bemthola uyobe esayiyeka le nto amxoshela yona emzini wakhe, (Sibiya 2008:111). UBlumenfeld (1992:143) uthi abantu besilisa yibona kakhulu abangakunambithisisi ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo, ikakhulukazi uma kwenziwa amadodana abo. Kanti abesifazane abangomama balaba bantwana nabo bayaphatheka kabi, kodwa uma kuqhubeka isikhathi babonakala bebeseka abantwana babo. UMhlengi akabanga senhlanhleni yokuba nonina lokho okwadala ukuthi angabi namuntu ozomeseka ngenkathi ebhekana nesinqumo sokuphumela obala. UBlumenfeld kulo leli khasi uphinda akhale ngesitembu (stigma) esinanyathiselwa kulowo osephumele obala ukuthi uphila le mpilo. Lokhu kuyisizathu ngqala esenza babe madolo nzima ukuphumela obala. Abazali abalilahli ithemba ngabantwana babo. Bayakholelwa ekutheni uma umntwana ephambuka siyafika isikhathi lapho abona khona ukuthi wonile, bese eqala kabusha alungise onke amaphutha akhe. NakuNgidi kwabe kunjalo ngoMhlengi. Ngempela ithemba alibulali, liyaphilisa ngoba ekuthungatheni kwakhe enaleli themba, wayebona izinto sezizobuyela esimweni zilunge nakhu esebone nengane yabantu le enguNontobeko ethanda uMhlengi ngothando lweqiniso. KuSibiya (2008:149) amathemba kaNgidi ashabalala okwamazolo ebona ilanga lapho efica uMhlengi sekwaba isiphalaphala sentokazi enguMahlengi esaziguqula ubulili. Naye ukhala isililo esifana nesabanye abalingiswa esithi, “Hhawu, wangenza Mhlengi”. 4.4 Ukwehluka kwemibono ngeminyaka yobudala: Bengithi Lizokuna Lokhu kwehluka kwemibono ngeminyaka kuyavela cishe kuyo yonke imibhalo ecwaningiwe. KuSibiya (2008:130) uMhlengi usethole ulwazi olunzulu ngalokhu kuhlinzwa okwenziwa 98 esibhedlela saseKapa ku-internet. Uma ubheka lapha nakuba efundile uNgidi, akakaze azikhathaze ngokufuna ulwazi ngempilo yabantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo, ngisho indodana yakhe isimtshelile ukuthi i-gay esikhundleni salokho ucabanga ukuthi kwakuyisiwombe nje esasifikile kuMhlengi esabuya sadlula, (Sibiya, 2008:111). Kuyahlaluka ukuthi indlela yokucabanga kaMhlengi nesikhathi aphila kuso asifani nhlobo nendlela uNgidi acabanga ngayo nesikhathi yena Ngidi aphila kuso ngesikhathi sobusha bakhe. UXolani Lo mlingiswa wethulwa uSibiya endabeni eganiwe, kepha esethathwa intokazi aqala ngqa ukuyibona kulo mhlangano wosomabhizinisi abasafufusa. Liyaphithana ikhanda likaXolani liphithaniswa uthando analo lukaMahlengi, (Sibiya 2008:32). Ukhohlwa nayizethembiso abezenze kumkakhe zokuhamba bayodla ngaphandle ngoba esehleli noMahlengi. Kuyavela nokuguquka kwezimiso akade esezenzile uXolani ngempilo yakhe njengoba ephuza utshwala okwase kuyiminyaka abuyeka. Akakaze ayithande intombazane ephuzayo futhi ebhemayo, kodwa okwenziwa uMahlengi ukubona kukuhle nje futhi kumfanela, (Sibiya 2008:36). Konke lokhu kwenza kukaXolani kuveza: (i) Ukuba uthathekile, ahehwe izinto ezimbi aziyo ukuthi azihambelani naye, (ii) kepha ngobuhatha azibone zingasenankinga. (iii) Ukuphuza nokubhema kukaMahlengi, ngokomcwaningi owaziyo ukuthi wayengumfana waziguqula waba yintombazane, kuyizinkomba okufanele ngabe uXolani uyaziqaphela kulo muntu wakhe “wesifazane” osemphithanise ikhanda. Nephimbo likaMahlengi uthi uSibiya (2008:32) kumcwaningi lifakazela ukuthikamezeka kwalo ngenkathi eguqulwa kukhishwa igilo. Lesi sihosho engathi esendoda engabe siyamsolisa uXolani, yisona esimsanganisa kakhulu. Baze bathandane oXolani noMahlengi engakaze asole lutho ngobulili bakhe, indaba yonakale kuvuthondaba lapho esho yena qobo uMahlengi ukuthi unguMhlengi waziguqula ubulili, (Sibiya 2008:149). Isenzo sikaXolani sokuthatha amagxathu abuyela emuva ehlehla nyova uma ezwa lezi zindaba siveza ukuzisola ngalolu thando lukaMahlengi, siveza ukubuyela emuva akhumbule izingane zakhe ezishile zibulawa ukuthi uzikhiyele wayohlala 99 noMahlengi. Ubona ububi bemivuzo yokungethembeki, amaphupho akhe okwahlukanisa noLungile uMaMkhize bese eshada noMahlengi ashabalala okwamazolo ebona ilanga. Umcwaningi ubona uXolani evuna izithelo zokuba uthathekile. Ugcina elahlekelwa okukhona ngokungekho esiphethweni senoveli esethola ukuthi uMahlengi wake waba umfana. Nomndeni akade enawo usungasekho, esefelwe abantwana, washiywa nayinkosikazi uMaMkhize. UNdumiso Wethulwe njengensizwa enolaka uNdumiso. Simthola exova uXolani ngesibhakela ngoba ezama ukugwema ukuthi amemuke uMahlengi, (Sibiya 2008:82). Akukapheli nezinyanga ezinhlanu ethandene noMahlengi kepha usecabanga ukumlobola. USibiya (2008:66) wethula umngani kaNdumiso uSbu emeluleka ngokuthi kungakuhle angabi nentombi eyodwa ngoba amantombazane ayachayisana, ikakhulukazi uma yazi ukuthi iyona yodwa, ayikho enye onayo. Esikhundleni sokulalela izeluleko uNdumiso uyaphokophela ekuzameni ukuthola imali yokulobola uMahlengi njengoba esebone nokuthi kukhona onyonyobela ukumphuca, lowo okunguXolani. Inkinga abhekene nayo ukungabi nayo imali yokulobola uMahlengi, lokhu okuholela ekutheni agcine esebambe inkunzi kwaNgidi eGcilima, (Sibiya 2008:122). UNdumiso kuze kuphele indaba engenalo ulwazi lokuthi uMahlengi wake waba umuntu wesilisa ngoba uMahlengi umbhalela incwadi yokumala ayifake ngaphansi kwesicabha ayithole mhla ebuya nemali ayintshontshele ukumlobola. Kusenjalo uyaboshwa ngaphambi kokuthi abonane noMahlengi, ngakho akalazi iqiniso ngalo Mahlengi wakhe. 4.5 Izenzo nemicabango yabalingiswa iveza inkathi yamanje Kokucwaningwayo kubhekwa nezenzo ezihambisana nokuthi ngabe le noveli igqamisa isikhathi sakudala noma isikhathi samanje. Lokho kuhlaluka ngokuhlunga okuthile okwenziwa yibona abalingiswa endabeni okweyamene nenkathi. Umlingiswa ubhekwa ngamunye ukuthi yini ayethulayo ngenkathi ezenzweni zakhe. 100 UMhlengi / Mahlengi USibiya uMhlengi / Mahlengi umethule waba isikhathi samanje ngakushoyo kanjalo nakwenzayo. Indawo ahlala kuyo isedolobheni, uphila isimanjemanje. Ngisho izenzo zakhe zokuzithathela izinqumo, enze akufisayo ngisho esenaye umzali kuveza isikhathi samanje. UMhlengi akukho lapho esizwa khona ezocela imvume kuNgidi ngezinqumo zempilo yakhe. Banjalo abantwana besikhathi sanamuhla. Ukuqala kwabo ukusebenza emva kokuqeda isikole kubona kuchaza ukuthi sebezimele futhi baziphethe. Abasekho ngaphansi kwesandla somzali. UBoswel (1980:35) uthi impilo yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo ayishayelwa amakhala kakhulu ezindaweni zasemadolobheni, uma ziqhathaniswa nezasemakhaya. Ngalokhu uBoswel akasho ukuthi ezindaweni zasemaphandleni abekho abanemizwa yobulili obufanayo, kodwa baziveza kakhulu ezindaweni osekuphilwa kuzo isimanjemanje. Kanti uHemmings (2002:65) ubalula ukungafani kwabantu, abanye imizwa yobulili obufana nobabo bayashesha ukuba nayo, kanti kwabanye kuthatha isikhathi ukuthi bayiveze le mizwa. Ngokusho kwakhe kwesinye isikhathi basuke belinde indawo, isikhathi kanye nesimo esiphephile ukuze baziveze ukuthi banayiphi imizwa. UBailey (2003:15) uphawula athi: Danny found out- one of the kids at school told him about transsexualism as he read about it from a newspaper and advised him to follow suit. Danny was interested, (what happens to the penis? Can she have babies? Is she pretty? Ekhuluma ngoDanny umfana oseneminyaka eyisi-7 ofunda ephephandabeni ngomfana okuvalwe izikole engumfana kwathi kuvulwa emva kwamaholidi wabe eseyintombazane eseguqulwe ubulili. Unemibuzo anayo emqondweni uDanny yokuthi: • Ushonephi umphambili? • Angakwazi ukuthola abantwana? • Muhle nje impela, izinsizwa ziphenduka naye alandelwe amakhwela? 101 Siyakubona okushiwo uBailey (2003) enovelini ecwaningiwe. Okwakudla uDanny ngokuguqula ubulili kwamudla noMhlengi kodwa wazitshela ukuthi lokhu asekunqumile ngempilo yakhe yikhona ayesefuna ukukwenza: ukuguqula ubulili. Zisuka nje amadaka sizwa kuthiwa uMhlengi usezilungiselele uhambo lwakhe lokuya eKapa lapho ayoguqulwa khona ubulili, (Sibiya 2008:12). Lokhu kugqamisa ukuthi sekuyizikhathi zamanje lapho osekutholakala khona izibhedlela ezikwazi ukuguqula ubulili. Yizona ngempela izikhathi zamanje lapho osekukhona odokotela, imishini kanye nezibhedlela ezikwazi ukuhlinza umuntu asuke kobunye ubulili aye kobunye ngempumelelo. Nezindawo okutholakala kuzo ulwazi sezandile kakhulu ngoba siyezwa kuSibiya (2008:13) ukuthi usefundile nako “internet” uMhlengi ukuthi baningi abantu asebesizakele kuzo lezi zibhedlela ezinobuchwepheshe obuphambili, amaphupho abo okuguqula ubulili asefezekile. UMahlengi uba namasoka amabili oNdumiso noXolani ngesikhathi esisodwa, lokhu kufakazela ukuthi le ndaba yenzeka ngesikhathi samanje lapho owesifazane eba namasoka angaphezu kwelilodwa, kanti emandulo kwakungeke kwenzeke lokho ngoba kwakuqonywa ngocu oludlula eqhikizeni ,kuchonywa neduku. Isaqhubeka indaba uSibiya (2008:18) ulokhu ephohloza ulimi lwesiNgisi enkulunyweni yabalingiswa. Nalokho kuyaveza isikhathi samanje lapho abantu abangamaZulu phaqa bengasayiqedi inkulumo yabo ngesiZulu lingakaze lingene igama elilodwa noma amabili esiNgisi. Kuyavela futhi naye uMahlengi ukuthi uhamba ngemoto, uhlala efulethini, usebenzisa iziqholo o’Red door’, uma evakashelwe uXolani uphuza naye o ‘Jameson’ bazikhiphela nasezindaweni ezingamarestorenti. Badla ukudla bebephuza neRed wine. Kuyavela futhi ukuthi uMahlengi uyaphuza futhi uyabhema. Izintokazi ezihlala emafulethini azo ezizimele zenza noma ngabe yini ngoba zizikhululeke azigane muntu, konke lokho kuveza isikhathi samanje okukhona ama independent ladies, noMahlengi ungomunye wazo. UMahlengi uqoma umuntu wesilisa oganiwe. Lokhu kungumkhuba ojwayelekile kakhulu esikhathini samanje, nakuba babeqonywa emandulo kodwa kwakaziwa ukuthi basuke bezoganwa isithembu. Lokhu kukaMahlengi kuhlukile ngoba uXolani uze acabange nokufaka 102 isehlukaniso noLungile uMaMkhize ebe engayazi nemvelaphi yalo Mahlengi asesangana ngaye. Emandulo indoda eganiwe yayiqonywa intombi eyaziwayo, hhayi lokhu kukaXolani. UNontobeko Emva kokushayiswa imoto kaNkululeko siyezwa kuthiwa waphuthunyiswa nguyena uNkululeko esibhedlela. Yizikhathi zamanje lapho abantu asebethola usizo lwezempilo babuye banyangwe ezibhedlela. Akuthathi sikhathi esingakanani bethandene noNkululeko bese ethumela abakhongi kubo kaNontobeko. Akusafani nasemandulo lapho okwakwaziwa ukuthi intombi ethile ikhombe insizwa yasesigodini esithile, kuthathe isikhathi ngaphambi kokuthi bavumelane ngokuganana. Okwamanje sekuyashesha ngoba nesikhathi sokushelwana sesisifushane kakhulu. Ukweqa kuzosa bashade noNkululeko kuyizinkomba zesikhathi samanje lapho abesifazane abangasabophekile khona bagcine beshade nomuntu ngisho bebona ukuthi abanalo ikusasa naye ngokwesabela ukuphoxa abazali. UNontobeko wenzisa okwazo impela izintokazi zesikhathi samanje. Ukufa kukaNkululeko kungena ngaphansi kwakhe lo mlingiswa ngoba wayengeke azibulale ukuba akazange amshiye kuzokusa bashade. Ukuzibulala ngendlela yokuzikhunga kungumkhuba osuvamile kakhulu kubantu abasha kulezi zinsuku zanamuhla, uma nje behlangabezana nenselelo empilweni bavele bacabange ukuthi ukuzibulala yisona sixazululo. Naye uNontobeko umcwaningi umbona engumuntu ozithathelayo izinqumo ngempilo yakhe. Akancikile kokufiswa nokufunwa abazali bakhe. Nalokho kuveza isikhathi samanje. UNgidi Le nsizwa eneminyaka ecela lapha emashumini amahlanu ngokukaSibiya (2008:23) inamabhizinisi ayizitolo, inamapulazi. Lokhu kwabe kungekho ngezikhathi zobandlululo ukuthi umuntu omnyama abe namapulazi, yingakho kugqamisa isikhathi samanje eNingizimu Afrika sekunohulumeni wentando yeningi. 103 KwaNgidi njengoba unina kaMhlengi ashona ngenkathi ebeletha uMhlengi nje, uNgidi wesekwe o-anti abasizayo ukukhulisa uMhlengi nasekunakekeleni umuzi. Yizikhathi zanamuhla lapho osekunabantu abasiza ezindlini zabamnyama okuyinto eyayijwayeleke emizini yabelungu lapho okwakusebenza khona omama abamnyama. UNgidi ungumlingiswa onothando olukhulu lomntwana wakhe, nakuba amphoxa ngempilo athi useyayiphila, wamxosha ekhaya. Uma kufika uNontobeko ehamba emfuna ayabuya amathemba kuNgidi okuthi kungenzeka nje ukuthi uMhlengi usawuguqula umqondo wakhe kulo mbhedo ayethi uyiwo. Uthando lweqiniso lukaMhlengi siyalubona. Uma oNgidi noNontobeko sebethungatha uMhlengi bengamtholi bagcina beqashe umseshi ozimele owuShezi, kuSibiya (2008:96) okungumsebenzi owawungajwayelekile ngezikhathi zakudala, ikakhulukazi ukuthi wenziwe abamnyama. Umseshi lo onguShezi kuyavela kunoveli ukuthi ubiza izimali ezishisiwe, kodwa ngenxa yothando nethemba likaNgidi ukuthi uMhlengi uzomthola esawuguqula umqondo ngezindaba zobu ‘gay’ lezi amtshela zona, uyayikhokha imali kaShezi ukuze athole uzinyobulala wakhe. 4.6 Imibono yabesilisa asebebadala ngobutabane Umcwaningi usebenzisa abalingiswa abatholakala emibhalweni ecwaningwayo ngesizathu sokuthi abalingiswa yibona abamele amalunga omphakathi. UNgidi enovelini kaSibiya yinto angafune nakuyizwa le yobutabane, ukhalela isikhathi sakhe asichithe ekhulisa uMhlengi ngoba enethemba lokuthi suku lumbe uyoganwa athole abantwana, kodwa akusenjalo. Kanjalo nobaba babafana abasezindabeni ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe bawotha ubomvu owokuthi amadodana abo azoganwa abanye abantu besilisa. Ngesingabo babona izingane zabo zingafundisekanga kahle futhi zibahlaza emphakathini. UXolani UXolani uhlangana noMahlengi emhlanganweni wosomabhizinisi abasafufusa, lapho abacijisana khona ngemibono yokusimamisa amabhizinisi abo njengoba kusondela isikhathi 104 seNdebe yomhlaba yezi-2010 eyayibanjelwe khona lapha eNingizimu Afrika, lokhu kufakazela ukuthi isikhathi samanje (Sibiya 2008:27). Ukuphinga kwabesilisa abaganiwe kuyinto ejwayelekile ngezikhathi zamanje. UXolani uthandana noMahlengi eganiwe uLungile uMaMkhize. Lokhu ukwenza noma umkakhe esenezinsolo zokuthi uqonyiwe. KuSibiya (2008:34) uyabuzisisa uLungile kumyeni wakhe osebuyele ezinkambeni into akade ayiyeka, kanti akazi ukuthi uphuze ngoba ubehleli noMahlengi ophuzayo enqena ukuthi uzoba isiphoxi. NakuSibiya (2008:38) efika ekhaya enuka isiqholo sabesifazane i ‘Red door’ okuyiziqholo ezisetshenziswa esikhathini samanje. UXolani lumgabhile uthando lweshende lakhe elinguMahlengi, uyamphupha ngisho ebusuku elele emzini wakhe, yilapho uLungile alazi khona igama likaMahlengi othumbe inhliziyo yomyeni wakhe, (Sibiya 2008:52) Noma eseshaywe uNdumiso wamkhipha amehlo okubuka, akayeki ukuya kuMahlengi uXolani (Sibiya 2008:82). Ekhaya kunkosikazi ufika emabokoboko yizibhakela zikaNdumiso kodwa phinde akabheki emuva. Ovuthondabeni lwenoveli ushiya izingane ezikhiyele endlini kanti kuzoqubuka umlilo ngaphakathi zishe zingqongqe izingane zakhe, elibele ukuhlala noMahlengi ebusuku, (Sibiya 2008:147). Konke lokhu kuveza imiqondo yabesilisa abaganiwe abaqhubekayo nokuphinga ngisho sebebanjiwe amakhosikazi umonakalo uze ube mkhulu impela. Ngalesi sikhathi umonakalo usumkhulu njengawo lo kaXolani, usuke engasenalo imuva nephambili liluvindi. UXolani uxakwe ukuthi kanti njengoba ebesangene kangaka ngoMahlengi ubesanganiswe umuntu owayewumfana? Kwanzima endodeni yahlehla, yabaleka. UNdumiso Lo mlingiswa ukuveza ngobugebengu ukuphila esikhathini samanje. Ngenxa yokuthi akanayo imali yokulobola uMahlengi asenezinsolo zokuthi angahle amphunyuke, ugcina 105 ebuyele entweni ayesefungile ukuthi uyayiyeka, ukubamba inkunzi. Ubamba uNgidi inkunzi agcine esebulale noNyambose, (Sibiya 2008:122). Okunye okwenziwa uNdumiso okuveza isikhathi samanje ukuthi akukho nje enovelini lapho esizwa khona exoxa noMahlengi embuza imvelaphi yakhe. Phela uMahlengi akazalelwanga efulethini leli ahlala kulo. Sebethandene isikhathi esiyizinyanga ezinhlanu kepha akasazi nesibongo sakhe? Nokuthi udabukaphi? Yizinto ezijwayelekile futhi ezivamile kubantu abasha esikhathini sanamuhla. Kuyashelwana, kuqonywane, kulalwe ngosuku olulodwa abantu bengazani nezibongo. Abanye bangaze bazalisane kanti abandawonye. NoNdumiso ubamba inkunzi nje akazi ukuthi uiyse kaMahlengi lo azomqola. 4.7 Okwethulwa yizihloko zamanoveli acwaningiwe Kule ngxenye umcwaningi ubheka ngqo inhloso yombhali wombhalo ngamunye mayelana nomlayezo awedlulisela kubafundi bombhalo wakhe ngesihloko asikhethele indaba yakhe. Lokhu kukhethwa kwesihloko kuyahambisana nemizwa yakhe ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Bengithi Lizokuna Ngalesi sihloko uSibiya wethula ukushabalala kwamaphupho abalingiswa abaningi kulo mbhalo wakhe, amathe abuyela kwasifuba uma sebethola iqiniso ngoMhlengi othanda ubulili obufana nobakhe. Echaza kuSibiya (2008:158) ukuthi imvula iwuphawu lwethemba kithina maZulu, ngakho-ke uma lina siba nethemba lempilo engcono. Silindela ukuthi zonke izinto zizoshintsha. Isimo sobusika sidlule. Ithemba lethu lisuke libheke ekudleni okusuke kusemasimini. Kule noveli kunabalingiswa abenza izinto ezithile ngoba benethemba lempilo engcono, okuyilaba: 106 UMhlengi Udela konke udela uyise, ahlukane noNontobeko ngoba enephupho lamadlelo aluhlaza, empilo engcono yentombazane akade ayifisa. Ubethi lizokuna empilweni yakhe entsha eseguqule ubulili, kube kuhle konke eseyintombazane kanti akabuzanga elangeni, izinkinga inkathi zizoqala phansi. UNgidi UManqoba Ngidi uyise kaMhlengi unozinyobulala wendodana yakhe ethi ingazalwa ayimise impilo yakhe, abheke ukuyikhulisa kahle njengoba ingasenaye unina nje. Izulu akade ethi lizokuna ukukhula kukaMhlengi aganwe athole abantwana, kodwa akwenzeki ngoba uMhlengi emtshela ukuthi uthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe. Liyashabalala kuNgidi ifu lemvula, libuye ngoba sekufika uNontobeko. Ovuthondabeni lwenoveli ifu elinethemba lemvula kuNgidi lishabalala unomphela uma esethola ukuthi uMhlengi sewaziguqula ubulili waba isiphalaphala sentokazi. UNontobeko UNontobeko uthatha isinqumo sokuba engabe esashada noNkululeko, ahambe ayothungatha isithandwa sakhe uMhlengi. Lokhu ukwenza ngethemba lempilo engcono uma esethole uMhlengi, yilona zulu lakhe akade ethi lizokuna. UXolani Uthando lukaMahlengi lumvala amehlo uXolani, axabane nomkakhe uLungile ngenxa kaMahlengi. Uvalela izingane endlini ngenhloso yokuyohlala nesithandwa sakhe esisha. Useze acabange nangedivosi, into ayengakaze wayicabanga ngaphambilini. Izingane zakhe zishiswa umlilo zishone engekho ehleli noMahlengi. Amaphupho namadlelo aluhlaza ashabalala uma esezwa ukuthi uMahlengi wake waba owesilisa. Alisananga izulu njengoba ubecabanga. UNdumiso Lo mlingiswa ubuyela empilweni yobugebengu ukuze afeze amaphupho akhe okushada uMahlengi. Ubamba inkunzi kwaNgidi eGcilima ukuze alobole uMahlengi lo asebona sengathi usezomphucwa uXolani. Lokhu wayekwenziswa ithemba lokuthi hleze aphile kangcono noMahlengi wakhe uma sebeshadile, akwabe kusenzeka wakhalelwa amasongo 107 kaSigonyela. Alisananga nakuye uNdumiso, libuyise amafu laguqubala waze waba nethemba imali eseyiphethe ngesandla kanti ukhe phansi kwashunqa. Bayeza Abanqobi Le noveli inezindikimba eziningi. Umcwaningi uzogxila endikimbeni yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, ebheka kokuchazwa inoveli ngesihloko. Abanqobi abantu abangehluleli, ababona abantu beNkosi befana, abangabheki ibala noma ubuzwe , ubulili nokunye. UMngadi wethula ithemba ngesikhathi noma ngekusasa. Ukhuluma ngothando lwabantu bemunye. Njengoba kuvela ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo nje enovelini yakhe, kuyagqama nokuthi abanye abantu abangayiphili le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufana nobabo, bayabazonda babaphathe kabi. Lapha uMngadi ukhuluma ngabanqobi abangacwasi abangehlukanisi, abangahluleli abanye abantu. Ukhuluma ngothando olulodwa lokuthi sidalwe ngomfanekiso kaMdali siyafana sonke, ngakho siyeza leso sikhathi lapho sohlala ngokuzwana. 4.8 Ubudlelwano phakathi kwendikimba yobutabane nendikimba yothando emanovelini acwaningiwe. Bengithi Lizokuna Kule noveli abalingiswa bagajwa uthando olwehlukene, uthando lomzali, uthando lowesilisa nowesifazane, uthando lobutabane, uthando oluholela ebugebengwini kanye nothando lwabantu abangaphezu koyedwa (ukuphinga). uNgidi UManqoba Ngidi unalo uthando lukazinyobulala wakhe udela ukuganwa emva kokushona kukanina kaMhlengi ukuze akhulise uMhlengi ngendlela ayifisayo. Nakuba ekhathazekile ukuthi uMhlengi umtshele ukuthi uyisitabane uba nalo ithemba lokuthi sewayiyeka leyo mpilo. Lokhu kwenza kukaNgidi kufakazelwa uBailey (2003:17) lapho athi: Danny’s father desperately wanted Danny to grow into a heterosexual man. 108 Njengabo bonke abazali, uthando lukaMhlengi kuNgidi lwenza angalilahli ithemba ngomntanakhe. Njengaye uyise kaDanny onephupho lokuthi umfana wakhe aphile impilo yobufana. Ubuqiniso bokushiwo uBailey ngokufisa ngomoya wakhe wonke ubaba kaMhlengi ukuthi uMhlengi abe owesilisa ophelele kubonakala ngokufika kukaNontobeko okulibuyisa kakhulu ithemba. Uthando lomntwana wakhe azibona eseyomfuna kanti wayesefungile ukuthi akaseyona indodana yakhe, lumxabanisa noNomalanga isithandwa sakhe esisha. Kanti uBech (1997:194) ubalula ukuthi: There can be no doubt that being homosexual was and is a problem: even those who proclaim how good it is to be gay reveal it by having to legitimate themselves in this way. Uchaza athi uma uphatha igama elithi, “isitabane” emqondweni womuntu ongahambisani noyiphilayo le mpilo kufika igama elithi, “inkinga”. Uqhuba athi uma le mpilo iyinkinga, kusho ukuthi sikhona isixazululo, ngoba ayikho inkinga engenaso isixazululo. Kuyafakazeleka lokhu kuNgidi ngenkathi uMhlengi emazisa ukuthi u ‘gay’ usithatha khona manjalo isinqumo sokumxosha nokumsula emafeni. Yikhona lokhu kokuthi ubutabane buyinkinga njengoba esho uBech (1997) ngenhla. Eqhuba uBech uthi emphakathini mayelana nobutabane kunesixazululo ezithukuseke emicatshangweni yomphakathi noma ekudalweni kwezitabane. Lapha uqonde ukuthi uma laba bantu bedalwe benje, kusho ukuthi akukho okungenziwa ngaphandle kokuthi umphakathi uguqule indlela ocabanga ngayo,ubamukele benjengoba benjalo. Echaza uTroiden kuHerdt (1989:61) uyakuveza ocwaningweni lwakhe ukuthi: Women and men who capitulate avoid homosexual activity because they have internalised a stigmatizing view of homosexuality. The persistence of homosexual feelings in the absence of homosexual activity, however may lead them to experience self-hatred and despair. 109 Lapha ngenhla kuyavela ukuthi izitabane eziningi ziyazama ukuyicindezela imizwa yazo yokuthanda ubulili obufanayo, lokho okungaholela ekutheni lowo muntu agcine esezizonda futhi ahlale engaswabulukile. Yikhona lokhu okuchazwa uTroiden okwadala ukuthi uMhlengi amazise uyise ngempilo ayesekhethe ukuyiphila. Kukodwa ayengakwazi ukuthi wayezilethela ulaka lukayise. Ukubalekela ukuthi azizonde uMhlengi, wathatha isinqumo sokuguqula ubulili. UMhlengi UMhlengi ekuqaleni kwendaba wethulwa enothando lokuba umuntu wesifazane, esenze wonke amalungiselelo okuyoguqula ubulili. Uzizwa engumuntu wesifazane ozalwe evaleleke emzimbeni wesilisa. Iphendaba langomhla lulu-01 kuNhlaba 2014 liyakufakazela lokhu okungenhla ngoba likhuluma ngembewu yowesilisa ayihlwayela esibelethweni sowesifazane bese kuzalwa ingane umndeni wande. Libuye licaphune nencwadi engcwele lona leli phephandaba lapho libhala ngo-Adamu no-Eva okungabantu abadalwa uNkulunkulu bona base bayazalana bande. Kulona leli phephandaba langomhla lulu-01 kuNhlaba 2014 kubalulwa ukuthi emiphakathini eminingi sekunezigigaba eziningi ezihambisana nawo lo mkhuba wokuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Yizona lezi zinkinga eziholela ekutheni umntwana onale mizwa ashaye sengathi unemizwa ejwayelekile, bese uma esezimele engasekho ngaphansi kwesandla sabazali aphumele obala. Eqhuba uBailey (2003:20) uthi: At puberty as a teen began to mature physically, he realises that he wants to do so in male or female direction. Ukufakazela uBailey (2003) othi esikhathini sokuthomba yilapho umntwana azizwa khona ukuthi unemizwa yothando yabuphi ubulili, yilapho uMhlengi athatha khona isinqumo sokuthi uzofunda, abeke imali ukuze aguqule ubulili bakhe. Eqinisweni wayekade ayizwa imizwa yobutabane kodwa wayivalela ngaphakathi ngezizathu zokwesaba uyise kanye nokucwaswa umphakathi jikelele. Uma esezimele uya kuyise ayombikela. 110 UMhlengi uyawuthanda futhi uyawethemba umndeni wakhe okunguyise, uyazi nokuthi uma emtshela njengelunga lomndeni uyamethemba ukuthi ngeke ahambe efafaza ukuthi uyisitabane, yingakho engamtsheli uNontobeko isizathu sokuhlukana kwabo kodwa uyise uNgidi uyamtshela le mfihlo yakhe ngoba uyigazi lakhe. Lapha ngenhla kuvela uthando phakathi kwamalunga omndeni. Umndeni uyathembana, uyesekana ezikhathini ezinzima. UNontobeko Ngaye sibona uthando lwakhe noMhlengi kanye nothando lwakhe noNkululeko. Kuvela uthando lweqiniso uNontobeko athanda ngalo uMhlengi, kanti ngoNkululeko wayezama ukuvala isikhala sikaMhlengi enhliziyweni yakhe, lokhu okungenzekangawaze wanquma ukuhamba ayothungatha uMhlengi kuzosa bashade noNkululeko. UNontobeko uzilahlekisela okukhona ngokungekho ngokushiya uNkululeko ogcina ezikhungile washona, ahambe ayobheka uMhlengi kanti akazi ukuthi Mhlengi ndini lo sewaba intombazane. Wayengazenzi naye uNontobeko wayeholwa uthando. Baqinisile abadala uma bethi uthando aluboni. UNkululeko Ngalo mlingiswa kuvela uthando lowesilisa nowesifazane lapho okugqama uthando lweqiniso ngenkathi elaxaza wonke amantombazane akade ethandana nawo ngenkathi eseqonywe uNontobeko. Ulobola uyasheshisa nje, uphupha ngomuzi nezingane abazozithola noNontobeko. Lolu thando lukaNontobeko olungaka luholela ekutheni azibulale uma esemshiyile. UXolani Lo mlingiswa wethula uthando lowesithathu okungolokuphinga uganiwe. Uzibulalela umuzi wakhe, kufe nezingane ngenxa yokuba uthathekile ehamba eqonywa nangabantu angayazi nemvelaphi nemuva labo. UMahlengi umsanganisa ikhanda aze afise nokudivosa unkosikazi wakhe, ngoMahlengi lo aqalayo nokumbona. 111 Ukuba budedengu kwakhe esanganiswe uthando olusha kudala ukuthi akhiyele izingane zakhe endlini ebusuku ahambe aye kuMahlengi kanti kuzoqubuka umlilo endlini zishe zingqongqe. UNdumiso Uthando analo ngoMahlengi lwenza aphindele empilweni yobugebengu ayesefungile ukuthi usehlukene nayo. Isizathu ukuthola imali alobole uMahlengi lo angasangabazi ukuthi uzokwephucwa yena uXolani lo asanda kumbamba eze kuMahlengi wamdikadika ngequpha. Yena uveza uthando lowesilisa nowesifazane. Lezi zinhlobo zothando ziyahambelana nobutabane ngoba zonke izenzo ezenziwa abalingiswa abangenhla zincike esinqunyweni sikaMhlengi asenza ekuqaleni kwendaba sokuguqula ubulili. Njengomlingiswa osemqoka uMahlengi uyathinteka ngandlela thize ngokwenzeka ezimpilweni zalaba balingiswa noma abanye bengathandani naye ngqo. Bayeza abanqobi Alukho uthando oluvezwa uMngadi kule noveli yakhe. Abaphila impilo yobutabane okungukulala nabanye besilisa bakwenzela izizathu ezithile. Akaqhutshwa uthando abanalo omunye komunye. UComstock (1991:163) uthi yena: Hustlers in the gay world are boys and men who engage in sexual activity with other men for money. Some are gay identified; others are not. Ekhuluma ngabafanyana abenza ucansi nabesilisa ngesizathu sokudayisa umzimba ukuze bathole imali, uchaza athi laba bakhangqazi (hustlers) abanye babo bayizitabane kodwa abanye babo abayizona, kodwa lokhu abakwenzayo bakwenza njengomsebenzi. Leli phuzu likaComstock libeka ngokuthi njengoba bonke abantu bevuka ekuseni baye emsebenzini, akubona bonke abantu abawuthandayo umsebenzi abawenzayo, kodwa ngenxa 112 yesimo sokuthi kumele kusetshenzwe ukuze kuphilwe, bayaya kosebenza. Bavuka bazihudule baye khona, inqobo nje uma bezohola. Ngakho nakubo abafana laba, akubalulekile ukuthi baze bawuthande umsebenzi abawenzayo, kuphela nje uma bezokwazi ukuthi baphile ngawo. Ngakho-ke abalingiswa bale noveli ukudayisa ngomzimba kwalaba bafana abahlala emgwaqweni wasePhoyinti kunguhlobo lomsebenzi abawenzayo. UMusa Sikubona kwenzeka kulo mlingiswa lokhu okushiwo uComstock (1991) ngoba usethe efika nje ngakho kodwa wabe enukubezwa uNcamuncamu akakuthandi lokhu okwenzeka kuye, uze angamfiseli omunye umuntu ukuthi ake ezwe lobu bunzima. Uma sekwenziwa kulabo abalandela emva kwakhe ngokufika emgwaqweni, uyabalwela lapho bekhala ngenkathi benukubezwa. Lapha kuvela ukuthi uMusa wayeyizonda ngenhliziyo yakhe yonke le nto yokulala kowesilisa nomunye wesilisa. Wagcina ezakhele elakhe iqembu elalinabafana abangayenzi yonke le mikhuba kwabanye abafana. UMusa unothando lowesifazane njengoba engowesilisa nje, ekupheleni kwenoveli uthandana noLinda ongudadewabo ka-Adonis isitha sakhe esikhulu. UNkosana UNkosana yena unemizwa engafani neyabanye abafana lapha emgwaqweni. Waze wamuka ekhaya nje yingoba wayefuna ukuphila impilo yentombazane njengoba engumfana nje. Singasho-ke ukuthi konke okwenzeka kuyena lapha emgwaqweni, oMbawula noNcamuncanu bezitika ngaye, vele yilokho okuhambisana nemizwa yakhe ngoba unothando lokuba umuntu wesifazane. Uzisholo yena mathupha kuMngadi (2012:29) lapho achazela khona iqembu loMbawula ukuthi uzizwa eyintombazane ebufaneni futhi ukhululeka uma enamantombazane. Uguqulwa negama abizwe ngoNkosazana, afakwe amacici nemigexo okuthathwe kowesifazane obanjwe uMbawula inkunzi, (Mngadi 2012:30). Kusukela ngalelo langa uphenduka intombi kaMbawula, okungukuthi usenalo uthando. Indikimba yothando iyavela, ihlangene nobutabane ngoba uthandana noMbawula naye ongowesilisa. 113 UHerdt (1989:139) ocwaningweni olwenziwe uColeman uphawula athi: As juvenile prostitutes are runaways and in need of money to survive. There are underlying issues except drugs, and alcohol, petty thefts, minor assaults, and other criminality, such as finding someone to take care of them. Kunzima ukufika edolobheni elikhulu uqhamuka ezindaweni zasemakhaya. Ukhuluma ngezimo obhekana nazo ezikufundisa izindlela zokuziphilisa. Uqhuba athi yilapho okuqala khona ukukhangqaza abafana bedayisa ngomzimba ukuze bathenge ukudla, babambe abantu abahamba emgwaqweni inkunzi ngesizathu sokuzama ukuziphilisa. Uqhuba athi uma uhamba wedwa uba isisulu sabanye, ngakho kubalulekile ukuba neqembu ongena ngaphansi kwalo. UComstock (1991:164) wethule nemigomo efundiswa abafanyana laba abangabakhangqazi mayelana nobudlelwano okufanele babe nabo nalabo bantu besilisa ababadayisela ucansi. Imigomo ithi: 1. The sexual activity is for making money; the client must always pay and the boy must seek a transaction for the sole purpose of the financial gain, never for sexual gratification.  Ucansi lomkhangqazi olokwakha imali, ngakho akulindelekile ukuthi lumenelise. 2. The activity is limited to mouth-genital fellation, with only the adult as fellator.  Kufanele kusetshenziswe ingemuva (izinqe) nomlomo kuphela, ozanelisayo kungumthengi omdala kulo mfana odayisayo. 3. Both the boy and the adult must remain affectively neutral during the transaction.  Bobabili umthengi nomkhangqazi akufanele bakhombise ubudlelwano bothando ngesikhathi kudayiselwana. 4. No violence may be used, unless the client violates any of the above norms.  Akumele kube khona ohlukumezekayo, ngaphandle-ke uma umthengi engasafuni ukukhokha. Ukufakazela le mibono kaComstock engenhla, enovelini kaMngadi (2012:30) kuvela amaqembu akhiwa yibona abafana abahlala emigwaqweni yasePhoyinti enamagama ahlukene 114 oGalelagase, o D&D okunguMadimoni noDragoni namanye. Anezinqubo zawo nemithetho engafani neyelinye iqembu mayelana nokudayisela amanye amadoda ucansi lapha emgwaqweni. Le migomo eyethulwa uComstock (1991) iyahambisana nokwenzeka lapha ePhoyinti. Akekho onothando lomunye umuntu lapha. Uma abafana laba benenezana basuke bemfikisa loyo odlwengulwayo, kuze kufike isikhathi lapho amukeleka khona eqenjini bese beyamyeka. Okudlula lokho kwakhiwa imali kulabo besilisa abathenga ucansi kubona laba bafana. NgokukaHerdt (1989:29) uthi: The preconceptions outlined earlier, particularly the assumption of heterosexuality, still reign. Ubona abantu abaningi bevele bahlawumbisele ukuthi ingane ibulili buni ngakho inemizwa efisa buphi ubulili, uthi akwenzeki nangephutha ukuthi abazali bake bakucabange ukuthi umntwana wabo kungenzeka abe isitabane. Ngokwakhe akuwona wonke umuntu othanda ubulili obungafani nobakhe. Okuphawulekayo ukuthi labo abangakayazi kahle ukuthi imizwa yabo ibaholela kubuphi ubulili kufanele bangaqali bazame ekuthandeni ubulili obufana nobabo ngoba uthi uHerdt osengene khona kunzima ukuthi aphume. Uthi kunozibuthe okubambayo uma ungowesilisa oke wathandana nabesilisa okunzima ukuthi uwuyeke lowo mkhuba. UBaird (1995: 237) uthi: Our children won’t become homosexual people because they see others who are. Echaza ngenhla uBaird (1995) uthi abantwana akwenzeki ukuthi bagcine bephila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo ngenxa yokuthi babona abanye bekwenza. Uma bona bengaholwa imizwa yabo, kufanele benze okuhambelana nemizwa yabo. Ukhuluma nangemingcele okufanele sibe nayo empilweni. Ukunaba kuleli phuzu likaBaird elingenhla, thina njengabazali asifuni ukuthi abantwana bethu bazisondelanise nabanye abantwana abayizitabane. Isizathu salokho ukuthi sesaba 115 ukuthi nabangesizo izitabane uma bejwayelana nazo, bazogcina beyizona. Esakhuluma ngemingcele uBaird ngikhumbula ukuthi izingane uma zikhula kufanele zikwazi ezifanele zikwenze nezingafanele zikwenze.Ukubonela okwenziwa ezinye izingane ziyakhuthanda. Phela ziyakuthanda ukuba mdibi munye emaqenjini ikakhulukazi kulawa maqembu enza izinto ezingalungile. NgokukaReid (2013:26) uthi: The primary focus is on the subtle confrontations and contestations between the global gay movement and local experiences of gender and sexuality that have proved to be remarkabley resilient. Two sub themes emerge from this central focus- the one has to do with public perceptions of gays in the countryside, specifically a close association between gays and fashion, which is (as I will show) conceptually interchangeable with modernity. Ephawula ngokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, abanye abantu bakuthatha njengempucuzeko, imfashini nesimanjemanje. Ngokusho kwakhe yizona lezi zimo esezenza abantu bacabange ukuthi kuyadlalwa, akusiyo impilo abangayikholwa le bayamukele njengempilo ejwayelekile. UPhelan (1997:37) yena uthi: As a homosexual there is the false aspects of “self” which means a set of potentials and possibilities that may or may not be realised. UPhelan (1997) uphawula ngempilo yokuzenzisa eyengamela imiqondo yabanemizwa yokuthanda ubulili ubufanayo. Lokhu uchaza athi yitulo umuntu alisebenzisayo ukuze angabi isisulu sokucwaswa nokuhlukumezeka. Uqhuba athi uma ekhula eqala ukuzimela anganciki kubazali, yilapho buvela khona ubunjalo nokudalwa kwakhe. Umcwaningi uyakufakazela lokhu ngoba cishe kuyo yonke imibhalo ecwaningwayo ukuthi laba balingiswa abaphila le mpilo abazivezi ngesikhathi bethomba kodwa balinda isikhathi lapho sebezimele sebezisebenzela, bese beyiveza imizwa yabo. 116 UReid (2013:153) ukhuluma ngemihlangano yokuhlomisa abaphila le mpilo encwadini yakhe esihloko esithi, How To Be A Real Gay efundisa ngezihloko ezifana: Workshops conducted on (i) How to come out of the closet : ukuphumela obala (ii) AIDS:isifo sengculazi (iii) Homophobia: ukubhekana nenzondo eqondiswe kwabaphila le mpilo (iv) Homosexuality and Christianity: ubutabane nenkolo yobuKrestu Emibhalweni ecwaningwayo akukho lapho okuvela khona kuba nezindawo noma izinkundla ezisiza abaphila impilo yobutabane. UHollibaugh (2000:94) ubeka ngokuthi: But looking at the danger and damage done, we should also begin to look at sexuality itself and what we mean by words like desire, passion, craving and need. Echaza ngenhla uthi usumkhulu umonakalo osuwenzekile, ngakho ubulili ake sibubuke njengokufisa, uthando,ukuhalela nokudinga. Uthi lokhu kuzosiza ukukhulula labo abafisa ukuba obunye ubulili, abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo, abahalela ukwenza ucansi nobulili obufana nobabo, nalabo abadinga ubudlelwano obuhlukile kulobo obujwayelekile. Lapha intokazi le yakwaHollibaugh ngiyibona ihluba udlubu ekhasini ngoba le ndlela yokuphila yahlulelwa kangaka nje,-yingoba akubhekwa ukuthi uzizwa kanjani umuntu kodwa kubhekwa ukuthi ubulili buni noma unasiphi isitho somzimba. Lokhu kubiza ukuguqula indlela abantu abacabanga ngayo, abenza ngayo izinto nabaphatha ngayo abanye abantu. Ephawula uHunter (2010:12) uthi: Erotic practises are enormously varied and I agree with those who argue that studies of intimacy in Africa are generally heteronormative. 117 Uqinisile uHunter ngokuthi e-Afrika izindaba zocansi zibucayi kangaka nje yingoba kwaziwa ukuthi ucansi luba phakathi kowesilisa nowesifazane. Lokhu kufakazelwa abazali bakaNkosana abamfaka induku uma ekhombisa ukuthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe. Uqhuba athi ukugculiseka ocansini kutholakala ezindaweni ezahlukene emzimbeni ngakho le ndaba yocansi idinga ukucophelela uma ihlaziywa. Ngokujwayelekile uma kushiwo igama ucansi, engqondweni kufika isitho sangasese sowesilisa nesowesifazane, kanti akuzona zodwa lezi zindawo lapho abenza ucansi abangazijabulisa kuzona. Kanti uBech (1997:98) uthi: The city is the social world proper of the homosexual, not objecting that lots of homosexuals have lived in a country. In so far as they wish to be homosexuals, the vast majority must get out into “the city” one way or another, into the open mass of strangers. Lapho ekhuluma ngempilo yasemadolobheni ethi uma idolobha lilikhulu nazo izitabane ziba ningi, kanti uma lilincane nazo zimbalwa. Lapha akaqondi noma akachazi ukuthi ezindaweni zasemaphandleni azikho kodwa uthi yilapho okusabukeka kulihlazo khona ukuthi umuntu unemizwa yobulili obufana nobakhe. Okusho ukuthi kulezo zindawo zasemaphandleni abantu basadinga ukufundiswa kakhulu ngale mpilo. UPlummer (1981:153) uthi abantu besilisa badalwa benakho ukuthanda ubulili obufana nobabo, kodwa iningi liziphatha ngendlela okulindeleke ukuthi liziphathe ngayo, okungukuthandana nabesifazane. Ephawula uKimmel (2004:200) uthi: Love and companionship are important ingredients for a happy life. Ukufakazela okusiwo uKimmel (2004) injabulo ngempilo ayiphilayo nasazoyiphila uNkosana akayibekanga kubazali bakhe kepha wazithathela isinqumo sokubaleka ekhaya. Lokhu wakwenza ukuze athole injabulo, uthando nobudlelwano obuchazwa nguKimmel ngenhla. NgokukaHollibaugh (2000:83) uthi: 118 A movement be formed which can politically deal with sexuality in a broad based, cross cultural way. Inselelo enkulu ibhekene nathi sonke ekuvuleni amathuba lapho abantu abazolalelana khona, nalowo esho okuthile ngemizwa yakhe, kuvuleleke nakwamanye amasiko, ukuze kungabi khona ukwesaba ngalokho okuzwa ngaphakathi kuwe. 4.9 Ukwehluka kwemibono ngeminyaka yobudala: Bayeza Abanqobi KuMngadi (2013:87) abantu abadala abahlala lapha emgwaqweni uNkedama noJoanna bayazama ukukhalima laba bafana abangoDragon noDammon abaphila le mpilo yokudayisela isilisa ucansi. Okubuhlungu ukuthi ekukhuzeni kwabo bathola ukuthukwa ngezinhlamba ezinkulu, baze bazisole ukuthi bebekhuzelani. Abafanyana laba ababoni kukhona inkinga kule mpilo yabo ngoba njengoba bedayisa ngomzimba nje ababoleki imizimba yabo oNkedama laba, pho kungani bezikhathaza ngoba benza abakuthandayo ngemizimba yabo? 4.10 Okufanayo ezenzweni nasemicabangweni yabalingiswa bamanoveli acwaningiwe ngendikimba yobutabane. Lapha umcwaningi uqhathanisa abalingiswa kulawa manoveli awacwaningile ebheka okufanayo ezenzweni nasemicabangweni yabo ngendikimba yobutabane: UMhlengi enovelini ethi Bengithi Lizokuna noNkosana enovelini ethi Bayeza abanqobi UMhlengi uyazi kahle kamhlophe ukuthi ufunani ngempilo yakhe. Ukuthi ufuna ukuba umuntu wesifazane akahlawumbiseli ngakho. Esingenisweni senoveli uvela esesithathile isinqumo futhi eselwenzile nocwaningo ukuthi ukuguqulwa kobulili benziwa kuphi futhi kanjani. Udela konke uMhlengi okuyifa uyise azomshiyela lona, amasuphamakethe, amapulazi kaNgidi, kuphela nje uma ezothola le nkululeko akade ayeyifisa yokuba umuntu wesifazane. Kuyavela lokhu kuSibiya (2008:13) ukuthi: UMhlengi wayesehlele konke ngokuguqula kwakhe ubulili, enze nesiqiniseko esikhulu sokuthi akasebenzisi 119 imali kayise kodwa usebenzisa ephume ezithukuthukwini zakhe ukuze ekugcineni aziqhenye ngenkululeko yakhe futhi abe neqholo lokuthi akakweleti muntu ngempilo yakhe entsha azoyithola emva kwakho konke lokhu kukhandleka. NoNkosana wenza njengoMhlengi akalibali ukujabulisa abazali bakhe elokhu eziphathisa okomfana kepha ezizwa ukuthi uthanda abanye abafana. Uthatha isinqumo sokubashiya abazali bakhe ashiye nekhaya ancamele ukuyohlala emgwaqweni ukuze aphile le mpilo ayifisayo. Siyezwa kuMngadi (2012:29) uNkosana ethi: “Ngibalekiswe abazali ekhaya ngoba bengafuni ngithandane nabanye besilisa. Ngizizwa ngiyintombazane ebufaneni, futhi ngikhululeka uma ngiphakathi kwawo”. Ngakho-ke ukucabanga kwalaba balingiswa okunguNkosana noMhlengi kuyafana ngoba bathatha izinqumo ngezimpilo zabo, ukuze baphile le mpilo abayifisayo. UMandla enovelini ethi Bengithi Lizokuna noMusa enovelini ethi Bayeza abanqobi UMngadi uphawula ukuthi uNgwazi uba inkomo edla yodwa emigwaqweni yasePhoyinti. Isizathu salokho ukuthi abanye osikhotheni abadlwengula abanye abafana bambona njengomfana obuthaka ngoba uyakwenyanya ukuhlukunyezwa kwabafanyana ngocansi, behlukunyezwa abanye abafana, (Mngadi, 2012:19). Ngenkathi uNcamuncamu edlwengula uSidididi owafika emva kukaNgwazi la emgwaqweni. Uyakhala ebubuliswa ubuhlungu, ahluleke ukuzibamba uMusa avuke ukuze amlamulele ngokubeka ummese esiphongweni somdlwenguli onguNcamuncamu (Mngadi, 2012:19). Nalapho abafana abahlala emgwaqeni behlukumezana ngokocansi kuMngadi (2012:72) uthi: “Ufunani lapha wena ngoba wathi awuhlangani nalo mdlalo esiwudlalayo” Abafana laba basho kanje kuMusa ngoba usekwenze kwacaca ukuthi akazwani futhi akahambisani nokudlwengulana kwabafana bebodwa, kanjalo nokwabesifazane. 120 Kanti uSibiya (2008:94) uMandla owayengumngani kaMhlengi besafunda uthi: “Into eyasixabanisa noMhlengi ilifestyle ayeseyiphila ayiqala esikhaleni nje”. Lapha uMandla uyakuveza nangesimo sobuso bakhe ukuthi le lifestylekaMhlengi akhuluma ngayo wayeyenyanya ngoba uSibiya uthi uma ekhuluma ngayo uze abiphe, okukhombisa ukuthi le mpilo kaMhlengi avele wayiphila esikhaleni yayimcika. Umcwaningi ubona uMusa noMandla bengabafana abajwayelekile (straight) ngoba bakholelwa empilweni yokuthandana komfana nentombazane. Okunye ukuthi abangakholelwa kule mpilo ejwayelekile yothando phakathi komfana nentombazane, laba balingiswa bayaziqelelanisa nabo. Phela ubungani bukaMandla noMhlengi baqedwa yile lifestyle ayishoyo.Ngakho-ke izenzo zabo nemicabango yabo iyafana ngobutabane. 4.11 Okwahlukile ezenzweni nasemicabangweni yabalingiswa bamanoveli acwaningiwe ngendikimba yobutabane. Lapha umcwaningi ubheka izenzo nemicabango yabalingiswa engafani kula manoveli acwaningiwe, kanje: UNcamuncamu enovelini ethi Bayeza Abanqobi noNgidi enovelini ethi Bengithi Lizokuna Lawa ngamadoda amadala omabili atholakala kula manoveli acwaningwayo. Ungakulindela ukuthi njengoba becishe balingane ngeminyaka banemiqondo efanayo ngokulalana kwabesilisa bodwa, kodwa akunjalo. UNgidi akafuni nokuthi ize ingene nje emqondweni wakhe into yokuthi uMhlengi uthanda abesilisa. Lokhu sikuthola kuSibiya (2008:24) uNgidi ethi: “Phuma uphele emzini wami ngingaze ngikusakaze ngenhlamvu” Lapha uNgidi uxosha amathumbu akhe, uzinyobulala wakhe. Umxosha emva kokumtshela ukuthi uyisitabane. Kuphele uthando lomzali, wamenyanya ngenxa yale mikhuba amtshela yona. Useze uthembisa nokumdubula imbala. Siyakuthola futhi kuSibiya (2008:113) UNgidi eninga ngoMhlengi ethi: 121 “Ngiyathemba usawayeka nalawa manyala axoshelwa wona lapha ekhaya” Okusho ukuthi akayifuni ngempela le ndlela yempilo uNgidi uyibiza ngamanyala. Ngesingaye ubona kuwumsangano nje lo owawuphethe uMhlengi, okuthe ngokungaqhubeka kwesikhathi uyaphela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi uNcamuncamu yena kuMngadi (2012:11) uthi: “Angizwani nabesifazane. Ngizithandela nina”. Lokhu ukusho ngenkathi enukubeza ngokocansi uNgwazi okokuqala. Okufike kube indida ukuthi ngenkathi enukubeza abafanyana laba, yena uNcamuncamu uthi uyabafundisa ukuze bazi ukuthi bayokwenzenjani uma sebeqonywa, noma uma beboshiwe ejele (Mngadi, 2012:17). Okunye okunzima kulaba bafana abayisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ile nsansa ukuthi uma befuna ukuphumula ekudlwengulweni kufanele balethe omunye umfana okunguyena ozokhipha lo osuke kunguyena ‘intombi’ kaNcamuncamu ngaleso sikhathi.Lo mqondo anawo uNcamuncamu wokuthi athi engowesilisa omdala kangaka angathandani nabesifazane uyashayisana nokaNgidi. Mhlawumbe isizathu sokungefani kwemicabango nezenzo zabo, isizinda. UNgidi umnumzane onomuzi namabhizinisi, futhi wake waba nonkosikazi. Siyathola nokuthi emva kokuphoxwa uMhlengi omtshela ukuthi uyisitabane, uthatha isinqumo sokuphinde aganwe. Nangu enza amalungiselelo okuganwa uNomalanga. Kanti umbhali wenoveli ethi, Bayeza Abanqobi uyakuveza ukuthi uNcamuncamu udlwengula abafana nje, naye wakufundiswa kanzima ejele edlwengulwa ezinye iziboshwa (Mngadi, 2012:17). Kungenzeka ukuthi naye wayephila impilo ejwayelekile, ukungena ejele kwamguqula waphila impilo yobutabane. UXolani enovelini ethi Bengithi Lizokuna no-Adonis noDermon enovelini ethi Bayeza Abanqobi UXolani akakaze akucabange ukuthi uMahlengi muhle kanjena nje, ngakube wake waba umfana? Kuyahlaluka ukuthi ukube wake waba nezinsolo wayeyoxebuka zisuka nje, 122 unoxhaka ungaze umxhakathise. Nangu esiphethweni uma elizwa iqiniso, ehlehla nyova, kuSibiya (2008:149) akhale ngokuthi: “Hhawu, wangenza Mahlengi, hhawu wangenza Mahlengi” Ukhalela isikhathi sakhe. Ukhalela amandla akhe. Ukhalela uthando lwakhe okungaphezu kwakho konke ukhalela izingane zakhe esezishonile ngoba kade ezikhiyele endlini ebusuku ehambe waya kuMahlengi. Ubengazi ukuthi uthandana nenye indoda eyaguqulwa! Uyahluleka ukumelana naleli qiniso, ahambe. Kanti u-Adonis noDermon yiyona mpilo le kubo, ukulala nabesilisa ukuze bathole imali. Lokhu sikuthola kuMngadi (2012:39) ethi: “Vele ngeke bakushiye lapha emgwaqweni njengoba unobuhle bentombazane. Sizodla kahle, ngizokufundisa umsebenzi. Nami ngizoke ngiphile ngemali ezuzwe ngomzimba wakho njengoba nawe usuke wondliwa ngokugqilazwa kowami. Uma sisebenza ngokubambisana sizoyihlanganisa imali yokuqwayiza siyohlala efulethini, sivule owethu wokudla ngamadoda”. Laba bafana basemgwaqeni abanankinga ngokulala namanye amadoda. Babona kungaba ithuba elihle kabi labo lebhizinisi leli. Njengoba u-Adonis emncane ngeminyaka kuDermon, umakadebona lo umfaka ngekhanda kule nto ayesabayo. Phela ubaleke endaweni egcina izintandane ngoba umpathi wayo oyisilisa, kade ebadlwengula. Umcwaningi uqaphele ukwehluka kwemicabango ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo phakathi kwalaba balingiswa abangenhla ngoba uXolani uyazisola ngogibe azigaxe kulo kanti abafana laba oDermon no-Adonis abanankinga ngakho. Ngokujwayelekile iningi labafana abayizitabane liqala ngokuthandana namantombazane ukuze lithole abantwana nabo, emveni kwalokho liphumele obala. Lokhu kuthiwa yisenzo sokuzicabangela bona bodwa laba besilisa ngoba izintombi zabo lezi esezizale izingane zisala nezinhliziyo ezibuhlungu, lapho uyise wengane esephenduke isitabane. Lokhu kuqala ngokuphila impilo ejwayelekile ngaphambi kokuphumela obala bakwenziswa izizathu eziningi ezinye zazo okuyilezi: 123  Ukwesaba indlela abazoluthatha ngayo lolu daba lokuthandana nobulili obufanayo uma ubazisa.  Ukuthi bazobonakala njengamadoda angaphelele uma kungabesilisa, noma abesifazane abangaphelele uma kungabesifazane.  Ukubizwa ngalawa magama alumelayo aveza inzondo.  Ukuxoshwa emndenini nokukhishwa inyumbazane emphakathini. NoMhlengi encwadini ecwaningiwe uqala ngokuthandana noNontobeko kubukeke sengathi uphila impilo eyejwayelekile. Uyakufakazela lokhu noSibiya encwadini ecwaningiwe ukuthi uMhlengi wayesabekelela imali ukuze angasebenzisi ekayise uNgidi ekuhlinzweni kepha kube imali yezithukuthuku zakhe. 4.12 Okuzuzwe umcwaningi ngabalingiswa bamanoveli acwaningiwe Indlela abalingiswa abavezwe ngayo ababhali balawa manoveli ngale ndikimba yabathandana nobulili obufanayo isibeka sigqame bha isithombe semiphakathi esiphila kuwo esikhathini samanje. Okwenzeka ezitaladini ezinganeni ezihlala emigwaqeni zabafana namantombazane uMngadi ukwethulile enovelini yakhe ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi”, bese kuthi uSibiya kweyakhe inoveli ethi “Bengithi Lizokuna” igqamisa okwenzeka emadolobheni ngenxa yokuguquka kwezimo zempilo kanye nobuchwepheshe obukwazi ukuguqula umfana (uMhlengi) abe isiphalaphala sentokazi (uMahlengi). Kanjalo nendlela abenza nabacabanga ngayo abalingiswa abatholakala kulawa manoveli kuyahambisana nesikhathi esiphila kuso, kanye nendlela okuphilwa ngayo kulesi sikhathi. Indikimba yobutabane nayo iyodwa nje yethula okwenzeka esikhathini samanje. 4.13 Isiphetho Kulesi sahluko kuchazwe ngokuvezwa kwabalingiswa enovelini kaSibiya ethi, “Bengithi Lizokuna” nekaMngadi ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi”. Kubuye kwachazwa kabanzi ngemicabango yabalingiswa kuwo omabili amanoveli. Kuchazwe nokuthi izenzo nemicabango yabalingiswa ingaveza inkathi yamanje. Umcwaningi ubuye wadingida okwethulwa yizihloko zamanoveli acwaningiwe. Kubhekwe nokufanayo kanjalo nokungafani ezenzweni nasemicabangweni yabalingiswa bawo lawa manoveli. 124 Esahlukweni esilandelayo umcwaningi uqhubeka nokubheka izenzo nemicabango yabalingiswa bezindaba ezimfushane ezinhlanu ezicwaningiwe nazo ezinendikimba yobutabane. 125 ISAHLUKO 5 UKUVEZWA KWEMICABANGO NEZENZO ZABALINGISWA ZOBUTABANE EZINDABENI EZIMFUSHANE EZICWANINGIWE. 5.1 Isingeniso Uhlaziyomibhalo okuyindlela esetshenzisiwe kulolu cwaningo lapho kubhekwe imicabango nezenzo zabalingiswa ezindabeni ezimfushane ezikhethiwe. Le ndlela yokucwaninga ehlaziya imibhalo isetshenziswe ezindabeni ezimfushane ezikhethiwe zesiZulu ngokusebenzisa indikimba yobutabane etholakala kuzo. Kulesi sahluko kubhekwe izenzo zabalingiswa abayizitabane ezindabeni ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe kanye nezenzo kanye nemicabango yabasondelene nabo, okungaba umndeni, izihlobo nabathandana nabo. Nakuba abalingiswa bephila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo kulezi zindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningwayo, zidweba izithombe ezahlukahlukene kuye ngesimo ababhekene naso kuleyo naleyo ndaba emfishane. Umcwaningi uhlaziye indaba emfushane ngayinye ngaphansi kwalawa maphuzu: • Bayazi ngamalungelo abo • Bayaphokophela kwabakholelwa kukho • Ukudonsisana nokwehluka kwemibono • Abazali bayahlukumezeka. Uma sesiya ngasemaphethelweni isahluko, kuvezwe imibono yabalingiswa ngokwahluka kweminyaka yabo yobudala, imisebenzi emiselwe ubulili obuthile kanye nemilayezo eyethulwa izihloko zezindaba ezimfushane ezicwaningwayo. 5.2 Ukwazi ngamalungelo abo: Ezindabeni Ezimfushane UBaird (1995:37) uthi: Many gays argue that they have no choice, that they could not be otherwise than they are. Such assertion can take a variety of forms – for an example, that “being gay is natural for me’ or even that “God made me this way.” 126 Echaza okushiwo abaphila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo uBaird uthi bayafunga bayagomela ukuthi iyona ndlela abadalwe ngayo le, ubacaphuna bethi, “impilo yobunkonkoni iyimvelo”, abanye bethi, “uyena uNkulunkulu owasidala sabanje”. Uqhuba athi uma beke baliphatha igama likaNkulunkulu basuke sebezidonsele amanzi ngomsele ngoba yilapho okungena khona inkolo, bese kuqala impikiswano ethi, uMvelingqangi wadala owesilisa nowesifazane eBhayibhelini eliNgcwele kuGen 1: 18-24. Efakaza kulokhu u-Isaacs (1992:3) uthi abathandana nobulili obufanayo bafunda ukusukuma balwele amalungelo abo, belwisana nokukhishwa inyumbazane, ukucwaswa nokubizwa ngamagama ayiziswana ngamanye amalunga omphakathi. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Ngeke Kule ndaba emfishane kuyavela kuSibiya (2007:9) uMaZungu noNzuza bazele izinsizwa ezinguFalakhe noSabelo eziwazi kahle kamhlophe amalungelo azo. UFalakhe wazi kahle ukuthi wonke umuntu unelungelo lokuthandana nomuntu noma ngabe uphuma kusiphi isizwe noma ngabe uyiluphi uhlanga. Nakuba abazali bakhe bebhodla umlilo ngokuthandana kukaFalakhe neNdiya lakhe uFatima, kuSibiya (2007:12) uyaphokophela ukuthi uyalithanda iNdiya lakhe usengamane angabuthathi kwalobo bukhosi emva kokushona kukayise uNzuza. Amathemba kaNzuza asebheke kuSabelo ngoba uFalakhe vele esemxoshile emzini wakhe ngesenzo sakhe sokufuna ukushada noFatima. USabelo kuSibiya (2007:14) ulindelwe ngamehlo abomvu abazali bakhe ukuthi afike nomalokazana. Phela ngokukaNzuza uyena oseyiphosakubusa. USabelo ufika noThemba Shange azomethula njengomuntu azikhethele ukushada naye, (Sibiya 2007:17). Naye uSabelo uyawazi amalungelo akhe okuthandana nobulili obufiswa imizwa yakhe. Akanandaba ukuthi abazali bakhe bathini, noma bamfiselani. 127 Lokhu kuyafakazeleka kuBaird (1995:192) lapho aveza khona ukuthi abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo bafuna ukwamukelwa nje kuphela, bangalokhu becwaningwa indlela abaphila ngayo. Kulokhu okushiwo uBaird (1995) sithola ukuthi uNzuza ugxile ekutheni uSabelo uzoyithola kanjani indodana ezalwa uyena siqu sakhe uma ethandana nomunye wesilisa. Phela isiko lokuthatha izintambo zombuso lithi iphosakubusa kufanele libe elosendo lwenkosi ebusayo. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Amalungelo Lapha uThabani ubona kungcono angamazisi besekhaya unina uMaSithole ngemizwa yakhe. Kepha ubona kungcono azibonele yena, impilo ayiphilayo. Unina uMaSithole akafuni umntanakhe angenele amamashi lawa asuke ehlelwe izinhlangano ezikhalazela okuthile. KuMbatha (2011:91) uMaSithole uyayinxusa indodana yakhe ukuthi ingazihlanganisi neziteleka ngoba kugcina sekunodlame kufe nabantu kepha ikushaya indiva konke lokhu. KuMbatha (2011:93) uMaSithole ucela uMaMKhize ukuba amphelezele bayobona le mashi ehlanyisa uThabani ukuthi eyani, ngoba usabathe uyambuza ukuthi eyani ushona ezintangeni. Uma beqhamuka bazithela emashini enabantu ababukeka bengabesilisa kodwa abagqokise okwabesifazane, noThabani uyambona khona eqhulwini, baphethe amabhodi abhalwe ukuthi, “AMALUNGELO EZITABANE” Nakule ndaba emfushane kuyavela ukuthi uThabani akekho owayengamtshela ngalokhu akholelwa kukho. Nokumshintsha umqondo kwabe kungelula ngoba unelungelo lokuphila impilo ethandwa nguyena. Ukwenza kukaThabani kufakazelwa uBaird (1995:33) lapho ephawula ngoguquko kwezocansi, achaza athi akusesona isimbelambela sothando lowesilisa nowesifazane, kodwa kunezinye izindlela zokujabulisana okufanele abantu bafunde ukuzamukela. Uqhuba athi ukulangazelela komuntu ngamunye kocansi kunzima ukuthi akwazi ukukuchazela omunye umuntu ongayizwa le nto lo oyisitabane ayizwayo. 128 UThabani lokhu akholelwa kukho okungukulwelwa amalungelo ezitabane ngemashi kwenza ukuthi angakugqizi qakala ukuthi umfowabo uSipho washonela kuwo amamashi. Ngisho unina uMaSithole ekuveza ukuthi kuyisilonda esingakanani kuyena lokhu, hhayi kungena ngapha kuphume ngapha kuyena. UMaSithole uze akhiphe amazwi aziswana awabhekise kuThabani athi, soyicela ivuthiwe, ungakhohlwa ukuthi isalakutshelwa sibona ngomopho, konke lokhu kuwukuthela amanzi emhlane wedada endodaneni yakhe. Zonke lezi zenzo zifakazela khona ukuphokophela. Lezi zenzo zikaThabani ziwubufakazi bokusukumela amalungelo ezitabane okushiwo u- Isaacs (1992:3), uThabani uba ingxenye yemashi abayihlelile noma unina emnqabela. UHemmings (2002:26) ubalula ukuthi izitabane zizibona zingamaphutha, aziziboni zingabantu phaqa. Uqhuba athi ukunikwa kwazo amalungelo kwenza ukuthi zizizwe zingabantu nazo. Yingakho uma lawa malungelo egxotshagxotshwa zivele zivuke umbhejazane ziye emgwaqweni ziyowalwela. Nempokophelo kaThabani yokuya emashini ebe unina uMaSithole engazwani nalokho kufakazela khona ukuqinisa amakhanda kwalaba bantu uma into ithinta amalungelo abo. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Oqotsheni KuSibiya (2007:29) uMandla uxoxa ngokuthi bahlangana kanjani noThabile, nokuthi kwaba intombi yakhe yokuqala ezwana nodadewabo u-Ayanda owayengazwani nezintombi zikaMandla ngaphambilini. Nakuba lokhu kwamethusa uMandla ukuthi uThabile unanhlanhlani le edala ukuthi athandwe u-Ayanda kangaka, kodwa wabuye wabona ukuthi muhle kakhulu uThabile, mhlawumbe u- Ayanda ujabulela ukuthi wakhetha kahle umnewabo uMandla. Uqhuba axoxe ngokungabi mnandi kwempilo yabo sebeshadile. Uthi uMandla wazama zonke izinto ukuxazulula inkinga ababenayo. Wayezwa umkakhe kancane kancane eqhela kuyena. Waya nakuye udadewabo u-Ayanda eyozwa ukuthi njengoba bezwana kangaka, ubengakaze yini amhlebele ukuthi yini le ephazamisa uthando lwabo, kodwa u-Ayanda walandula. 129 Okuphawulekayo ukuthi kuSibiya (2007:32) ukuthi uMandla uma eyobika udaba ku-Ayanda umfica ephafuza ugwayi, ephuza notshwala lobu obushisa kakhulu obuhlanjululwa ngamanzi noma ngonemenayidi (ukudesha). Lapha kuvela isimo somuntu ongumfana kepha u-Ayanda wazalwa eyintombazane. Ngakho-nje lokhu kugqama ukuthi u-Ayanda uyawazi amalungelo akhe, uma esekhulile uhamba ayozihlalela endaweni yakhe yedwa, yikhona ezoyigila kahle le mikhuba yakhe, engabonwa muntu. Le nkululeko asenayo imenza enze noma ngabe yini ngoba akasekho phambi kwamehlo abazali. Nakho nje ukwenza okufana nokwabesilisa ukuhlala avule imilenze, aphafuze ugwayi njengendoda abakunaki abakwabo. UMandla ubamba umkakhe uThabile oqotsheni elele nomuntu emzini wabo, embhedeni wabo, kade esheshe wabuya emhlanganweni ayeye kuwona eThekwini. Ngenxa yokucasuka, uya ekhishini abuye nommese maqede abonde uThabile nalo muntu alele naye wesifazane ngommese baze bafe. Uma esebhekisisa sebefile eseshayele amaphoyisa nabomndeni ucingo, uthola ukuthi owesifazane obelele nomkakhe uThabile, ngudadewabo u-Ayanda. UBaird (1995:89) ukhala ngezinga lokwamukelana phakathi kwabaphila impilo eqondile nabathandana nobulili obufanayo lapho athi: Varying attitudes towards homosexuality are caused by degree of tolerance related to rates of depression and unhappiness. Tolerance is not enough, equal acceptance is required. Echaza uBaird uthi konke lokhu kukhuphula izinga lengcindezi, ukungabi bikho bokujabula kwabaphila le mpilo. NgokukaBaird ukwamukelwa kwalaba bantu akwanele, abaphathwe ngokufana nabaphila impilo ejwayelekile yokuthandana nobulili obuhlukile. Ephawula yena uBaird (1995:91) uthi: What makes people gay? To conservative moralists, homosexuality is a sin, a willful choice of godless evil. To many orthodox behaviorists, homosexuality is a result of a misguided upbringing. 130 Echaza uBaird (1995) ngenhla ngokuhluka kwezimpendulo zombuzo othi budalwa yini ubutabane. Abanye bathi isinqumo somuntu sokuphambana noNkulunkulu, kanti abanye bacabanga ukuthi abathandana nobulili obufanayo bakwenza lokhu ngoba bengakhuliswanga ngendlela abazali babo, noma ukuphambuka kwabo okwenzeka uma befika ebangeni lokuthomba. Konke lokhu uthi kungamampunge. Ubuqiniso bale ndlela yokuphila bulele emizweni, le engaphezu kokuqonda komuntu ukuthi yenzeka kanjani. NgokukaMinas (1993:525) abantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo bahlalelwe ijoka lokufundisa abakholelwa enqutsheni yokuthandana nobulili obuhlukile ngempilo abayiphilayo bona.Ukusika elijikayo nje, umcwaningi angaphawula ukuthi kuningi abantu abangakwazi ngale mpilo, ngakho okushiwo uMinas kuyiqiniso. UMinas (1993:525) ubeka imibono emithathu engasiza labo abangakholelwa ekutheni ikhona imizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobakho: (i) Ukuziba bashaye sengathi ababoni ukuthi ikhona le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, njengoba kwenza abazali baka-Ayanda. Iyasho indaba emfishane ukuthi wayegqokisa okwabafana ekhula kodwa umndeni wakhe wakushaya indiva konke lokho. (ii) Ukulingisa labo abathandana nobulili obufanayo hhayi ngoba nabo beyizitabane kodwa yikhona bezokuzwa ukuthi bumnandi buni obutholakala kule mpilo.Intsha iyathandana ukugcoboza nje ukuze izwe ukuthi into injani, ngakho uqinisile uMinas kwabanye basuke bengadaliwe. (iii) Umbono wokugcina kaMinas uthi ukuyiqeda iphele nya le ndlela yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Akachazi-ke ukuthi kungenziwa kanjani lokhu. Ngokomcwaningi lo mbono ubukeka ungeke waphumelela ngoba bakhona laba bantu, futhi bayakholelwa emizweni yabo. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Impohlo Kule ndaba emfishane kuNtuli (2001:169) njengokujwayelekile abazali bakaThemba onguzinyobulala kaMaNtombela noMzimela, bakhathazekile ngokuthi useze waphothula iziqu zakhe zobumeli useqalile nokusebenza kodwa lutho ukuganwa. 131 Bayaluxoxa omakhelwane udaba lokungaganwa kukaThemba basho nokuthi bayamsola ukuthi akuphelele ukuba umuntu wesilisa lapha kuyena. Lolu daba siluzwa uMaNtombela exoxa nomakhelwane wakhe uMaZulu. Abazali bakaThemba bayakhala njalo kuyena ngokuhamba kwesikhathi engamthathile umakoti. Uyabathembisa ukuthi maduze nje kuzolunga, kufanele baqalelele ukuthenga imiswenko belungiselela lolu suku lwakhe lomshado. Unina uMaNtombela wayengayizwa yonke leyo nto ngoba wayeshukwa imicabango yalezi zindaba azizwe ngoMaZulu. Lokhu okwenzeka kule ndaba emfushane kuhlaziywa kahle uBaird (1995:192) lapho athi khona ukuphila impilo yobutabane komntwana kuyabahlazisa abazali bakhe emndenini kanjalo nasemphakathini. Yingakho oMaZulu kwase kuyindaba yabo abaphuza ngayo amatiye le kaThemba. Sekwenzeka iphutha lokuwa kwesithombe somuntu wesilisa ngenkathi uThemba ephuma emnyango esephuthuma ukuyolanda izivakashi ezize kule ndumezulu yomcimbi esesontweni labo. Athi angasicosha nje uMaNtombela isithombe esinaleli hwanqa akhumbule amagama kaMaZulu avele ashayeke phansi, aquleke. Uphaphama nje emva kokuthelwa ngamanzi uMaNtombela omakhelwane sebegcwele umuzi. Athi angaphaphama abuze isithombe, abone uMaZulu nenye inkosikazi bebukana. Maye! Le ndaba yeshefa elithandana noThemba isiyaziwa yiwo wonke umuntu? Icwile kakhulu inhliziyo kuMaNtombela. UMzimela ugxeka uMaNtombela ngokwenzisa uThemba imisebenzi yasendlini okwaziwa ukuthi ngeyamantombazane. Uthi yikho indodana yakhe isiphenduke isitabane. Lokhu kufakazelwa uBaird (1995:192) lapho aphawula khona ukuthi abazali bazibeka bona icala lokungakhulisi kahle ingane yabo uma isiveze izimpawu zokuba isitabane. Khona manjalo besaqagulisana, kungene uThemba uhamba nalo uswahla lwensizwa le esesithombeni esiqathakile, kanye nomuntu wesifazane, abethule kubazali bakhe, owesilisa ngusomabhizinisi ozoxhasa indawo yangakubo, kanti owesifazane uDkt. Nosipho Sibiya azoshada naye. 132 Uvuka qingqo uMaNtombela kuphele ukugula asho omkhulu umkikizo lo, bangene sebebhocobele oMaZulu akade bezohogela izindaba zesitabane sikaThemba asilande esikhumulweni sezindiza. Phela baphoxwa ukuthi ungumfana phaqa. Ukufakazela amagama aziswana okubizwa ngawo laba abathandana nobulili obufanayo njengoba kusho u-Isaacs (1992:3) kuyenzeka kuThemba kule ndaba emfushane, izinsolo zabo njalo zincike ekutheni udlulelwe isikhathi sokuganwa, ngakho ngokubona kwabo kukhona inkinga anayo. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Umhlaba Ushingile UBafana uyabahlonipha abazali bakhe, oMkhabela noMaMnisi. Inkinga yakhe ngabo ukumshusha ngokuzobabonisa umakoti azoshada naye. Indlela ababelesela ngayo, usezama ngazo zonke izindlela uBafana ukuyigwema le nkulumo yokuzobakhombisa intombi yakhe. Uyawazi futhi uyakholelwa elungelweni lokuthi kufanele aganwe umuntu amthandayo, hhayi lo ofunwa abazali bakhe. Nakuba abazali bakhe bengakaze banake ukuthi ekukhuleni kwakhe ubengazihlanganisi kakhulu nabantu besifazane, kepha akukho abake bakusola ngobulili bakhe. Bashaywa ibhomu mhla equnga isibindi ebalethela umuntu azoshada naye okwaba nguLindelani, okungumngani wakhe kusuka kudala abamaziyo nabo lapha ekhaya. UBertram (2000:103) uveza ukuthi: With the onset of adolescence, there is the experience of desire increasingly discordant with mainstream heterosexist society and the subsequence emergence of problems, often those associated with guilt and secrecy. Kule ndaba emfishane uyamlahla unembeza uBafana wokuthi lesi simo akuso angeke abazali bakhe bahambisane noma basivume. Yingakho esethathe isikhathi eside kangaka ukuletha umalokazane akade abazali bemlindile ngamehlo abomvu. 133 Le mfihlo yakhe ivela obala nje, akusiyo into entsha, imfihlo yakhe endala akade eyigcine phakathi kwakhe noLindelani, lokhu kufakazela uBertram ngalolu hlobo lwempilo. UMkhabela uwotha ubomvu, akafune nakuyizwa indaba yokuthi uBafana uzoganwa omunye umfana. Kuze kulamule umngani kaMkhabela uSithole omncengayo ukuba ehlise umoya.Uyalazisa ilungelo lakhe lokuzikhethela azohlekisana naye uBafana ngoba esiphethweni sendaba emfushane sethulelwa umgcagco kaBafana noLindelani. Ukhala ngokushinga kwezwe uMkhabela, kanti uSithole yena ubona ukuthi lokhu kudalwa ukungabi bikho kokuxhumana nobudlelwano obuhle phakathi kwabazali nezingane zabo, ukugwema ukuthi zingathathi izinqumo ezingalungile. Uqhuba athi ukuba uMkhabela wayenobudlelwano nomfana wakhe wayeyosheshe akubone lokhu bese eyakunqanda. Ukhala ngokuziqhelisa kwethu izingane kithi, size sisondele kuzo uma sekukhona osekonakele, athi lokhu kusazodala eziningi izinkinga. USithole ufakazela umbono kaBaird (1995:192) uthi: There are usual threads of disgrace, parents be humiliated, sometimes traumatised for life. Ngenkathi abanye abantu bethi kubazali ubutabane bengane buyichilo, kuba sengathi bahlulekile ukukhulisa umntwana wabo ngendlela. Phela okujwayelekile uma kungenziwa ingane ingcabha iba phezu kwabazali. Lapho-ke abazali bayosala nenkebenkebe yengozi engqondweni impilo yabo yonke. Ukweseka umbono kaBaird sithola u-Isaacs (1992:3) ethi abantu abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo abaguli ekhanda nakancane, baphila saka. 5.3 Bayaphokophela kwabakholelwa kukho: Ezindabeni Ezimfishane Ukuphokophela kwabakholelwa kukho abayizitabane siyakubona kulezi zindaba ezimfishane: 134 Endabeni emfishane ethi: Ngeke Uyise kaSabelo ovuthondabeni lwale ndaba emfishane ushaya phansi ngonyawo, uthi ngeke uSabelo ashade nenye indoda, kanti naye uSabelo uthi lingawa licoshwe zinkukhu yena angeke nje angashadi nesithandwa sakhe uThemba Shange. Okubuhlungu ukuthi iyaphela lapha le ndaba emfishane singasazanga noma bagcina beshadile yini oSabelo noThemba, kodwa ngokusho kukaNzuza ebhavumula ngolaka ugcina ethe, lutho ngeke kwenzeke lokho, nakuba indodana yakhe isho ukuthi imthanda kangakanani uThemba. Ngokusho kukaMinas (1993:320) uthi: In popular morality, the charge that homosexuality is immoral because unnatural appeals to a principle so narrow as to be arbitrary. Ubutabane buyamaniswa nokungalandeli indlela eyimvelo ngakho abaningi bakholelwa ekutheni akuhambisani nesimilo, okungukuthi abaphila le mpilo abakwazi ukuziphatha. Uqhuba athi abazali bayalulazeka futhi bayayenyanya le mpilo yokuthandana kwabanobulili obufanayo. Lokhuokushiwo uMinas ngenhla uma ukubhekisa kuNzuza osehlazwe uFalakhe ngokushada neNdiya ngakho ngeke esaba iphosakubusa, amathemba akhe onke asebheke kulo Sabelo osezomgqema enkulu ingozi ngokufika nomuntu wesilisa athi nguyena muntu amthandayo azoshada naye. Njengenkosi ebusayo kulesi sizwe uNzuza uzibona elulazekile kakhulu. Unamahloni ubona namadodana akhe eyihlazo emphakathini nasesizweni sonkana. Leli hlazo ubona bethele umuzi wakhe ngalo baze bathela naye uqobo eyinkosi. UNzuza ulwa nokuthola incazelo azoyitshela isizwe sakhe mayelana nendaba yephosakubusa ngoba ngokwazi kwesizwe akufanele abe nenkinga yena ngalokho ngoba uzele nanka amadodana amabili uFalakhe noSabelo. Ulwa noSabelo kangaka nje, yingoba unamahloni, le mpilo ephilwa uSabelo uyibiza ngamanyala, (Sibiya 2007:17) 135 Endabeni emfishane ethi: Amalungelo UMaSithole uyazama ukubonisa uThabani ngobungozi bemibhikisho, nakuba engazi ukuthi lo mbhikisho azobe eye kuwo uThabani kuyokhalazelwani kuwo. Ukuphokophela kukaThabani kwenziwa ukwazi nokukholelwa kule mpilo ayiphilayo. Akanandaba nobungozi obushiwo wunina. Kubukeka kuyitulo lakhe uThabani ayesecabange ukulisebenzisa ukuze uMaSithole azi ukuthi uphila mpiloni. Kule mibhikisho yabalwelwa amalungelo ezitabane, siyaye siyibone komabonakude, kunendlela abagqoka ngayo labo besilisa abazenza abesifazane ehlasimulisa umzimba. Ephawula ngalokhu uMinas (1993:304) uthi onembeza kufanele benze umsebenzi wokusikhuza uma sesiphambuka endleleni. Ukuthandana nokubulili obufanayo umuntu akazenzele yena, hhayi abanye abantu. Ubalula nangokuthanda ukubukwa nokubukisa okwenziwa abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Yini enye ayengabe esayenza uMaSithole ngoba wayeselande nomngani wakhe uMaMkhize wathi akazomkhuzisa le ngane eqhubeka nokufuna ukuya emashini yazi kahle ukuthi umfowabo ulele kobandayo yiyona imashi le. Iziteleka namamashi alabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo awokuguqula ukuzidabukela kube ukuziqhayisa ngemizwa yabo. U-Oakley (1972:20-21) unemidwebo ngokukhula kwezitho zangasese zowesilisa nowesifazane ngenkathi ingane isesesiswini sikanina. Lolu cwaningo lwakhe luyaveza ukuthi ngenkathi imvelo inquma ukuthi umntwana lowo ungumfana noma intombazane, ingaphakathi liguquka lifane nengaphandle, kodwa iyasala ngaphakathi inkeshezana yalobu obunye ubulili. Okuchaza ukuthi imizwa yobutabane ivela kuyo le nkeshezana esele ngaphakathi yobulili obuhlukile kobungaphandle. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Oqotsheni Kuyavela kule ndaba emfishane ukuthi uMandla uma esekhathazekile ngokuthi akuhambi kahle emshadweni wakhe noThabile uya kudadewabo u-Ayanda ayofuna izeluleko. Isizathu salokho ukuthi uMandla uyazi ukuthi uThabile no-Ayanda bayezwana. Ukuya kwakhe ku- 136 Ayanda kuwukuthi ufuna ukwazi ukuthi yini le ephethe umkakhe, ngoba kungenzeka ukuthi u-Ayanda sewake wamtshela. Laba abathandanayo oThabile no-Ayanda abangabantu besifazane bayaqhubeka nokuthandana nakuba bebona ukuthi uMandla kukhona akusolayo. Ngalesi sikhathi u- Ayanda wayesesebenza esenendawo yakhe yokuhlala okungukuthi ukuba wayephila impilo eqondile wayengabe useganile. UMinas (1993:323) uthi uma ulandela amabanga okukhula komuntu ophila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe, uyathola ukuthi akekho okuhlelayo ukuba yilolu hlobo kodwa kuyazenzekela ngoba indlela adalwe ngayo. Kanti uHerdt (1989:68) uthi: Homosexual identity formation is continuous, a process of “becoming” that spans a lifetime, a process “striving but never arriving”. Ecaphuna ocwaningweni lukaTroiden othi ubutabane akusiyo impilo ehlala isikhathi eside kwabanye. Kwabanye iyashabalala ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, athi umuntu kade eyisitabane, seniyambona usethanda ubulili obuhlukile kobakhe. Naye uThabile kusho ukuthi ukugana uMandla abuye athandane no-Ayanda kwakuyikho nje ukuyishaya emuva ayishaye naphambili. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Impohlo Le ndaba emfushane yehlukile kwezinye ngoba uThemba akathandani nabantu abanobulili obufana nobakhe, kodwa omakhelwane batshela abazali bakhe ukuthi uphila le mpilo. Kuyabakhathaza kakhulu lokhu abazali bakhe ngoba nabo babona esedlulelwe isikhathi sokuganwa, ngakho lezi zinsolo kungenzeka zibe iqiniso. UThemba yena uyaphokophela ngoba abazali bakhe sebekhathazeke kangaka nje, akawushintshi umqondo ngokuganwa kwakhe. Ulinda isikhathi esilungele yena. Ngisho uMaNtombela ebalisa imihla namalanga, yena ume nje kwelokuthi luyeza usuku lomshado wakhe, akabe eqale elungiselela ngoba kobe kushikisha ufudu. 137 UBrowning (1993:16) ucaphuna umfundi etshela omunye ezikabhoqo ethi; “Well, everybody knows you‘re queer” Lapha ukhuluma ngendaba yokuthi abantu bayakwazi ukubona umuntu oyisitabane bengakatshelwa ngisho nanguye ophila le mpilo. Nakuba kuThemba babeyikaka lapho engalele ngakhona, umbhali wale ndaba emfushane akukho lapho achaza khona ukuthi ukuma komzimba, nokuhamba kanye nokunye izitabane ezibonakala ngakho ukuthi kwabe kukhona kuThemba. Nempela ovuthondabeni luyashikisha ufudu, nangu uNosipho Sibiya esezongena emagcekeni abe unkosikazi kaThemba lo obesolwa ngobutabane. Kulokhu kuphokophela kukaThemba ukufeza izidingo zakhe anganaki ukuthi abantu bathini, kuyasifundisa ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi okushiwo abantu ngathi kusuke kungelona iqiniso. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Umhlaba Ushingile Abazali bakaBafana uma bebelesela ngokuthi akaganwe, akabaphenduli kodwa uvele ajokole abashiye bekhuluma. Leso senzo siveza umqondo wokuthi “ukube niyazi” okungukuthi uma esemletha lowo makoti abamfunayo mancane amathuba okuthi bayoke bamjabulele. UMaMnisi usondelene kakhulu nendodana yakhe, uMkhabela uthuma yena ukuthi alokhu eyihlokoloza indaba yokuganwa ukuze ezwe ukuthi ngabe inkinga yokungathathi komfana ikuphi. Banalo bona abazali bakaBafana ulwazi lokuthi akakaze abizwe ngasiketi, ngoba akasondelani nje nabantu besifazane. Bakhuluma nangokuthi owabo sekukaningi bethethiswa ngezindaba ezithinta amantombazane, kepha lo owabo umntwana akuthi nda! Ngalesi sikhathi usehlanganise iminyaka engama-30 obudala uBafana kodwa akayiphathi eyokuganwa. Muhle umuntu lo, iqhathanzipho, manje oMaMnisi noMkhabela bayaxakeka nje ukuthi inkinga ikuphi. 138 Nakuba uMkhabela engazi ukuthi nkingani le eyenza uBafana angaganwa, kepha ngenkathi embizile uyamtshela ukuthi kunento nje emtshelayo ukuthi unenkinga enkulu uBafana le ebamba ukuthi aganwe. Ukuba ungenye nje ingane uBafana ubezovele enze imizamo yokucela noma ngabe iyiphi intombazane eze nayo kubo ukuzokhohlisa abazali bakhe, njengoba kwenza abanye abagcina beganwa ngenxa yabazali. UBrowning (1993:27) uthi: We even hide it to ourselves; there is no place in this country where homosexuals are safe, no place where they are not targeted for hatred and attack, the self- hatred, the suicide-of the closet. Echaza uBrowning (1993) uthi ukuphila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo ukwenza ngokusaba nangokufihla futhi usuke unamanga kubantu kanye nakuwe uqobo. Uqamba amanga ngokuwena ngoba wesaba ukufaka impilo yakho engcupheni. Ngakho-ke ukungenzi isicelo sabazali bakhe uBafana sokuletha intombazane azoshada nayo mhlawumbe kwabe kungukwesabela ukuthi ngeke bamemukele lo muntu azomletha. Nakhu esiphethweni sendaba ethi uma emletha bangamemukeli ngezandla ezimhlophe uLindelani njengomakoti. 5.4 Ukudonsisana nokwehluka kwemibono: Ezindabeni Ezimfishane Abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo bayehluka ngemibono kulabo abangamalunga emindeni yabo. Lokhu sikubona: Endabeni emfishane ethi: Ngeke Echaza uNjilo (2014:17) uthi: Kufanele kukhumbuleke ukuthi leso naleso sizwe sinosikompilo lwaso esifisayo ukuthi lolo sikompilo lungashabalali kepha lugcineke esizweni ukuze isizukulwane esilandelayo naso siyolwazi. Lapha uchaza ngobungozi bokuthi usikompilo lushabalale, lokho kungadala inzondo phakathi kwalabo ababonwa yimiphakathi njengabantu abenza ukuthi lolo sikompilo lushabalale. Anezele ngokuthi imiphakathi eminingi ibona sengathi abathandana nobulili obufanayo 139 bazodala ukuthi usikompilo lokugana/ ganwa okuphakathi kowesilisa nowesifazane lugcine lushabalele. Kulokhu uNjilo (2014) akuchazayo abalingiswa bezindaba ezimfushane ezicwaningiwe kubhekwa izinto ezibaqhuba ngemuva (drives) ukuze benze ngale ndlela abenza ngayo kule mibhalo eyizindaba ezimfishane ehlaziywayo. UBertram (2000:90) ubeka uthi: It is during youth that there arises anticipation and an interest in planning a future which connects family traditions with the larger society. Isiminya lesi esibalulwa uBertram ngoba abazali yikhona lokhu abasuke bekulindele kubantwana babo. Kuyaye kuhluke-ke kwabanye abantwana njengoba sizobona kule mibhalo eyizindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe ukuthi ukwenza kwalaba bantwana babafana kuhlukile ezifisweni zabazali babo. Ecaphuna omunye ophila le mpilo ekhuluma uBrowning (1993:16) uthi: How could everybody know the answer to the mystery that had so thoroughly eluded the person inside my body? Lo wesilisa wayezibuza eziphendula ukuthi yini le ndida eyenziwa imizwa yakhe, bathi abafana belangazelela isifazane yena wafisa umuntu wesilisa? Uthi lesi simo sikwenza nawe ungazazi ukuthi unhloboni kapende, ngakho abantu bangakwehluleli kodwa bakweseke. Akukho-ke ukwesekwa kukaSabelo esikuthola kule ndaba emfishane, sibona ukudonsisana kuvuthondaba lapho uNzuza eshaya phansi ngonyawo noSabelo naye efunga egomela ukuthi akekho omunye umuntu azoshada naye ngaphandle kwesithandwa sakhe uThemba Shange. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Amalungelo Ukudonsisana nokwehluka kwemibono kutholakala ngalesi sikhathi engakazi uMaSithole ukuthi uThabani uthandana nabanobulili obufana nobakhe, kepha babanga ukuthi kungakuhle angayi emashini ngenxa yokungozi bokubulawa kwabantu ngamaphoyisa uma besezitelekeni. 140 Lapho okuvela khona ukuthi bayehluka ngemibono ingalesi sikhathi uMaSithole esembona uThabani ehamba phambili ephethe uqwembe olubhalwe ukuthi “AMALUNGELO EZITABANE” avele awe phansi aquleke. Ukwethuka kuphele nasozwaneni kuveza isimo sokungasemukeli nokungakholwa yilesi simo abhekene naso uMaSithole. UBrowning (1993:59) ukhuluma ngezinselelo abaphila le mpilo ababhekene nazo. Uthi bayazi ukuthi banemiqansa ebalindile ukuba bayiqwale enjengokuzamukela bona uqobo, ukwazisa imindeni yabo ngempilo abayiphilayo, nokwamukela indlela abazophathwa ngayo emphakathini. Abalwela amalungelo ezitabane eMelika bathi balwela ukukhululwa kwabathandana nobulili obufana nobabo ukuze kuzalwe imindeni evumela ukuzikhethela kwezothando okukhululekile. (Johnson 2005:29). Uqhuba athi ukuba yidlanzana kwabathandana nobulili obufana nobabo uma beqhathaniswa nabaningi abathandana nobulili obuhlukile kuyinkingana ngoba bona bazizwa bengamukelekile futhi bengaphephile. Esesonga uthi ubuningi nobuncane abusho lutho kepha amalungelo okuphila impilo engenakucwaswa nokucindezeleka amalungelo awo wonke umuntu. Ukudonsisana phakathi kukaMaSithole noThabani okudalwa ukwehluka kwemibono, kuhamba kuze kufike ekugcineni lapho uMaSithole eseziyela yena mathupha kule mashi ukuze ambambe amyobule esephakathi kuyo le mashi uThabani ngoba akamlalelanga uma emenqabela ukuthi angayi. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Oqotsheni Ekhuluma ngemishado yabathandana nobulili obufanayo uPhelan (1997:18) uthi: A priest announcement, “I pronounce you man and wife” is based on gender norms that operate requiring the embodiment of certain ideals of femininity and masculinity. 141 Lapha ebalula ukusho komfundisi ngenkathi eshadisa owesilisa nowesifazane athi, “ngiyanethula njengendoda nomfazi” uthi lokhu ukusho enganaso isiqiniseko ukuthi laba abashadisayo bangubulili obungefani yini. Isiqiniseko asuke enaso esokuthi omunye ugqoke imbilijisi, kanti owesibhuda ugqoke ingubo kodwa usuke engakwazi okungaphakathi emizimbeni yabo. Le ndaba emfushane ikuveza ngezidumbu zabantu ababili esezilele phambi komndeni eziveza umphumela wokudonsisana nokwahluka kwemibono. Kulokhu kwehluka kwemibono kuvela nemizwa u-Ayanda akade enayo kodwa engayitsheli muntu. Ulaka oludalwa ukungethembeki kukaThabile kumyeni wakhe uMandla kwaholela ekutheni uMandla avele ababulale bobalili oThabile neshende lakhe. Intukuthelo yenza ukuthi angabe esabona nokuthi lo omunye wesifazane ambonda ngommese u-Ayanda, udadewabo azalwa naye sisu sinye. Akunanazwa ukuthi umndeni wakubo kaThabile ngeke uphinde uhambelane nowakwaSibisi ngesizathu sokuthi uMandla ubulale indodakazi yabo. Lokhu kufakazela ukudonsisana okusemindenini. Emva kokuqala kwezinkinga phakathi kukaThabile noMandla, vele kusuke sekukhona ukudonsisana ngoba uyasho uMandla uma echaza emva kokubabulala ukuthi kwabe kungasekho ukuzwana kowesilisa nowesifazane abashadile phakathi kwakhe noThabile. Uchaza athi ngisho ukuqabulana lokhu kwase kungomkhulu umsebenzi. Nangenkathi ehamba nomsebenzi uMandla wayesicelile isithandwa sakhe ukuthi simphelekezele sabika imbiba sabika ibuzi, kanti siyazi ukuthi sifuna ukuba nesikhathi esanele neshende laso, okungudadewabo kaMandla u-Ayanda. Okwenziwa uMandla uma ebabhadama kwafakazela isimo esingesihle abase bevele benaso emshadweni wabo. Ukuthola isizathu sezinkinga zabo yikhona okwamthukuthelisa waze wakhipha izidumbu. Nasendabeni emfushane ethi, “Oqotsheni” uThabile uzenza umuntu ophila impilo eyejwayelekile, bese kuthi uma esehlangene no-Ayanda ubunjalo bakhe buhlale obala ukuthi uthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe. 142 Omunye wababhali abacashunwe ezahlukweni ezingenhla bayakuveza ukuthi kunzima kakhulu kulabo asebeshadile ukuphumela obala. Kubuhlungu kakhulu futhi kunzima ukwamukela ukuthi uhlukile awufani namanye amadoda noma amakhosikazi. Uqhuba athi ubuhlungu bansuku zonke lobu ngoba into ayicabangayo ukuthi kazi mhla lo muntu ashade naye walazi iqiniso lokuthi unemizwa yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo uyokwenzenjani:  ngabe uyosamukela lesi simo?  ngabe uyomuxosha?  ngabe uyomephuca izingane?  ngabe yena lo oshade naye ngeke acabange ukuzibulala na? Yingakho abaningi ababhekene nalesi simo bencamela ukugcina bebafihlele labo abashade nabo ngesimo semizwa yobulili obufana nobabo abanayo. UMandla endabeni ethi “Oqotsheni” wathi angabamba oqotsheni uThabile akabe esabuza wavele wambulala yena “nesoka” lakhe. Ucabanga lesi sikhathi ehlala noThabile emfihlelile ukuthi uthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe. Lesi senzo siveza ubuqiniso bokufihlela oganene naye ngemizwa yakho. Ezinye izimo abashadile ababhekana nazo zenza bagcine bencamele ukuthandana nobulili obufana nobabo, hhayi ngoba benemizwa enjalo. Abesifazane abanye bahlukunyezwa ukungena bephuma emishadweni yobulili obuhlukile bagcine bezibona njengezehluleki kulolu hlobo lobudlelwano baze bazithandanele nabanye besifazane asebeke bahlukumezeka njengabo ebudlelwaneni bowesilisa nowesifazane. Lapha kuba nothando kanye nokuzwelana kulezi zitabane zabesifazane ngoba bobabili bayabazi ubunzima bokuhlukunyezwa abesilisa ebudlelwaneni obudlule. Lena yindlela yokubalekela ukugqilazwa abesilisa ngokusho kwalaba besifazane asebephila impilo yobutabane kodwa baqala ngokuthandana nabesilisa. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Impohlo Ukudonsisana kulo mndeni kudalwa omakhelwane ngezinsolo zabo zokuthi uThemba uthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe. Uma esehamba eya esikhumulweni sezindiza uThemba sekuqathaka isithombe somuntu wesilisa sekuyagcwaliseka lokhu okuyinsolo ezishiwo oMaZulu. 143 Kuyabonakala nokho ukuthi inkinga ayinkulu kakhulu ngoba uThemba akalwisani nabazali bakhe kodwa uvele athi abazilungiselele ngoba zizowushaya maduzane nje. Kodwa okuphawulekayo ukuthi bona bodwa bayaxabana bebanga ukuthi unina kaThemba nguyena owayemenzisa imisebenzi eyenziwa amantombazane yingakho esephenduke lolu hlobo lomuntu. KuBailey (2003:6) kuvela ukuthi: Patrick (Danny’s dad) found Danny playing with a Barbie while wearing his sister’s tutu, and furiously snatched the doll away. He took Danny to the living room where he accused his mother for Danny’s actions. Sekuyahlaluka ngokushiwo uBailey ukuthi nabazali bomntwana bagcina bexabene uma enezimpawu zobutabane nangu uyise kaDanny ulwisa unina kaDanny ongumfanyana oneminyaka emihlanu ozenza intombazane, uthi nguyena omvumelayo umfanyana lo uma edlala ngonodoli futhi egqokisa okomuntu wesifazane, kufanele amnqabele. Naye umama kaDanny uyavuma ukuthi wenza iphutha lokumvumela ngoba ezitshela ukuthi yinto yesikhashana azobuye ayiyeke uDanny le yokuzenza intombazanyana ebe engumfanyana. Ukudonsisana okwenza ukuthi abazali bangabe besayizwa kahle le ndaba yakhe yokuphuza ukuganwa uThemba ukuthi sekunalezi zinsolo ezishiwoyo ngaye uThemba. Okunye okubakhathaza kakhulu abazali bakhe ukuthi usebalindise isikhathi eside kakhulu lo makoti engafiki. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Umhlaba Ushingile Isizathu sokuthi abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo bangamukeleki futhi bangasekwa abaphila impilo ejwayelekile, kwenza kube sengathi lolu hlobo lwempilo alwamukelekile. Kwabaningi kungathi le mpilo yinto eysimanjemanje, kanti nasemandulo babekhona abantu abayizitabane ukuthi nje babengaphumeli obala. UBertrams (2000:104) ubeka kanje: 144 Central to these stereotytpes is a presumption that same- gender sexual orientation can be understood as a reversal of sex roles. Kuyiqiniso lokhu okushiwo uBertrams (2000) uMkhabela ubona umhlaba uphendukile ngoba sekunabafana abaganayo. Ukugana ngokujwayelekile okwabantu besifazane. Kukhulu ukudonsisana phakathi kwalo mndeni. Isizathu ukuthi nabo abazali bakaBafana abasho lutho kuye ngalokhu abakusolayo ngempilo yakhe. Uma bebhunga bodwa bayasho ukuthi abakaze bezwe kuthiwa unentombi, kodwa uma bekhuluma naye balindele ukuthi alethe owesifazane. Nasekukhuleni kwakhe abakhumbuli kuthiwa ushela intombi yasekuthanathaneni kodwa bona abakukhulumi naye lokhu. Into ewumdonsiswano phakathi kwabo noBafana ukuthi kanti uza nini umakoti wabo bazombona. UBafana akanawo umdlandla wokuletha lo muntu azoshada naye ngoba uyazi ukuthi abakubo ngeke bamamukele. Ngakolunye uhlangothi yena ulwa namacebo okuphunyuka kulo noxhaka wokuletha umakoti. UBailey (2003:115) uthi umuntu wesilisa othandana nobulili obufana nobakhe unembewu yokukhulelisa encane uma iqhathaniswa neyomuntu othandana nobulili obuhlukile. UHerdt (1989:61) ocwaningweni lukaTroiden uveza ongakwenza uma uphila le mpilo lapho ethi: Experienced homosexuals provided neophytes with role models from whom they learn:  Stratergies of stigma management  Rationalization that legitimise homosexuality and neutralise guilt feelings  The range of identities and roles available to homosexuals.  The norms governing homosexual conduct. UBafana wayengakwenza lokhu okuchazwa uBailey noHerdt ngenhla okuwukuthola abantwana, athekele nolwazi lokuthi angaphila kanjani ngaphansi kwalesi simo abhekene naso. Ingcindezi enkulu yabe isekhaya kubazali engazi ukuthi uzobazisa kanjani ukuthi akabuthandi lobu bulili abalindele ukuthi eze nabo uma esezokwethula kubona umuntu azophilisana naye. 145 5.5 Abazali bayahlukumezeka: Ezindabeni Ezimfishane Kujwayelekile ukuthi kuthiwe izinyembezi zomuntu omdala ziyisiqalekiso kuleyo ngane emenza ukuthi akhale. Abalingiswa abaningi kulezi zindaba ezimfushane bayabakhalisa abazali babo, nakuba kungesikhona ukukhala kokuphuma kwezinyembezi. UBailey (2003:10) uphawula athi: Leslie (Danny’s mom) became increasingly sad and worried about Danny and believed she was depressed. Kuba nengcindezi abazali ababa nayo uma benabantwana abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Uthi unina kaDanny ongumfanyana owakhombisa izimpawu zokuthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe ngoba ezenza intombazane, wathi eba neminyaka emihlanu, wayesethole ukwelulekwa kwengqondo kaninginingi unina ngoba sasimhlukumeza isimo sengane yakhe. Kuyiqiniso lokhu ngoba ingcindezi yokwamukela ukuthi umntwana wakho uphila impilo ehlukile engafani neyabantwana abanobulili obufana nobakhe iyabakhathaza abazali. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Umhlaba Ushingile Kule ndaba emfushane uMkhabela uze alule izinyawo aye kobhunga nomngani wakhe uSithole. Isizathu salokhu ukufuna ukuthola uvo lwenye indoda ngalokhu okumkhathaze kakhulu okwenziwa nguBafana. UMkhabela ukubona kuwubuhlongadlebe obuphindiwe ukuthi atshelwe abazali bakhe ukuthi bafuna ukubona umalokazana wakhe uBafana kodwa yena angamlethi. Akuyena yedwa uMkhabela okhathazekile, noMaMnisi naye kumphethe kabi lokhu okwenziwa uBafana ukuthalalisa bona bejahe ukubona umalokazana. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Amalungelo Yini enye umzali angayenza uma ezama ukuphephisa umntwana wakhe engozini? Usezame konke uMaSithole ukunqanda uThabani ukuthi angayi emashini, wangqubuleka 146 nakoMaMkhize efuna bambhulise umlilo kodwa akusizanga. Usemsebenzini nje, akusebenzeki ucabangana noThabani. Uze uyacela kumlungu wakhe njengoba esebenza ekhishini nje, uya kuMaMkhize naye okufanele acele kumlungu wakhe, baphume baligadule izwe ngezinyawo besophe ukumkhipha uThabani emashini yakhe le emhlanyisayo. Ukhathazekile kakhulu uMaSithole ngoba ubona le ngane yakhe izoshona ngendlela efanayo nengane yakhe endala uSipho. Ukuthandana nobulili obufanayo kuyabahlukumeza abazali emoyeni. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Oqotsheni Uma ungake uzifake ezicathulweni zamalunga akwaSibisi, yilapho obuzwa kahle ubuhlungu ngokwehlela lo mndeni. Ukuthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe u-Ayanda kuwuhlukumeza wonke umndeni wakhe. UMandla ogcina esekhiphe izidumbu, abazali bakhe abakhathazeka kakhulu ngesenzo sakhe, bona futhi bashonelwe indodakazi yabo ebulawe isandla sikamfowabo. Kuyoke kube khona nje ukumxolela uMandla kubazali bakhe ngalesi senzo? Endabeni emfishane ethi: Impohlo Ukungaganwa kukaThemba kwenza abazali bakhe baphithane amakhanda. Nezindaba zokuthi uthandana nobulili obufanayo ziyabakhathaza abazali bakhe oMzimela noMaNtombela. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Ngeke Ukuhlukumezeka abazali bakaSabelo kubaqala kuseyindaba kaFalakhe yokufuna ukushada neNdiya. Uma ungumzali-ke uba nethemba lokuthi abantwana bakho ngeke bakuhlaze bonke. Kuyaye kube nethenjana lokuthi phakathi kwabo kukhona ozokwesula izinyembezi. Indaba emfushane iphela kuvuthondaba lapho besaqagulisana oNzuza noSabelo ngokuganwa kwakhe omunye umuntu wesilisa. Amathemba akhe ashabalala okwamazolo abona ilanga, ayibone impilo yakhe uNzuza iphela phambi kwamehlo akhe, isizwe sakhe ngokunjalo naso sishabalala. 5.6 Imisebenzi nemidlalo emiselwe ubulili obuthile 147 U-Oakley (1972:198) ubalula ngezinkinga ezidalwa ukwehluka kwemisebenzi ebekelwe ubulili obuthize, uthi: The asymmetrical structure of the family-father at work, mother at home- allows a connection to be made between the diverse activities as the feeding tiny babies, cleaning the houses, and the washing of dirty socks. Lapha uthi umthetho uthi owesifazane uhlala ekhaya athole bese ekhulisa abantwana, ahlanze indlu ngenkathi owesilisa esemsebenzini. Akubukeki futhi akuzwakali uma umfana enza imisebenzi efana nokupheka, ukuhlanza indlu, ukufunza ingane ukudla nokunye. Uthi kuke kube nesimo sokuthi ekhaya ayikho intombazane ezokwenza imisebenzi yamantombazane abazali bagcina sebephoqeleka ukuthi bayifundise ingane yomfana le misebenzi ukuze izobasiza. Endabeni emfishane ethi, “impohlo” kuyavela ukuthi uMzimela usegxeka uMaNtombela ngokuthi nguyena lo ohlale enzisa uThemba imisebenzi yamantombazane, okwenze wagcina ezibona ukuthi uyintombazane. Kanti akunjalo abantu abangomakhelwane laba asebebiza uThemba ngempohlo. Abanye bathi uthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe. Isizathu sokusho kanje yikho ukuthi bambona njalo ezenzela izinto engabe usezenzelwa inkosikazi. UNjilo (2014:127) uphawula ngemisebenzana yabafana namantombazane, achaza ukuthi Ihamba njalo nobulili ize ifike esikhathini lapho asebekhule khona abantwana sebekhetha nemisebenzi abazoyifundela. Esikhathini samanje kunemisebenzi efundelwa ezikhungweni eminingi engasakhethi bulili. Engizibuza khona ngiwumcwaningi ukuthi njengoba umsebenzi wokuhlenga iziguli wawudalwe kungowabesifazane nje, kungani sesinabasiza iziguli abangabesilisa?Lokhu kuyaye kwenze ihlaya uma sekuthiwa umhlengikazi umnumzane usibanibani. Kanjani ngoba u-kazi umele ubulili besifazane kodwa kuthiwe umnumzane? Ephawula ngemisebenzi emiselwe ukwenziwa abesilisa nabesifazane uBlumenfeld (1992:33) uthi: 148 “What comes to your mind when I say male hairdresser or female gym teacher?” Most people first response was gay or lesbian. Ephawula ngenhla uthi okwenzekayo kungumphumela wokucindezeleka kwalabo abanemizwa ehlukile ezithweni zangasese abazalwe nazo. Wenza isibonelo sale misebenzi:  Intombazane eyeluleka ibuye iqeqeshe abesilisa ejimini  Umcwali wezinwele wesilisa  Intombazane edlala kakhulu ibhola likanobhutshuzwayo Uphetha ngokuthi imisebenzi akube imisebenzi nje, kodwa ingahambisani nobulili obuthile. 5.7 Izinto zokudlala zabafana nezamantombazane Ngaphambi kokuphawula ngezindlela zokukhulisa umntwana womfana ezivame ukusetshenziswa abazali abaningi, uBailey (2003:18) uphawula ngezinkomba zobutabane ezibonakala umntwana esemncane athi: • Cross-dressing • Playing with dolls • Taking female roles in games such as playing house. • Relating better to girls rather than boys as peers. • Wishing to be girls. • Having below average interest in rough and tumble play and sports participation. UBailey uveza khona ngqo ukunganaki kwabazali bomntwana ngenkathi esemncane. Lezi zimpawu ezichazwa ngenhla eziveza ukufisa ukuba ubulili angebona, okungaba ukugqoka okokudlala, nemidlalo yobunye ubulili ziyizinkomba zokuthanda ubulili angebona umntwana. Abazali banalo iqhaza abalibambayo ekwakheni ubulili umntwana azokhula eyibona. Lapha kuvela kahle kuNjilo (2014:127) lapho akhuluma khona ngezinto akhule ezibona zenzeka, njengokuthi: Ingane uma ingeyentombazane ithengelwe onodoli bese kuthi ingane engumfana yona ithengelwe amathoyizi afana nezibhamu nezimoto nokunye. Kulokhu umcwaningi ubalula ukuthi uma umzali enokuqaphela ukwenza kwengane 149 yakhe angashesha ukubona ngenkathi umntwana wakhe ekhula ukuthi uthi eyintombazane kodwa athande imidlalo yabafana enjengebhola lezinyawo nokunye, kanti kokunye athi umntwana engumfana angazihlanganisi nabafana, kodwa adlale namantombazane ngonodoli nokunye. Libalulekile iphuzu elivezwa uSithole umngani kaMkhabela kuNtombela (2000:30) endabeni emfishane ethi, “Impohlo” lapho athi khona: Akufanele abazali baziqhelise kakhulu izingane kubo, lokho kuyabalimaza bona abazali nazo izingane ziyalimala. Kule ndaba emfushane uma bezixoxela nje oMaMnisi noMkhabela bayakusho ukuthi uBafana akakaze azihlanganise nabanye abafana. Bake bazikhathaza nje ngokuthola isizathu salokho? Cha, abakaze bambuze noBafana ukuthi uyoqonywa nini, njengoba sebebuza ukuthi umletha nini umakoti ozomgana bazombona. Phela uqonywa kuqala ngaphambi kokuba uganwe. UNjilo (2014:103) uyakubalula ukuthi lesi simo sokuthanda ubulili obufanayo akusona isifo, kodwa isimo umuntu adalwa enaso. Nomcwaningi uyakweseka lokhu ngoba ukuba isifo ngabe selazanywa mhlawumbe latholakala ikhambi lokuselapha. 5.8 Ukwehluka kwemibono phakathi kwabancane nabadala ngeminyaka Uyakuveza uNjilo (2014:4) ukuthi: Umthethosisekelo wezwe laseNingizimu Afrika awukuvumeli ukukhishwa inyumbazane kwabantu banoma yiluphi uhlobo, kungaba ubulili, okwebala, okwezinga le mpilo nokunye. Ukuvunwa umthethosisekelo kudale ukuthi abantu abasebasha bakhululeke ngemizwa yabo kanti asebekhulile bona bakubona kuwukulimala kwesiko lokugana nokuganwa. Abafana bakaNzuza baziphilela eNingizimu Afrika ekhululekile, enamalungelo okuthi umuntu azikhethele lokho okuhambisana nemizwa yakhe, angalwiswa ngempilo azikhethele yona. (Sibiya 2007:17) uSabelo ukwenza kucace kuyise ukuthi uyawazi amalungelo akhe, futhi akazimisele ukuguqula umqondo wakhe kulokho akholelwa kukho nayikhona. 150 Kanti u-Ayanda yena usebenzisa ubuqili ukuzuza lokho akufunayo. KuSibiya (2007:32) ukufika kukamfowabo uMandla ezocela izeluleko ngalokho naye akwaziyo ukuthi kuyinkinga emshadweni kaThabile noMandla, akathi vu, ngakho esikhundleni salokho umbheca ngodaka emehlweni umfowabo ngothando olungekho lukaThabile. Eminyakeni phakathi kukaMandla no-Ayanda nakuba umbhali wendaba emfushane engakuvezi ukuthi bangakanani, kodwa ukusho kwakhe ukuthi uMandla uyinkosana kaSibisi bese u-Ayanda eba nguthunjana kugqamisa igebe leminyaka yobudala phakathi kwalaba bantwana bakaSibisi. UMandla mdala ngokwanele ukuthi angeke azazi futhi aziqaphela lezi zinto ezenziwa abantwana abasebangeni lo-Ayanda. Nakuba kwamumangaza ukuthi u-Ayanda uyaphuza futhi uyabhema, kodwa akafunanga ukuzifaka kakhulu kulokho ngoba ekholelwa ekutheni usekhule ngokwanele ukuzithathela izinqumo ngempilo yakhe. Kanti nakuNtombela (2000:29) endabeni emfushane ethi, “Umhlaba Ushingile” uMkhabela udaza kangaka nje inkani ephikisa uBafana yingoba usho impilo eyaphilwa nguyena, akholelwa ukuthi yiyona mpilo okufanele iphilwe uBafana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi uBafana yena wazi ukuthi empilweni yakhe nguyena okufanele azithathele izinqumo ngayo futhi ayiphile ngendlela afisa ngayo. Kanti kuMbatha (2011:91) endabeni emfushane ethi “Amalungelo” uThabani akafune kutshelwa nje ngalokho okufanele nokungafanele ukuthi akwenze. Lokhu kucefezelwa ngunina uMaSithole ngobungozi bemashi, ngoba yena ubheke umphumela omuhle le mashi ozoba nayo ezimpilweni zabo. UBailey (2003:21) uthi: After all, children don’t get to do everything they want to do. Ephawula uBailey ngenhla uthi akuzona zonke izinto ezifunwa izingane abazivumelayo abazali njengokuthi izingane azikwazi ukuphuza ukulala ngezinsuku zesikole, bayakwazi ukuzinqabela ekudleni uswidi omningi, nakwezinye izinto ezingafaka abantwana babo 151 engozini. Pho kulolu hlobo lwempilo kungalani ukuthi izingane zinqatshelwe ukuphila le mpilo? Lo mbono kaBailey uletha enkulu inselelo kubazali mayelana nokukhethela abantwana impilo okufanele bayiphile. Lokhu akulula ngoba abanye imizwa yobutabane bayiveza sebekhulile, bengasekho ngaphansi kwesandla sabazali. Njengakuyo le mibhalo ecwaningiwe laba bantwana iningi labo seliyazisebenzela, izinqumo ngempilo seliyazithathela. 5.9 Umyalezo owethulwa ngezihloko zezindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe Ababhali bezindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe ngesihloko ngasinye bethula isifundo noma umlayezo othile. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Oqotsheni Umbhali usebenzise isisho esichaza ukubhadama umuntu esayenza leyo nto. Akujwayelekile- ke ukuthi kube yinto enhle okuthiwa ubanjwe oqotsheni uyenza. Kusuke kuyinto eyihlazo, ichilo uqobo lwalo. Lesi sihloko sethula umqondo wokuthi okuyihlazo obekufihliwe sekuvele obala. Nathi sithi singafunda isihloko sibe nakho ukulindela isimo esifana nesocansi esenzeka kwababili abaficwa bengalindele. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Amalungelo Umbhali wale ndaba emfishane uyakuveza endabeni yakhe ukuthi sekunamalungelo abo bonke abantu alwisana nokucwaswa kwabo. Nakhona endabeni umlingiswa onguThabani ophila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo uya emashini elwelwa amalungelo abo. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Umhlaba Ushingile Ukuchaza igama elithi ishinga, kubhekwe isichazamazwi ngokukaDent (1969:481) lapho athi: Ishinga umuntu osheshe alwe, onenhliziyo esheshayo ukuhluthuka. Ekusebenzeni kwalesi senzo nebizo umhlaba kuyayiguqula impendulo yaso, kube ukuthi umhlaba usukwesinye isimo, kuphenduke into enhle yaba into engeyinhle, noma 152 engamukelekile. Lapha ngichaza ukuthi ababona lolu guquko lomhlaba abaluthokozeli nakancane. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Impohlo Kuyamangaza futhi kuyinselelo enhle kabi ukuthi umbhali wale ndaba emfushane akakaze alisebenzise leli gama endabeni yakhe emfushane kusuka ekuqaleni ize iyophela. Lokhu kuveza ukuthi impilo kaThemba yokungaganwa yabe isimenza abizwe ngempohlo. Isihloko siveza izimvo zakhe umbhali kanye nezomphakathi ukuthi ubumpohlo yinto enganambitheki emndenini kanjalo nasemphakathini, kuba kukhulu-ke uma ubumpohlo bungasebodwa sebunokuthanda ubulili obufanayo. Endabeni emfishane ethi: Ngeke Abazali bakaSabelo laba abashaya phansi ngonyawo abathi ngeke ashade noLindelani, kanti naye uthi ngeke angashadi nomuntu othandwa imizwa yakhe. Lesi sihloko siveza ukuqophisana kwalabo abakholelwa ezintweni ezingafani. 5.10 Okufanayo nokwahlukile ezenzweni nasemicabangweni yabalingiswa bezindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningiwe ngendikimba yobutabane Abazali babantwana abathandana nobulili obufanayo, bawotha ubomvu uma iqhina liphuma embizeni ukuthi izingane zabo ziyizitabane. Lokhu sikuthola kuzo zonke izindaba ezimfishane ezicwaningwayo. Ukudideka kwemiqondo, ukufisa ngisho ukuzibulala ngezabo izandla lezi zingane abathi zigila imikhuba kanye nokufa olwembiza kubazali yikona okufanayo ezenzweni nasemicabangweni yabo. Sithola uMkhabela noMaMnisi besangene ngenxa yemigilingwane abayenzelwe uBafana yokufika noLindelani ezomethula njengomuntu azoshada naye. Okufanayo kwenzeka kuMaSithole emva kokufunda uqwembe oluphethwe uThabani emashini yokulwela AMALUNGELO EZITABANE. Okuphawulekayo ukuthi bonke laba bazali uma bezwa isimo sempilo ephilwa izingane zabo, bayakhungathenga, baphuka izinhliziyo, bayazixosha bangemukeli. 153 Abalingiswa abacwaningiwe lapha kulo msebenzi bancane bonke ngeminyaka, asikho isitabane esidala okubhalwe ngaso. Lokhu kunika inselelo kubantu ngoba ababhali abafana noHerdt (1989:121) ocwaningweni lukaScheider uthi: I worry about being alone ten years down the road. I see a lot of young lesbians out there. What happens when you get old? What happens to old lesbians? Lapha ukhala ngemicabango abathandana nobulili obufanayo ababa nayo uma becabanga ngempilo yabo uma sebedlulile eminyakeni engama-50. Phela abakaze balibona ikhehla noma isalukazi esinomasihlekisane waso onobulili obufanayo, kube umuntu aqala ukuthandana naye bebancane baze baba badala. Okwenza kube nalokhu kwesaba ukuthi uma beqhathanisa impilo yabo neyabantu abathandana nobulili obuhlukile bona bayathandana baze baguge noma bahlukaniswe ukufa. Bazibuza umbuzo wokuthi izitabane ziyakwazi ukuba nobudlelwano isikhathi eside? Ngakho abalingiswa okukhulunywe ngabo kulolu cwaningo bancane ngeminyaka. Akuveli emibhalweni ecwaningiwe becabanga ukuthi bayobe beyizalukazi namakhehla anjani. Abafiki kulokhu okushiwo uHerdt emicabangweni yabo. Kudela owaziyo ukuthi kungani bona bengakucabangi lokhu? 5.11 Izimpawu zobufana kumfana Abazali abaningi abajwayele ukuzinaka izimpawu zobutabane umntwana esemncane kodwa bavele bagcizelele okuthile kumntwana wabo womfana njengoba kukholakala ukuthi umfana ukuze akhule abe yindoda kufanele adlule ezimweni ezithile ezimlolongayo ekubeni indoda eqinile njengalezi: i) Umfana akakhali Kukholelwa ekutheni ngisho umfana omncane angawa kabuhlungu alimale, ngenkathi ekhala empongoloza enziwa ubuhlungu kuvele kuthiwe “usungaze umpongoloze kangaka, thula bo! Umfana akakhali”. Lokhu kuchaza ukuthi kwakhona ukulolongelwa ubudoda lobo, akusiyona into elula ngoba kufanele wenze sengathi awuzwa buhlungu ukhalele ngaphakathi uma ungumfana. 154 ii) Ukuba nesibindi Ziningi izinto ezenziwa abesilisa ezidinga isibindi, kuzo singabala ukuhlaba imbuzi noma inkomo uyibulale, ukuhamba ebusuku, ukubulala inyoka nokunye. Emibhalweni ecwaningiwe kuyavela ukuthi kuthiwa awusiyona indoda uma ukhombisa ukwesaba, kanti lokho kusuka ngaphakathi uma unokwesaba musa ukuphoqwa wenziswe into ongesiyona. Lokhu kugqamisa izifiso zomphakathi ozilindele kulobo bulili obukhulayo, okungenzeka zishayisane nemizwa yomntwana. iii) Imidlalo yabafana Kuyiqiniso elingephikwe ukuthi imidlalo yabafana imvivinya ukuthi unamandla kangakanani. Uke ubathole begingqana phansi bacindezelane kabuhlungu phansi kodwa kuthiwe kuyadlalwa. Njengoba beginqana kabuhlungu nje abafana, amantombazanyana azihlalela ngokuthula ephethe izinto zokwenza itiye kanye nonodoli. Omunye umntwana womfana onemizwa yentombazane angafisa ukuya kuwo ayohlala adlale nawo kepha esabe ukuthi uzothethiswa kuthiwe ufunani emidlalweni yamantombazane. Imibhalo ecwaningiwe iyakuveza ukuthi umntwana onemizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe uyacindezeleka, angakwazi ukwenza lokhu akufisayo noma akuzwayo. iv) Izingubo zokugqoka zabafana Kuqala emibaleni yezingubo zabantwana besanda kuzalwa. Awutshelwa ukuthi usana lungolwesilisa noma lungolwesifazane kodwa ubona ngemibala yezingubo olugoqwe noma olugqokiswe yona. Kuvamile ukuthi uma kuyintombazane igqokiswe umbala ophinki, kuthi umfana agqokiswe oluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka. Kuvelile kubabhali abaningi ocwaningweni ukuthi abazali bayalwisana nabantwana babo abaveza ukuthi banemizwa yobutabane. Lokhu siyakubona kuNgidi enovelini ecwaningiwe lapho indodana yakhe enguzinyobulala imtshela ukuthi iyisitabane, uyayikhipha emafeni akhe, ayixoshe emzini wakhe. Kuliqiniso ukuthi abazali ikakhulukazi abesilisa kunzima ukuthi bamukele uma abafana babo bephumela obala ukuthi bathandana nobulili obufanayo. 5.12 Ubutabane sebungenye yezinhlobo zemisebenzi (Ubutabane sebuphenduke ibhizinisi) 155 Ukudayiselana kwabesilisa ngocansi benziwa ebhodweni lezinja (ngemuva) sekudale amathuba omsebenzi kulabo abanezindawo zokuzithokozisa ngalolu hlobo ocansini. Embhalweni kaMngadi ocwaningiwe kuyavela abafana abahlala emgwaqeni bedayisela abanye besilisa ucansi ukuze bathole imali. Lapha akusiso isizathu semizwa kepha indlela abazama ngayo impilo. Abacwaningi abacashunwe ezahlukweni ezingenhla bechaza ngempilo yobutabane bathi abesilisa nabesifazane babaluleke ngokufana. Pho kungani nokudingana kwabo kwezocansi kungafani? Bathi umuntu onguncukumbili uyakufakazela lokhu njengoba ekwazi ukwaneliswa ngowesilisa kwezocansi abuye aneliswe owesifazane ngokulinganayo. Encwadini ecwaningiwe kaMngadi, ethi “Bayeza Abanqobi” uthi kunamadoda amabili afike la emgwaqeni ahalela ucansi abe eseyengela abafana ababili ocansini ebethembise ukubakhokhela kanti azozenelisa maqede abafake unyawo. UDragon ubuya esibhedlela emva kokugwazana noNgwazi esesulekile ngoba kade ephoqwa ngokugeza, phela uma elapha emgwaqeni akagezi. UMadimoni akumphathi kahle lokhu uze akhale ngokuthi abesilisa sebezombanga ngoba usemuhle, yena aswele amakhasimende azothenga kuyena. Ngakho laba bafana abahlala emgwaqeni bakwenza njengebhizinisi ukudayisa ucansi nakuba bengenayo indawo esemthethweni okudayiselwa kuyo futhi abanaye umphathi wabo obaphethe. Zikhona izindawo emadolobheni ezinezindawo zokuthenga ucansi, lapho abesilisa abathenga khona ucansi kwabanye besilisa. 5.13 Ulwazi ngempilo ephilwa abathandana nobulili obufanayo Abashicileli ephephandabeni iLanga lomhla lulu-01 kuNhlaba lithi ophenyweni olwenziwe kutholakele ukuthi abaphila le mpilo bayakwazi ukuzijabulisa kwezocansi njengabo abathandana nobulili obuhlukile ngezindlela eziningi. Ophenyweni olwenziwe yileli phephandaba kutholakale ukuthi abesilisa abathandana bodwa bamunyunga isitikiswidi, beshintshana bagcine benelisene ngaphandle kokuba khona komuntu wesifazane, kanti abesifazane bodwa bayawotawotana babuye basebenzise imishinyana edlikiza owesifazane ebizwa ngesiLungu kuthiwe ivibrator. 156 Kulo leli phephandaba kubuye kukhulunywe nangokulalana kwabesilisa bodwa abenzana ebhodweni lezinja (ngemuva) ukwenelisana kwezocansi. Kanti ababhali abaningi abacashunwe ezahlukweni ezidlule bachaza ngezindawo okwenziwa kuzo ucansi, bathi kunendlela endala yokwenza ucansi, lapha basho ukulala kowesilisa nowesifazane, bachaza ukuthi yile ejwayelekile ngoba bethi, “endala”. Baqhuba bathi lokho akusho ukuthi ezinye izindlela zokwenza ucansi ngeke zisenziwa. 5.14 Izindlela zokwakha imindeni yabo laba abathandana nobulili obufanayo Ephephandabeni iLanga lomhla lulu-01 kuNhlaba, esihlokweni esithi, “Athembisana indumezulu amadoda azoshadana” kuyavela ukuthi phakathi kwabo bobabili kukhona oba owesifazane uma kuganane amadoda amabili. Kuleli phephandaba uSimphiwe Memela uyalobola kwaRamasele ethatha uPrince njengenkosikazi yakhe. Lapha kuvela ukuthi uPrince ubiza uSimphiwe ngomyeni wakhe, kanti uSimphiwe yena umbiza ngomkakhe. Kudaluliwe ukuthi uPrince uyapheka, enze yonke imisebenzi eyenziwa amakhosikazi eyenzela abakhwenyana bawo. Kubhaliwe nokuthi laba bobabili bahlele ukuthatha ingane yesihlobo sakwaMemela bayikhulise njengeyabo. Ngakho-kenoma bengakwazi ukuthola izingane zabo zegazi, bayakwazi ukuthatha izingane ezingenabazali bazikhulise. 5.15 Izimfundiso emphakathini ezizuzwe ngalolu cwaningo i) Okuhle ngale mpilo okuzuzwe ucwaningo  Kuncipha izintandane ngoba abathandana nobulili obufanayo bathatha izintandane bazikhulise njengezingane zabo.  Abesifazane asebecikwe impatho engeyinhle yabesilisa ababazalisa izingane babashiye, bayakwazi ukuthola uthando futhi kwabanye abesifazane ngokuthandana nobulili obufana nobabo. ii) Okungekuhle ngale mpilo okuzuzwe ucwaningo  Kuxabana imindeni kungaphinde kungenelwane. 157  Abazali baphelelwa uthando lwezingane zabo, kube nomonakalo omkhulu ozalweni.  Abangani abakade bekhonzene omunye wabo engakaphumeli obala, bayaxabana.  Abantwana abatholwa yilabo abashadile, (isibongo asandi, kuzalwe izizukulwane ezilandelayo) 5.16 Okuzuzwe ucwaningo ngezigigaba ezidaleka ekuthandaneni kobulili obufanayo: Imibhalo ecwaningiwe iveza ngokusobala ukuthi ubulili bomntwana bugqama kahle ngesikhathi ethomba. Akukhathalekile ukuthi ungubuphi ubulili, uma enayo emqondweni imizwa yobutabane akulula ukuyigudluza. Lesi simo somqondo asisuki engqondweni agcineumuntu eseyenza le nto ngoba kusuke kuyisona sodwa isixazululo anaso. Nakhu okuvamile okwenzekayo emva kokuthomba kwalabo abanemizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobabo: i) Uqhekeko emndenini Enovelini ecwaningwayo kaSibiya ethi, “Bengithi Lizokuna” uNgidi wethembisa uMhlengi ukumsakaza ngenhlamvu, ethi akaphume aphele emzini wakhe ngemuva kokuthi emazise ukuthi u gay. Emva kwalokho umkhipha kuwo wonke amafa akhe, asho nokuthi usezimisele ukuqala kabusha impilo yakhe ngoba akasenandodana. UNgidi uthandana noNomalanga azimisele ukumshada ukuze kuvaleke isikhala sikaMhlengi. Kanti endabeni emfushane ethi, “Umhlaba Ushingile” uMkhabela usho ukumbulala nya uBafana uma eletha uLindelani athi nguyena ‘malokazana’ wakhe. UMkhabela ufisa nokumthunga ngomkhonto ezibilini. Kulo mndeni noma ungaxabene kodwa angeke kusafana nasekuqaleni, ngoba uBafana ugcina eshadile noLindelani. Kunenselelo enkulu ebheke kubazali ngobutabane. Ngisho lokhu ngoba kwabona ababhali abazama ukuhlukanisa inhloko nesixhanti ngodaba lokuthandana nobulili obufanayo bayishaya emuva bayishaye phambili, bese beshiya abafundi nemibuzo eminingi engaxazululekile ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. ii) Ukugula nezifo ezidalwa ubuhlungu benhliziyo Endabeni emfushane ethi “Amalungelo”, uMaSithole uyaquleka uma ebona uThabani ehamba phambili emashini yamalungelo ezitabane. Lokhu kuveza ngokusobala ubungozi 158 bokuzwa leli zindaba kubazali balabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo. Yikho lokhu okwenza abaningi abayizitabane ukuthi basabe ukuphumela obala. Kanti kule ndaba emfushane ethi, “Impohlo” uMaNtombela obeguliswa ukuthi uThemba uthandana nobulili obufanayo uyavuka aphile, kuphele ukugula nokuquleka lokhu obesekumhlasele uma uThemba efika noNosipho azoshada naye. Kuvela ulaka lukaMkhabela nokuphuka kwenhliziyo kaMaMnisi uma efika noLindelani uBafana amethule njengengoduso yakhe. Bagcina beshadile laba bobabili kodwa abazali abeneme ngomshado wabo. Lokhu okwenzeke kubazali kule mibhalo engenhla kuveza ingcindezi enkulu kubazali nezifiso zabo ngabantwana babo ezishabalala emehlweni okwamazolo ebona ilanga. iii) Ukufa Siyafunda ukuthi kulolu hlobo lwempilo izidumbu ziyaphuma sekubulalana amalunga omndeni. Endabeni emfushane ethi, “Oqotsheni” izidumbu ziyaphuma zabantu ababulawela ukuthandana nobulili obufanayo. Nabazali kweminye imibhalo bayafunga bayagomela ukuthi uma abantwana babo abathi bayizitabane bengawushintshi umqondo kulokhu, bazobafaka inhlamvu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi yimpilo engakemukeleki kahle le emindenini eminingi, nasemiphakathini ngokunjalo. iv) Abazali abalilahli ithemba ngabantwana babo Enovelini kaSibiya uNgidi uma sekufike uNontobeko ohamba ethungatha uMhlengi liyabuya ithemba lokuthi usewayiyeka le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo ayemtshele ukuthi useyayiphila. Endabeni emfushane ethi, “Impohlo” uMaNtombela noMzimela sebezwile ngezinsolo zomphakathi ngoThemba baze babona nesithombe sowesilisa esiqathake kuThemba. Isekhona inhlansi yethemba lokuthi kungenzeka kungabi yikho lokhu okushiwoyo. Uthando lomzali lunjalo alulahlisi ithemba ngomntwana wakho. 159 Le mibhalo yethula uhlobo lwabazali olujwayelekile. Abazali abazideli izingane zabo, ngisho zingabaphoxa kangakanani bahlala benalo ithemba lokuthi zingawushintsha umqondo ngempilo eziyiphilayo. Njengoba kwenzeka ebantwaneni abangaziphethe kahle ngokuqhubeka kwesikhathi baqala kabusha empilweni yabo, baphile impilo eyamukelekile. Pho kungani abayizitabane bengeke bashintsha? v) Ikusasa labantwana abasebancane lidicileleka phansi Uma izingane ezisencane ngeminyaka zizimbandakanya ezindabeni zocansi nobulili obufana nobazo izingqondo zazo ziyathikamezeka, zingakwazi ukuzithathela izinqumo eziphusile. Ngisho sezindala lezi zingane azikhululeki uma sezingena ebudlelwaneni bezothando nokwenza ucansi ngenxa yokudungeka kwemiqondo okwadalwa izimo ezabhekana nazo zisencane. UMngadi enovelini ecwaningiwe ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi” uthi kunamadoda amabili athenga ucansi ebafaneni abahlala emgwaqweni oDragon noDermon maqede anqabe ukubakhokhela. UDragon ubuya esibhedlela emva kokugwazana noNgwazi esesulekile ngoba kade ephoqwa ngokugeza. UMadimoni akumphathi kahle lokhu uze athi umngani wakhe uDragon abesilisa sebezombanga ngoba usemuhle, yena aswele abazothenga kuyena. Laba bantwana abahlala emgwaqeni abethulwa uMngadi kule noveli bazwakala bengenalo ikusasa impilo yapho iphelele khona emigwaqweni yeTheku la? Imibuzo umcwaningi azibuza yona ethi:  Lesi simo sokuhlukumezeka nokuhlukumezana kwezintandane ezigcwele imigwaqo kungancishiswa kanjani?  Siyini isizathu sokuhamba kwabantwana emakhaya bakhethe ukuyohlupheka emigwaqeni?  Buqedwe yini ubuntu kubantu abadala abahlukumeza abantwana ngocansi?  Yini edala ukuthi impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo ingamukeleki emiphakathini ikakhulukazi eyamaZulu? 160  Engabe laba bafana abanukubezana ngocansi emgwaqweni abangezona izitabane bayakwazi yini ukubuyela baphile impilo ejwayelekile? Le mibuzo ayiphendulekile kulolu cwaningo ngesizathu sokuthi ucwaningo lwemibhalo. Akusilona ucwaningo oluhlwaya izimvo ngokuxoxisana nabantu. 5.17 Ulwazi oluzuzwe ocwaningweni i) Okuzuzwe ucwaningo ngemicabango yabantu ngokweminyaka yabo yobudala nangokobulili babo ngobutabane Abantu abayi nganxanye bengemanzi ngakho nakulo udaba lobutabane angeke kwenzeke ukuthi bonke abantu babone ngaso linye. Okuhle ngomthethosisekelo waseNingizimu Afrika uvikela wonke umuntu mayelana nelungelo noma ngovo lwakhe. Umcwaningi uthole ukuthi nakuyo imibhalo ecwaningwayo kuyavela ukwehluka kwemibono ngendikimba yobutabane. ii) Imibono yabesifazane asebebadala ngobutabane Abesifazane asebebadala ikakhulukazi omama babafana abathandana nobulili obufanayo bayabeseka kakhulu abantwana babo abaphila le mpilo. Emibhalweni ecwaningwayo yibona ababhula umlilo ngenkathi obaba balaba bantwana befuna ukubasobozela ngenxa yokuzenza abesifazane bebe bazalwa bengabafana. Abesifazane babuye badume nangakho ukuvuna amadodana abo, ngakho ukuthi ngokwemvelo umntwana usondelana kakhulu nonina bese kuthi owentombazane asondelane kakhulu noyise kunawo umthelela. iii) Okungamaqiniso ngokuthandana kobulili obufanayo Umcwaningi uzuze lokhu okungamaqiniso ngezitabane ocwaningweni alwenzile:  Akubona bonke abathanda ubulili obufana nobabo abahlukumeza izingane zabafana ngocansi.  Oncukumbili abanye bayasithatha isinqumo sokuthi yibuphi ubulili abazothandana nabo, kanti abanye bathandana nabo bobubili ubulili. 161  Akubona bonke ubudlelwano bobulili obufanayo obungahlali isikhathi eside, abanye baze bahlukaniswe ukufa, njengayo impilo ejwayelekile ephilwa iningi.  Abazali nabangani bayakwazi ukugqugquzela othanda ubulili obufana nobakhe ukuba athandane nobulili obuhlukile, kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi isishintshile imizwa yakhe.  Kunenkolelo yokuthi abathandana nobulili obufanayo ubudlelwano babo abuhlali isikhathi eside. Ukweseka lokhu umshado wesitabane uCameroon Modisane noThoba Sithole ababophe ifindo labo lomshado ngonyaka wezi-2013 benze indumezulu yomshado, kodwa iphephandaba iSunday World yomhla lulunye kuNdasa 2015 labika ukuthi baphezu kwamalungiselelo okwahlukana. Lawa maphuzu ashiwo ngenhla ayiqiniso elingephikiswe okufanele sakhele phezu kwalo singabantu siphila. Siyeke ukuzonda into sibe singayazi, asihlwaye ulwazi ngayo yikhona sizoyiqonda kangcono. Ngokwesintu sethu thina maZulu izindaba zocansi noma lona ucansi uqobo akusiyo into yasesidlangalaleni kodwa yinto yasesithe. Lapha sikhuluma ngazo izimpande zesizwe lezi esibambelela kuzo ukuze sisimame. Lapha sibalula impilo, inkululeko nenjabulo yomuntu ngayedwana ukuthi iyacindezeleka uma sekuya ngasezintweni eziyizingxabo zesizwe. iv) Okutholakele njengolwazi ngobutabane  Uma uphila impilo yobutabane udinga ukuya ezindaweni zabo lapho behlangana khona, kanti empilweni eqondile ukuxhumana nabantu abaphila impilo efana neyakho ubathola yonke indawo.  Uthando lwabantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo aluhlali isikhathi eside.  Kule mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo indoda iyalwenza ucansi nenye indoda noma owesifazane uyalwenza ucansi nomunye wesifazane kodwa bengathandani.  Kuyinjwayelo kule mpilo yobutabane ukwenza ucansi nomuntu oqalayo ukumbona futhi ongasophinde umbone. Asebekhulile abayizitabane baba izibonelo ezitabaneni ezisencane ngoba yibona abasiza ekutheni zikwazi: • Ukubhekana nokucwaswa. 162 • Ukunciphiswa imizwa yesazelo uma uthandana nobulili obufanayo. • Ukuze uthole ulwazi ngeqhaza lezitabane emphakathini eziwakhele. • Indlela izitabane okumele ziziphathe ngayo. Kulolu cwaningo kuhlomula wonke umuntu. Kukhona izikhali zokucijisa abaphila impilo yobutabane kanye nokufundisa nabaphila impilo ejwayelekile ngempilo yezitabane. v) Okudala ukuthi abantu abaningi bangabuthandisisi ubutabane Siyabona emibhalweni ecwaningiwe ukuthi abesilisa asebengobaba bamadodana nawo asekhulile asesebangeni lokuganwa indaba yokuthi angeke abe khona owesifazane ozozala abantwana ezaliswa indodana, bese kwanda umndeni kuvele nezizukulwane, yiyona ebabinda kakhulu laba bazali. Lolu cwaningo luyakucacisa ukuthi akubona bonke abesilisa abaphila impilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo abazenza abesifazane, kulobu budlelwano abanye besilisa bafuna ukuhlala bengaphezu kwabanye besilisa okungukuthi baziphathisa okwabesilisa kodwa bathandana nabanye besilisa. Okusho ukuthi bengamadoda bobabili kukhona oyindoda, le enye indoda iyisifazane. Ngifisa ukubona uma kunemicimbi yesintu, abesifazane besebenza emabhodweni phandle, nomakoti abaganane bewubulili obubodwa bepheka njengabesifazane. Lokhu okushiwo ngenhla akuzixazululi izinkinga zabazali babantwana abanje njengoba kunzima kubazali ukwamukela ukuthi umfana wakho uthandana nabanye abafana, ngisho ezenza owesilisa kulobo budlelwano akwenzi mehluko ngoba akathandani nowesifazane kodwa uthandana nomunye wesilisa. vi) Ukungabatholi abantwana babo kwabaganene abayizitabane Okunye okuzuzwe yilolu cwaningo ukuthi akubona bonke abashadile owesilisa nowesifazane abathola ukubusiseka ngabantwana. Pho kungani uma sekuganana abanobulili obufanayo kuba nenkinga? Okuphawulekayo lapha ukuthi mhlawumbe kwezinye izizwe kusheshe kwamukeleke uma umalokazana engabatholi abantwana. KwesamaZulu isizwe akusheshe kwamukelwe kodwa uyageqwa, enzelwe yonke imicikilisho okukholakala ukuthi ingasiza 163 ukuze amumathe. Uma kwehluleka lapho, kungaxoxiswana naye umnumzane agcine eseganwa ngomunye unkosikazi ukuze abantwana bagcine betholakele. Okujwayele ukunganakwa uma kunesimo esinje ukuthi kwayena owesilisa angaba ongaphiwe inzalo Lapha ekugananeni kobulili obufanayo iqiniso limile nje elingukuthi umntwana wabo angeke bakwazi ukuba naye. Lokho yikhona-ke okugulisa kakhulu abadala uma kuganana ubulili obufanayo. Isifiso esikhulu sabazali ukuba nabazukulu. Abazali banesifiso sokuthi abantwana babo baphile impilo nabo abayiphila. Isibonelo ngabazali abakholwa enkolweni yobuKristu ukuthi bafisa nabantwana babo babe ngamakholwa, kanjalo nabazali abakholelwa emadlozini bazifundisa leyo nkolo izingane zabo. Nabo-ke abaphila impilo ejwayelekile bafisa abantwana baphile impilo yokuthandana kowesilisa nowesifazane. vii) Inkolelo/ inqubo ehambisana nokugana nokuganwa Esizweni samaZulu ngosuku lomgcagco umalokazana uthelwa ngenyongo okuyindlela yokumethula kwabaphansi. Uma kuganana ubulili obufanayo kwethulwa owesilisa ozogana owesilisa? Nalokhu abadala bakubona kuyihlazo elingabaqhatha nabaphansi. Kuyavela nasemibhalweni ecwaningiwe ukuthi abangayithandi le mpilo yobutabane bathi owesilisa oyiphilayo akanasithunzi. Esizweni samaZulu ngingasho ukuthi lokhu ekushoyo le mibhalo kuyiqiniso. Uma usumdala uyindoda engaganiwe awushaywa mkhuba uthathiswa okwengane. Kunenkolelo yokuthi abathandana nobulili obufanayo bayabashintshashintsha kakhulu abantu abenza nabo ucansi ukudlula abathandana nobulili obungafani. Ocwaningweni lokuxoxisana nalabo abaphila le mpilo yobutabane olwenziwe ababhabli bemibhalo ecashunwe kulolu cwaningo kuyafakazeleka lokhu ngoba bathi sebenabantu asebeke balala nabo abangaphezu kwamakhulu amabili. Le mibhalo enje ikwenza umilwe uhlevane ngoba yinto engahambisani nosikompilo lwethu le. Nesoka elalibizwa ngelamanyala emandulo angikholwa ukuthi lifa selifikile emakhulwini amabili abalingani bezocansi. 164 Umphakathi osakholelwa emasikweni awuhambisani nokuthandana kobulili obufanayo. Ophila le mpilo kumdalela amazinyo abushelelezi emphakathini awakhele. Abanye abathandi nokuthi lowo ophila le mpilo azisondelanise nezingane zabo ngoba kubonakala sengathi uzohlwayela imbewu embi kwabanye abantwana. Njengoba abaphila le mpilo benakho ukungahlonipheki kulabo abangahambisani nobutabane, abadala banakho ukuthi ngisho emizini yabo uma bezele umntwana oyisitabane igcina seyiphelelwe isithunzi. Yingakho enovelini ecwaningwayo uNgidi engazange ayithi vu kumuntu wangaphandle ngaphandle kwesithandwa sakhe uNomalanga indaba yokuthi uMhlengi wamtshela ukuthi u ‘gay’. 5.18 Izinto ezibe nomthelela ekwandeni kwabaphila impilo yobutabane esikhathini samanje ngokwemibono yomcwaningi Nokuguquka kwesikhathi nakho kuyabalimaza kakhulu abadala ngoba basabambelele kokwakwenzeka ngezikhathi zabo. UNgidi, uMkhabela, abazali bakaNkosana, uNzuza, uMandla umfowabo ka-Ayanda, uMaSithole, uMzimela kanye noMaNtombela bonke laba balingiswa bakhulile ngeminyaka, impilo bayibuka ngeso elidala kanti isiyethekelwa kukotshelwe kwezinye izinhlanga, ibuswe yilezi zinto zesimanjemanje. i) Imithombo yezindaba Zonke lezi zinto ezingahambisani nosikompilo zivezwa mihla namalanga emisakazweni, komabonakude, emaphephandabeni kanye nasemaphephabhukwini. Lezi izikhungo lapho abantu abasha abacobelela khona ulwazi ngempilo, izinto ezibazungezile kanye nezindaba zomhlaba wonke jikelele. Ukwenza isibonelo nje, ngingabalula ukuthi isiko lithi akudlalwa ngokudla, okungukuthi awuvumelekile ukuthatha iqatha lenyama ulokhu uliphosa phezulu ulinqaka njengengendo yokudlala amagenda, kodwa kunentokazi yaphesheya kwezilwandle engapheli komabonakude, emaphephandabeni, emaphephabhukwini nasemisakazweni ogama layo uLady Gaga egqoka ingubo eyakhiwe ngenyama ebomvu. Lokhu kuthini kubantu abalambile? Njengoba bengenakho okokusa ngaphansi kwempumulo nje kukhona odlala ngakho ukudla? Kwenzeka okufanayo nakuyo le mpilo yobutabane. Kumabonakude kunomdlalo I Generations enabo abadlali ababili besilisa abathandanayo. 165 Kulo mdlalo oyedwa wabo ukhulelisa intombazane, kodwa uncamela ukuyishiya leyo ntombazane aqhubeke nokuthandana nowesilisa. Lokho kukodwa nje kuyayikhuthaza le mpilo kubantu abasha futhi kwakha isithombe sokuthi uma owesilisa kufanele akhethe, uncamela owesilisa kunowesifazane. Angisho ukuthi kufanele akhethe owesifazane kodwa kungani kuphasiswa lokhu okungajwayelekile? Abantwana bayathanda ukuzifanisa nabadlali bakamabonakude bakhohlwe ukuthi empilweni kusuke kudlalwa. Ngaleyo ndlela umkhuba uyabhebhetheka noma ngabe yimuphi, kungaba muhle noma mubi ngoba izingane zikopela kuyo le mithombo yezindaba. Abemithombo yezindaba bayakulibala ukuthi izimvo zabo zinagalelo lini ekwakheni nasekubhidlizeni. Uthi kunezindaba ezinohlonze okuthi zingavela kumabonakude zakhe omkhulu umonakalo, noma zivuse insika, ngakho abezindaba badinga ukuqaphela. ii) Osaziwayo nemfashini Uma kuke kwaphumela obala umuntu ongusaziwayo wakhipha iqhina embizeni ngobulili bakhe, uma nje enemali intsha iyaheheka kuthi nalowo ongenayo imizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobakhe useyolingisa lowo saziwayo. Abakuthatha njengemfashini ubutabane banawo lowo mqondo wokuthi ubutabane bunemali. Isibonelo umdansi odumile eNingizimu Afrika uSomizi Mhlongo. Ephawula ephephabhukwini iDrum yamhla zi-3 kuNhlolanja lapho okuvela khona ukuthi waba kulabo ababa ngabokuqala abamnyama ukuphumela obala ngokuthi baphila impilo yobutabane. Uqhubeka aphawule nangezinsolo zokuthi uyagula njengoba kuke kwaba nesikhathi lapho akade engangabasemehlweni khona. Okwesifo sengculazi obesekudume ezikhungweni zokuxhumana ukuthi unaso, uphawula athi kunani pho, uma enaso ngoba ikhona imishanguzo, uzodla yona. Ekhuluma kanje uSomizi kuvela ukuthi ungumuntu onesibindi nokuphokophela kunoma ngabe yini akholelwa kuyo. Ephawula ngokuqina nokuzethemba anakho, uthi wenziwa ukwesekwa unina uMary. Esike kwelijikayo naye uMary ngendodana yakhe uthi uyayithokozela impilo ephilwa umntwana wakhe, uyilesi sitabane esijabule, athi uma 166 esebhuqa, uSomizi eyisitabane enjalo baningi abaphila impilo eqondile abashiya kude le ngempilo. Uzuze izinto abangakaze futhi abangasoze bazizuza. Uthi uMary kusamkhathaza kakhulu ukuthi abantu basakhuluma ngobutabane bukaSomizi. Uthi indaba endala kabi leyo, yilokhu aba nje selokhu azalwa. Lokhu akushoyo uMary ngokukhula kukaSomizi kuyashayisana neqiniso lokuthi watholisa uPalesa Mocuminyane ingane. Iyiphi le mpilo ayiqinisekisayo uMary ukuthi uSomizi wazalwa eyiyo uma ethi wazalwa enje? Kuyo inthanethi ku www.lifestyletabloids.wordpress.com eyashicilelwa mhla zingama-27 kuLwezi 2013 kwacashunwa amazwi kaMengameli waseZimbabwe ongayifihli inzondo yakhe yale mpilo, lapho athi khona, abaphila le mpilo abahlukene nezingulube, izimbuzi nezinyoni kuye. Yena uzobanquma amakhanda abenza le mikhuba. Ekhankasela ukhetho lwakhe lolu agcine edle umhlanganiso kulo yena uMugabe wakusho kwagcwala umlomo ukuthi abathandana nobulili obufanayo bayizinto zokubhadla ejele, ngoba vele nezulu soze balibone bayosha esihogweni. Khona manjalo kushicilelwe udaba lokuthi indodana yakhe uMugabe ezinze eMelika uChipape iphumele obala ngokuthanda ubulili obufana nobayo, ikhuluma ohlelweni lwasekuseni emsakazweni wakhona, ithi abantu baseZimbabwe basahlalelwe umsebenzi onzima wokulwa nokucwaswa nokuhlukumezeka kwabathandana nobulili obufana nobabo. UChipape uchaza athi njengabo bonke abanemizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobabo, naye wangena ogibeni lokuganwa aze athole abantwana ukuze afihle imizwa yakhe yobutabane ikakhulukazi wayefihlela uyise uMugabe ngoba emazi ukuthi unenzondo engakanani yabantu abaphila le mpilo. Eqhuba uChipape ubuza ukuthi ngabe ukulalana kwamadoda amabili noma abesifazane ababili kubathikameza kanjani abanye abantu, ngoba lokho kuqondene nalabo abakwenzayo kuphela? Ubuza ukuthi ngabe ukubahlukumeza ngokubafaka ozankosi kuzosiza ngani? 167 Ukuhlukana nomkakhe uthi uChipape kumnike enkulu inkululeko, uyise usanda kuzizwa lezi zindaba zobunkonkoni bakhe, kanti usazomnika ithuba elanele lokuthi ize izike le ndaba yokuthi uzele isitabane engqondweni, ngengoba esathukile futhi eshaqekile. Ehlukanisa inhloko nesixhanti uChipape uthi ukuphila impilo eqondile okuwukuthandana nobulili obuhlukile kobakho akusho ukuthi unamandla adlula awalabo abathandana nobulili obufanayo, kanjalo nobutabane abuchazi ukuthi untekenteke. Ubuqhawe ngokukaChipape ukunqoba zonke izithiyo nezithikamezo ezibambe ukuthi ungabi nenqubekela phambili empilweni, kungesikho ukuthi uyisitabane noma awusiso. Okubalulekile ukuthi ukuphi nempilo, futhi uphokophele kuphi. Onemizwa yokuthandana nobulili obufana nobakhe udinga ukuzethemba njengoba nayo imizwa yakhe isuke imtshela ukuthi ingeyokudalwa ngoba uzwa kahle ukuthi nguyena uqobo lo onje, uma kungalungile kusho ukuthi labo abakubona kungalungile yibona abangalungile. Kulolu cwaningo kuyakuvela ukuthi indlela yokuphila impilo ejwayelekile inokwesekwa kakhulu ngisho ezinhlelweni zemfundo ngoba kuvezwa imindeni enobaba nomama abawubulili obungafani. Akwenzeki kuthiwe abazali kushiwo abanobulili obufanayo, kanti sekuyenzeka lokho. Uqhuba athi umbono wokuthi izingane ezisafunda isikole zibe nothisha oyisitabane kunokwesabela ukuthi zingagcina sezinukubezeka noma zihlukumezeke ngandlela thize. Konke lokhu kuncike ekutheni impilo yobutabane ayithembekile uma iqhathaniswa nempilo eyejwayelekile. Ukuba khona komuntu omdala empilweni yetshitshi noma ibhungu kungaba usizo yikhona lizokwazi ukuxoxa naye ngemizwa yalo yothando. Uqhuba athi abantu abenza lo msebenzi ezimpilweni zabantwana bayindlala kakhulu emiphakathini yethu esikhathini sanamuhla. Ukufakazela lokhu okushiwo ngenhla endlini emnyama okuyisizwe samaZulu emandulo bekukhona amaqhikiza kanye nabaholi bebutho okuyibona abakade bebheka izindaba nezidingo zamabhungu namatshitshi. Ezindaweni lapho lokhu okusenzeka khona, yizindawo ezimbalwa zasemaphandleni. Inkinga yokushabalala kwaleli siko elihle kangaka ukufuduka kwabantu befudukela emadolobheni ngenxa yokuyohlwaya imisebenzi. Ngaleyo ndlela kwalimala ukukhuliswa kwabantwana ngendlela. 168 Kuyiqiniso elingephikwe lokhu ngoba nakuyo le mibhalo ecwaningiwe akuveli lapho kukhona umuntu omdala oyisitabane ingane ebukela kuye. Abantu abaningi bakholelwa ekutheni lolu hlobo lwempilo lunjengento esamdlalo okungukuthi akusilo uthando lwangempela ngoba ababhali bathi inhloso enkulu kulobu budlelwano ukwenza ucansi kodwa akusikhona ukuthandana. Okuchaza ukuthi kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi komuntu owenza naye ucansi nomuntu othandana naye. Abantu abasha bayazithanda izinto ezibukeka zizinhle futhi zithathwa njengezinto eziphambili. Asisekho isiqiniseko kahle sokuthi bonke laba bantu abathi banemizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufanayo, lokho yinto abaqinisekile ngayo, ngenxa yokuthi iningi labantu abasha lingothathekile. Uma isenzo esithile senziwa umuntu ongusaziwayo noma ngabe sibi kangakanani bazomlandela benze njengaye. Okuphawulekayo ukuthi laba bantu abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo banemali eningi. Njengabantu abasebasha abathanda imfashini, ukugqoka izinto ezinamagama, futhi ezibizayo, kulula ukulandela ezinyathelweni zalaba abathandana nobulili obufanayo ukuze umuntu athole le mali okungazi muntu ukuthi bayithathaphi. Nakho ukuthandana nobulili obufana nobakho, kuyimfashini khona ngokwakho. Abantu abasha ikakhulukazi basuke befuna ukugcobhoza kuyo yonke imithombo yempilo ngaphambi kokuzibophezela kokuthile. Lokhu bakwenziswa isiqiniseko abafuna ukuba naso ngaphambi kokukhetha leyo mpilo abazoyiphila. Ukufakazela okushiwo ngenhla impilo yabo laba abathandana nobulili obufana nobabo bagcina sebeyiphila izimpilo ezimbili uma besendaweni evumela ukuthandana kobulili obufanayo baphenduka izitabane, kanti uma belapho isimo esingabavumeli khona bathandana nobulili obuhlukile kobabo. Khona lapho kuyakuveza ukuthi akubona bodwa abadalwe nale mizwa abathandana nobulili obufanayo kodwa kukhona nabafuna ukuzwa nje ukuthi kunjani ukuphila le mpilo. Kulaba akuyona indlela abafuna ukuqhuba ngayo impilo yabo yansuku zonke. Okuchaza ukuthi nakuyo impilo ejwayelekile abesilisa njengoba kujwayelekile ukuthi babe nabathandana nabo 169 abaningi ngaphambi kokugxilisa izinhliziyo zabo koyedwa, nasebutabaneni kunjalo. Isizathu kuseyiso esokuthola ulwazi. iii) Ufuziso Kungaba iqiniso ukuthi ufuziselo olunalolu hlobo lwempilo lungawela lusuka esizukulwaneni luye kwesilandelayo. Kuba inkinga kodwa ukufihla le mpilo ngoba emndenini kugcina kungaziwa ukuthi kukhona insehle yobutabane uma ilunga lomndeni lizifihle kwaze kwaba sekugcineni. iv) Ukudlwengulwa noma ukunukubezwa ngokocansi kwabantwana Ababhali abacashunwe ezahlukweni ezingenhla bathi kuvamile ukuthi umntwana owake wanukubezwa ngokocansi umuntu omdala kunaye owubulili obufana nobakhe agcine eseyisitabane. Uchaza athi nakuba kwakuyinto angayithandi le eyenzeka kuye, kodwa kunenhlese evukayo yaleso siwombe sokunukubezwa edala ukuthi akubone kungenankinga ukusale eseqhubeka aphile kanjalo ngoba vele yiyona ndlela ake wayihamba leyo. Njengoba siphila kulesi sikhathi abantu abangasenanembeza nje, ukuphepha kwezingane zabafana sekuqikelelwa njengokwamantombazane ukuze nabo abafana bavikeleke ekubeni isisulu esichazwa ngenhla. Kuyafakazeleka ocwaningweni esahlukweni sesine lapho enovelini ethi, “Bayeza Abanqobi” abafanyana abahlala emgwaqweni sekuyisinkwa sabo semihla ngemihla ukunukubezwa abantu abadala. Lokhu kubhebhethekisa isimo esingesihle ngoba nabo laba abafike emgwaqweni banukubezwa, sebeyozibambela ezinganeni ezincane kunabo bazifundise lo mkhuba. 5.19 Okungenziwa abantu abangenalwazi ngale mpilo Njengoba ucwaningo luveza ukungaqondisisi kwabazali babantwana abathandana nobulili obufanayo ngale mpilo, iseluleko esiqonde kubazali singathi abazifundise ngalolu hlobo lwempilo. Ulwazi olwanele ngesimo lungayiguqula indlela abacabanga ngayo nakubo abantu abadala. Ziningi izindawo abangathola kuzo ulwazi ngale mpilo okufana nezinhlangano 170 esezisunguliwe zokweseka abaphila le mpilo ezifana ne LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) ne GALA (Gay and Lesbian Archives of South Africa). Olunye ulwazi luyatholakala ko-inthanethi namabhuku athile kanye nemiqulu enalezi zihloko ezithinta le mpilo. Ulwazi ngale mpilo luyasiza njengoba kusanda kuvela ku-ntanethi ku- inthanethi www.lifestletabloids.wordpress.com efundwe ziyi-10 kuNcwaba ukuthi sekunethuluzi lokuhlola ubutabane eliveza imiphumela emva kwemizuzu emihlanu. Lisebenza ngokufana naleli elihlola isandulela ngculazi. Izindaba ezinjena ziyadinga ukufinyelela emiphakathini yikhona izothola ulwazi bese ilusebenzisa lolo lwazi. Echaza uDkt. Motsoaledi ngaleli thuluzi uthi uma usafuna isiqiniseko usuyakwazi ukuthumela igazi lakho liyohlolwa ukuthi unazo yini izimpawu zobutanane maqede uqale ukudla imishanguzo ezobulala imizwa yobulili obufana nobakho. Njengoba kuthiwa ulwazi kanye nemishanguzo yobutabane isiyatholakala emitholampilo kungakuhle abantu baye emitholampilo eseduzane bayokwethekela ulwazi mayelana nalolu hlobo lwempilo. Okunye okuyinselelo ebhekene nabazali ukukhulisa abantwana ngendlela efanele. Inkinga enkulu ukuthi ayikho incwadi engasetshenziswa abazali bayilandele isinyathelo nesinyathelo ekukhuliseni abantwana babo. Umzali nomzali usebenzisa lokho osekufike ekhanda lakhe noma leyo ndlela naye akhuliswe ngayo njengodondolo lokucathulisa umntwana wakhe. Nokuzivuna izingane nakho kunawo umthelela kulolu hlobo lwempilo. Abazali ikakhulukazi abesifazane bayazona izingane zabo zabafana, bayazivumela zenze noma yini. Lokhu sikuzwile nakuMary umama kaSomizi ukuthi uthi phezu kwakho konke yena ujatshuliswa ukubona umntwana wakhe eneme. Akumphathi kahle ukuzwa abantu bebeka uSomizi amabala, ingani yena mzali wakhe akanankinga, pho abanye abantu baxakwa yini ngoSomizi? 171 5.20 Ubunzima bempilo kulabo abanemizwa yobutabane. Umcwaningi uphetha ngokuthi kuningi okungaba umphumela wokuba nemizwa yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo okungaba yizinkinga empilweni yakhe njengo:  Mzwangedwa (ungabi naye umuntu ohlekisana naye)  Ukuzenyeza  Izimfihlo zakho wedwa  Ukungalutholi usizo ngempilo efana neyakho  Ukuzibulala 5.21 Isiphetho Izimvo zabalingiswa abavezwe ababhali bezindaba ezimfishane ziyavela ngabakushoyo nabakwenzayo abalingiswa okwenze ukuthi kube lula kumcwaningi ukuthola ukuthi abalingiswa bazizwa kanjani ngesimo sokuthandana kobulili obufanayo kulezi zindaba ezimfishane. Ngasemaphethelweni alesi sahluko kudidiyelwe nokushiwo amaphephandaba, amaphephabhuku ne-inthanethi ngobutabane. Isahluko sokugcina esilandelayo sisonga ucwaningo, umcwaningi uqoqela ndawonye konke akuzuze kulezi zahluko ezinhlanu azenzile. Umcwaningi ubhale nemibono kanye nezincomo acabanga ukuthi zingaba usizo kakhulu ezinkingeni zale ndikimba yobutabane. 172 ISAHLUKO 6 ISIPHETHO SOCWANINGO 6.1 Isingeniso Lolu cwaningo lusongwa ngokubuyekeza okwethulwe ezahlukweni ezinhlanu zalolu cwaningo. Kuzolandela izincomo neziphakamiso, bese umcwaningi ethula nezihloko zocwaningo ezingenziwa ngokuzayo, maqede aphethe ucwaningo lonke. 6.2 Iqoqa locwaningo Esahlukweni sokuqala esiyisingeniso socwaningo kukhona isethulo socwaningo, izinhloso zokwenza lolu cwaningo, izindlela oluzoqhutshwa ngazo kanye nenjulalwazi oyakhe uhlala lwalolu cwaningo. Kubuye kwahlelwa nezahluko, kwachazwa nokuthi zizobe zimumetheni. Ngasemaphethelweni aso lesi sahluko kuchazwe amagama azozetshenziswa kulolu cwaningo, sabe sesiphethwa isahluko. Isahluko sesibili siqukethe izinhlobo zemibhalo enendikimba yobutabane. Kule mibhalo kukhona amabhuku, ama-athikili, amadezetheshini namathisizi. Umcwaningi kulesi sahluko ubheke ukuthi kuthiwani ngobutabane kule mibhalo, wabe esebheka ukuthi lokhu abakushoyo kuhluke ngani ocwaningweni alwenze kulo msebenzi. Kule mibhalo kuvela izinkinga ezidalwa yile mpilo yokuthandana kobulili obufanayo.Lokho kuyenzeka nasemibhalweni ecwaningiwe.Yonke le mibhalo ebuyekeziwe kulolu cwaningo kuphawulilwe ukuthi inamibiko mini, namibono mini ngobutabane. Esiphethweni salesi sahluko kube sekusongwa isahluko. Esesithathu isahluko siqukethe injulalwazi yobutabane. Kulesi sahluko kuchazwe ukuthi injulalwazi yobutabane ihambelana kanjani nemibhalo ecwaningiwe kulo msebenzi. Kuvela nokufanayo phakathi kweQueer Theory nokwenzeka emibhalweni ecwaningiwe. Lapha umcwaningi ucaphune okushiwo ababhali ngale njulalwazi, lolo lwazi walusebenzisa emibhalweni ehluzwe kulolu cwaningo. Ube esesiphetha lesi sahluko umcwaningi. Esahlukweni sesine nesesihlanu yilapho ucwaningo olwethulwe khona. Kulezi zihloko zezahluko okungamanoveli nezindaba ezimfishane, umcwaningi ubheke imibhalo ayifundile 173 enendikimba yobutabane. Yilapho ebahlele wabahlukanisa khona abalingiswa, ukuzekube lula ukuthola imicabango eyethulwa izenzo zabo zobutabane. Ababhali abacashunwe umcwaningi kulezi zahluko eziwomongo wocwaningo bayakuveza ukuthi kunezimpawu eziyizinkomba zokuthi umntwana unemizwa yobutabane okuyilezi:  Ukuthanda ukugqoka izimpahla zabantu besifazane.  Ukuthanda onodoli nezitsha zetiye okungamathoyizi amantombazane.  Uma kudlalwa izindlu, lowo mfana uthanda ukuba umama.  Bahlala namantomazane babe abangani abakhulu nawo.  Uyafisa ukuba intombazane, kwesinye isikhathi akaze angasho ukuthi uzizwa kanjalo, kodwa ebe ezizwa kanjalo.  Ukungathandi ukudlala imidlalo yabafana efana nebhola lezinyawo, elombhoxo neminye yabafana edinga amandla. Esahlukweni sesithupha umcwaningi ubhale iqoqa lawo wonke lo msebenzi, echaza ukuthi isahluko nesahluko siphathelene nani. Ube esethula izincomo kanye neziphakamiso. Okunye akuphawulile izihloko ezingasetshenziswa ngokuzayo, ukuqhubekisa noma ukuthuthukisa ulwazi ngale ndikimba yobutabane. Ube eselusonga ucwaningo lonke olusihloko sithi: Ukucwaningwa Ngokuvezwa Kwemicabango Yabalingiswa Ngempilo Yabathandana Nobulili Obufanayo Njengoba Kuvezwe Ezindabeni Ezimfishane Nasemanovelini Akhethiwe EsiZulu. 6.3 Izincomo neziphakamiso Kuyancomeka ukuthi bakhona abanye abantu ababahloniphayo abanye abaphila impilo eyehlukile kweyabo. Emazweni amaningi ilungelo lezitabane liyahlonishwa njengoba nezwe lethu iNingizimu Afrika lingelinye lalawo mazwe. Umbono oyisisombululo womcwaningi uthi asifunde ukwamukelana, umuntu umthande njengoba edalwe enjalo. Olandelayo umbono ukungabeki abazali icala ngengane ephila le mpilo yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo, nabo abazali bangazisoli ekukhuliseni abantwana babo, kwazise ayikho incwadi esetshenziswa abazali yokuthi kufanele bazikhulise kanjani izingane zabo. 174 Yingakho omunye umbono womcwaningi uthi kuliqiniso ukuthi kukhona abangaphoqwa imizwa ukuthandana nobulili obufanayo, kodwa ukuthi nje bayazithandela ukubonakala behlukile. Phela le mpilo esikhathini samanje kwabanye iyimfashini, abanye bayenza ibhizinisi njengoba ngike ngasho ngaphambilini. Umphakathi-ke uba senkingeni wokungakwazi ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwalabo abazidlalelayo nalabo abaphoqwa imizwa ngempela noma abadaliwe bethandana nobulili obufana nobabo. Ucwaningo lwengule inkungu emehlweni omcwaningi ukuthi le nto yokuthandana nobulili obufanayo kungenzeka ukuthi idalwa imizwa esuka kule nkeshezana esala ngaphakathi enemizwa yobulili obungafani nalobu obungaphandle. Kukhona ukukhathazeka ngathi thina abamnyama ngokuba budedengu uma sikhulisa abantwana ngokungabi nalo iso lokuqaphela izinto ezingaba zinkomba kumntwana mayelana nobulili bakhe. Nasemibhalweni eyizindaba ezimfushane ecwaningiwe, akukho lapho kuvela khona omunye wabazali ephawula ngezimpawu ake wazisola kumntwana wakhe esemncane ukuthi kungenzeka athande ubulili obufana nobakhe. Ngokomcwaningi laba bantu badinga lokhu okulandelayo ukwesekwa, besekwa imindeni yabo kanye nomphakathi jikelele. Lokho kungadala ukuthi bazizwe bengabantu nabo, hhayi ezinye nje izinto ezingenagama ezihlukile. Lokhu kuhluka abazizwa beyikho kuyingcindezi nje khona kukodwa. Ngisho laba abazenzisayo abangadalwanga bethanda ubulili obufanayo bangayeka ukuzenza izinto abangezona ngoba befuna kuthiwe “bahlukile”. Phela kulabo abazenzisayo, ukuthandana nobulili obufana nobakho kuyindlela yokubukwa, yokugqama nokuduma. Ukwesekwa okuchazwe ngenhla kungabenza bazizwe bemukelekile, lokho okunganciphisa nenzondo eqhamuka ezingxenyeni zombili. Abaphila impilo ejwayelekile bangaba nokubamukela, kuhlalwe ngokuzwana. Ucwaningo luveza ukungemukelani nenzondo enkulu ebhekiswe kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo, yilabo abangayiphili le mpilo. Yingakho abathandana nobulili obufanayo begcina sebenezindawo zabo bodwa lapho abaveza khona imizwa yabo ngokukhululeka njengezindawo zabo bodwa zokucima ukoma, ezokujuxuza nezinye. 175 Abalingiswa abaningi bayabhekana nalesi simo sokungakwazi ukuzamukela baze bagcine ngokuqunga isibindi baphumele obala ngemizwa yabo. Okwenza balahlekelane nabathandiweyo babo kanjalo nemindeni nabangani. Nokudideka ababanakho uma beqala ukuzwa imizwa yokuthanda ubulili obufana nobabo kungancipha kakhulu uma besekiwe futhi bezizwa bemukelekile. Ngenxa yokuthi, besekiwe, bathola uthando nokwamukelwa, kungalula ukuthi bachushiswe ekutheni bangayiphila kanjani impilo yabo, njengoba nakubo kuseyinselelo lokhu abangakwazi okwenzeka emizimbeni yabo. 6.4 Ucwaningo olungenziwa ngokuzayo Lolu cwaningo luyinselelo nakuye umcwaningi uqobo. Lubukeka njengesendlalelo sezinye izihloko eziningi ezinendikimba yobutabane ezingacwaningwa ngokuzayo. Ngaphandle nje kwemicabango nezenzo zabalingiswa okwenziwe kulolu cwaningo, kungacwaningwa ngalokhu:  Izizathu eziholela ekutheni umntwana abe isitabane.  Ubudlelwane phakathi kokudayiswa komzimba nobutabane.  Ubutabane nomthelela wakho ekwandeni kwesandulela ngculazi nesifo sengculazi.  Izinkinga ezidalwa inzondo ebhekiswe kwabathandana nobulili obufanayo.  Ubudlelwano phakathi kokuthandana kobulili obufanayo, isifo sengculazi nokudayiswa komzimba.  Indikimba yothando nobudlelwano bayo nobutabane.  Ucwaningo ngesizinda nomthelela waso ekwandeni kwempilo yobutabane. 6.5 Ukuhlaziya okutholakele Abazali babalingiswa abaphila impilo yobutabane abakwamukeli ukuthi abantwana babo bahlukile ebafaneni noma emantombazaneni ajwayelekile. Okutholakele ukuthi abantwana abangabafana abayizitabane yibona abangemukeleki kakhulu emiphakathini nasemindenini yabo uma beqhathaniswa nabangamantombazane. Okunye okuphawulilwe isibindi abaphila le mpilo abasikhombisayo uma sebenqumile ukuthi sebephumela obala ngobulili babo. Kubonakala bengenendaba nemizwa yalabo abangamalungu emindeni yabo kuphela nje uma 176 bezitholele injabulo yabo. Amalungu emindeni kuvelile nokuthi akhombisa nokuphela kothando kulabo abayizitabane, izinhlobo zegazi nabazalanayo bayaxabana. Le mpilo yobutabane kutholakele nokuthi nakuba seyandile, ayikanambitheki kwabaningi abadala ngeminyaka. Abasebancane babonakala beyamukela le mpilo kanjalo nabantu abayiphilayo. 6.6 Ukuphetha isahluko nocwaningo lonke Uma sesazi kabanzi noma sesinolwazi olunzulu ngokuthandana kwabantu abawubulili obufanayo, nakanjani iyoguquka indlela esibuka ngayo le mpilo. Njengoba kungemnandi ukuphuma komphefumulo womuntu ngenxa yokuthi ubenengcindezi yokungamukelwa ngesizathu sokuthi uyisitabane, kudingeka abantu babe nolwazi ngale mpilo. Ukuzifundisa ngento ongenalwazi ngayo kuyisidingo sawo wonke umuntu. 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